RE: "Under Consideration"

RE: "Under Consideration" (Full Version)

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BoiJen -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:13:27 PM)
I guess that's where my approach comes in differently. I don't expect to approached by a Dominant. Ever. It's my job to come to them...and I'm only gonna come to them after I've "examined" the traits that I value...make sense?

slavegirljoy -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:13:35 PM)
i agree that dating implies a romantic involvement, and that isn't necessarily the case in a Master/slave relationship and that "under consideration", has very little connection to dating at all. In fact, from my perspective it has absolutely nothing to do with anything remotely similar to dating. i didn't date my Master while i was "under consideration" by Him to become His slave. He and i don't have anything remotely similar to a romantic involvement. i wasn't looking for romance or love or to be a man's girlfriend, etc. i was looking to be owned by a Master on a 24/7 basis and i posted my profile and what i was searching for on CM and another web site. i was contacted by interested Masters on both sites and i was in communication with some of them, when i began communicating with my current Master. After some emails and phone calls, W/we decided that there was a good chance that W/we would be a good fit for each other and W/we would continue to advance in the process of getting to know each other, leading eventually to meeting in person. It was at this point that my (now) Master decided to declare me to be "under consideration" to become His property and to have me concentrate on Him and only Him. i sent emails to all the others i had been communicating with to let them know this change in my situation. i remained "under consideration" by my Master until W/we met and He took ownership of me. i don't see this phase of O/our relationship as anything even close to "dating". Fact is, not every aspect of D/s or M/s needs to be or can be related to a vanilla relationship. However, i am far from being just a "domestic servant". slave joy Owned property of Master David quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit Well, for one, dating tends to imply romantic involvement and that isnt always the case when it comes to service based relationships. I make the analogy to it being dating, because for me and what I want, it essentially is. We're on a very vanilla level and the authority transfer is on a very casual level. I am in that stage at the moment with someone and its not very different from dating. I might have a task that I am not asking her, but telling her to see how she reacts or have a simple little protocol to see how enthusiatic she is, how well she keeps up with it, how often I have to correct her, and how motivated she is in being sucessful of the requirement. I'm testing the water and getting an idea of what I am in for and how compatible we are for a relationship. However, some people I have met, when they say "under consideration", it has very little connection to dating at all. Essentially, the person is being considered for how suitable they will be as a domestic servant in the person's household.

dawntreader -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:16:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think my approach to the lifestyle is probably different than most. I consider myself reality-based. My life is full, kink and submission is one part of it, but not always the most important part. That is one reason why I'd prefer to have a relationship first, without having to worry about collars and protocols. I've always been more of a "let things develop as they are meant to (or not meant to)" without forcing things or contriving artificial means to hold on to them. That's how I think, and I know that's not the usual throught process. But I sort of pride myself in being different. [;)] Katylied, You should pride yourself on being different :-) And because i am different too from who i was before i entered this realm, i chose to use a word that distinguishes that difference to me. And for me, it is not a one way street...we are both in consideration of each other and it is because we have already established trust that we have even reached this point~

softness -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:22:24 PM)
in reply to BoiJen well even in that case ... do you honestly believe that the traits you see in a D under initial examination are as honest as the ones revealed under more intimate situations? A a relationship deepens, do you not see things which you did not see before? should those traits not be examined just as carefully as those you saw before you approached them? also .. what exactly do you mean by approach? ... because that can mean anything from opening private communication to begging to serve

BoiJen -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:24:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness well even in that case ... do you honestly believe that the traits you see in a D under initial examination are as honest as the ones revealed under more intimate situations? A a relationship deepens, do you not see things which you did not see before? should those traits not be examined just as carefully as those you saw before you approached them? also .. what exactly do you mean by approach? ... because that can mean anything from opening private communication to begging to serve Well I for one am not going to beg to serve a complete stranger. Approaching for simple play at a public party is at one's own risk...whatever. We're atlking relationships here...romantic or not we're all adults and get teh chance to say hey I wanna take a little longer before putting on your collar or collaring you(pending on who you are). We also get the choice to back otu whenever we want...again we're all adults right?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:47:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen We're atlking relationships here...romantic or not we're all adults and get teh chance to say hey I wanna take a little longer before putting on your collar or collaring you(pending on who you are). We also get the choice to back otu whenever we want...again we're all adults right? Yes but this seems to contradict your prior statement that the only one with something to prove is the sub. Here it seems like you are essentially saying that both people need to get to know and assess eachother over time to see whether they will be a good fit. Your prior statement was much more on the line of "only the sub needs to do any work in terms of getting to know the dom." IMO no one has anything to prove. They simply are who they are and if they fit well together over time, you both decide to go whereever it is you want to go.

KatyLied -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:52:15 PM)
quote: They simply are who they are and if they fit well together over time, you both decide to go whereever it is you want to go. This is more in keeping with how I feel about the growth of relationships. There are things you can't know about a person immediately. Over time and with increased intimacy things will come to light, sometimes good things, sometimes 'oh fuck no' things.

MadRabbit -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 12:58:46 PM)
I have noticed this romantic idea floating about when it comes to the concept of "Under Consideration" that the dominant is the one who has to prove himself to earn the slave/sub's submission. While I somewhat agree with this, I find the reality to be quite different since they are kind of taking the approach that what they offer is necessarily what I want. Personally, I dont buy buy cars without popping open the hood and checking out the engine.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 2:31:32 PM)
'Consideration' goes both ways. I consider you, you consdier me, we consider eachother. Yet, we both might be considering 12 other people, not just eachother. 'under consideration' is a such a vague and bad term, its best to use something more exact and to the point, inotherwords, be blunt, don't beat around the bush. If you are in a relationships, state so, if you are not avaliable, state 'not avaliable.' It makes sence AND it leaves little room for trolls to point out the vagueness or wishy-washyness.

DominaSmartass -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 2:33:34 PM)
I think it could mean absolutely nothing or it could mean very much, it just depends on the parties involved. All these different levels of collars do get kind of silly sometimes but if they actually have meaning to the people who give and wear themand are not just "for show" then I think to deny their meaning is impossible. I was once collared to someone and it was sort of a "consideration" thing I guess. It only took about 2 weeks of knowing each other before he gave it to me but in the end I decided I wasn't cut out to be a sub to him or anyone else and I ended the relationship. Would things have been any different if it were a "permanent" collar than if it were a "training" or "consideration" collar? I doubt it. I still would have gotten to the point where the relationship wasn't right for me and I would have withdrawn my participation. So to me, there's no real difference between a collar of _____ and a collar or _______ because really in the end, nothing is any more permanent than the people in the relationship want it to be.

LadyHugs -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 3:51:45 PM)
Dear KatyLied, Ladies and Gentlemen; You wrote that you consider yourself reality based, as to imply those who practice more tidy protocol, organization and or ritual are not. It is fact, that a sense of reality is still a matter of perception. Many of those who read the forums are very reality based. The reality manifests when those who invest the time, the energy and the pace which works for them, with or without protocol -- have very successful and long term relationships. That said, protocol means -- procedure, code of behavior, set of rules, practice and or modus operandi. Person's set of rules--even others, you and I, really do have what protocol defines as it deals in relationships. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

KatyLied -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 5:57:33 PM)
quote: You wrote that you consider yourself reality based, as to imply those who practice more tidy protocol, organization and or ritual are not. I have not problem with protocol as long as people don't push it on me. The third person, slashy stuff, protection collars, I'm not into any of that. I think that some people who practice certain things definitely are not based in reality. Some people would think that because I don't subscribe to certain protocols that I'm not a sub. It doesn't bother me what others think, I know where I fit.

MellowSir -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 5:59:22 PM)
It means I want to see what I can get out of you before I have to make up my mind as to whether or not I keep you lol

Darlin4Daddy -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/16/2007 7:39:31 PM)
(Pardon me I dont do that whole internet capital thing) I agree with the people that stated, that it means different things to different people. I do not "need protction" from anyone that is mean or verbally abusive, nor do I require aid in confronting those who act beneath contempt. I can even deal with physical threats to my person as they do happen on the rare occasion by those that would be better served being in prison than out in society. But...Heres the rub...Being an "open minded" community and lifestyle I don't think there is a pre-set wording or phrasing, I think if the two parties are considering being together, that should very well be respected and noted. I will give an example: After a number of polite thank you but no thank you's... I had exhausted any resources for politely saying no... I had no other alternative than to ask a Dominant that I will be shortly meting for His aid in how I can more effectively word my polite refusal. He simply said that we are considering being together as we have many things in common thereby he said if I wished I may place those very words within another polite reply as it is in fact the truth. We ARE considering many things together if it works out...Brilliant we are happy...If it does not we have a wonderful friendship... But...We ARE considering and it is only a polite way of saying..Hey I found someone I think is a good match for me. I don't see anything particularly wrong with that and generally speaking people will wish you well trying it with someone new. So..I did..ANd the man replied with well wishes and wanting to remain on good terms for the occasional hello how are you, and nothing more.. It was an act of respect... To be polite to him, and then for him to be polite to me in return, even if we are only "under consideration". Please undestand that it is a brave thing anyone Dom or sub does to meet someone new, it takes courage to open yourself up and when people express themselves it is a personal expression, it is not "bullshit" or "stupid" it is to be taken seriously just as ANYONE wishes to be taken seriously. Some of the mean spirited replies and mockery were in bad taste..YOUR way isnt THE way... Open....Thats a HUGE word in this community and is represented so badly sometimes.... It makes me sad that this has changed so severely over the years....It makes our community look bad... I wish that everyone could simply just be a little kinder to eachother... No one likes to be mocked or have THEIR ideas or thoughts or questions mocked... So some of the replies made no sense... There is a nicer way to say that one does not agree with the phrase or what it stands for or does not stand for in their OPINION... Sad how it has to come down to mockery and bad mouthing.... I'll probably catch a lot of flack but I don't care...Im used to it...

robertolapiedra -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 2:04:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub What does the phrase "under consideration" mean to Y/you? Do Y/you think it's like an engagement ring for a collar? How should the P/parties involved deal with third persons who don't know about the "under consideration" O/other? Is "under consideration" a two way street between the Dom/me and the subbie or slave? Hello pinksugarsub. I have read all the posts up to now (4 pages!). The historical, contemporary, 'means nothing' (but don't push this on me!), dom thinghie, sub thingie, one way, two way, protection etc.etc. To ME, it means to 'consider' someone for something. Match the one (evaluate, get to know, see how I/you feel about this/that) to the thing (whathever is the/your/his/her/our thing) 'et voilà!'. And all this with or without protocals or symbolic 'processes', real and/or imagined 'promotion', change of 'status', elitism, mainstream and just plain ordinary if not exceptional , blatantly secretive or discreetly public expression of the fact that you may or may not be going out (or kept in ?) with someone you yourself may be considering (or not, if for you it is a one way street) for a relationship. I can tell you it used to mean something, but today it just means everything and nothing depending on wimsy, movies, internet, DIY and fiction books, and the gross national product of Iceland! RL.

DocTSH -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 3:42:00 AM)
While the phrase doesnt mean a whole lot to me, it seems from the person stating it, it does. I would venture to guess it is an egocentric value. I would never demand someone to put it in their profile. I never required my little girl to add owned to her profile, she chose to do that simply for clarification for like minded others.

MadRabbit -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 3:45:34 AM)
I like to think that I practice reality based protocol. No "Once a day you will dress in a sexy French maid outfit and vaccuum my floor while I flog you from my leather recliner" here.

robertolapiedra -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 12:04:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I like to think that I practice reality based protocol. No "Once a day you will dress in a sexy French maid outfit and vaccuum my floor while I flog you from my leather recliner" here. Hello MadRabbit. Reality based?!! lowcut tight jeans, tongs, piercings and slutty attitudes? Reality! what a concept! You bad, man! RL.

CreativeDominant -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 3:32:51 PM)
Let me chime in with what others have stated along the lines of "under consideration" meaning that both people are now looking more closely at each other, that they may now have moved...as someone noted...from dating to almost a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship but within the D/s dynamic. It is for the submissive to consider the dominant as well as for the dominant to consider the dominant...getting to know each other better, perhaps moving to a more exclusive nature...progressing. Ritual and protocol are what you make of them. Some D/s people love it...others do not. There are aspects that I like and aspects that I do not. I tend to go for the ones that...in MOO...make the most sense for the way I like to do things. One protocol I insist on is open communication but with courtesy. To some, that may seem unrealistic...to others, hopelessly old-fashioned...to me, entirely do-able.

DominaSmartass -> RE: "Under Consideration" (5/17/2007 4:40:48 PM)
quote: And finally, considering a Dominant...hmmm...well frankly the person who has something to prove is the submissive. I know this isn't really the topic of the thread but I just had to point out my disagreement with this one. Having been on both sides of the slash, I can say equally from both sides that each party has to prove to the other that they are worthy of being someone's master, slave, dom, or sub. In fact, I think it often gets emphasized in precisely the opposite direction that you have done above (i.e. that the dom is the one who must "prove" something.) Well, the fact of human relationships is that we are always showing ourselves to the other (hopefully showing our true/honest selves) and that if someone doesn't feel the other partner is worth their time and energy they will soon leave.

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