|
curiousexplorer -> RE: Vanilla = Weak?! (5/18/2007 2:57:50 PM)
|
"See, this is how I'd interpret that, too. That "vanilla is weak" means "vanilla is boring" or "vanilla is beneath me." "
Yeah, but doesn't that make the person who is saying it weak or boring? Isn't any situation only as boring as the people involved? And isn't any rut boring, no matter how kinky a rut it is?
"In another thread I said I find vanilla men to be weak and easily manipulated and that I found it hard to have respect for them. It's me .. I am guilty ... <grins>"
Was it vanilla or IQ which was the easily manipulated weakness? I can't believe that every person I've known who had strength or a mind of their own was into bdsm. However I find it very easy to believe the lower the IQ, the weaker and more easily manipulated.
"For the proverbial record .. I am not new to this "lifestyle" .. I was born into a D/s household, was raised this way, and live this way. I have never lived a vanilla lifestyle. "
Now it makes perfect sense.
But isn't this the weakness some have referred to? Simply following how one was raised?
"Choosing an alternate lifestyle takes strength. Just because you don't choose an alternate lifestyle doesn't mean you don't have that strength, but many people are "vanilla" and mainstream, middle of the road mentality because that is what they were taught to be - and they never had/never used their strength to consider the other possibilities."
Actually, looking at the profiles and posts there seem to be many unresolved psychological issues, and in some cases it appears to be these issues which form the persons kink. In these cases the alternative lifestyle is not so much of a choice, but what was taught, or compensating.
With or without unresolved psychological issues, there are profiles which claim to be raised in the lifestyle, or raised as a slave. Continuing this into adult life seems no different to those who simply follow the vanilla lifestyle or religion they were raised in?
"they believe they are superior to vanilla men because thay can 'control' another."
The ability to control another person is no big deal. It was human nature before we were humans. Some people just don't get anything out of it, others do. And some need to get something out of it, there is a weakness that needs to be overcome through the control of another.
"I'm thinking of those who claim to be Christian and do what the preacher says but have never cracked a Bible."
What's cracking the bible got to do with it? That leaves one in about the same position as those who simply swallow what the preacher offers. Cracking some history books and cross cultural studies of religion seems to be the investigation you are referring to.
"I'm not even saying that having blind faith is always weakness, or always denotes weak people."
I would say that, blind faith is a massive weakness which is easily exploited. History shows us that. Fear and ignorance are weaknesses, and since they are the foundation of blind faith, it must also be a weakness.
"I speak to people every week who have chosen to hide their interest in kink because they are afraid of what might happen if a girlfriend, or wife, or someone else found out they had it. They don't have the strength to say "this is who I am" and accept the harder path."
That's one way of looking at it. Then again giving in to ones own desires and not keeping up the established roles seems to be the easy path, not the hard one? In that way the weakness would be the slip into the kink and self indulgence. So the difficulty of the path depends entirely on how you build it.
"But to say that choosing to live an alternate lifestyle does not take strength is to blind yourself to the reality of modern society. "
What age are you referring to? Teens and early 20's the strength can be not choosing an altenrative lifestyle. In those years it is very easy to rebel and try alternative things, or be pushed into them by/with friends.
And what aboput someone raised in an alternative lifestyle? Does it take strength for them to choose the same alternative lifestyle, or a mainstream one?
"I lost custody of a child because of choosing to do fetish modeling. I don't congratulate myself for it - I know that it took a form of strength to say "there is nothing wrong with this and I will not pretend that there is." Others will debate that it was foolish of me, but I don't believe in lying - I could not say "no, I won't do this again" because I knew I would."
I wouldn't call this a strength. It was your choice, but I'm sure there are many people who would see giving up ones desires for ones children as a strength. Many parents (mothers especially) do give up their work to care for their kids. Self sacrifice is a strength.
"To me D/s isn't about sex .. it isn't about getting "turned on" .. it's about control. The turn-on is the control."
Help me out here? D/s isn't about sex or getting turned on, it's about control. The turn on is the control? I'm not following? To me that says D/s is all about sex because the turn on is the control of D/s?
|
|
|
|
