RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (Full Version)

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MsVivianTX -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 8:24:13 AM)

The Dom who contacts me wanting to submit is not as annoying as the Dom who decides my refusal to switch/bottom/submit is a challenge. Best wishes, Vivian



IwiltakeU -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 9:27:03 AM)

[:D]THOSE WHO CONTACT ME ARE WEAK THEY SEEM TO DESIRE TO NOT BE IN CONTROL THERE THOSE DOMES WHO ARE WHAT THEY ARE.  [sm=crop.gif]



Level -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 9:29:15 AM)

............thought LROD was here for a minute................[:D]



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 9:29:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Why do so many Doms contact Dominas with the secret petition to be a submissive?


They are secretly in denial. Denial means - don't even know i am lieing.

or... they are curious what its like to give up control. {goes off to ponder}



Smythe -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 7:14:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I thought I responded to this one, but I guess I didn't.

Why do some many dommes secretly ask to submit to doms? (I've developed my nifty Lam-word for that, by the way: it's called "flipping"--as in "Lam had a hell of a time flipping a domme the other night.")

There's always two sides to every story.



If a male dom wants to sub, I call that denial.
But if a Domme wants to "flip" I call that open minded. :)
Go figure

Smythe






Lordandmaster -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 8:54:33 PM)

Well, you're left-handed, arencha.



DommeDiana -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 8:57:33 PM)

They are the worst ! I have one that asks for a bJ !



Viridana -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/27/2007 9:02:23 PM)

I've come across a couple of guys who proclaim themselves as dom but at the same time are weathering their desires to be topped. I think in their cases the problem lies with that they connect "dom" with something masculine and are in fear that their masculinity will be put into question by admitting that they are subs or switches. 



Ayanaev717 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/28/2007 3:26:49 PM)

I have had the same experience. The same ones trying to contact me. First I believe they are really switches or some cyberstalker trying to test you out. And most of they are fakes.

I also have found that male subs are often so demanding. Like I own them something for having a chat. I am sure these subs would often fake being a Dom as well.

A



lovewithoutfear -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/28/2007 5:20:46 PM)

Domina Smartass wrote:
"I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch.""

Thank you for saying this.  Also thank you to Celeste43 for your compassionate interpretation of such requests.  I also think making it secret can be a sign that someone hasn't got their head on quite straight about things...but I definitely DON'T think occasional bottoming or submitting makes a Dom not a Dom, any more than topping or dominating makes me less a slave. 

I keep "slave" on my profile, although to anyone but Sir I'm actually a dominant-leaning switch, for 2 reasons.  One is that I'm primarily here to represent Sir as his property.  The other is the unfortunate possibility that I'll be swamped with mail from male subs if I id as a switch here. 

Good conversation!




johntom571 -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/30/2007 3:22:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

Is this a trick question?  I realize that my own definition of "Dom" may not be everyone's, but in my book, any "Dom" desiring to be secretly dominated is either a fake, or a switch in denial.
JohnTom


Wherease those doms who openly admit to being masochistic and/or having some submissive feelings to explore are much more real.


They may be "more real"; whether they are real "doms" is debatable

quote:


I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch."


I am reminded of 'Through the Looking Glass", when Alice meets the Red Queen, for whom words mean whatever she wishes them to, which of course is convenient for her and a source of confusion for others.  The problem with avoiding "labels" (iow, definitions) is that it confuses those feeble minded few of us unable to figure out people from the look on their face, or the side they part their hair.  If every one calls himself a Dom regardless of tastes, activity and behaviour, the title looses it significance.  IMHO.

JOHN



LadyHugs -> RE: Why Do Doms Do This? (5/30/2007 3:58:48 PM)

Dear MH00314, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I have read the posts made thus far and must agree to many who have posted why Dominant men contact a Dominant Woman and suddenly want to submit.  Mistress Passion's lists have looked like those I've had.
Most contacts have been for "Do Me" types and always for sexual giggles and grins for their satisfaction--not mine and or even better 'us' mentality.
 
There are some men, who feel that Female Dominants just haven't found the right Master.  When I run circles around them, they suddenly switch and want to be my slave/submissive--but, on their terms.  Clearly, the motives are selfish and clueless to the meaning of what work it takes to establish and maintain a D/s dynamic.  Mostly, its controlling and sex.  Too many porn movies and BDSM porn magazines and books.
 
On occasions, there are serious pleas to 'teach.'  I can understand that there are those who do not have the BDSM support and educational groups that some take for granted.  There really is a need for patience and understanding for those who are deprived of opportunities to learn.
 
What bothers me the most personally, are those who are dishonest about their intentions. 
 
Unfortunately, it just makes it extremely difficult for those who are honest and sincere.
 
Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



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