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RE: Sucking - 5/15/2005 9:22:04 AM   
Mia1978


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		I greatly appreciate all your thoughts and comments. I know this won't be easy, and more than likely it won't be possible, but it is worth a try. I didn't get married just to cheat or get divorced, but nor can I ignore my needs for the rest of my life. Something has to give at least a little. I know we are all so different in this world and words can only express so much. Thanks again.

And Raphael, thank you. I'm not used to receiving praise for my efforts in this. For over a year it has been a silent battle with the odds against me. But I can't give up, not yet. He is still perfectly happy, so I don't mind constantly trying new things in an attempt to find a medium that will bring us to the same satisfaction level. Your praise really means a lot to me.

"And in a world where it sometimes seems that no one cares about their commitments anymore, where the expected reaction of a woman in her situation is to satisfy her needs 'on the side' or just hire an attorney and leave the man high and dry, the fact that she's trying to make it work... I admire that. I really do."

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 21
Converting a spouse - 5/19/2005 2:07:52 PM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mia1978
I know this won't be easy, and more than likely it won't be possible, but it is worth a try. I didn't get married just to cheat or get divorced, but nor can I ignore my needs for the rest of my life. Something has to give at least a little. I know we are all so different in this world and words can only express so much. Thanks again.

Well, I'm another one to give you praise for staying with it. I am sickened by unfaithful women who, having made a commitment to one man as a wife, then expect me to believe they will make an even more severe commitment to me as a slave even while still married.

You might like to take a look at the Taken In Hand website. Not only could it fit your needs quite well but it is also a potentially more acceptable site for your husband to look over and ponder. For example, try starting him at "Gentlemen of quiet strength and kindness" http://www.takeninhand.com/node/195

I can dig out links of other sites that may be of use, too - write to me off-list if you want. What you may need to do is pull back from "BDSM" (in his mind) and move more into the arena of "traditional marriage". Once he is established as the Head Of Household (there's another phrase to search the Internet on) you can see if he can be taken further. Don't rush: this is a project that will likely to take years, not weeks.

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Converting a spouse - 5/19/2005 2:56:19 PM   
Isolde


Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline 		Good for you, Mia. I started the same process some months ago with my husband and have since discovered that while he still isn't as interested in the D/s dynamic, outside of playing the Master role occasionally as a Top, he does at least enjoy S&M and bondage in a topping role. While it's something I crave less than D/s, it was more than I'd originally hoped for and gives me reason to believe he might well continue developing into the Dom I feel I need. It's been a lot of work and heartache but it's also been worth it. He's been worth it.

Good for you for not compromising, or going the easy route. If you ever want or feel you need someone to chat with, you can email me here or at hamingja @ gmail.com.

(in reply to Interesdom)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sucking - 5/19/2005 4:12:55 PM   
dragonofjapan


Posts: 91
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

It is important to introject that ORal Sex does have STD risks, so make sure you know the health of whom you are sucking..


Just some medcal information. Do not brush your teeth within 4 hours of sucking cock. The abrasion of your gums make them open wounds.

after 4 to 6 hours these are healed completely in most healthy people.

Oral sex has one of the lowest tranmission rates for AIDS due to stomach acids.

But is a good idea to know the joe you blow.

There is a great doc written by a gay guy for women. It is 14 pages. I looked to see if there is a link, but I have it, if someone has a place it can be posted, let me know and I will put it up there.

Zip

_____________________________

He who rules truly serves
She who serves truly rules

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the things which take our breath away

Honor is not making good choices,
it is dealing with the consequences.

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sucking - 5/22/2005 8:24:13 PM   
PcolaMan


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline 		Well dear trying to develop the Dominant side of a male is hard at times.. This is due to the pre-training to treat a woman as a lady always and to always defer to her whenever possible.

Your job is to find the things to drive him wild and ask him to insist that you do them whenever he wants them even the least littlebit. Give him the control that he has had trained out of him by society.. Be prepared for the long haul in this.. If he likes being sucked then offer your mouth to him whenever it is physically possible. Teach him that he can demand this of you at his whim. That is the first step on a slippery slope of becomming a dominant of one sort or another.

I should know it is how I was induced into this lifestyle. Oh so many years ago when things were much more stark.. I became a Master that was prized for the way I made a woman and or man jump at my whip. I would have never have thought of inducing sexual pleasure through the use of torture in any form before that.

But a young lady with a beautiful body enticed this young buck by asking him to please spank her as she sucked his cock. She did this for weeks and eventually escalated the demands for rough behavior.. It got to the point that she brought out the whips and I froze then again.. The thought of her beautiful body wearing a welt or many welts was at first an awful thought to me.. then she egged me on and I litterally spanked her black and blue. She literally laid a crop in my hand and said she deserved a real beating for making me so angry..

Well she still had me at a high anxiety point and I just grabbed it up and flailed her with it. She wore fifteen welts that entire week and was continually looking at them in the mirrors and touching them and smiling and enjoying them. When I put my hands on them it excited her even more and I slowly began to get the idea..

Well you have to train your husband in your needs. You needs as a submissive..and a woman. Teach him your willingness to be at his beck and call for his pleasure.. later teach him to discipline you if you need that.. but first pleasure dear.. then a different sort of pleasure for you.. Good Luck you will need to go slow and steady.. but you can do it.
Lazarus

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sucking - 5/22/2005 9:26:52 PM   
ginger21


Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline 		Hmmm...from what I hear, I give pretty good head so let me see if I can think of some of the techniques I use...

I know this is obvious, but do all you can to avoid your teeth grazing his cock. I use my bottom lip to cover my bottom front teeth.

Move your tongue around while his cock is in your mouth...

And suction, suction, suction! Try to keep it pretty steady. That's hard yes, but he'll love it!

If all else fails (or if you get tired), ask him to hold you by the hair and fuck your mouth. It always works for me! ^_^

_____________________________

My Xanga!
What?
"I looked up,
and I was in your arms, and I knew that I was captured..."

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sucking - 5/22/2005 9:32:57 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		shaving! it removes the hairs that can make it well like a hairball, mint of some kind used just before kills the taste and gives him this cool rush feeling--a mouthful of champagne is erotic too, he feels the bubbles, you have a taste, I personally adore oral sex, it is a great torment-- also stimulating the perineum while doing it will have him begging---Smiles---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sucking - 5/23/2005 7:19:44 PM   
glassdoll


Posts: 131
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mia1978

I have very little guidance from my master on this, and I have many fears and little experience. What are some of the greatest ways I can suck him dry? Position, technique, depth....???? If your sub has ever shown fear or distaste for it, what do you tell her to push her to keep going? He will never force me, so the control will have to come from my own mind. I want to learn how to deep throat too, but fear somehow my teeth will get in the way and cause him displeasure. How can I be good? How can I make him feel ever so powerful and pleased?



don't forget that humming sound when you make the the sucking in noise while going down .

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sucking - 5/31/2005 8:15:14 AM   
harold


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Here is the advice straight from a gay man who knows. Before deep throating it is best not to drink any cold beverage as it will constrict your throat muscles. If you still have a hard time, then drink some warm coffee first. This works on the same principle as sword swallowers. Have your man lie down on his back and u have to get far down between his legs on your stomach. You are slid down so far that u are looking up toward his crotch. This straightens out your throat since you are now looking up just like a sword swallower. Now slide upward with his cock sliding straight down your thoat. Be sure to take a deep breath first, and his cock has to be plenty wet with saliva all the way down it. You will only be able to keep it there for a few seconds, then catch another breath and take it in again. People mistakenly think that they can do a deep throat by leaning down over a guy, but that puts a bend in your throat and it just won't work. Good luck.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sucking - 6/1/2005 10:53:45 AM   
iamMasters


Posts: 65
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		It's taken 10 years for me to realise my true submisive self (although it had been there for ever) and to 'encourage' Him into being my Master. It started with little things, both exploring together like shaving and anal and then built up and up and up. He was offered my body and mind as His slave two years ago but ignored it, so i worked a little more, told Him fantasies, showed Him pictures of stuff on the internet that turned me on and i would like to try, knowing they would turn Him on too. I researched the lifestyle and gave Him plenty of opportunity to look at the stuff I had been looking at as well. He started to buy more interesting toys and enjoy using them on me

Eventually, a month ago he bought a book on BDSM, read it and was converted. He told me He was to be my Master. Things aren't perfect, we're both still working on it but we are getting there.

Don't give up, as others have said it may well take a while, grow into it toghether if you can and have fun trying.

(in reply to harold)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sucking - 6/3/2005 6:20:08 AM   
jenna696


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/30/2005
From: birmingham
Status: offline 		Thank you for that. I also wanted to learn how to deepthroat now I know that i can please a master by twisting my wrist. etc

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sucking - 6/4/2005 4:44:00 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		mia,

a really good post subject here. His comfort lever being low on the subject denotes a problem not of your making, so it is time you took matters into your hands and not look for guidance from him.

There were many fine thoughts in answer to your post, but no one that I noted broached the subject of what does having his cock in your mouth do for you? That may be what he is looking for and has not recognized it.

Techniques are varied and most are good, but it is the image of his woman, [aka girl] with the look of pure pleasure on her face that will turn the trick mentally for him.

the use of eye contact can be very erotic for you both and the best way, in my mind, to get him going is working over the head while you stroke the shaft, create the illusion that you "need" his cock in your mouth and in no time I suspect that he will be taking charge and you will find him driving his cock into your mouth with as much zeal as your pussy.

CP

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Sucking - 6/5/2005 2:25:09 AM   
jennel


Posts: 20
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hm, as others have stated, I'm sure every man is different, however one male I've spoken to regarding the subject stated a few different things he really enjoys.

* Deep throat, deep throat, deep throat (he also mentioned he liked ejaculating while far back in the girl's throat -- providing it doesn't choke her).

* Keep pressure against the staff using your tongue, massaging it as you move up and down.

* Try for two or three orgasms. After the first, keep him in your mouth, keep stimulating him so he can be brought to orgasm in that manner multiple times.

* If your mouth gets tired (God forbid), lick the head while moving your hand up and down the shaft to keep pressure built up.

* Above all, be creative. Try different things. Mold your techniques to what your Master wants. Don't be afraid to ask what is good and what is better. :)

jennel

PS: I agree with communication being the most important factor. I think you should ask Him if He is not being up front about His needs.

< Message edited by jennel -- 6/5/2005 2:57:47 AM >

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sucking - 7/7/2005 3:17:53 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		I like to feel it is the enthusiam shown...you know you are going to get from point a to point b..it is howw you savor the journey...

The various techniques deepthroat..vacumm suck..feather touch..dancing tongue and all be very useful but it depends on the chemistry and what the Dom enjoys...

Any Dom worth his salt will encourage and guide you to the various techniques...

Being personally uncircumsized I find that it is sort of like the sensativity involved with some women as the climax or get close to it..there is a sensativity duration factor...

The deepthroat wet warm slow with just enough suction to emulate that of genital copulation is an amazing feeling...the teasing again can be related to the hills and valleys...building up of crests of orgasms...muliorgasmic pleasure can be achieved over a few hours..

If a sub is fearful or finds distaste..no actual...it might be because of an incident in the past...

Like any relationship communication is the cornerstone to god everything..no communication ...well you get the picture...

Encouragement should be shown AND verbalized by the Dom as to give clues to critiquiing...

I have had experiences with one sub where she would suck with such intensity that after a few hours there would be the equivilent of blood blisters on the Cock head....never encountered this before with the use of a Cock ring...

Speaking of which...use of a cock ring can prolong sensations..sensitivity and endurance..it is not uncommon to enjoy marathons of hours...

There is the technique of mouth fucking once the ability to learn how to breathe properly and allow the throat muscles to relax...

I have enjoyed some sessions where I intentionally have taken an more seasoned experienced oral affectionator and entered into the throat...remained motinless.and allowed My Cock to thicken...it takes practice and it has closed off the air passages causing them to gag...also to be confused...the key is to remain motnless and focus...

It then becomes a game as they know from experience they are accomplished and try to see just what is going on...

As far as forcing...if it is within the context of your limits a forceful session might be somewhat exciting...

Remember communication is the key..

safe...sane..consentual....


(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sucking - 7/8/2005 5:07:39 PM   
teapaw


Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I will sometimes wrap my lips over my teeth if Master is not wanting teeth involved, he varies in his moods for this. Though over long periods of time it will chafe my lips a bit....he feels its well worth it...Good Luck
pamela

_____________________________

"get a taste of reiligion ...lick a witch"

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sucking - 8/16/2005 11:03:51 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Mia,
Let me tell you something that I found a long time ago. There are three things that make for good sex (or a good blowjob) from awoman. They are: attitude, Attitude and ATTITUDE !! If you have the right attitude about this you will continually try to learn new and better ways to please your Dom. As the others have said; watch, ask, listen and learn what works and what doesn't for him. Don't hesitate to try new things and be persistant. You will surprise him and surprise yourself with what you can do.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Mia1978)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sucking - 8/17/2005 8:00:30 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		wow, I am just stunned - all I can see in my mind's eye is some guy who is lying there like a piece of meat while his wife tries to do her best for him orally, a guy who is apparently so disconnected that he won't sigh or twitch or say, "That feels good" - and knowing how most men react to fellatio, I am stunned.


(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 37
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