RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves

RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (Full Version)

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Aileen68 -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 12:05:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Nope. I think the dom will always be trying to get into the "subbie's" panties. Isn't that the way it is with most male / female friendships? On one level or another... That's been my experience. I don't think that bdsm relationships are any different than vanilla ones in most aspects.

tade -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 12:11:32 PM)
just a little more honest about our violence is all

MsKatHouston -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 12:12:16 PM)
I haven't read all the other replies yet. But, regardless of the type of relationship, any time one party wants to invest more than the other party, it's a recipe for disaster. Not always, but in my experience, even if nothing is acted upon, there's always that bit of tension.

BearsBreech -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 9:13:16 PM)
At the root of D/s lays at minimum, the trust borne of a vanilla relationship. Friendship is nice too.

corsetgirl -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 9:21:52 PM)
With the exception of a few doms or domabees I have encountered, I can still be friends with doms even though the play or chemistry did not work out. I am told it is better to end things amicably than burn some bridges along the way.

sublizzie -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/19/2007 11:07:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade Isn't that the way it is with most male / female friendships? On one level or another... No. I have wonderful male friends who aren't interested in me other than as a person. I am more interested in them as people than as sexual partners. Why does sex have to be part of a hetero male/female relationship? That's like thinking that every lesbian wants to get into every woman's panties. Doesn't work that way.

RavenMuse -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/20/2007 7:58:47 AM)
I think those that don't think it can be done need to get out more and meet a few Men who don't still live in their mom's basement! It takes two to tango, if there is no interest on the other side then a mature adult will move their interest elsewhere. That doesn't mean the potential of a friendship HAS to go with it. I have a number of friends, yep femsubs, who I initialy got to know when I was searching but there proved to be an incompatability there for anything beyond friendship. I find it far easier to turn an initial dynamic/relationship interest into 'just friends' than the other way around.

RandomGAGirl -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/20/2007 11:39:17 AM)
It just depends on the person in question. I've talked to Doms who always try to push things in the collaring direction even if I am dead set against it. But I've also talked to those who are just friendly, respectful, and never try to push things. It's similiar to having a male or female friend in the vanilla world who is interested in you some will persue it some will just accept and enjoy a friendship only. The main difference I have encountered with trying to be friends with Dominants is that sometimes there are occasional power struggles if you will where the Dom will try to wrestle me into submission by giving orders, assigning tasks, something that will change the dynamic of the relationship.

earthycouple -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/20/2007 3:15:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse I think those that don't think it can be done need to get out more and meet a few Men who don't still live in their mom's basement! It takes two to tango, if there is no interest on the other side then a mature adult will move their interest elsewhere. That doesn't mean the potential of a friendship HAS to go with it. I have a number of friends, yep femsubs, who I initialy got to know when I was searching but there proved to be an incompatability there for anything beyond friendship. I find it far easier to turn an initial dynamic/relationship interest into 'just friends' than the other way around. Here Here! Very well said RavenMuse

tade -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/20/2007 9:02:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie quote: ORIGINAL: tade Isn't that the way it is with most male / female friendships? On one level or another... No. I have wonderful male friends who aren't interested in me other than as a person. I am more interested in them as people than as sexual partners. Why does sex have to be part of a hetero male/female relationship? That's like thinking that every lesbian wants to get into every woman's panties. Doesn't work that way. Hence the most part. Big difference between most and every now isn't there. Can't speak for women or lesbians for that matter but I can say men (straight men at least) generally have 3 types of female friends. Ones they have had, those they would like to have and the ones that they can't have. Cliches become cliches for a reason. But Congrats on being in the 1 %... ;)

ennaozzie -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/21/2007 2:21:34 AM)
Most of my friends in the lifestyle are Doms and we dont have sexual relationship in any way, and i know i have what it takes to attract someone, but they and me know we are not for each other and i get to learn from them, a couple of them are Mentors to me, and treasure the friendship so much.

NYMaster101 -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/21/2007 2:32:29 AM)
Not only possible, but preferable.

pinksugarsub -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/21/2007 2:54:36 AM)
My apologies to A/anyone annoyed by "subbies" or "thankies" and will try not to be so casual in my posting in future. However my thanks to E/everyone who answered the Op; very thoughtful and reflective replies that have helped me a great deal.

Icarius -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/22/2007 5:29:05 AM)
I've a few sub friends that I have never engaged, and most likely never will engage, in any play with. If someone messages me and I'm really not interested, I let them know straight up. Some stay and choose to remain in contact as friends, some get huffy and never contact me again.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/22/2007 5:35:22 AM)
WE have a few slaves/subs that are truly friends girls that we share vanilla interest with ie horses,fishing etc and yes always trying to get into those sweet panties...I am one not to fuck my wifes friends believe it our not..bounty

AquaticSub -> RE: Friendships with Subbies or Slaves (5/22/2007 5:37:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub Can a Dom/me really be F/friends with a subbie or slave when He's/She's interested in more and she/he is not? Sure. If the dom isn't an ass and deludes himself into believing he is entitled to things he isn't. I have a few male dom friends who want to get into my pants. We get along wonderfully because they respect me as an equal since I'm not theirs and they respect my relationship and devoation to Valyraen. Edited to add: I really only use the term subbie when I'm joking around. Valyraen likes to ask me if I'm "putting my subbie kitten paw down" to tease me. [:D]

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