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Trust test. - 5/13/2007 7:01:19 PM

subinmi

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

At a dinner i attended today i heard a Dom talk about a trust test he gave a prospective slave. They were in a store and he gave her an item and told her to walk out the door with it. The prospective slave refused saying she would be arrested.
He said she failed the test. i'm a newbie and believe i may be more slave than sub but i would never commit myself to someone who asked me to do something illegal. Whether or not he would have stopped her at the door is immaterial.
Does this kind of "test" happen often? Was it a bad test or just a bad Dom?

Post #: 1

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 7:20:10 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

In the rules that I have for my boy (he's a sub), it says right in there that that he will obey unless it's dangerous, life threatening or violates laws. Not that I would ask him to do anything that would be in the first place.

Mike

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 2

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 7:55:42 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

If he considers that a test of her commitment it's lacking in my opinion. What did he actually find out? She has a brain and will use it when he tells her to do something that goes against her morals? For that "test" to work he had to know that she knew it was a test and she had to play along, knowing all along, he was going to make her stop. That is playing a game if you ask me - there is no honesty in that. Her passing the test under those condition would have been meaningless.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 3

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:03:53 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

to me, that is a pretty dumb game, not to mention risky in a bad way

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 4

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:18:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Gotta love doms on a power trip.

Setting up ridiculous false tests to prove nothing and end the possibility of a good relationship- yeah brilliant.

False tests of any sort of ridiculous, the kind that can actually cause someone to deal with unnecessary stress and other life issues even more so. What about a test in which he told her to tell an ex she might have given them AIDS?

I have done and certainly would do illegal things in my life- that's irrelevant to the situation IMO.

Time and being fulfilled together through what time and life brings is the only test that will show you whether your relationship is working. Anything else is just someone trying to be a dork.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 5

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:21:56 PM

hawkwolf7

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Ummm. I really think the whole thing is backwards here.

The trust of the submissive or slave is EARNED by the Dominant or Master. In that context, testing their trust simply makes no sense.

Unless the Dom was testing how good a job he had done earning her trust??? Even there, his test violated her trust, so it was guaranteed to fail.

See what I mean about it being backward?

HW

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 5/13/2007 8:24:47 PM >

_____________________________

p.s. Everything I write is simply one person's opinion: mine. Feel free to take what is useful and blow off the rest.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 6

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:22:16 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subinmi

At a dinner i attended today i heard a Dom talk about a trust test he gave a prospective slave. They were in a store and he gave her an item and told her to walk out the door with it. The prospective slave refused saying she would be arrested.
He said she failed the test. i'm a newbie and believe i may be more slave than sub but i would never commit myself to someone who asked me to do something illegal. Whether or not he would have stopped her at the door is immaterial.
Does this kind of "test" happen often? Was it a bad test or just a bad Dom?

I'd view that as the dominant failing.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 7

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:27:48 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I don't take well to that typoe of test. I would have been pretty much have been done with him right then and there.

I have a friend who tells a story that one of here first Dominants gave her a test, that she flunked and was dismissed immmediately for. One of her hard limits was water sports/excrement. One day they were at home and he went into the bathroom,came out and said I left something on the back of the toilet for you, bring it to me. She finds a glass of " urine" and brings it, he tells her to drink it and she refused. After a bit of conjoling on his part and her continued refussal, he told her she had trust issues and he could not tolerate that. Apparently he pre planned and it was a glass of warm flat beer.

IMO, I do not need tests to prove my submission. In the course of a growing, ongoing relationship there are real and valuable tests quite often along the way. I beleive that the tests come thru the growth of the relationship, not thru some dreamt up arbitray test, just to see if I will say yes.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 8

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 8:33:34 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello subnimi. I know that test, it's a stupidity test. The sub passed, demonstrating she knew about the safe - sane - consensual principals and applied them in good judgement. The dom failed the test not for inciting someone to do criminal activities (Illegal) but for simply 'talking' about it after the fact. RL

< Message edited by robertolapiedra -- 5/13/2007 8:34:59 PM >

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 9

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 10:16:43 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I think it is a perfect test, anyone willing to do it isn't worth having and anyone asking it isn't worth trusting.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

Post #: 10

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 10:43:57 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

All testing does is prove that the person beeing tested cant really trust the person that feels the need to test them... If Master ever felt the need to test me then well i would know our reltionship wasnt working and would end it not only because if he doesnt feel he can trust me by now without testing then something is wrong but because testing is immeture mean and hurtfull.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 11

RE: Trust test. - 5/13/2007 11:18:46 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I think it is a perfect test, anyone willing to do it isn't worth having and anyone asking it isn't worth trusting.

Ditto

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 12

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 12:32:28 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Trust tests are given by those who feel insecure, and lack the ability to trust their own perceptions about a person.

Who wants a dominant or master that violates limits even before you consent to surrender?

Trust is more often misplaced than it is breached. Act upon confidence gained through experience.

>anyone willing to do it isn't worth having and anyone asking it isn't worth trusting.
Agreed.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 13

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 3:12:27 AM

ownedkitten

Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I think it is a perfect test, anyone willing to do it isn't worth having and anyone asking it isn't worth trusting.

Greetings Master Michael,

I would agree wholeheartedly with your statement - well said!

_____________________________

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." -Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 14

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 3:26:23 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

"Prospective slave" meaning "We've built el-zilcho trust." It's a worthless test. The occupational workshop ropes course "You fall back, I catch you" deal is more effective. I suppose after a few months or years of trust, a Dom should be able to look his or her Pet in the eye and say "Take this out of the store. Trust me, nothing will happen." That's a more realistic situation for such an outrageous test.

(in reply to ownedkitten)

Post #: 15

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 3:47:12 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

The slave passed the "test" with flying colours, as would've you! The monumental loser/failure (at several levels) was the "dom"....

Focus.

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 16

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 4:42:09 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

That sounds like a test from a dom who is insecure in his domiliness and perhaps is challenged by a sub who isn't a robot.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 17

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 4:48:45 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

The slave passed the "test" with flying colours, as would've you! The monumental loser/failure (at several levels) was the "dom"....

Focus.

Indeed. The Dominant failed the test.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 18

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 5:00:24 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

That Dom at the table you heard speaking was not a Dom, he was a dumbass there is a big difference. Responsible Dominants do not put their subs/slaves in harms way and having them shop lift just for his amusement is putting them in harms way. People like him need to have a few jolts of electricity to shock them back into reality.

Listen to your gut, if it tells you something is wrong don't do it because some dumbass tells you too.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to subinmi)

Post #: 19

RE: Trust test. - 5/14/2007 5:09:14 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

I agree with everyone else

What a dumbass... I hope someone at the table served his a second helping of shut the frack up.

If not.... I'd take a deep long look at everyone else who sat at that table & how they responded... because this dumb-ass just revealed a great deal about their character while he confirmed his own.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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