RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet?

RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:27:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Do you honestly think this guy was interested in tea service? LOL....well he probably did want to see if she could soak his bag.

SadisticMan -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:32:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I can almost hear the conversation with his friend before he called you..... "Dom": Dude, I met this chick...she is really wild. Friend: Oh yeah? "Dom": Serious dude, she's is really kinky and shit. She's like...a.... a submissive ya know. Friend: What's that? "Dom": You know...she likes it real kinky and she is all about pleasing me and shit. Submissive. Friend: Ya lucky fucker! "Dom": Yeah, this chick will do anything I tell her to do. She even calls me Sir. Friend: Anything? Like what you mean? "Dom": Well, if I tell her to blow me she will just say "yes, Sir" and drop to her knees and go for it. Friend: Wow, that's fuckin awesome....will she let you fuck her in the ass? "Dom": Dude, I'm telling you....ANYTHING. That's what these....submissives....DO....anything for their Dominates....that's me....I am her Dominate because I dominate her. Friend: Well now I'm really curious....could you tell her to go down on another chick and she'd do that? "Dom": Duuuuuuuude......ANYthing. Friend: Fuck, I'd have to see it to believe it man....if you told her to blow me would she do that too? "Dom": Yeah.....if I told her to. Friend: Well what the hell are we doing here then man?...call her up and tell her we're coming over. LMAO !! the birth of a new "Dom", he'll be here on CM sporting his new K-mart dog chain, complete with equipment.

MissHarlet -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:36:59 AM)
OMG that Dude dialogue was too perfect and so funny I am still laughing. I will hear that in my head every time I encounter one of the so called Dominates. Thanks for starting my morning off with sore tummy muscles from laughing so hard.

RavenMuse -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:05:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx There's two types of dominants, if you want to boil it down that fine. The first group are those that consider the tenets of their role seriously. All about pleasing the Dom(me)/Master/Mistress. Whatever that person wants, they get. The feelings for the 'property' can be discounted or gone unacknowledged. In a word, selfish. The second group is more concerned about the growth of the submissive, the journey, especially with someone who is new. Things progress at a different pace, and the point is to make that new submissive comfortable in the choice that they have made (to submit). The attention is directed 'outward' from the dominant, rather than inward. In that case I'm a third type..... I'm selfish..... but I also look after what is Mine. I don't break My toys else I can't play with them again. The welfair and growth of My girl is one of those things that pleases Me, I take that into account when deciding what I will act on. If it won't harm her, I can and will demand it and expect compliance.... BUT I take great care to be sure that I DON'T harm her. My attention isn't on her, it isn't on ME... it is on BOTH of us.

earthycouple -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:09:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx There's two types of dominants, if you want to boil it down that fine. The first group are those that consider the tenets of their role seriously. All about pleasing the Dom(me)/Master/Mistress. Whatever that person wants, they get. The feelings for the 'property' can be discounted or gone unacknowledged. In a word, selfish. The second group is more concerned about the growth of the submissive, the journey, especially with someone who is new. Things progress at a different pace, and the point is to make that new submissive comfortable in the choice that they have made (to submit). The attention is directed 'outward' from the dominant, rather than inward. In that case I'm a third type..... I'm selfish..... but I also look after what is Mine. I don't break My toys else I can't play with them again. The welfair and growth of My girl is one of those things that pleases Me, I take that into account when deciding what I will act on. If it won't harm her, I can and will demand it and expect compliance.... BUT I take great care to be sure that I DON'T harm her. My attention isn't on her, it isn't on ME... it is on BOTH of us. Chants...."Go Raven, Go Raven, Go Raven" and I ditto your thought completely.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:26:46 AM)
Sounds like you might be mismatched. He wants what you do not want to do. You certainly have a right to bring up concerns. Sounds like you need to sit down and have a long talk about expectations and such.

lateralist1 -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:42:36 AM)
Perfect representation of the three broad types of Dominants. All equally valid if with the right partner. Slaves don't want to talk about it they just want you to do it to them. Or so they think . Best one I have ever heard is a Dom telling a sub that she was really a slave lol. Everyone can abuse. Everyone can be abused. All new relationships should be negotiated. But if you can get what you want without why bother? My answer is because I don't want to abuse and I want the relationship to last.

ITGirl68 -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 7:04:48 AM)
ROFL. While that may be an imagined conversation, it must really occur out in the world: I know that I have gone out with several such K-mart dog chain doms!

KatyLied -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 7:11:30 AM)
Erin.....[sm=biggrin.gif] Too bad it's probably what really happened in this situation.

OsideGirl -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 8:45:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: straponwings His response was that it wasn't a matter of my comfort and so I told him no and I think he changed his mind about coming over because of my response. Are you collared, contracted or owned? If so, probably you. But, this is something that I strongly recommend talking about and negotiating before you become collared, contracted or owned. If you're not collared, contracted or owned, then you had every right to say what you did. Matter of fact, I'd be having serious doubts about a play partner that just sprung something like this on me, and then pouted when I refused.

mistoferin -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 11:49:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Erin.....[sm=biggrin.gif] Too bad it's probably what really happened in this situation. Well if not in this one...I am quite sure similar conversations take place. I have heard a lot of men who hear about submissives and bdsm, suddenly become "Doms" and the next thing you know they are bragging and showing off their new "novelty".

KatyLied -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 12:07:31 PM)
Yep, I call them hit & run doms.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 12:09:34 PM)
They don't just do it with their male friends either. They do it with other fem subs- they get someone actually interested in them and they go "OK now I just need to grab another one and I can have that threesome fantasy!"

stoicism99 -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 2:10:59 PM)
My recommendation would be to find a group near you. Most groups I've attended have a 'no-sex' on the premises rule, and really look to educate their core group. Many look out for their 'newcomers' as well, helping to teach them what is acceptible and what is abuse/shady. Hope this helps.

straponwings -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:23:31 PM)
That's exactly what he keeps talking about! He doesn't even care who! He just... wants to grab somebody! I tried to talk about it with him today and he said that he was a "training" dom and that it was my place to do as he told me, whether I want to or not. How do I politely tell him that I don't want to continue this? I think... we're expecting two different things. I want to explore the lifestyle and he wants to "teach" me the sex.

jezzabelle -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:27:56 PM)
So he wants to train you on giving sexual favors to buddies of his? i think it's time to tell him to take a walk and find someone else. If he's just training you and doesn't own you then you don't have to do everything he says. Also, there are things called limits that he should respect, and if he doesn't, then you should get away from him as far as possible. Have the two of you discussed at all what your expectations are out of this relationship? Was this something he told you before was going to be expected of you?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 5:50:01 PM)
You say "We're in different places and this isn't working for me. I don't want to see you anymore" The end.

SwitchLasaire -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:18:24 PM)
Indeed. It sounds like it is time to hit the road. The first thing any responsible Dom/me should do with a new partner is discuss in great detail what both partners want, have done before, and are willing to try as new things. I'm a firm believer that something limit-pushing and new should never ever be tried without talking about it first. Later on in the relationship, when partners have more experience as a pair and have built a trusting, open relationship, I think most Dom/mes, myself included, will want to push things. Hopefully by that point there will be no surprises involved, and certainly no demands. I would never demand that my submissive do something, and hinge whether or not I kept him around on something he did or didn't do. Now, if I really wanted something, we talked about it, and he absolutely wasn't willing to do it, I might think about how much future this relationship had in the long run, but I wouldn't drop him and run, or play pouting games. If somebody did to me what your Dom did to you, I'd be heading for the hills. And I think you're giving him more service than he deserves by telling him politely and respectfully instead of just telling him to get the hell out.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:20:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I can almost hear the conversation with his friend before he called you..... "Dom": Dude, I met this chick...she is really wild. Friend: Oh yeah? "Dom": Serious dude, she's is really kinky and shit. She's like...a.... a submissive ya know. Friend: What's that? "Dom": You know...she likes it real kinky and she is all about pleasing me and shit. Submissive. Friend: Ya lucky fucker! "Dom": Yeah, this chick will do anything I tell her to do. She even calls me Sir. Friend: Anything? Like what you mean? "Dom": Well, if I tell her to blow me she will just say "yes, Sir" and drop to her knees and go for it. Friend: Wow, that's fuckin awesome....will she let you fuck her in the ass? "Dom": Dude, I'm telling you....ANYTHING. That's what these....submissives....DO....anything for their Dominates....that's me....I am her Dominate because I dominate her. Friend: Well now I'm really curious....could you tell her to go down on another chick and she'd do that? "Dom": Duuuuuuuude......ANYthing. Friend: Fuck, I'd have to see it to believe it man....if you told her to blow me would she do that too? "Dom": Yeah.....if I told her to. Friend: Well what the hell are we doing here then man?...call her up and tell her we're coming over. Ok i cant stop giggling not only because that is just too funny but also because it is most likely what went on!!!! Magik's slave

MagiksSlave -> RE: Abusive Master or stubborn pet? (5/24/2007 6:22:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: straponwings That's exactly what he keeps talking about! He doesn't even care who! He just... wants to grab somebody! I tried to talk about it with him today and he said that he was a "training" dom and that it was my place to do as he told me, whether I want to or not. How do I politely tell him that I don't want to continue this? I think... we're expecting two different things. I want to explore the lifestyle and he wants to "teach" me the sex. Then how is that different then a Master who owns you?? To me unless you are owned by him you are under no obligation to do as he said no matter what... looks like he saw fresh meat and desided to try and take advantage. Magik's slave

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