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So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 5:40:15 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


What do we do with the little scars and darker bits?  Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 5:47:04 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		If you are going to get serious with someone you better have all of your baggage in front of you...and treat her like she is the inspector examining your shit before you board the plane....There is no worse consequence then hearing something about your "partner" from some other source.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 5:59:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		In my relationship I was required to display it all - give it to him up front, even the stuff I didnt' recognize as baggage.  With his help (and it was not easy) I was required to get rid of it all.  Carrying it around prevented me from being who I am today, and from giving him all of me.  Nothing like a good solid barrier to prevent a submissive from submitting!

I can not tell you how absolutely liberating it was to finally feel totally free to be who I am, unencumbered, uninhibited, and unbound from my past.  But one must be willing to look at it all - to bring it to the surface and face it - in order to toss it.  Otherwise you're just hiding it and stuffing it into places where eventually it'll just pop back up.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:01:50 PM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline 		Humans were not meant to live so long; we were not designed to carry so much baggage. In a natual setting, most people would be dead by age 30, and would have "chosen" their mate by age 15. Our complex society, with it's new rules and lifestyle is forcing us to do things that were are not prepared to deal with.

Everyone has good and bad bits; to some the good things could be bad, and vice versa. It's not about your baggage fitting in with society, but that you can find someone who fits in with your baggage; who has the same good and bad bits.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:06:55 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		The really scarey part is when you don't realize the baggage is there. You think you have it all tucked nicely away. Didn't realize it was an issue until something happens that just sets your world upside down.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:19:25 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Get a luggage cart, pile on the baggage and drag it behind you?  I have a lot of baggage.

I don't really have a good anwser but I think at some point its ok to leave some of it on the baggage carosel, unclaimed and just watch it go round and round.






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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:30:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You find someone willing to share eachothers load.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:38:36 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I've always thought with self-discovery and self-acceptance that baggage wasn't part of my life.

Usually you think of 'baggage' as something that occurs over prior relationships that didn't go, or end, well.  But even so, if you have a keen sense of your own identity, then those niggling bits should disappear with the other party.

You 'should' be able to start anew.

Jeff

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:41:34 PM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline 		I like LA's answer as usual, but for me it was about owning and acknowledging the baggage as part of me and part of what has made me who I am today.  So many people spend their lives running from their baggage when the answer for me has always been to turn around and look it in the eye.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:43:00 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


What do we do with the little scars and darker bits?  Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?


Wow!  That's a very cool question!

(Wish I had an answer!)

Truly a great post.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:43:26 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I tend to be a big mouth and tell all. The catch telling it at different and right moments. Everyone has some baggage so you know you aren't alone.  The good ones will take it in and compile your baggage with you.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:53:45 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

It is our suffering that brings us together.  It is not love.  Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced.  The bond that brings us is beyond choice.  We are brothers.  We are brothers in what we share.  In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, poverty, and hope, we know our brotherhood.  We know it, because we have had to learn it.  We know that there is no help for us but from one another, and that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand.  And the hand you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing.  You possess nothing.  You own nothing.  You are free.  All you have is what you are, and what you give.



Ursula Le Guin, The Dispossessed.


You hold your hand out, you give all that you will, and you accept what another will give.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:56:50 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Everyone has baggage, if they've loved and lost or been hurt in other ways.  It's what you do to move beyond the baggage that counts.  Dark bits are as much about who you are as the light bits.  Hopefully you find someone to share your life with who isn't intimidated by your baggage and likewise.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 6:58:44 PM   
subinside


Posts: 233
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Toronto, ON
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

You 'should' be able to start anew.

Jeff


True, but sometimes it's harder getting over one than another.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 7:04:55 PM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		The darker parts are part of us already. The trick is to accept the darkness, make peace with it, integrate into into the whole. Then it  no longer feels like baggage.

Just as the way to break the chains of pain is to go through the pain, to be pain and learn what pain is supposed to teach us, the way to break the chains of darkness is to go through the darkness. Don't run away from darkness, calmly walk into it.

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 7:25:55 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


What do we do with the little scars and darker bits?  Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?
There is not much you can do about your baggage..It is part of who you are..it has shaped and molded you..good and bad..It comes down to simply how you deal with it..do you alloew it to overcome and overwhelm? Do you find a place to put it and ignore its existence? Do you draw from it in such a way as to make it useful to you?Do you learn from your baggage and gain a better perspective and balance? Do you share it, so its weight does not overwhelm you?..It always will come down to choice ...what is yours?...just remember that baggage can create other baggage......Tempting

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You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 7:30:47 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		[fast reply]
I suppose you can chose to go through life with with steamer trunks and all sorts of other baggage, or you can chose to travel light.



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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 7:34:12 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


What do we do with the little scars and darker bits?  Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?


I don't think I could possibly improve on the comment made by FirmhandKY in another thread where he mentions the part our "baggage" plays in our relationship with each other...

"Yes, I've found what I was looking for, after years of thinking, soul-searching and looking.  And it's a match that is so excellent that it's one that I never realistically expected, although I had always kept a forlorn hope out for it.  It not based on fantasy, but a realistic and deep appreciation of what we both want, and what we both need.  It is based on years of being in relationships that weren't what we both wanted or needed.

It was easy to recognize because of all the people and relationships before that weren't successful.  Those people and relationships that "didn't work out" were the fire that purified our souls, and our self-understanding.  So even the most difficult and unfufilling relationship we had before were a positive thing in the long run, and helped forged our understanding of what we truly wanted and needed."

So, there really isn't baggage to be left behind or carried with us.  It's experience that brings growth and understanding... lessons to be learned and appreciated for what they bring us in the end.

And I'm ever so grateful. 

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 5/14/2007 7:43:04 PM >

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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 7:35:58 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


Why shouldn't the good stuff be okay to claim?

Why shouldn't the bad stuff be okay to claim too?

This way to the equal-opportunity baggage claim area.


quote:

What do we do with the little scars...

appreciate them for their decorative value.




quote:

...and darker bits?


That's the chocolate, you ninny!


quote:

Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?


I'm not at all sure what this sentence was intended to mean. Any "reality" which doesn't include more than yourself, doesn't include everything and everyone, well I just don't see how the word reality could apply.

Is there another way to ask the same question?



As for what seems to me to be the larger question, I think the question of what to do with one's baggage and scars can, if you choose, be seen to resolve itself pretty neatly when you take a close look at it.

A certain Austrian humorist pointed out that the thing about getting to the bottom of a question is to stop digging once you get there. After that you're just dulling your shovel and wearing yourself out.

I have my baggage (and scars.)

What do I do? I eat and sleep and work and play; laugh and cry; sing and dance; fret sometimes; relax sometimes. Sometimes I just close my eyes for a while. Sometimes I look. Sometimes I leap.

Since I have my baggage and that is what I do, I guess that is what I do with my baggage.

In my opinion,
that is a perfectly fine thing for you
to do
with your baggage, too,
pue.


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RE: So what does one do with all this 'baggage'? - 5/14/2007 8:22:38 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

We all have it... what do we do with it?  Why is the 'good' stuff okay to claim as a part of what makes us the person that we are...


What do we do with the little scars and darker bits?  Where do you put your baggage when you are including more than yourself in your own reality?


I get the concept, but not agreeing with it.  Both the good and the bad make U/us who W/we are.  It's kind of silly for anyone to think otherwise.  I'm not an authority, but I've yet to meet anyone who never had anything negative happen in their life., just like I've never met anyone who hasn't ever had anything positive happen in their life.  Our experiences help U/us to form our perceptions, etc.
 
Where the difference might lie is which part are you letting rule your life.  Funny thing about baggage (in the literal sense).  Most people keep it stored away, until they have a use for it.  They put their things in it, or take them out.  Then, they put the baggage away, until it's needed again.
 
For the last part, I'll just borrow that line from the song......
 
Our scars remind U/us, that the past is real.

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