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ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

There are several posts on ”cheating” here. Most sound like they are coming from a raw wound.

I’d like to create a thread on WHY people find themselves in extra marital relationships.

Take the premise that you are happily married. You come across the D/s world.  You present this concept to your spouse.  They try it and find it not their thing or they just totally discount it and won’t even consider it. 
                                                                                                        
Everything is perfect except this one aspect of your new found interest.  The spouse is happy; the kids are well taken care of all is in order.

You have no intention of wanting another spouse or leaving but, dammit, you want to check it all out!   So you meet someone who in the same situation.  Both are married, both honorable in all they meet in their obligations but both have this one nagging interest.  The situation would not be any threat to the respective relationships. 

This thought was provoked by a conversation with a long time acquaintance that I had not spoken to in 10 years. Way back then, he was looking for a Mistress. He’d go to a pro and drop $700 bucks an afternoon with none of the depth he hoped for.  He told me that he had been serving a gay master for the past few years and was very content. He is a straight male and enjoyed the “humiliation” of it and, face it, the male Gay community has it allover us with intensity when it comes to sceening and this is what he craved.  He wasn’t looking to “fall in love” with a dominant.  His situation guarantees this.  He considers him just a close friend and not a lover.  Does his wife need to know?

So what do you do?  Run to your spouse and tell them you have to do this and they will just have to accept it thus causing them unnecessary angst  or do you  explore it all with your new found ally, in the same situation, with discretion?

As an individual, do you give up all rights to your privacy in a relationship if it is something that is no threat to them?

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Intelligent opinions (which is what I am assuming you are stating you make for yourself)