RE: Why Do Doms Do This?

RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

dogobedience -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/26/2007 4:31:26 PM)
Because many are not total doms. Nothing wrong with that, UNLESS you claim to be a REAL DOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MsRose -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/26/2007 6:09:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Here is a list of reasons I have been given by these men... they are not a list of my assumptions. (these of course are not direct quotes--just the gist of the conversations) 1) I'm rather well known & highly respected in my local community & they would never look at me the same way again if they were to know that I secretly wish to find a dominant woman to give myself to. If it all works out, I will be your slave behind closed doors & the rest of the world will see us to be dom-couple. We could even find a cute slave-girl we could co-top in public & you could even use her to put me in my place afterward. 2) I believe in female supremacy but I really enjoy topping. There is no way I would top a guy because I'm not gay. I fee so guilty after topping a woman that I need to be punished. Would you punish me for the error of my ways? 3) I have to put dominant on my profile because if I don't Gay men won't leave me alone. 4) I have to put dominant on my profile because if I don't all the other predators (i.e. tribute queens, fake profile folk, etc) online will get me. 5) Oh I don't know why my profile says dominant, I marked it submissive so the site must be screwed up. 6) Some days I feel dominate, some days I feel more slave... I just need someone to help me figure it all out & I thought you might be someone who would put me in my place. 7) I was told that in order to be a good dominant that I would need to learn how to be a good submissive, so what you say? Feel like spanking my bad boy bottom so I can go out & get me a naughty girl to spank? 8) I am very dominant at work. I've always been in control of what goes on around me at work. I figured that because of this I'm a dominant but I've always had fantasies about a woman doing "X Y & Z" to me. 9) Oh, I thought I contacted you from my other profile... should I go to that one & email you back? 10) Oh I figured that if I subbed for you that you might sub for me & we could have a lot of kinky sex with each other. The list could go on.... I concur with some of the reasons listed above by MstrssPassion. To me, it just smacks of confusion, particularly when the Dom wants to keep his intentions hidden from the community, and I'd just much rather have everything out in the open. I respectfully decline their propositions as I have no desire for or interest in a self-professed "Dom" working out his kinky inconsistencies with me.

Laura -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/26/2007 7:24:33 PM)
In my experience most men using the personals here are just looking for kinky sex. They don't know or care about Domming, submitting or anything except finding a woman to stick it to.

DominaSmartass -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/26/2007 9:29:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johntom571 Is this a trick question? I realize that my own definition of "Dom" may not be everyone's, but in my book, any "Dom" desiring to be secretly dominated is either a fake, or a switch in denial. JohnTom Wherease those doms who openly admit to being masochistic and/or having some submissive feelings to explore are much more real. In all seriousness, here, I'm not even being sarcastic. I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch." That's just the way I see things. I do agree with you on the secretive part though cause if someone isn't comfortable enough to OWN who they are and what they want then that's a problem.

DominaSmartass -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/26/2007 9:38:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Here is a list of reasons I have been given by these men... they are not a list of my assumptions. (these of course are not direct quotes--just the gist of the conversations) 1) I'm rather well known & highly respected in my local community & they would never look at me the same way again if they were to know that I secretly wish to find a dominant woman to give myself to. If it all works out, I will be your slave behind closed doors & the rest of the world will see us to be dom-couple. We could even find a cute slave-girl we could co-top in public & you could even use her to put me in my place afterward. ......... The list could go on.... LOL! So true! And regarding this first one in particular, I find it so absurd due to being part of the Leather community where one is more of an oddity if he/she didn't begin as a boy/girl/sub/slave before finding his/her inner Dom/Sir/Daddy/Master. The people I know who are "well known and highly respected" wouldn't even THINK of hiding the fact that they too have Sirs, or had in the past. To do so would be utterly disrespectful.

Wickad -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 12:55:19 AM)
I believe it's mainly the whole "I'm new to this so I had to put down that I was a Dom because all twue men are Doms but really ... I get turned on by the authoratative bitch in the porns I watch". The other reason is that they are lying and simply hoping to get a Dominant woman into a position where they can bully her in an attempt to dominante her. Sort of a cuddos for their ego. But .. after thinking about this for a moment, I once knew a man who really got off on the fight to dominate D-types. So much so that he would video tape himself being Dominated so that he could watch it for jerk off material. Pfffttt, who knows - lol! Wickad

MistressRouge -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 2:37:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 *Why do so many Doms contact Dominas with the secret petition to be a submissive?* I agree, I am inundated with messages from Dom Masters that wish to switch and become My sub/slave. Maybe they need a bit more training in the Dom department, or maybe sexually orientated lol [:)].

MHOO314 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 4:42:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Its probably just their raw, uncontrollable, overwhelming, tidal-waveish physical attraction to you. THAT is priceless! I think, much like Smythe and others mentioned, for some there is a stigma attached to admittting being a submissive---that tells Me they have not come to terms with that and are afraid of being called "weak, woosy, and worse". However there are the desparate wankers who will say anything to "get a chick"---[:'(] *smiles.*

DianeB269 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 4:49:24 AM)
Yes, I would like to know why too.....I get so many emails for male doms on the otherside asking me to train them. Diane

mnottertail -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 4:52:32 AM)
I just do it to trick them into having sex with me. I am a glorious man-pig and shall remain so to the end of my days. I can live with myself. Ron

DianeB269 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 4:54:55 AM)
Ron, I already know that.... Diane

mnottertail -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 5:13:45 AM)
LOL, I can always count on you to send a little tough love my way. Admiringly, Ron

DianeB269 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 5:16:15 AM)
hehehe Thank you......... Diane

MissHarlet -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 5:19:31 AM)
I choked on my coffee over the " Doms are just submissives that haven't found the right Domme, don't cha know :) "

LadyHeart -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 5:44:37 AM)
I would like to answer this question in two ways. If the original question referred to "Doms" in on line situations like CollarMe, then I would have to agree with most of what is written above. In fact, I'd go further - some guys will say anything to get kinky sex. Simple! But if the question referred to real time Doms, then I'd have to say it's a lot more complex. It's a bit like human sexuality - not nearly as black and white as people would like to believe, but lots of shades of grey. Why shouldn't a Dominant enjoy a sensual experience just because it is associated with being submissive? You're a Dom therefore you're not allowed to enjoy having your arse warmed up occasionally? Why the hell not? My very Dom husband who is a self confessed wuz when it comes to anything painful and who wouldn't be tied up if he was dead still enjoys fire cupping and light flogging around his head when he's wearing rubber. Does this make him a switch? I'd like to be around when you tell him so! Why put labels and limits on what Doms can and can't do? I gave this up after the day I participated in a scene where a gay pro Dom spent a happy afternoon bottoming to a heterosexual female pro Domme. He does it every now and again to relax, and it no more makes him a sub or a switch than it makes him straight in my book. :)) LadyHeart

Scheherazade -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 5:48:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass Wherease those doms who openly admit to being masochistic and/or having some submissive feelings to explore are much more real. In all seriousness, here, I'm not even being sarcastic. I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch." That's just the way I see things. I do agree with you on the secretive part though cause if someone isn't comfortable enough to OWN who they are and what they want then that's a problem. This is the best answer and otherwise we are simply going by an internet label. What the hell is that ? Seems there are a few who can't admit to being a switch and others all over that can't seem to admit being anything. Seems there a few more presumptions and predjudices still alive and well on this subject too.

Politesub53 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 6:56:41 AM)
The whole thing is like a rainbow, fully submissive or fully Dominant, and a thousand shades in between. I think as long as people are honest about motives, then there is nothing wrong in trying what you want. The problems start when you tell someone you are totally Dom/sub and thats not the case. [;)]

TheDiva -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 7:21:58 AM)
I've experienced this a few times and can only list the reasons that I've been given (or seen). One Dom was interested in a particular fetish that would traditionally be considered submissive. His approach to trying to get me interested in participating was originally in the vein of "this would be a learning proposition for you", then moved towards a do-me type thing. Then he got a little snitty because I didn't rearrange my schedule to chat with him as often as he would have liked. Both the profiles he contacted me from wound up being blocked. Others have said that they wanted to explore their submissive/bisexual side, and wouldn't feel comfortable doing so with anyone who knew them as a Dom. Then there have been a couple of "sure you don't wanna switch?" messages mixed in with a couple of generic damn-you-look-good's which I interpreted as generic come-ons, not necessarily an interest in approaching me for bdsm play.

DianeB269 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 7:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 The whole thing is like a rainbow, fully submissive or fully Dominant, and a thousand shades in between. I think as long as people are honest about motives, then there is nothing wrong in trying what you want. The problems start when you tell someone you are totally Dom/sub and thats not the case. [;)] I only have problems with subs and doms that tell me what they are gonna do to me and the ones that want sex in return. Diane

TheDiva -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 7:51:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DianeB269 I only have problems with subs and doms that tell me what they are gonna do to me and the ones that want sex in return. Diane I agree with that. I also have problems with anyone who comes across as disrespectful or demanding in any way. Otherwise, I'm also openminded as to who contacts me and why.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125