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ORIGINAL: Kitte9

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ANYONE worth having is worth working for....bdsm or otherwise. 

I just had to say how much I liked hearing that. Thank you.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

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ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

That is why I go into relationships very slowly.

And that's a very good practice.  I think that the wisdom to take things slow with regard to relationships is not always acquired until one has the life experience and the wisdom to adopt this very important principle. 

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ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1

I find it somewhat confusing when I read that subs will only do what they want to, how can they call themselves a sub? To me submission is a gift and selfless act to someone you worship, love and adore.

I would be amazed if anyone was a perfect match, but I guess it can happen. As long as something is not a hard limit, that the Domme clearly wants, the rest can be worked upon. I believe when you find the right one, your limits change anyway.

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it

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ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1

I find it somewhat confusing when I read that subs will only do what they want to, how can they call themselves a sub? To me submission is a gift and selfless act to someone you worship, love and adore.

I would be amazed if anyone was a perfect match, but I guess it can happen. As long as something is not a hard limit, that the Domme clearly wants, the rest can be worked upon. I believe when you find the right one, your limits change anyway.

Some years ago, I was watching one of those tabloid TV shows...it might have been the Maury Povich show...but anyway, they had a dom/sub couple on and they were explaining to the audience the difference between a submissive and a slave. Well, the explanation was that a submissive could say "no" or had the right to negotiate, but the slave did not. This seems like the consensus of opinion in my local community as well. I've seen the subject bounced around like a tennis ball on this site as well as other sites. I don't know of anyone who has the authority to set standard definitions for this community, but I am sure that everyone has their own opinion. Maybe we should check with Whackypedia?

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ORIGINAL: bts4lfe

yes you are right addicted2  it is a equal amount of exchange that is why i am a slave and not a subbie.... i cant tell my mistress NO..  i may have opinions and want someone i can share them with but.. if she wants me to do something i do it no questions no back talk no nothing...the only think i do ask is (and its only asking) is to serve her and be there for her. if she has a bad day at work she can come home and take out her fustrations on me, then ill will give her a massage if she has a good day at work same goes she can come home and tell me about it,dont get me wrong im not a sissy or a doormat  but her other half where she ends and i begin there is no defining line    thank you for letting me rant     tommy                             the only difference between ordeal and adventure    IS ATTITUDE...................................

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and from a slaves point of view YES anything worth having is worth working for    that is why sometimes you may not want or like to do something     but you do it to make someone else happy......

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TheTammyJo

I think it's also a matter of time.

I do not believe that someone can be submissive 100% of the time, every day, day in and day out in all situations. So automatically when someone says I'm a submissive I see that as really a limited thing.

Slave on the other hand don't have to be submissive, they have to serve and they have to obey. That can require not being submissive at any time or under different circumstances. In fact most slaves I've known can be pretty far from submissive in their interactions even with their owners if the circumstances are right.

But I see submissive as more a personality trait and way of bending to another's active will. I see consensual slavery as something more complex and more long-term, an underlining relationship dynamic than an individual trait.