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addicted2it -> RE: Need Input Please (5/14/2007 8:50:05 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Rrobinlarkway
Hi! My name is Robin and I am new to the boards. I have a problem of a sort that hopefully ya'llcan help me with.
I am married and have been for about 16 years. As of just over a year ago, my husband discovered that he was a Master in the BDSM/Gorean lifestyle. I was kinda taken aback when he announced this to me, but I thought, "ok," and continued on with life. He approached me about becoming his slave. So, I thought, "Ok, this might spice things up for us." Cuz things for about a year things had quieted down. Boy, was I in for a surprise!!!
I had no idea what was in store for me, but I agreed and ventured into the slave thing with no ideas. What I lived in that period of time wasn't pleasant by any means of the word!!! I could do NOTHING right, no matter how hard I tried. My dog was more favored than me!! But I had agreed and went along with it. The breaking point was when he "cropped me" for something very small. I can't remember the reason, but I do remember the beating he gave me. It was when I begged him to let me be his wife again (and I mean BEGGED) that he let me out of the slave thing.
Mind you, I have respect for everyone, but I couldn't see me living with him serving out the harsh punishments that he did.
Well, he decided to go online to find a new slave and he did. He fell in love with her and became obsessed with her. He had made arraignments to go see her without my knowledge. (I found this out afterward...) She figured out that something was a miss when he would not leave her alone. He was constantly "up her tail".She had enough when he started to interfere with her family life (she was married at the time) and she made an excuse of "moving" just so he would release her and leave her alone.
Now, he has met another young lady who lives in our state and has decided to "collar her" as his slave.She knows he is married and SAYS she will not allow a sexual relationship to evolve from this. He says that he would "never allow this lifestyle to tear our marriage apart". He is either online with her or on the phone with her at least 5-6 hours a day. (he talks to her on the phone during his work time cuz he works at night.) He, too, has made plans to meet her, but he told me about it this time.
I know how human nature works and I am kinda concerned that, even tho he says there will be a "Bi-girl" there for after the playing, that he will still have sex with her. He insists that he will not and that I should trust him. She supposedly has nothing but admoration for me, cuz I understand my husband's ways and that I am "a better person than she to be so understanding".
Am I crazy? He treats me so much better now that I am no longer his slave. But like I asked, am I crazy?What is your input on all this?
I would appreciate anything you would have to tell me. Sometimes I feel so alone cuz I don't have anyone to talk to about any of this.
Thank you so much!!!
In my opinion, there is no excuse for him to dump you into this type of relationship without fully-explaining what it is.
Please...if you think that your safety is at risk, get out!!!
If not, and you still want to be in this marriage, find a kink-aware therapist and work it out.
There will be many who respond to your post. Please listen to them and learn.
Take good care. *smile*
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