stella40
Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Faramir
Ok maybe, just maybe, I was a teensy bit over the top in my characterization. Maybe.
But you obviosuly got some kind of axe here to grind. How about, instead of all this crazy "Do most people find Doms have the same traits as socipaths?," could you just talk about your dissapointments or experiences without characterizing an entire gender or sexual orientation as evil?
Ah, thank you. You want me to talk about my disappointments or experiences without characterizing an entire gender or sexual orientation as evil?
No I can't. Why? Because when it comes down to my experiences I haven't really had any bad experiences or disappointments.
All of my relationships with my Dominants have been positive, half still have some sort of contact with me, through them I've met a lot of other people - men and women - in the community, not just here in the UK but also when I was living in Poland where I became involved in a BDSM community that came out into the open after many years of hiding from a communist regime and the Catholic Church.
Okay I may have an axe to grind, but it isn't about men. I'm not a man hater or someone who hates anyone - my life's too short and I don't have the will or the energy to go around hating people. There's plenty of other people around to do that and they do it much better than I ever could.
With reference to my other thread I'm working on a new stage play about BDSM. I want what is in the play to be an accurate portrayal. Put the subject of BDSM into the hands of the entertainment industry and you'll probably end up with something seedy, sleazy and twisted which shows BDSM in a negative light. Go for any cop show on TV for example, it's always the criminal who is into BDSM, or the victim of a crime. Why can't it ever be the cop? But then again I'm not going to be like Nancy Meyer and come up with something romanticized and yucky. I want to show it as it really is and let my audiences work it out for themselves.
But my relationships have been with female Dominants, and good female Dominants and I have never been in a relationship with a male Dominant. The male Dominants I have met in the community have all been just like my former Mistresses, decent, sane, positive people. Therefore to put it very bluntly I myself don't see the typical Dom as a sociopath.
But I've been connected with BDSM all my adult life, and I can see that there are such people who think BDSM is a good community to get into for them to get their kicks or whatever else they want or have in mind. In my experience you find them mainly online or in chatrooms and unfortunately most of them are male. I write here unfortunately because they make things difficult for everyone, including all the decent male Dominants and submissives (including you) who are involved in the community. I know they are online, but not ever having any experience of them in real time all I wanted to know is if they ever get the chance to get real, with who and in what situation. People who have responded by posting with their experiences are helping me to build a more accurate picture.
I'm not the first to bring these issues up and be sure I'm not going to be the last. But I wouldn't call it bitching or carping. I've deleted profiles on other BDSM websites and stopped posting because I prefer to do it on Collarme. Why? I actually happen to like the website and the people who are here using Collarme, I found my Dominant here on Collarme, and have several positive online friendships with others, including male and female Dominants and submissives which came out of being on this website.
I contribute and read these postings as a form of amusement, but also to learn and to get to know about other people and their experiences. I may have 22 years of experience but this doesn't mean I know it all, I don't. I would never claim that I do. There's still room to learn and get to know more, and this is why I'm here, no doubt just like you, and not to put other people down.
I wish you well.
_____________________________
I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)
If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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RE: Why does this continue? - 
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