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Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 12:54:46 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		I have been in a D/s relationship for the most part of  4 years. Recently due to  some unprepared for circumstances. I, the sub, released my Dom. I realized almost immediately after, that it was not the answer. I have sent him many phone messges and emails trying to explain myself and have asked for forgiveness. And a chance to start again if he see fits. I have had no response. I'm not sure if he just needs more time as I'm sure he is dealing with pain  or is extremely annoyed that I as a submissive released Him. I don't really think it is that at all. I'm in limbo right now. I need a new beginning or closure so that I can go on. I don't know if I should continue to try and contact him, is this annoying him more or should I just show up and see what happens. Andy feedback would be greatly appreciated.

< Message edited by hiddendesires2 -- 5/17/2007 12:57:47 PM >
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 12:55:58 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		As many times as I read this over and over, 4 hours should be 4 years
.

Thank you

< Message edited by hiddendesires2 -- 5/17/2007 1:00:04 PM >

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:00:37 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		You where the one to release him after 4 hours and you want closure?  Get over it!

Mike


(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:01:56 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I would take his non response as a response.  Four years is a long time and I'm guessing if you stepped away from the relationship there must have been a good reason.  Perhaps he thinks the reason you gave is good.
You will not always be able to depend on others to give you closure.  Find a ritual or way of saying goodbye and allow that to be your closure.  Life isn't always nice and tidy, sometimes things happen that can't be fixed.
Good luck with whatever happens.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:02:46 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		I am confused. Was the length of the D/s relationship 4 years or 4 hours? Also what was your reason for severing your relationship?

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:03:47 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		Re read the post. Thank for your understanding

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:05:45 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		It was 4 years. There was some miscommunication along with some depression issues I was facing.

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:17:06 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I agree that you have to deal with not having closure a lot in life so that's something you do on your own.

As well, you were the one to make it closed- now you are trying to re-open it.  It's not fair or realistic to now expect HIM to give YOU closure.

Finally, not knowing why you made the choice you did or why you changed your mind on it, one would hope you see the issue and can try and not do it next time.

Take the non-response as a response.  He knows what you want and what you are open to, if he wants to respond, he will when he's ready.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:19:42 PM   
hiddendesires2


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not expecting closure from him. I know that is to come from me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:21:18 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		You made the choice to sever the relationship and now you have second thoughts. Well he may not want to start again. He is probably hurt and confused and maybe his no response is what response he wants to give you. It might be his way of saying no.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 1:36:17 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiddendesires2

I'm not expecting closure from him. I know that is to come from me.


yeah, no kidding...you want him to forget you dropped him and take you back.  get over yourself and move on

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 2:00:23 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		You made a mistake. Unfortunately you now have to live with that mistake. I think KatyLied is right. Take his non-response as his response. You never know, if you let things settle for a little bit and then come back to it, he may just talk to you.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 2:07:48 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Now that I know you ment 4 years.  I have to say that all your repeated contacts would do is piss me off.  You are getting an answer,  that is he does not want anything to do with you.  You need to move on, before he starts to think of you as a stalker.

Mike


(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 3:43:49 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I am confused. Was the length of the D/s relationship 4 years or 4 hours? Also what was your reason for severing your relationship?


it was in D/s years, where every hour seems like a year.....

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:11:16 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I am confused. Was the length of the D/s relationship 4 years or 4 hours? Also what was your reason for severing your relationship?


it was in D/s years, where every hour seems like a year.....


Funny.  I find my years passing like hours.  Where does the time go?

(in reply to Faramir)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:13:42 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello hiddendesires. I see that you are asking "ask a master" for how to get back with a master after you put an end to the relationship? I really don't think there is that much 'expertise' in that department in 'this' forum. The only feedback you are going to get is to 'move on'.

Now, there may be a few subs that have experience in getting back with estranged doms, why don't you ask them? RL.

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:20:11 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		Had He been the one releasing you, i think there would be some possibility of perhaps beginning again with enough begging etc. But, my dear, do yourself a favor and try to at least comprehend to some small degree, the Dominant personality. Ownership cannot be taken lightly. It sounds to me like He didn't take it lightly at all and you broke the bond. i honestly don't know how that can be repaired. If you regret your decision, learn from it and live with it. Even if He did accept you back, the trust has been damaged.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:24:54 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		A while back, in my vanilla life, I was in a relationship that lasted almost a year - not a long time in the "real world", but I was in college and it was a pretty damn long time under those circumstances. The latter half of the relationship was a downhill slide with both of us clinging to the familiar and comfortable for dear life... and during our summer break, I tried to end it. After three hours of her persuading, wheedling, and outright begging me, I finally relented and didn't dump her ass to the curb.

The day before school started back up, when I was moving in, we met up again (for the first time since I'd gone to see her over the break), and went to different parties. I took a nap on the couch in her dorm, and she woke me up to tell me that it was over, but that it didn't mean we had to sleep in separate beds that night.

I imagine your former dom has been feeling a bit like I felt at that moment. Hurt, devalued, and very much wanting to completely sever any ties he has to you. If he really wants to contact you, he will. So, my advice to you is to let it die and move on. You've made your bed; lie in it.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to hiddendesires2)
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RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:35:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra
Hello hiddendesires. I see that you are asking "ask a master" for how to get back with a master after you put an end to the relationship? I really don't think there is that much 'expertise' in that department in 'this' forum. The only feedback you are going to get is to 'move on'.

If you hadn't noticed, almost half the responses have been from non-dominants.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Some help and advice please. - 5/17/2007 4:39:18 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'll also add that reconnected relationships almost never work. The reality is that you can apologize, but what has happened won't go away.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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