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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/29/2007 11:24:13 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
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I found online to be hot, til I started doing it in real life, then it kind of went SPLAT!

just my 0.02 worth

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 5/30/2007 3:13:00 AM

Politesub53

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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i think there are two different types of online users. Firstly the ones that get to learn more about themselves and the lifestyle online, and have a desire to turn it into reality. Secondly those that use online for some sexual based fun, to get away from the reality of everyday life.

Certainly if you are honest in your dealings with someone then online can be very real, especially if you have met offline. Like everything else, its what you make of it that counts.

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 6/5/2007 9:03:08 AM

Indemnis

Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
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I agree completely... my D and I are not living together currently, and I have no phone, so a majority of our contact with each other is online... and he doesn't try to Dom me on the compy. :) I think it's a bit silly myself.

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No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 6/5/2007 10:28:51 PM

kharaakitten

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/3/2007
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i am very new, and have yet to have any true experience. However at this time i am seeking online contact only. It is the only option readily available to me. I do not live in a large city where it may be easy to meet like minded individuals, and were i to search them out, i would risk being ridiculed as this area is somewhat close minded. Furthermore, i have AIDS which limits a lot of things, and people's fear of it places additional limits on possible relationships. Online is safe, and one does not risk being exposed unless they make the choice either. This does not mean that i am not real, or insecere. It simply means i wish to be cautious. If i happen to find a good match, then things will progress to where Wwe meet if She chooses.

Also worth noting, the friends i hold most dear to me are those i met online. In the beginning, the simple fact that they did not know me, that i did not know them made me less fearful of being judged and allowed me to be more open and honest than i felt i could be with people i knew r/t. Perhaps it does not for others, but to me being able to speak freely without having to consider r/t consequences is what allowed me to form such close bonds with them. Then again, online interaction can only be what one allows it to be regardless.

To me, an online relationship of any kind is not simply about meaningless chatter, nor about sex; it is about coming to know a person, and forming a bond.

(in reply to Indemnis)

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Post #: 44

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 6/5/2007 11:10:47 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

I guess I don't feel it or see it either...

For all my experience in BDSM I'm a really crap submissive when it comes to online, and I'll admit it. Sure I'll do things, but it happens in its own time, or I'll get distracted or lose the plot.

I've never really managed to work out why this is. Real time isn't a problem, especially when I'm with a Domme I know but even 'cold' I can submit and function as a submissive to meet expectations. But online? Forget it. It could be lack of experience. It could be a lack of self-discipline, the way I see the Internet and my relationship with it, or maybe I just don't 'feel' that submissive online. Maybe it's a mental block on my part.

It could also be that as a playwright and writer of articles I'm a very bad writer when it comes to letters and correspondence, and I'm not good at keeping journals or diaries. Contrary to what others might think through my postings here, I can't just sit down and write someone without needing a lot of time to think and reflect, and quite often I don't get the amount of thinking time I need. I'm also not good at sticking to routines.. I can follow instructions, yes, but when it becomes routine or repetitive it isn't my strongest suit.

I'm working on this, which is why I'm posting, and developing more and more of an ability to 'think on my feet' when it comes to writing. I write articles sometimes for magazines, but am probably a very bad journalist because I don't have this ability to just sit down, think for a minute or so and write.

I'm okay in chatrooms too. I moderate a TG chatroom and have a certain reputation among some of the trolls who frequent the room and they tend to leave rather than have to justify to me why they should be allowed to continue 'trolling the trannies'.

But as for online submission, it's a bit like dancing, woodwork and singing, not quite my strong suit.

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I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 6/12/2007 3:26:33 PM

littleone35

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Joined: 2/17/2005
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For me online would not work i need to feel his touch look into to his eyes run my fingers through his hair. I am just wired that way i need all 5 senses to be involved. For some people on line works i don't really understand it but hey if it makes you happy i say more power to you.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to stella40)

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Post #: 46

RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/8/2007 11:52:46 PM

Histigress

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT
And if you are going to say "its the only way to get what we need/want/desire", PULEEEZE...it isn't. IMHO, its a lazy person's way of service, and I personally just don't have the time to spend all day on computers bossing slaves around.

me and my Master had met online, and for U/us it IS the only communication W/we have other than the phone, and the only way W/we can SEE eachother is to use a cam.

We don't see the cam as "alot like porn".. cause it isn't all about sex or being sexual on cam...

W/we see it as a way to be able to be as close as possible, and be as "connected" as possible, until W/we are able to make the connection real life....
Which W/we are planning to do as soon as the two of us are able to make it happen.

I have NEVER seen O/our communication through the internet, on the phone or otherwise to EVER be a "lazy person's way of service", i still carry out His wishes as if He were here....
I do my best to maintain my home in the way that He wishes it to be, I handle my finances with His guidance, follow instructions given any slave....ect
That doesn't make a slave lazy, and i personally don't think that i am "just acting out or fulfilling a fantasy that i am afraid to admit i have"... i am just being the slave that i was meant to be, serving the Master that i was meant to serve, in the best ways that i can possibly serve Him.... until i can finally kneel on the floor before Him physically.

I have been owned by Him for almost 3 yrs now, and look forward to being able to serve Him in rl, and yes, it is difficult to not be able to hold eachother, enjoy a good real time scene...ect
But i know that will change... so i will take what i am offered now, and keep being the happiest slave that i have ever been...

_____________________________

"Pain is only weakness, leaving the body"
=^.^=

if you look in the mirror, and you are happy with what you see and who you are... the rest is cake....

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/9/2007 12:21:10 AM

Histigress

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercurialis

I am one of those that have a purely online mistress/sub relationship. It is very long distance and it is very possible I will never see this woman in real life.

Why is it online? Because it started as a friendship, and the way I make friends who share my more unusual interests is through online, as I still have yet to be able to attend a munch or a BDSM group meet. When I'm a little older and I start to be able to visit these events, I'll be able to start meeting people through the real world first. However, regardless of the fact of where it started, the result is that we became very good friends over a period of many months.

What is my online domination about? It's about the same things I would want from a real life online dom/sub relationship. Since there is no one in my life right now who could fill that dominant role for me, my only potential source for this is through online contact. And its hardly like I trolled chat rooms looking for it...neither one of us was looking for what the other had to offer, but we eventually realized that over a period of time, we had started to just naturally take the roles of dom and sub with each other. We didn't seek this out, it just happened.

Is it real? It's as real as any of my other online friendships I suppose. Some people might think those aren't real...but, well, I think as long as the person on the other end of the connection is not some poser, then what you are talking to is a real person, the same person you might have ended up meeting at an event or munch. So the manner of initial contact is different, it's not like it should change much. Yes, real life contact is the better way to make friends. But when that friend of yours isn't around, you email them, call them on your phone, and IM with them...the same with any online friend you would make.

I think if two people just start a dom/sub relationship for the purpose of cybering or just purely sexual reasons, then yes, it probably is a fairly shallow and meaningless relationship, and many of the people who do that probably are not doing everything they type. But if two people have a friendship or dom/sub relationship that is more than just that, why couldn't it be fulfilling?

I should add; to date, all of the dom and sub sessions I have done in real life have come out of making friends online. Let's face it...the internet is currently a very popular way to connect people who have less common and usually hidden interests. When I'm looking for local groups that I can join and take part in soon, I do it through google....an online method to allow me to eventually do things in the real world. Same with making online friends.

thank you ... i agree, and very well put if i may say so myself...

_____________________________

"Pain is only weakness, leaving the body"
=^.^=

if you look in the mirror, and you are happy with what you see and who you are... the rest is cake....

(in reply to mercurialis)

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/9/2007 12:24:06 AM

aeleberaNB

Posts: 690
Joined: 6/4/2007
From: Alberta, Calgary, Canada
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Greetings:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT
And if you are going to say "its the only way to get what we need/want/desire", PULEEEZE...it isn't. IMHO, its a lazy person's way of service, and I personally just don't have the time to spend all day on computers bossing slaves around.

like my friend Histigress said:

quote:

me and my Master had met online, and for U/us it IS the only communication W/we have other than the phone, and the only way W/we can SEE eachother is to use a cam. We don't see the cam as "alot like porn".. cause it isn't all about sex or being sexual on cam... W/we see it as a way to be able to be as close as possible, and be as "connected" as possible, until W/we are able to make the connection real life....Which W/we are planning to do as soon as the two of us are able to make it happen. I have NEVER seen O/our communication through the internet, on the phone or otherwise to EVER be a "lazy person's way of service", i still carry out His wishes as if He were here....
I do my best to maintain my home in the way that He wishes it to be, I handle my finances with His guidance, follow instructions given any slave....ect
That doesn't make a slave lazy, and i personally don't think that i am "just acting out or fulfilling a fantasy that i am afraid to admit i have"... i am just being the slave that i was meant to be, serving the Master that i was meant to serve, in the best ways that i can possibly serve Him.... until i can finally kneel on the floor before Him physically.

i will add that although i first learned about the lifestyle r/l it was the Gorean lifestyle and i learned what a slave was, but then when i lost my first r/l Master i turned to online to learn about the BDSM lifestyle and found that i had a lot of learning to do.

for those of us not able to be with our loved ones, the internet is the only way and it does not mean that a slave is lazy or playing out some fantasy.

when Master says to do something i do it, why? because i love, respect and admire Him, and it is what a good slave does.

not only do i maintain my home the way He would like it to be maintained, but i also follow through with any and all punishments He gives me because it is a matter of those things they call trust, responsibility and honor.

i am proud to serve Him online until such time as i can physically kneel before Him and see the smile on His face when i have pleased Him, to know, feel and hear when i have displeased Him.

Master does not "Boss me around," as you so eloquently put it..... however if He does happen to instruct me to do something i do it and without hestitating unless i am not sure of what He is asking/telling me to do.

in fact i have asked His advice and taken it to heart when He gives it because i trust Him, i know that while He may hurt me, He will never harm me...

as a slave i feel it is my duty to follow any and all instructions given to me by Him as if He were here and will continue to do so until such time that we can be together r/l.

wishing You well,
aelebera{NB}

_____________________________

He is the Master, i am His slave, His property, His muse to do with as He pleases, when and where He pleases. Trust in thy Master as HE knows what is best for His property.

(in reply to Histigress)

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/9/2007 12:47:00 AM

Histigress

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

Online only relationships are fantasy...and thats probably the lure. It prefer to have the "real" relationship. but thats just me....

a relationship is still a relationship, whether online or not, which makes them VERY "real"...
it is what YOU make of it with the person that you have a relationship with...
so if you see everything that isn't in front of your face, or something that you can reach out and touch a fantasy, or a lie, or fake... then that is all it will ever be...

to me... it is still very real, i don't get so wrapped up in it that nothing else in my life matters...
but my relationship is still very "REAL"...
i too prefer to have Him here physically, but that doesn't make what we are left with for communication to be as close as we can until then, all fantasy, or not "real"...

_____________________________

"Pain is only weakness, leaving the body"
=^.^=

if you look in the mirror, and you are happy with what you see and who you are... the rest is cake....

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/9/2007 5:45:50 AM

k8trix

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2006
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I've definitely learned that long distance relationships, that mostly exist through email and occasional phone calls rarely have a happy ending.

I think Domination and submission is best realized in the flesh.

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katie~
“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”

Charles de Lint

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/21/2007 7:06:21 AM

sirsprincess

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/21/2007
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Ok, I am only allowed a certain amount of time reading posts etc and so I apologize if this has already been mentioned. I am an online sub, yes i wish that it were real time 24/7 but you see, I am married and not to my Dom. My husband knows of my desires and he is quite kinky himself, but he is not dominant. I did not discover this side of me until I was about 15 years into my marriage, although in looking back I know it was there all along, but I didn't let it surface until I was much older. My husband does spank me now and then for punishment, but when it comes to my regular life, I run things here. Before you jump to conclusions, my husband does know of my Dom and has even permitted me to meet with him for drinks and to chat, and hopefully soon I will be able to mee with my Dom for some play.

I do wish that we could be 24/7, but I love my husband and I have children and this Dom has put so much control back into my life and is also helping me to be more submissive to my husband, if you can believe that! It is hard sometimes as my Dom is not here and it would be so easy to not obey him but we have formed such a close bond and I first of all, would never lie to him and if I did, he would be so disappointed in me I don't think I could stand it.

There are many things we do online and over the phone to keep my submission to him in my mind. No it's not the same as being together all the time, but this fulfills a strong desire in me and so I get what I can, where I can. Not my ideal, I would love to be able to submit to my Dom in person, I think about it a lot. But it's just not possible at this time. Any questions, I'd be happy to answer. Please do not judge me, I'm working so hard on my self-esteem and really am just looking for some other subs to chat with now and then.

Gotta run, time is almost up!

btw, we have not done anything via webcam, just not into that.

< Message edited by sirsprincess -- 7/21/2007 7:10:33 AM >

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/21/2007 1:01:33 PM

trustingsub

Posts: 36
Joined: 7/17/2007
From: VA
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i feel that online domination is a way of seeing if You and sub/slave are compatible before ever meeting. the sub/slave allows this in hopes of meeting His expectations, before they are to be considered. the sub/slave also feels that this will eventually lead to meeting in person....and most of the time this never happens!

it seems that many enjoy the power they are able to have over a sub/slave, sort of a 'power trip' for them. many abuse this and will degrade and humiliate a sub/slave, rather than getting to 'know' them through conversation. there are also many men that appear to be Dom on here that are actually vanilla men with a need to control a woman through the Internet... we, as sub/slave are very good at weeding out these types of people...

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RE: Online Domination..what the...? - 7/22/2007 5:08:52 PM

MinaM

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Joined: 7/22/2007
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I would say that rather depends on how the Dom/me wants to be served, now doesn't it? Perhaps all that's required is attention, entertainment and company. That's possible online.

Perhaps what's wanted is to know that someone will do the little things like answering the phone and talking when needed.

Relationships are what you make them, not what others expect them to be.

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Post #: 54