RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness

RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (Full Version)

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imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/6/2007 9:03:33 AM)
I used to be concerned about these feelings, for me i had to get a sense of belonging and love from who i am and what i am...i didnt get it from anybody else so it was up to me.

nonu -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/6/2007 9:36:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav I used to be concerned about these feelings, for me i had to get a sense of belonging and love from who i am and what i am...i didnt get it from anybody else so it was up to me. Thank you. I guess it is that feeling of being self-dependent that also saves one from being hurt emotionally in a relatonship.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/6/2007 10:21:32 AM)
quote: Thank you. I guess it is that feeling of being self-dependent that also saves one from being hurt emotionally in a relatonship. Yeah ...i know it sounds good, but i havent totally mastered it yet LOL...i suck at protecting my heart...but i keep trying.

MrsDiablo -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/6/2007 6:09:59 PM)
I just stumbled upon this post..(I must say, I am not trying to crash in on anyones conversation here.) and I think there has been some very lovely insight. However, in my own opinion. I believe that both parties must remember, it is human nature, to have these type of emotions. To me, anyhow a D/s relastionship is no different than a vanilla one. The two are still human, and have the same respones to emotions as one would have in a vanilla relastionship.

pixelslave -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/6/2007 8:43:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nonu Thanks for that input, slaveboy. I guess that's where i have always lost control of myself and ended up getting hurt. Maybe there is indeed "a time" in a relationship, when one can totally let go of all inhibitions, and allow oneself to get totally attached to one's Dominant. What appears tough, is to control the urge to lose myself totally, in all ways, when i know for sure that i want to literally dissolve myself in Her. Nonu, I think the difficulty we subs often face when considering a relationship with a new Mistress, is that to submit to a woman, one must also allow themselves to let go of the inhibitions of which you speak. For me to do so, it opens the door to those feelings of love and attachment that you've also spoken of or at least made implications toward. The bottom line is that the more I allow myself to submit to a woman, the more and harder I tend fall in love. That is the reason, that I personally have never been able to casually play with others. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] To me, this provides additional reasons behind the importance of getting to know a woman (and vice versa) as a person before allowing yourself to begin to submit to her, despite any urges either of you might have in this regard; although I fully recognize how tempting it can be. I hope this helps provide you with some additional insight into the situation you find yourself in. [&:] - pixel

nonu -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/7/2007 4:54:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave The bottom line is that the more I allow myself to submit to a woman, the more and harder I tend fall in love. That is the reason, that I personally have never been able to casually play with others. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] Ditto! After all, we submit with our hearts - how can we not fall in love with Those to whom we're giving ourselves in totality? quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave To me, this provides additional reasons behind the importance of getting to know a woman (and vice versa) as a person before allowing yourself to begin to submit to her, despite any urges either of you might have in this regard; although I fully recognize how tempting it can be. Tempting is the word indeed. It is an urge so difficult to resist, and yet so important to fight back. Maybe it is your experience that enables you to balance your heart and mind. I hope i am also able to do so one day!

SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/8/2007 8:04:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave quote: ORIGINAL: nonu Thanks for that input, slaveboy. I guess that's where i have always lost control of myself and ended up getting hurt. Maybe there is indeed "a time" in a relationship, when one can totally let go of all inhibitions, and allow oneself to get totally attached to one's Dominant. What appears tough, is to control the urge to lose myself totally, in all ways, when i know for sure that i want to literally dissolve myself in Her. Nonu, I think the difficulty we subs often face when considering a relationship with a new Mistress, is that to submit to a woman, one must also allow themselves to let go of the inhibitions of which you speak. For me to do so, it opens the door to those feelings of love and attachment that you've also spoken of or at least made implications toward. The bottom line is that the more I allow myself to submit to a woman, the more and harder I tend fall in love. That is the reason, that I personally have never been able to casually play with others. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] To me, this provides additional reasons behind the importance of getting to know a woman (and vice versa) as a person before allowing yourself to begin to submit to her, despite any urges either of you might have in this regard; although I fully recognize how tempting it can be. I hope this helps provide you with some additional insight into the situation you find yourself in. [&:] - pixel .....excellent comments and insight P.!--- feel that surge myself also depending on the M.

TexasMaam -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/8/2007 10:37:18 PM)
I can only hope that I've found the ONE sub who craves My affection and loving response so deeply that he'll do anything to get it. After a three day weekend at a seaside resort, he recently told me that the feeling of having Me wrapped around him, alongside him, behind him, enveloping him, holding him, loving him, was the most amazing feeling of warmth, love, and protection that he'd ever imagined. I sure hope he meant that! TM quote: ORIGINAL: nonu ...Therefore, to me submission towards Her is vital, whether or not it is met by Domination along the way; but i feel incomplete and starved in the absence of 'warmth' and 'love' that i have always looked up to Women for. My query to all Dominant Women is, whether this form of submission is natural and common. Have You come across submissives who were looking for 'love', 'attachment' or 'protection' from You, instead of (or other than) pain, humiliation or mind control? Someone who was eager to obey You to his last breath, anticipate each need or desire, devote his heart and soul unto making You happy, and taking any level of abuse / humiliation from You, only for that occasional moment of 'care' and feeling of 'belonging to You'? Also, is it foolish / unadvisable for a submissive to become emotionally attached and possessive about his Dominant? I have always dreaded being cuckolded, because i end up getting attached too emotionally and becoming possessive about my Dominant. Is it normal / correct for me to feel this way about Her, or am i mixing too many things into one, considering that in each case i was prepared to serve Her for life?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/8/2007 10:49:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nonu My query to all Dominant Women is, whether this form of submission is natural and common. Have You come across submissives who were looking for 'love', 'attachment' or 'protection' from You, instead of (or other than) pain, humiliation or mind control? Someone who was eager to obey You to his last breath, anticipate each need or desire, devote his heart and soul unto making You happy, and taking any level of abuse / humiliation from You, only for that occasional moment of 'care' and feeling of 'belonging to You'? That essentally describes my ENTIRE relationship with Angel. Angel is my baby, not my lover and not anything else. I am Mommy, first and foremost, and he is my possession. The arrangement works out beautifully, becasue as a child he was mistreated and felt inferior to his sisters. With me, he is the most important thing in my life, even if he is limited in his usefulness he is loved. We have been together a very long time, and the emotional connection has grown between us to be that of a Parent and child more than a Owner and slave, at times. quote: Also, is it foolish / unadvisable for a submissive to become emotionally attached and possessive about his Dominant? I have always dreaded being cuckolded, because i end up getting attached too emotionally and becoming possessive about my Dominant. Is it normal / correct for me to feel this way about Her, or am i mixing too many things into one, considering that in each case i was prepared to serve Her for life? Being possessive is not foolish. Acting on it might be. Angel is very possessive and jealous, but he knows better than to say anything about it. It motivates him to work harder at being a better pet. He does not fear losing me to Kitten, and he has nothing against my having lovers since he is useless to me in that arena. However, he doesnt like that Kitten serves me too, since that is where the competitiveness comes in. The jealousy from being cuckolded is part of what makes it work, if you werent jealous then it would be a useless kink. my take on things, at least DV

nonu -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/10/2007 2:51:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TexasMaam I can only hope that I've found the ONE sub who craves My affection and loving response so deeply that he'll do anything to get it. After a three day weekend at a seaside resort, he recently told me that the feeling of having Me wrapped around him, alongside him, behind him, enveloping him, holding him, loving him, was the most amazing feeling of warmth, love, and protection that he'd ever imagined. I sure hope he meant that! TM TexasMaam, That is indeed a very beautiful thing you have shared with us. Hope it is exactly the way you see it! Best wishes!! quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire That essentally describes my ENTIRE relationship with Angel. Angel is my baby, not my lover and not anything else. I am Mommy, first and foremost, and he is my possession. The arrangement works out beautifully, becasue as a child he was mistreated and felt inferior to his sisters. With me, he is the most important thing in my life, even if he is limited in his usefulness he is loved. We have been together a very long time, and the emotional connection has grown between us to be that of a Parent and child more than a Owner and slave, at times. Ms. DV, It's really inspiring to learn about Angel and you. I guess this Mommy-possession arrangement is what makes the D/s relationship work so wonderfully for you. quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire The jealousy from being cuckolded is part of what makes it work, if you werent jealous then it would be a useless kink. my take on things, at least DV Totally agree with you on that. My only fear is when the jealousy goes out of control and turns into depression. Maybe that's one area i should work on even harder.

Kitte9 -> RE: Submissiveness Vs Attachment Vs Possessiveness (6/13/2007 7:52:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54 quote: ORIGINAL: nonu Today, i am a submissive man who is eager to please, submit, surrender and even suffer, in the hope of receiving 'protective' or 'Motherly' love. In other words, although i love being dominated, controlled and even humiliated by Women, it is not what i 'crave' for. What i truly 'desire' is the feeling of 'belonging' to a Woman - someone who as my profile says, "would love me and beat me with the same passion, all my life". Therefore, to me submission towards Her is vital, whether or not it is met by Domination along the way; but i feel incomplete and starved in the absence of 'warmth' and 'love' that i have always looked up to Women for. Well said! You are not alone.... I think MANY of us seek the same I second that! And third and fouth it as well! And bless the Ladies who feel the same.

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