chrissyslave
Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tenderscreamz
i was introduced to him by a friend of his..the plan was to date and see how things went........we got along very well for being totally opposite.....the plan was that we would date exclusivly and build from there into a D/s relationship once the trust was built to a firm ground..It is possible that this relationship may not have met my needs BUT if the honesty was there that could have been worked on...
In order of the above original comments the OP added: you did see how things went.....and they went lousy!...so you got you answer, though not the one you wanted.
You weren't "totally opposite" and that was the problem right off...he was/is a sub and he needed a Mistress in his life, and that wasn't ever going to be you....so he fooled you and ultimately you let yourself be fooled into thinking he could "switch" and be a Dom to you, and not a sub to anyone. That was a major mistake, and I made that same one in vanilla life before I even was aware of D/s thought or experience (I was naive then in other words), but you are not so naive if you know about being a sub and what a Dom is, and you still bought the "I can completely change for you" BS. So, a bit of shame on you for becoming emotionally involved before you really was sure he would switch his basic nature. BTW, I always shake my head when male subs contact me and say they want to Dom me....yea...right....not! I tend to think either their sub profile is false to begin with, or they are being false with who they are now. The most you could have hoped for is likely for him to become a switch, which means he would still have to have a Domme or Top on the side.
As for "could have been worked on with honesty" ...well, you can work on something to death but why bother?....when you sound like you need a true Dom in your life...so why try to switch someone?....just to have some sex now? So please be honest with yourself...you made mistakes, created false hopes, and invested too much too soon....but at least you finally checked out your hunches and learned a few hard-luck lessons...and those were when you finally got honest with your relationship.
Now the question is whether you will be honest with your own needs and type of relationship needed in the future (a true Dom), and focus on the degree of CURRENT match-up...not remaking a sexual partner to be someone they are not, and can't be. I hope you see my words to be a bit of tough honesty and not to further salt your emotional wounds. And the next thing I would love to hear is you have completely broke off this dead-end sub/sub so called "relationship" and getting back on your true track in searching. In the end you will be more honest and successful if you do. I wish you the best in a future "honest" search.
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