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Elorin -> RE: Vanilla = Weak?! (5/16/2007 5:37:35 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Faramir
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ORIGINAL: Elorin
~using fast reply~ I think that being vanilla because you refuse to think for yourself, apply your reason and rational mind to your cultural mores, and reconsider your social conditioning is weak. I think, however, if you have considered kink and rejected it because it isn't for you (as opposed to because your church teaches it is wrong, you are afraid of it, or other reasons like that) you aren't weak - you just aren't kinky.
Really-so if someone makes a life choice based on their ethical or faith framework that doesn't agree with yours, they're weak?
No, that's not what I meant, though I can understand it is what you got from it. I'm thinking of those who claim to be Christian and do what the preacher says but have never cracked a Bible. And I'm thinking of those who blindly follow what the church teaches is wrong, not from faith but from simply never having considered the matter with logic. Faith is important - I know, because I have a strong faith. However I have considered my faith and recognize the places where it departs from logic. I've thought about it. I've read the Bible and decided if I agree whether what the preacher says actually follows from the Bible reference he gives.
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I know a woman who feels that SM action violates the Eightfold Path, in particular Right Action. I don't agree with her, but she sure as shit isn't weak--she's just come to a different conclusion than I have about about how one ends dukkha.
I wasn't saying that having a faith is weakness. I'm not even saying that having blind faith is always weakness, or always denotes weak people. It can, however, be a form of weakness.
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And if Charlie Cristian or Suzy Sunni felt that a given kink or BDSM practice was not consonant with their faith, who the fuck are you to dismiss their decision to live in obedience to a given faith or ethos?
I am a person, just like you, who forms opinions, just like you. Do I dismiss someone's choice to practice their faith? No. Do I feel that if Charlie or Suzy condemns me as wrong or bad that I have a right to form an opinion about them? Absolutely. Are generalizations always true? Not at all.
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Isn't it funny--even in a thread like this, where it is clear that the tendency to go "Oh, my way is superior/harder/more rigorous" or whatever, some people can't help doing it. Your intellectualy weak, judemental and self-congratulatory "Choosing an alternate lifestyle takes strength," bullshit reflects poorly on only one person: you.
I'm sorry you think that my opinion is bullshit. I, of course, disagree. I think that choosing to follow an alternate lifestyle takes a strength that a lot of people don't have. I speak to people every week who have chosen to hide their interest in kink because they are afraid of what might happen if a girlfriend, or wife, or someone else found out they had it. They don't have the strength to say "this is who I am" and accept the harder path. Does that mean that people who do not choose alternate lifestyles are not weak? Absolutely not. But to say that choosing to live an alternate lifestyle does not take strength is to blind yourself to the reality of modern society.
I am not intellectually weak, I am certainly judgemental - just as you are. Self congratulatory? No, simply honest. I lost custody of a child because of choosing to do fetish modeling. I don't congratulate myself for it - I know that it took a form of strength to say "there is nothing wrong with this and I will not pretend that there is." Others will debate that it was foolish of me, but I don't believe in lying - I could not say "no, I won't do this again" because I knew I would. I pay the price for living an alternate lifestyle every day.
Thankfully, I don't condemn others and call them names with the kind of bitterness and venom that you seem to have just because someone's opinion differs from yours.
~E
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