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Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:30:55 AM

sweetstorm

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It's been fun but I can't deal with His temper and I want out. It was a casual arrangement and all in fun. So what's the best way to.... um... break up with your Dom?

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:33:16 AM

imthatacheyouhav

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I think you just did.....

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:34:44 AM

KatyLied

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Does he read the forums? If so provide him a link to this thread.
Although you should talk to him privately before you announce your feelings to a group of strangers.
If he didn't want to release you before I'm sure he probably won't have much problem with it now.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 5/22/2007 11:35:34 AM >

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:39:32 AM

sweetstorm

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LOL
He doesn't read these forums AT ALL. Really. Or I wouldn't have posted this!

He's unaware. I haven't talked to Him formally about it yet.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:46:17 AM

onegoodgirl

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Have you tried talking to him about his anger problem? Is he aware that Dominant means Control?.. that Anger is a uncontrolled and dangerous emotion?

It's a casual arrangement? Does that mean there is no contract involved? (there is usually something in the contract about asking for release).

First of all, if you don't feel safe.. you should just leave.

If he's just a little hot-tempered but you feel sure that he wont haul off and do something to hurt you.. then make all the arrangements you need to make and have a conversation. Ask to be released.

If he's any man at all, he'll accept it.

Good luck.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 11:53:35 AM

sweetstorm

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No contract, it's pretty casual.

He's not violent, it's just that any discussion involving emotion and He suddenly says "I don't want to talk about this."

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around Him and it's very damaging to my self-esteem.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:11:24 PM

onegoodgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

No contract, it's pretty casual.

He's not violent, it's just that any discussion involving emotion and He suddenly says "I don't want to talk about this."

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around Him and it's very damaging to my self-esteem.

Well it certainly doesn't sound like fun any more... if you're convinced you want to leave.. the logical thing to do would be to tell him.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:13:41 PM

sweetstorm

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Okay..... total change of subject.

Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay?

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:16:26 PM

SadisticMan

Posts: 143
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

Okay..... total change of subject.

Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay?

not in your case, he knows it will be hard to find another doormate
and is probably thinking of a way to save this one.
Mean people suck, and so do abusers.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:17:07 PM

drawntothedark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

Okay..... total change of subject.

Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay?

Ummmm.......
Well - I don't know him. It would depend on the person, the situation, etc.

I would find it odd - but then again it's your relationship. Do you find it odd?

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:17:41 PM

pinksugarsub

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i am a "Past Master" at dumping Men, including Doms. Simply say "this isn't working for me anymore; i'm leaving". Do not apologise, explain, debate, offer closure or anything else. Speak once, in a firm tone, and then leave. If He wants closure He can see a therapist.

P.S. Do not accept the subsequent contacts -- YIM, phone, email or other means -- from Him. Use block or ignore as necessary.

i'm not trying to be disrespectful or flippant; i find this ends the relationship with minimal drama and that's in E/everyone's best interest.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:17:50 PM

shyinini

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Why does a D/s relationship NEED a contract to be legit is some...most peeps view point?

After reading your profile sweetstorm.... Iscratch my head why you even asked this...seems a no brainer to me.

but then I had my brain up my ass for 2 yrs..... and no one could convince me to remove it. I fianlly saw the shit.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:18:30 PM

subsfaith

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Dear John.......

'nough said

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:19:52 PM

SadisticMan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

It's been fun but I can't deal with His temper and I want out. It was a casual arrangement and all in fun. So what's the best way to.... um... break up with your Dom?

Be honest and say that you can't deal with his "strong" emotions and run !!

But seriously, why put up with that when there are truely decent men out
there wanting a nice sub and would never treat you that way.
I honor and respect my sub as much as I try to earn her respect and loyalty.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:20:44 PM

shyinini

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

Okay..... total change of subject.

Is it really odd if your Dom gets on His knees and begs you to stay?

not in your case, he knows it will be hard to find another doormate
and is probably thinking of a way to save this one.
Mean people suck, and so do abusers.

I know a dom who did this....wonder if it's the sameone...after all he didnt like to talk about things either..

why can you not just talk to the guy...he wont eat you for dinner will he?

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:21:50 PM

SadisticMan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i am a "Past Master" at dumping Men, including Doms. Simply say "this isn't working for me anymore; i'm leaving". Do not apologise, explain, debate, offer closure or anything else. Speak once, in a firm tone, and then leave. If He wants closure He can see a therapist.

P.S. Do not accept the subsequent contacts -- YIM, phone, email or other means -- from Him. Use block or ignore as necessary.

i'm not trying to be disrespectful or flippant; i find this ends the relationship with minimal drama and that's in E/everyone's best interest.

I agree, well said

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:22:16 PM

shyinini

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i am a "Past Master" at dumping Men, including Doms. Simply say "this isn't working for me anymore; i'm leaving". Do not apologise, explain, debate, offer closure or anything else. Speak once, in a firm tone, and then leave. If He wants closure He can see a therapist.

P.S. Do not accept the subsequent contacts -- YIM, phone, email or other means -- from Him. Use block or ignore as necessary.

i'm not trying to be disrespectful or flippant; i find this ends the relationship with minimal drama and that's in E/everyone's best interest.

I dont totally disagree....but sometimes things DO need closure for your own personal GROWTH !

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:30:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Call him up. Say "I feel like whenever we try and talk about emotions, you shut down and avoid things. I want a relationship with someone I can feel comfortable with on every level and we don't have that connection. I don't want to be involved with you anymore."

Tada.

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:40:56 PM

drawntothedark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i am a "Past Master" at dumping Men, including Doms. Simply say "this isn't working for me anymore; i'm leaving". Do not apologise, explain, debate, offer closure or anything else. Speak once, in a firm tone, and then leave. If He wants closure He can see a therapist.

P.S. Do not accept the subsequent contacts -- YIM, phone, email or other means -- from Him. Use block or ignore as necessary.

i'm not trying to be disrespectful or flippant; i find this ends the relationship with minimal drama and that's in E/everyone's best interest.

I dont totally disagree....but sometimes things DO need closure for your own personal GROWTH !

perhaps, however it's not the responsiblity of anyone to provide you with it. If she leaves it's up to him to find his closure.

I personally have never had to have it. To me closure is a crutch someone uses to hang on to the past when they refuse to let it go.

I do believe in forgivness, and forgiving yourself and the other person for wrongs done in the relationship. But closure to me something totally different.

Damn. Sorry guys - I'm trying to stop smoking today and I have had some other wild stuff make me a bit snippy. If you need closure then by all means get it. And if you don't agree with what I said then ignore me. :)

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RE: Asking for release.... - 5/22/2007 12:48:40 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i am a "Past Master" at dumping Men, including Doms. Simply say "this isn't working for me anymore; i'm leaving". Do not apologise, explain, debate, offer closure or anything else. Speak once, in a firm tone, and then leave. If He wants closure He can see a therapist.

P.S. Do not accept the subsequent contacts -- YIM, phone, email or other means -- from Him. Use block or ignore as necessary.

i'm not trying to be disrespectful or flippant; i find this ends the relationship with minimal drama and that's in E/everyone's best interest.

I dont totally disagree....but sometimes things DO need closure for your own personal GROWTH !

But, you can't get closure from someone else. His closure isn't her responsibility and I'm sensing that she's already at her closure point.

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