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For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 6:08:02 AM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		I made it to the bottom of a thread. And... I'm curious. It brought up an intresting concept about "this" lifestyle. The pointing of fingers. The "norm." The acceptable and the not acceptable. I wonder how many of those who believe in BDSM realize that we are each unique. I have read subs say that a Master is fake because they humiliate in their first email to the sub. While I do not pratice this action, some subs desire this. I have read that some people claim urinating in public or any action thereof is unacceptable. Once again, this is not my pratice, yet I believe there are those who should not be ashamed to do so.

We tolerate. We accept because our lifestyle permits us to do so. This lifestyle is about adventure and testing singular boundries for specific peoples. Some may choose multiple partners, slaves, subs, or Masters. Some may be difficult to handle, some more passive. I urge you all to be careful what ground you tread on with others. We have a right to own our actions, and remember that when you make an ass out of yourself, you own that action. Others will see, others will notice.

We do not sugar coat our ideas and beliefs. But, we must be careful of those and respectable of those around us. For any of which who disagree, enjoy that right. But, you may find others who are more serious about the lifestyle ignoring or even insulting you for your acts of ignorance.

~Brickland
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 7:19:53 AM   
Kindred2Evil


Posts: 227
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline 		It's human nature to condemn that which we know nothing about. I get razzed alot for being into edge play, several emails on how dangerous it is, how people can die from it. Fourteen years doing what I do and I've not killed anyone, yet still I'm condemned for my desires.
You would think that within this community tolerance would be higher, after all, are we not all into something somebody else thinks is strange?
My philosophy is don't knock it till you try it, and if it's not for you, just shut the hell up about it.
It's a shame when these things happen, you'd think a group of kinks would be more accepting of our differences......

_____________________________

Her touch is on the breeze that brushes your cheek, Her voice rides the thunder as the storm breaks, Her tears will clean your heartache when the rains come, Her sun will light the darkest times when you feel alone...She is the Goddess.

(in reply to haloscorned)
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RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 7:29:25 AM   
BobcatsLilMinx


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		A wee bit reluctant to reply to this post, in case I have inadvertently behaved in that way... One of the most embarrassing things someone can do is stand there and emphatically agree and side with an opinion that clearly is about them, as much as anyone else.
But I will say, haloscorned is right. We all have our opinions, and sometimes when we feel strongly about something, we forget to respect other peoples different opinions, and we forget to be tolerant.

Thank you for the reminder, halo.

Very Humble Minx

(in reply to Kindred2Evil)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 9:03:54 AM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		Good replies. Thank you for taking the time to post. It is our nature to do things that please us. We would be wise to remember that others do this also. We own our bodies until we die. We choose to use them in any way we deem fit. For our own benifets, only we decide what is right to do with them.

Most people who respond in a negative way, do so out of fear and ignorance. If something is not for you, we ususally just walk past. But, when we see someone pleasing themselves in a way that we do not agree, if we are negative, usually it is out of fear and ignorance. Now, I am not speaking of unwilling parties. If a man pleases himself by raping an unwilling woman, that is criminal. Not pleasurable.

But, if you witness something that you do not like; that is the real world. Not a crime. Those who want to watch a public display, will. If your children see something like this, be a better parent. Do not take them into places where they will view this. Mardi Gras. Things of that nature. I'll never forget when I was a young boy and a group of teenagers passed us on the highway. One young man pulled down his pants and proceeded to place his ass against the window.

Now, I was a child. But, life happens. His goal was to shock a family on the highway. To impress his friends. Maybe he was intoxicated and did it for the thrill. Any number of these things may have happened. The point is, to what extreme do we share this planet?

The answer? We rub elbows. We tolerate. If you are uncomfortable, you move your position until you are.

I have a large tattoo on my right forearm. It is of a woman holding a bullwhip and leather handcuffs. She is scantly clad in a teddy with a coy smile. While walking through the local grocery store, mothers pull their child away from me when the child points and asks why I have drawn on my arm. I do not wear long sleeves. I do not cover them while in public places. It is a symbol of who I am. A mark of how I live. What I believe.

Next thing you know, we'll have a group of kinky people from this forum running around pulling off bumper stickers and beating up the missionaries that show up on their doorstep. If I can tolerate my television being overrun by religious services in the early morning, you can tolerate my tattoo and lifestyle.

That simple. Period. End of sentence.

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 9:09:02 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Extremely excellent post - there is another current thread in the forum here that is similar - you might wish to peruse!

Thank you!

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to haloscorned)
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RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 9:16:56 AM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		You are correct. I just found the thread which I believe you were speaking of. This was my mistake. Once I browse through them, more keep popping up. I apologize for reposting the same topic. Thank you for your insight in my posting.

~Brickland

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 9:24:13 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Please do not misunderstand me - I actually think (IMO) that your thread is a wonderous thread on its own right - I though your words are articulate and I thank you for your candid thoughts. I just wanted to offer you the other thread, in case you had missed - and please - keep posting! Your words are refreshing.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to haloscorned)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 10:14:48 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		The most viscious attacks I have seen on fellow practioners has been on a Christian message board. If you did not subscribe to their particular belief structure you were a Pharisee. Basically anything but a white man. You were flamed mercilessly. You were even censored by the mods and/or banned if you so much as mentioned a submissive man or a Dominatrix.

The focus of these nerds was to package everyone in this nice little wooden box of rules. They wanted to apply the Bible to everything and make everyone conform to their crippling list of rules, from everything from sex to masturbation to marriage to dating. There was NO acceptance of people with other ideals.

The thing I like about this board is that everyone is united under one common banner. For the most part it is a free-for-all of ideas and an acceptance of the next person. Here Y/you are welcome no matter what Y/your kink.

Please, I like it here. I feel safe here. Accepted. Do not change a thing.




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 5/12/2005 10:15:58 AM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 2:06:35 PM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		Sirkenin,

I certainly hope that CM has no intention of changing. It is a very safe place to share our ideas and beliefs. Thank you for responding to my post.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/12/2005 8:07:50 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		To a point I agree with you haloscorned, but some degree of restraint is in order depending on the situation and the particular "act" at the time.

Many of the threads I agree have way too much drama and way too much "finger pointing", but being tolerant is somewhat different than just letting it slide. I don't give a rats ass about "normal", but I do care about public opinion with regards to the lifestyle. The urinating in public was I assume an extreme example...but "public" is the active word here...it isn't acceptable despite your lifestyle choices, if it's truely in a wide open, clear to the view of all..public. Discretion is a valued asset, as an "in your face" approach will only bring negative sentement. It's as bad as what the news does to us if someone is found slain in what appears to be a "typical bondage for fun" situation. You also hear the media throw Sadist and Masochist around like they are household words..hell most "nilla" folks can't tell you the difference...even though they try feebly to utilize those words in a sentence...lol. So no...I agree that there probably is no "norm", but some choices need to be made in many cases.

I as well have what would be considered rather explicit tats, but I do attempt to not offend anyone if I can avoid it. It also is who I am, but I am so much more than that. I prefer to not shock, I would prefer to educate given the option. Sure, it can't always be avoided and I'm certainly not trying to protect the world..but again..descretion is the better point of valor sometimes.

As for the intros that attempt to humiliate with the first e-mail...yes, there is the possibility that some (no way will I attempt a percentage, I would be crucified..lol) may in fact like this approach, but I would assume it is the minority. It may be more prudent to get to know someone before trying to interact with them in this fashion. I would not attempt to scene with someone without knowing them and certainly wouldn't attempt to scene with them by just walking up and start flogging on them...in a way this is similar in principle. So food for thought, perhaps humiliating e-mails are in reality, not consensual, it may have nothing to do with proper. I would have to think starting off polite might be a better choice, no matter what your role is.

Yes..we certainly as a group are unique and each unique unto ourselves. Yes, we should be tolerant and I have to believe the vast majority are. Yes, some come across like "their" way is the only way and I have to feel if they had time to think about some of their comments, perhaps they would have taken a different stance, but again, that is also their perogative. In some cases, I have seen flame wars settle, then the answers to the original questions come out loud and clear despite it all...alas, not always. But even though we have a right to our own actions, and I agree we don't necessarily have to sugar coat as you say... but we do have a responsibility to put ourselves in a favorable light, even amongst our peers to a point. Sure, those who are offended could walk away, but do we really want to drive everyone away and leave ourselves the outcasts? I think not. Of course if this is in a BDSM environment such as a play party or such, I agree, they need to just remove themselves if it's offensive. Many can't deal with extremes, in those situations, I agree, don't condemn, it is their choice, not yours, keep your opinions to yourself and sidle off to the next scene. As for in the "nilla" world though, I personally would like to find that key of presentation that could bring those not in the lifestyle to the level where they wanted to ask questions, to learn, to understand...but aquiring the skill reach that point and not run them off is a very lofty goal.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to haloscorned)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 2:43:55 AM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		Scooter,

Very intelligent post. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. I reread it twice to absorb everything you were trying to say. (Also, the television was on and I was being distracted.) You are correct, I was taking the ideas to the extreme. There are also those of us who do not tolerate those around us and we force them to digest our beliefs. If we are seeking to do explicit things in public, there is a correct audience. And, an incorrect one.

I wouldn't suggest public displays of affection in the latest Walt Disney movie in theaters. But, something rated R or down at the local adult theater might be more acceptable. Sometimes, by bringing your mate, you may recieve free admission.

As far as the pissing in public goes... Well, the point is that we were all also born with brains. We should use our judgement. And, sometimes the wiser judgement of others. I agree with those who are doing it for the thrill of getting caught. Not the attempt to violate the rights of others to not view your actions. Fine lines all around.

And, a few shades of grey. Thanks for the post Scooter!

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 6:30:53 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

The most viscious attacks I have seen on fellow practioners has been on a Christian message board. If you did not subscribe to their particular belief structure you were a Pharisee. Basically anything but a white man. You were flamed mercilessly. You were even censored by the mods and/or banned if you so much as mentioned a submissive man or a Dominatrix.

The focus of these nerds was to package everyone in this nice little wooden box of rules. They wanted to apply the Bible to everything and make everyone conform to their crippling list of rules, from everything from sex to masturbation to marriage to dating. There was NO acceptance of people with other ideals.

The thing I like about this board is that everyone is united under one common banner. For the most part it is a free-for-all of ideas and an acceptance of the next person. Here Y/you are welcome no matter what Y/your kink.


Why am I not surprised by this? Before anyone flames me for being anti-Christian, I believe that extremists in ANY religion are the source of most of this world's problems. Intolerance is a main theme of religious extremists.

quote:


Please, I like it here. I feel safe here. Accepted. Do not change a thing.



Even though you are strange SirKenin? <BIG wink> I share your sentiments.

cello

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 7:34:03 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK]Why am I not surprised by this? Before anyone flames me for being anti-Christian, I believe that extremists in ANY religion are the source of most of this world's problems. Intolerance is a main theme of religious extremists


I am not anti-Christian and I feel the same way.

quote:

Even though you are strange SirKenin?


Awwwww. she luvs Me... she remembered. *sigh*

lol

Yes, it is a great board. I have learned a lot since I joined.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 10:58:38 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I am not anti-Christian and I feel the same way.



GMTA

quote:


Awwwww. she luvs Me... she remembered. *sigh*



MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 11:11:12 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Why am I not surprised by this? Before anyone flames me for being anti-Christian, I believe that extremists in ANY religion are the source of most of this world's problems. Intolerance is a main theme of religious extremists.


Amen to that

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 4:38:02 PM   
haloscorned


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		You are all most entertaining!

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/13/2005 4:44:58 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: haloscorned

As far as the pissing in public goes... Well, the point is that we were all also born with brains. We should use our judgement. And, sometimes the wiser judgement of others.




Ahhh.....if only it were that simple.........*smile*. Unfortunately if good judgement and brains were used more freely and wisely, they wouldn't have to put directions on the shampoo bottle.

Be well and play safe,

harmony

(in reply to haloscorned)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: For the angry masses... - 5/14/2005 2:57:15 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting thread, and I loved ScooterTrash's response (even though i get boogle-eyed reading all that bold stuff :p

Just wanted to add that if we're posting on a public forum, we have to expect that people will feel free to comment on the practices we're posting about. So some degree of what looks like criticism is inevitable.

~ Elektra

(in reply to harmony3709)
Profile   Post #: 18
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