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Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 12:36:35 PM   
hers4pleasure69


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		has anyone ever dealt with or had a surrogate Domme before? my Domme and i have been in a LDR for 6 years and She knows my needs aren't being totally met. She has started looking for a "surrogate Domme" for me and i was just wondering if anyone has done this successfully before and about any pitfalls that may occur. She has definite ideas and also expects progress reports from any "surrogate".  Is this unreasonable?

Would like to hear what others think or have been through doing this.

Thinking of posting the same on the Ask a Mistress board also.
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 1:41:23 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I've seen this work when the Dominants were friends to begin with. I've also seen it fail miserably when the surrogate and submissive bonded.

Master Fire


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(in reply to hers4pleasure69)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 1:59:22 PM   
hers4pleasure69


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		probably should have added we have only had the chance to be together twice  and She lives 900 miles from me.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 2:00:48 PM   
DungeonSpain


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/27/2005
From: Benidorm, Spain
Status: offline 		About three years ago, we received a request from a Domme /Mommy in Canada. She was the Mommy to an adult baby who used to vist her in , I think, Montreal.

Apparently, he had been something approaching a pain in the arse to her and had been misbehaving.

As a punishment, she ordered him to visit us for a period of four nights, during which time he was to act as our 'sissymaid'.



He was actually a delightful chap, and during his stay, he was routinely punished for any misdemeanours, by both Master and the Mistresses.Otherwise, he was good company.

The downside was (and this is why we no longer accept adult babies) that he had been instructed by his Mommy to shit in his nappy. Been there done that with our own kids. Let me tell you, dealing with that situation was no fun at all.

He was punished severely. Someday, we hope to return the favour to his mommy.

However, returning to the case in point ... yes ... surrogate Dommes do work, but there is always a sting in the tail ... or shit in the pants in this particular instance.

Regards from sunny Spain

Iron Damsel, Mistress Stiletto and Highlander
www.bondagedominationspain.com

< Message edited by DungeonSpain -- 5/13/2007 2:04:58 PM >

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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 2:27:03 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Not to put to much of a spin on your question, but you have been in a LDR for 6 years and have only been together twice.  Instead of finding a surrogate maybe it's time to move closer to your Dom and have some real time with her.

(in reply to DungeonSpain)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 2:56:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Usually works better when the dom gives the sub away permanently.

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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 7:10:55 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline 		Can't say I've heard of it before, but my gut is telling me it's a bad move. 

Mike seems to have the right idea, just get togehter for real time.

6 years is longer than most marriages these days. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 7:42:45 PM   
hers4pleasure69


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		to many other things going on that I don't care to go into here that preclude that. Suffice to say, it's not going to happen anytime soon.

(in reply to Damocles809)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 7:59:48 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Just so you know not all adult babies insist on or do so under orders shitting their diapers. I identify as an inner child now, which is differnt in so many personal ways to me than an AB, but when it was simply Adult baby, I refused to do any pooping in diapers, I still do as an inner child, refuse to poop in diapers.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DungeonSpain


The downside was (and this is why we no longer accept adult babies) that he had been instructed by his Mommy to shit in his nappy.


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(in reply to DungeonSpain)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 8:18:33 PM   
hers4pleasure69


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		laffs.....that may be what She is leading up to....one never knows for sure.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/13/2007 8:47:51 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		What would be the purpose of the surrogate?  To train you for a Domme you may never see again?

Quite honestly - even though you may feel devoted to your Domme, it appears to predominantly be an online/phone thing, as you've only seen her twice in 6 years and don't think that is going to change.  If you start seeing another Domme r/t on a regular basis, how strong do you think that bond with the Domme that you don't have that level of contact with will last?


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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to hers4pleasure69)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/15/2007 7:38:37 PM   
boundfem


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/18/2004
Status: offline 		I had a friend who had 2 surrogates at one time. He completely utterly lost the meaning of loyalty in any of his relationships.  In the end, he met yet another Domme, they are in a very close relationship and he ended his relationship with the first Domme who he had the LDR with.  Confused? So is he.
 
I would go with the posters who said perhaps it is just time to find a Domme closer to you or move to the Domme you are so far apart from. 
 
To me, the idea of surrogate Domme is one that may be nice in concept, but I bet it fails more times than not.  If the new Domme and sub bond.. well the old one is going to be pushed out.  I'd say the chances of either Domme becoming possessive and not liking to share is probably high.
I just don't think it is likely to be a good situation.

(in reply to hers4pleasure69)
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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/15/2007 10:26:00 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I personally think this is insane on more levels than I can count. 

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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/16/2007 1:03:54 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		You rip your band-aids off in one yank, don't you?
 
I think you're right in the long run, Lucky, but it's so damned hard to do it.  I always found it easier to fail first, THEN make a permanent change of Dom.

Edit:  it occurs to me that everyone on this site either rips band-aids off in one fell swoop or does it slow on purpose.
 
More to the point:  I did some thinking and can't remember a surogate working perfectly in the vanilla world.  In BDSM it might, as sex isn't clouding the issue. 
 
To the OP: Do you love your 6 year Domme?  Is she married/involved?  Has she ever taken on another (closer) sub?
 
My advice, as someone who has done LDR vanilla and not, if both parties are not happy with it, get out, and be friends until later. 

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 5/16/2007 1:08:10 AM >

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RE: Surrogate Domme - bad idea or ? - 5/16/2007 3:21:11 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with the Domme giving the submissive away permanently.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
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