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Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/22/2007 8:36:48 PM   
kauna


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline 		For the purposes of this thread, I am vanilla.  A little curious - but still vanilla.  (Forget for a moment that I have an intense desire to be a slave.)  My question is this:  how does one broach the topic of slavery with the people in her life that she cares about?  I have a dear friend with whom I believe I could have a satisfying M/s relationship, but... I'm afraid to tell Him about my secret yearnings.  I'm not so much worried of what He'll say or think... it's really just knowing HOW to say it that has me fearful.  I don't want it to be the end of an otherwise-great friendship.  Any suggestions?  Oh, and if you need more info, please don't hesitate to ask!

~kauna~
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/22/2007 8:37:40 PM   
LadyAnnabelleLee


Posts: 180
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		A book. "When Someone You Love Is Kinky" or something like that. It's a book title, look it up on Borders luv.

And ask yourself why you think they need to know?

< Message edited by LadyAnnabelleLee -- 5/22/2007 8:38:04 PM >

_____________________________

It is the loud few that speak for the quiet many. ~Me

And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
~An excerpt from "Annabel Lee" by Edgar A

(in reply to kauna)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/22/2007 8:40:50 PM   
firefightersgirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Hi there :)

Honesty is always the best. Has he ever expressed any interest? If he is a good friend nothing you say is going to ruin the relationship, hint around a little and see what his reactions are. Being a slave is a wonderful thing in the right circumstances.

(in reply to kauna)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/22/2007 9:32:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And be very careful not to place expectations on someone.  It could end up very badly for everyone- just let it flow and see what happens.


http://www.collarchat.com/m_966469/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#966514
How do you explain bdsm to vanillas around you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_673932/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#673940
questions about coming out

http://www.collarchat.com/m_603184/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#603237
Coming Out

http://www.collarchat.com/m_594649/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#594704
Telling Family

http://www.collarchat.com/m_552712/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#552726
real world acceptance

http://www.collarchat.com/m_500172/mpage_1/key_coming%252Cprocess/tm.htm#500695
So I came out...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_191844/mpage_1/key_coming%252Cprocess/tm.htm#192641
family

http://www.collarchat.com/m_87719/mpage_1/key_coming%252Cprocess/tm.htm#87743
Talking to vanilla people

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kauna)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/22/2007 9:42:40 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I ditto LA....don't make anyone feel the pressure...

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/23/2007 2:41:53 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Well what is between you and your partner is between you two, as to others you care about unless they are your partner i never realy thought it was anyone elses business. 

As to coming out to others as an example - I had two propective employee's brought to me and the person that brought them to me said to me these two can help out, but does it matter that they are gay? it sort of threw me, i said the only thing that conserns me about someone working here with us is if they can do the job, what the hell has there sexual orientation got to do with weither than can do that job?

That is my view on coming out to others but one of the posts said go with the flow see how it goes you will know the right times to bring things up.

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to kauna)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/23/2007 3:24:12 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I was a good friend to a Dom for twenty years. Although I didn't know he was a Dom.
He obviously thought I had slave potential. I don't lol. I'm the most dominant woman I know.
What do you want to do for him that you can't do as a good friend?
Or is it more about what you want him to do to you?
If he hasn't tried to move the relationship on then he obviously doesn't want to or he isn't dominant and would therefore not make a good Dom.
Dominant people make things happen.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/23/2007 7:35:39 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Don't involve anyone who doesn't need to be involved, for starters. As for how to approach this potential Master ... hm. A former Dom told me that he was sitting at a party one evening and a girl served him finger food while she was on her knees. It let him know what she was (and then he had the happy task of letting her know who ~he~ was). Perhaps you could kneel in front of this person to see how he responds. Do something subtle - no need to use a hammer when a pillow will suffice.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/23/2007 7:43:39 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have had to tell my adult kids....it wasnt easy..and i went into no kind of detail. They are having less difficulty with the "flavor" of my life and more so with the fact that there dad(my husband)...and i have an arrangement. This seems to be freaking them out alittle...LOL

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Vanilla to rocky road? - 5/23/2007 10:02:23 AM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kauna

For the purposes of this thread, I am vanilla.  A little curious - but still vanilla.  (Forget for a moment that I have an intense desire to be a slave.)  My question is this:  how does one broach the topic of slavery with the people in her life that she cares about?  I have a dear friend with whom I believe I could have a satisfying M/s relationship, but... I'm afraid to tell Him about my secret yearnings.  I'm not so much worried of what He'll say or think... it's really just knowing HOW to say it that has me fearful.  I don't want it to be the end of an otherwise-great friendship.  Any suggestions?  Oh, and if you need more info, please don't hesitate to ask!

~kauna~


I dont.
Slavery is a difficult "concept" to clarifiy or demystify.
Submission is as well, but much easier to discuss.
IMHO, one is a slave if the D says you are...  and even in that context, while one might call herself a slave (oreven self identify as such) cause the D does, she might be a submissive to everyone else who looks in at the relationship objectively.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to kauna)
Profile   Post #: 10
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