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RE: A question from a total newb. - 5/22/2007 3:35:20 AM

Indemnis

Posts: 179
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindUnknown

<OP>

WHERE ARE ALL THE NERD GIRLS?!?!

Um. <wave> >_>

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 5/22/2007 10:16:38 AM

angelgirl9631

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Joined: 4/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Drockan

I've been seeking a master/slave type relationship for about four years now, on and off, and one thing stands out clearly to me.

Everyone seems to be looking for someone older and more experienced.

I understand completely that a young sub would of course be looking for someone that knows the ropes, as it were, to guide them, and there's always the attraction that so many people feel (yet which I don't share) towards older... 'partners.'

The question is, how's a young dom supposed to get anywhere? Am I actually going to have to wait another 13 years (35 seems to be the minimum age requirement for a dom, from the responses I regularly recieve) before I can have a chance at pursuing my dreams?

Don't give up and put things "on hold" to become older to pursue Your dreams. In talking to a few of my fellow subbies, i found the reason they look to older Masters/Dom/mes is the fact they have the years experience behind them. My Master was sought out by a young Dom wanting to learn the ropes (no pun on the words) and He has taken this young Dom under His wing to teach Him. (my Master has over 10+ years Himself and will always still learn more). Try to seek out someone in Your area or close to that You can get to or talk to a few Dom/mes online and ask for assistance. Most of them that are true will most likely assist You.

Good Luck in Your search,

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/3/2007 10:28:06 PM

bacchas

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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I have no problem with a younger dom. I suppose if given the choice I might lean towards the older dom, but I wouldn't discount someone off the bat because they're younger. It can add an interesting dynamic if they're younger than me.

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/4/2007 11:44:26 AM

smirkingsheep

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/5/2007
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I would much rather a younger dom, right now I'm more comfortable having someone to learn with rather than someone to teach me.

EDIT: But if I were actively seeking, it'd be for a full out relationship type thing, not just D/s play. I mean, I have about a bajillionity times more things in common with someone closer to my own age, obviously.

< Message edited by smirkingsheep -- 6/4/2007 11:45:47 AM >

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/4/2007 11:52:33 AM

gothicdiva

Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smirkingsheep

I would much rather a younger dom, right now I'm more comfortable having someone to learn with rather than someone to teach me.

EDIT: But if I were actively seeking, it'd be for a full out relationship type thing, not just D/s play. I mean, I have about a bajillionity times more things in common with someone closer to my own age, obviously.

Age doesn't necessarily equate with experience. I'm older, but fairly new to the lifestyle...just a few years. I've seen people half my age that have twice the experience or more that I do. I could certainly appreciate someone willing to grow with me OR someone that I could learn from as well.

Be well,
M. Diva

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/4/2007 8:19:02 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

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Joined: 7/15/2006
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Dockran,
I think the key to your problem is the word "relationship." Certainly there are exceptions, but in my experience when a woman, either submissive or vanilla, thinks about entering a relationship one of the things she looks for is stability. This can be especially true in D/s relationships. Now of course I don't know you and can't judge you personally, but you have to admit that the average guy your age is not a paragon of stability. This is why so many may be seeking someone a bit older.

In my own case I got lucky. When I was in my late teens I met an older widowed submissive who was just far enough distant from burying her dominant/husband that she was looking to play some and not really looking for a relationship. As it turned out we clicked well and stayed together until I left to enter the Air Force. Because she was experienced she was able to teach me a lot about the life that would have taken me years to learn on my own, or with less experienced submissives.

So I would suggest to you that you deemphasize the idea of a relationship for a while and simply spend some time with some older, more experienced submissives as part of your learning curve. Certainly you can find quite a few on here who may be a decade or so older and looking to play on a regular basis without needing lifelong comittment. Then when you actually do have both experience behind you and stability in your life/career you can go look for the one to last a lifetime.

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/4/2007 9:19:17 PM

ron2421

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Hey, just wait until you are in your mid-40's as I am. You would give anything to be 35 again.
I think it's a phenomena for people my age to have only in more recent years discovered our true BDSM and D/S tendencies via the Internet and websites like this one.
Today, consider yourself lucky you have had these widely-accessible mediums to have discovered your true inner aspirations earlier in life.
Because us older folks did not have them, we fumbled around for years, often holding back on our secret desires while wondering if significant amounts of other people shared in them, or whether we were just strange.
Yet, I did enjoy suppressed experiences as a dom, and even experimented as a switch, with a number of girlfriends through my 20's and 30's. When I mustered up the confidence, I found out quickly enough via being yelled at, slapped in the face, or being called crazy which ones would share in my kinks.
These limited BDSM and D/S experiences though usually left me with subtle feelings of guilt.
It was not until a few years before I got married in my late 30's that the Internet mostly helped me recognize my true aspirations and potential as a dom. I then also learned of the entire lifestyle and that certain females actually looked for this type of individual!
Whatever you do, never wish that you will get older. It will then happen too quickly.
Maybe you are not looking hard enough? I've seen plenty of profiles for young sub and slave females on Collarme insisting they want a master who is not over 30 or 40 years of age.

< Message edited by ron2421 -- 6/4/2007 9:26:20 PM >

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RE: A question from a total newb. - 6/5/2007 2:49:25 AM

colouredin

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I dont think age is much of an issue really, i think its more about attitude, who clicks with who, as a few people have mentioned you seem to be a bit dismissive no real drive. Also seem slightly winging. Just look around. I am twenty, i met up with a Domme casually who would dont play with anyone under 21 but my personality won her over, it really is more about who you are than anything else, thats one of the best things about this lifestyle.

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