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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/25/2007 7:26:16 AM

MsCece2u

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

The collar is given only one time & it is only taken away one time.

But with me, giving out a collar isn't like sharing mint candy. The significance of this item forces me to be very careful in who I would select to be mine.

I couldn't have stated it any better myself. The collar isn't a toy nor should it ever be used as a way to modify behavior. I have a girl that I have had under consideration for over a year and she has not recieved a collar as of yet because I happen to agree that it is significant step in our relationship. I have seen to many Dominants that will give a collar and snatch it back and it does something mentally to the submissive

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Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 11:28:05 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I know you're probably gonna get a lot of " don't ever do thats" probably. In my perspective, if she disobeys you, she is not fit to wear the symbol that you gave her to wear of her obedience to you. Like everyone in the world could go around wearing collars but what do they actually mean if there isnt some meaningful action behind it. Taking her collar of her will most likely be a traumatic experience for her, so if you did it you would have to at the same time offer a realistic working plan of how she could get it back.

There is a theory of belief that 'the punishment and rewards" system does not work in the long run to inspire and guide action, that our motivations for the things we do need to come from someplace else inside us. So I guess thats something to think about too.

It's really gonna come down to your relationship with her, how solid is it?

I have to agree with Mistress Passion whole heartedly, i'm choosing not to say anymore than that as it is a matter of how your "relationship" is set up but I will say that if mine were ripped away from me, i would see it as the relationship ending which only leads to self distruction on your sub or slaves end more than likely as a collar is very sacrificial and symbolic to subs and slaves both.

(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 11:41:02 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
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IF we ever take back a collar it history no running back begging,We collar for a lifetime,so it takes a serious breech of trust for us to take such a serious step.WE have had subs here trying to earn a collar for long periods and still working toward that goal.,,so you see we take the locking of a collar around a pretty neck almost a sacred thing..bounty

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Post #: 63

RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 11:46:22 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
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There is a big difference in not allowing one to wear your collar for a time ... to get them to refocus and removing one.

One makes a point and the other is a statement of finality to me ...

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to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

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Post #: 64

RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 1:30:46 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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For this Domme taking away your collar means you've been let go.
That is strictly My feeling...AND any submissive that loses his collar,has
done something really,really bad.I mean really bad.

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http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 2:01:09 PM

fetishnoob

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/23/2007
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i agree with you CL the collar isn't simply physical, it's a symbolic representation of the relationship, so i don't see how one could revoke a slaves collar and still continue the relationship

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/29/2007 3:03:09 PM

TopinPa

Posts: 111
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

I personally would never threaten my sub/slave with taking her collar back. I don't know what your sub did and it's just too hard to speculate about whatever the situation was or how I would deal with it.
Before I collar a sub/slave there would be an understanding that I don't make threats. Everyone makes mistakes and does dumb shit; for disobeying me there would be punishment. If something was done bad enough to take a collar back there would be no threats about it.

(in reply to ennaozzie)

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Post #: 67

RE: Revoking your subs collar - 5/31/2007 8:26:19 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It is a privilege to wear his collar - not my right. If my behavior does not show that I am worthy of the collar...then he has every right to remove it.

It does not signal the end of our relationship. However, I'd have to do something pretty terrible - or a whole series of less terrible bad things - for that to happen.

(in reply to SeargentDave)

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 6/5/2007 2:10:42 PM

MasterBRD

Posts: 23
Joined: 2/25/2007
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Simple disobedience should never be used as a reason to take a sub/slaves collar. Repeated infractions after the issue has been addressed and proper disciplinary actions have been taken may give you reason to consider it, but it should not be taken lightly.
As my girls will tell you...we take the collar more seriously than any other symbol of our commitments to each other.

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Post #: 69

RE: Revoking your subs collar - 6/5/2007 2:26:12 PM

eveningtwilight

Posts: 48
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline

I have to say, ouch. :( Take away her collar for disobeying? I would want to cry in anger and hopelessness!

Sometimes I like to upset him, just so I can be punished and relish in his amusements. Sometimes it is a playful game that makes me feel closer to him...but he knows it too.

Different for everyone in every situation, but I believed the collar to be equal to a wedding ring...very important. What is its value to you? To her? What did she have to go through to get the collar? Is all that work/time worth throwing away over one or two, or even 100 disgretions?? Depends on the offense I suppose...but big ouch in my book. Say "bye-bye sub! Find someone else who will commit to you more!"

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RE: Revoking your subs collar - 6/5/2007 3:02:05 PM

RaynaSub

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
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I agree with most here, you can take your subs collar away.
But that should be a permanent situation, not something you do over
and over again.
I don't think taking a collar, should be used as a form of punishment.

(in reply to MissHarlet)

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Post #: 71