How many subs base the best DOM on his income?

How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (Full Version)

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infyniti -> How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 5:17:27 AM)
This is something I never thought of until Master and I had a long talk. We live in the New England area but possibly believe it could be more widespread than we all would like to admit. Is there alot of female submissives who are looking for the Dom of their dreams if He will be the one to get them out of their apartment and into a house, if He will be the one to make them leave the job that they already hate and stay home and only serve him? If HE will be the one who will get them off Social Services? Feed their children? Basically are many looking for the Financial DOM? All in return for the great gift of submission? I have talked to many submissive females who fall into this role. Master had dated many submissives and MANY of them fell into this category. When I met Master, I not only had one job, I also had 2 part time jobs to keep up with the mortgage, and pay for my daugther's education. I never thought of quitting my jobs, nor did i ever expect him to support me financially. Many times we went to dinner, and I would buy 1/2 of them after we were dating abit. I knew he too had bills, and apartment etc. It just makes me wonder when I run into someone who thinks that being a submissive is a ticket to financial freedom. Years back, Master met a submissive online, took her to dinner, took her to his place, played with her abit, had sex. After about 30 mins she began to explain how after her divorce she had moved back in with her parents etc. How she would like to move in with him and she could clean and cook, do laundry and live with him.....Oh yeah, she was in her mid 30's with no income( with 2 kids living with her ex) She knew Master had a professional job, good income. What do some ppl think? Submission is something we feel in our souls, not our wallets. The gift of submission is one that should be cherished but not one that comes with a price tag, or social upscaling. Do others run into this also? BTW... after Master and i married.... we sold my former home, bought a new home with a SMALLER mortgage, my daugther has graduated from college, i gave up my 2 part time jobs, to this day, i refuse to give up my job. I never want to feel that my submission as ANYTHING to do with income. Submission is something that comes with NO strings attached. peace out infyniti

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 5:45:24 AM)
The scene is filled with subs looking for their dom in shining armor to take care of them and not have to worry about anything again, including money. For me, I need a competent responsible adult as a partner. While this doesn't mean they have to be Donald Trump, it does mean that they should have stability and be able to support themselves on a reasonable/comfortable level, or be in school and excelling. Most of us if given the choice between our dream partner as poor and our dream partner as rich would prefer the rich, and that makes sense to me. It's not about love or gifts, its about living in the real world and having to understand those issues.

slave4mzpatti -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 7:26:48 AM)
It takes all kinds. Being in this lifestyle is all about doing what makes us happy.If there are some who are happy taking a sub to stay at home and does not need them to work good for them if thats what they want. In most of the adds I have responded to it was a prerequesit for me to work. But to each his own.

darkinshadows -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 8:16:57 AM)
I think I might as well just have the tagline 'Agrees with Emerald' from now on - it saves me a hell of a lot of typing... Lol Peace and Love

Mercnbeth -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 8:53:56 AM)
quote: What do some ppl think? some people think that it is between the parties involved how the D/s dynamic will be incorporated in their relationship. protocol, rituals, contracts, hard limits, financial matters, soft limits, opinions, poly--all things that people have different viewpoints concerning and make some people incompatible for a relationship with others. for instance, it has been mentioned by this slave's Master on these boards a few times that He does not wish for His slave to be employed, and this slave agreed to that(among other things) upon acceptance of His collar. it is our way, and works for us and this slave does not feel that ties strings to her submission anymore than your refusal to give up your job ties strings to yours. it is wonderful that you and your Master found compatibility with each other on the many levels one relates when entering into a relationship(collared, uncollared or marriage) including how the check was handled at the end of some of your initial dates. in this slave's experience, Master insisted on picking up the tab and to argue with Him would have been an exercise in futility. there are some relationships that exist where the sub/slave(s) works and the Dom(me)/Master/Owner does not--again, that is their way, why should it bug you?

slavedesires -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 9:44:12 AM)
Emerald does have a good take on this.... but i think any of us woman who are responsible and accountable for ouselves have this take. i would like to add a component to this...one i faced on Monday. Many of us in this life of ours have had the worst of luck with jobs ...for many reasons. Several decades back a person could go to work liking their job and knowing they would retire from that job and have a pension, SS and a savings to enjoy life in retirment....NOT the way of this world anymore. Even CEO's get downsized and stuck with a mortgages they only dreamed of paying in their CEO position. So many of us in our 40's have had to start over ... literally ... from scratch many times and do not have what others think we aught to have. It is NOT inconcievable that a 46 yr old man or 50 yr old woman have nothing to show for themselves materialitically in this world but who they are, their children and their own values. It is not inconceiveable that a 55 yr old man might be in a entry level postion after many years of endless jobs. The devastation emotionally for a man or woman in this postion can be unbearable ...but to say they have nothing to show for their lives? Prosperity in ones life does NOT have to be materialistic and so many others measure who we are by what we have or have not. i never expect to retire...i will die working for my monthly mortgage, the food on my table and the basic necessities of life. While my neighbor lives comfortably in retirement. So i might think or judge ! [:-] Prosperity and satisfaction in this life comes from within. Not only do woman look for men with money and but men look for women with money as well. i have heard of many a man moooching off a woman ... Dom or not. It is a condition of human behaviour.

slavedesires -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 9:48:52 AM)
may i respectfully say...i think you missed the point beth. sugar daddies or sugar mommies not how one works out the kinks in relationhips of finances or WIITTD [:-]

Mercnbeth -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 11:55:09 AM)
quote: may i respectfully say...i think you missed the point beth. deepest apologies, slavesdesires. this slave was merely trying to point out a difference in perspective......how is what this submissive from her Master's past presented to her Master/husband after dinner and casual sex to be defined as "wanting a sugar daddy"? because she wasn't paying on a mortgage and earning paychecks? the OP says this sub had no income, no paychecks-- not that she had never worked or was unwilling to work--she offered to bring things into the relationship and into his home that people get paid to do all the time(casual sex with an unlawfully committed partner, house cleaning, laundry service). if she would have offered to hold down jobs with a Madam or Pimp as one boss, Merry Maids as boss #2 and then boss #3 at the dry-cleaners for another parttime job, then she would be considered "worthy" of his consideration? so what? that's HIM and that's HER and that's what works (or doesn't) in the context of a potential or existing Dom(me)/sub or Master/slave relationship for them, why come on here ranting about it? this slave agrees with you wholeheartedly that there is a lot more to enjoying life and being content than one's financial status or lack thereof, which is all the more reason why the OP's rant seems so ironic. consider this quote: quote: to this day, i refuse to give up my job. I never want to feel that my submission as ANYTHING to do with income. Submission is something that comes with NO strings attached. so does this mean if she DID give up her job she would feel differently about her submission? what if she lost her job? does the fact that she receives a paycheck for working outside the home mean that her submission has no strings attached? if she had met a Dom who wanted her to give up her job, then there is the string right there. refusing to give one up and refusing to have one is still refusing. how does that relate to no-strings submission?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 12:28:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth some people think that it is between the parties involved how the D/s dynamic will be incorporated in their relationship. protocol, rituals, contracts, hard limits, financial matters, soft limits, opinions, poly--all things that people have different viewpoints concerning and make some people incompatible for a relationship with others. for instance, it has been mentioned by this slave's Master on these boards a few times that He does not wish for His slave to be employed, and this slave agreed to that(among other things) upon acceptance of His collar. it is our way, and works for us and this slave does not feel that ties strings to her submission anymore than your refusal to give up your job ties strings to yours. in this slave's experience, Master insisted on picking up the tab and to argue with Him would have been an exercise in futility. there are some relationships that exist where the sub/slave(s) works and the Dom(me)/Master/Owner does not--again, that is their way, why should it bug you? I agree completely.... Can't imagine anything else needs to be said other than to each his own. M

slavedesires -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 12:50:41 PM)
first of all beth, there is no need for apologies.... quote: ORIGINAL: infyniti This is something I never thought of until Master and I had a long talk. Is there alot of female submissives who are looking for the Dom of their dreams if He will be the one to get them out of their apartment and into a house, if He will be the one to make them leave the job that they already hate and stay home and only serve him? If HE will be the one who will get them off Social Services? Feed their children? Basically are many looking for the Financial DOM? All in return for the great gift of submission? I have talked to many submissive females who fall into this role. Master had dated many submissives and MANY of them fell into this category. It just makes me wonder when I run into someone who thinks that being a submissive is a ticket to financial freedom. I never want to feel that my submission as ANYTHING to do with income. Submission is something that comes with NO strings attached. peace out infyniti i interpreted these statements from infyniti as asking...... why do some subs think doms are sugar daddies???? you thought i interpreted it quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth ......how is what this submissive from her Master's past presented to her Master/husband after dinner and casual sex to be defined as "wanting a sugar daddy"? because she wasn't paying on a mortgage and earning paychecks? i merely gave another angle on this topic...subs who think that doms who are in their 40's aught to have security of job and finances and look for that in a Dom when it just isn't the way the cookie crumples all the time... so the original question stands...put differently than the original OP..... why do some subs think they will always get a dom who is so financially secure that they can quit their jobs, get off Medicaid, have financial freedom and just spend his money and play house?? in some relationships...this just cannot work. in others it will work. for most of us...i think we fit into infyniti's category ... the couple each work and are happy in who they are together so why do some woman look for sugar daddies and why do some men look for sugar mommies?? why keep it entirely in context to "this" lifestyle...it happens across the board...it is a human behaviour.

sub4hire -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 1:36:50 PM)
It clearly is more widespread. Look at all the money doms out there. Same thing just reversed. It differs from each couple. Although for me personally if my dom told me to leave the workforce so I could sit around and just take care of him all day long he would be doing me a great dis-service. Coming from my perspective. My first fiance was killed by a drunk driver when I was very young. People don't always want to leave you, circumstances beyond our control makes it so though at times. What if I am with a dom for 10 year's out of the workforce and now all of the sudden I have to go back to work? I'd have to start at the bottom of the pay scale when I did convince someone to take a chance on me. That is a dis-service to me. However, there are plenty out there wanting a free ride. So, yep I can see some asking up front before anything else. What do you do and how much money do you make? Will I have to work? I feel both parties should contribute to the relationship in whatever manner that is. If you have kids, of course to defray costs someone should be home. There are so many variables.

fourpeas -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 6:11:58 PM)
I think many people, d/s or not do this... I would also be concerned about being with someone who expected me to be a full-time slave/submissive and wasn't getting it together. I think that if someone is a good Dom, they are going to be looking out for the safety and overall well-being of their submissive. Of course they are going to want to provide now and then. Whether they buy you a condo and a Porche is one thing... When you submit, you are placing yourself literally in another's care. And while I would do that with someone who wasn't necessarily rich, it would make me concerned to place myself in the care of someone who wasn't able to take care of themselves... Does that make sense?

LaMspeach -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 6:55:33 PM)
I am single mom with kids and when I was looking for a Master/Dom, I did not base my search on if he could support me or not. I based it on Mutual wants and needs being able to be met and fulfilled.... I also feel that in order for a Dom to be able to take control over another he must be in control of himself and to me that mean having a job that allows him to be self supporting. I also feel that the tables are turned- that in order for a sub to be able to give her all she must be in control of herself. That means to me being able to take control of her life. Before I get flamed ... I know we live in the real world and things happen, people lose jobs, company down size, etc. But to just sit around and wait for someone else to take care of you weather it be Dom or a sub TO ME just mean you are a user and using the lifestyle as a way to get away with it. To each thsir own.

fourpeas -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 7:18:44 PM)
I wholeheartedly agree that until you are able to be in control of yourself and your life as a sub, you cannot give that!! that's so eloquent and well-spoken

Rayne58 -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 8:49:31 PM)
LOL I am not with Master for His money - He doesn't have any! We are both on welfare because He is disabled and I am His full time carer. I have a settlement in the bank from my ex husband but that is staying there for now as He doesn't want anything to do with it. I would love to have a part time job but Master's health varies so much from day to day that it isn't possible[&o] I was married for 23 years and helped run a farming business so didn't work outside the home apart from on a voluntary basis until I left the marriage. My computer skills are largely self taught and I don't have any paper qualifications apart from a teacher aide certificate. However what I lack in work experience I make up for in enthusiasm and willingness to learn so if anything ever happened to Master (god forbid) I like to think I could get out there and make a life for myself [:-] I was dependent on my ex for too many years and don't ever want to live like that again!

Quivver -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 9:06:29 PM)
Personally I hate money and asking for things is one of my largest hurdles. Judging someone by the size of their wallet is no different then falling in awe over their hide and forgetting what's in their soul.. Q..........

junecleaver -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/13/2005 9:39:10 PM)
quote: Submission is something that comes with NO strings attached. Perhaps your submission doesn't come with strings attached, but mine certainly does. If I give control of my life to someone, then I expect that life to be cared for both physically and emotionally. quote: Submission is something we feel in our souls, not our wallets. The gift of submission is one that should be cherished but not one that comes with a price tag, or social upscaling. I see nothing wrong with having a sugar daddy. All relationships are give and take. Sometimes that's emotional and sometimes it's financial. I don't think this woman's proposal was unreasonable--except that she proposed it after the first play date...that is a bit sketchy. But as long as both people in the relationship are getting what they need, why is there a problem? Some people enjoy providing for others and some people like to be cared for, others are a mix of both. Personally, it turns me into mooshy, submissive goo when guys buy me dinner or give me presents. It makes me feel cared for and in turn makes me want to submit. Call me perverted, but that's just me. And just as a rabbit trail and because I've been thinking of this lately... I don't always feel submissive. It's a choice that I continually make for myself. My feelings are apt to change abruptly. My submission does not/should not. It's not something I feel in my soul. It is something that is beneficial for my romantic relationships. D/s doesn't necessarily make me swoon. It gives me perspective. [/rabbit trail]

subcheryl -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/14/2005 7:56:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavedesires Many of us in this life of ours have had the worst of luck with jobs ...for many reasons. Several decades back a person could go to work liking their job and knowing they would retire from that job and have a pension, SS and a savings to enjoy life in retirment....NOT the way of this world anymore. So many of us in our 40's have had to start over ... literally ... from scratch many times and do not have what others think we aught to have. It is NOT inconcievable that a 46 yr old man or 50 yr old woman have nothing to show for themselves materialitically in this world but who they are, their children and their own values. It is not inconceiveable that a 55 yr old man might be in a entry level postion after many years of endless jobs. The devastation emotionally for a man or woman in this postion can be unbearable ...but to say they have nothing to show for their lives? Prosperity in ones life does NOT have to be materialistic and so many others measure who we are by what we have or have not. i never expect to retire...i will die working for my monthly mortgage, the food on my table and the basic necessities of life. While my neighbor lives comfortably in retirement. So i might think or judge ! [:-] Prosperity and satisfaction in this life comes from within. i have heard of many a man moooching off a woman ... Dom or not. It is a condition of human behaviour. very much my position at the present time. I had worked a job for 16 yrs, then dec 3,2004 was handed a letter as we walked out the door that decided our fate for us, some would be hired back and some wouldn't. See the factory I worked for in WI sold out to another and we had to reapply for positions with that company, now in the back of my mind I kind of knew I would not be rehired, so the applications where handed out the fri, before thanksgiving and I had it back in the office the following monday. Well needless to say I didn't get hired back dispite the fact I was there everyday on time, unless I had a migraine and in bed with it, and worked all the overtime, volunteered for inventory. I feel the reason that I was not hired back, was because I had a suite filed against the company on a workmans claim I had injured my knee on the job and will have to have it replaced in a few years, they won't now because at age 48 am too young to have it done, go figure. And I am on permant restrictions of no climbing ladders, can only stand on it for total of 4 hrs a day, no kneeling, or squatting, no lifting more than 50 lbs, no lifting and carrying more than 20 lbs. well in factory work what type of jobs accomodate these anymore, fast food joints you are on your feet all the time plus the danger of slipping on the floor, so have decided to babysit. Master took me despite the fact I have no job at this time, yes things are tight, and I hate that I am a burden on him, but he says not to worry and when I start to babysit things will be better then I can start to help out where possible. i never thought of myself as materialistic, but would like to be comfortable, and not have the guy depending on me for support I did that for 16 yrs with hubby and won't again, I will work to help out where I can, but will never support a man again unless in master's case something where to happen where he could not work that is not his fault, so yes would then. I do not want to be rich but do want to be comfortable. edited to say toslavesdesires, I agree with everything you said. it is exactly how I feel. I took out some of what you said in the quoted area due to wanting to express the very words you said. junecleaver I like your name on here by the way, I wish I had thought of it first, LOL.

Mercnbeth -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/14/2005 8:30:00 AM)
quote: why do some subs think doms are sugar daddies???? maybe the sub and the Dom both want the relationship to resemble what one person's perspective would make their small mind think that the Dom is the "sugar-daddy" when in the perspective of the parties involved in the relationship(potential or real) the dynamics are mutually agreed upon(financial considerations as well as others). this question is much like the ones who bemoan "overweight subs/slaves", or Pro Domme's and their request for tribute, or what level of pain or bruising is "allowed" before everyone not involved considers it abuse? BL, as always, not all Master-slave or Dom/me-sub relationship are the same, the dynamics and fine details are the business of the parties involved, including who will be the one to pay the bills. It is this slave's opinion that it should be a matter discussed before the relationship is established. quote: why do some subs think they will always get a dom who is so financially secure that they can quit their jobs, get off Medicaid, have financial freedom and just spend his money and play house?? answer #1: the Cinderella story brainwashed them......[:D] answer#2: because there are financially secure Dom/mes out there who are willing to establish a live-in relationship with a sub, provide for their financial and medical needs and demand that the sub not earn a paycheck. when the opportunity arises in a social setting(vanilla or otherwise) and this slave is asked.."what do you do?" or "what job do you do?" this slave answers most honestly..."making Him happy".

infyniti -> RE: How many subs base the best DOM on his income? (5/14/2005 5:36:38 PM)
quote: again, that is their way, why should it bug you? Ahhh, doesn't bug me, but when i was looking for someone, i wanted someone who met my needs are well as my meeting theirs. there are days that it seems that i read some post of subs who want the Donald Trump Dom, but while he is away making the millions, they are on line looking for a Dom " to keep them company". It just doesn't seem right. Not out saving the world, just sort a feel bad for these guys who are out there 60 hours to make things really " nice".... and wondering if they knew the person who was home and their "slave/sub" was on line or on the phone, or even meeting others " to keep them satisified"...... OUCH.. that is just a bad situation and as of late, it seems i have run into talking to other subs left and right.... OK, maybe i am home more now than ever, hence my idea of finding a friend on line, but that wannabe's just make me cringe..... safe enuff to say? peace out

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