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RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/26/2007 4:31:26 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Because many are not total doms. Nothing wrong with that, UNLESS you claim to be a REAL DOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/26/2007 6:09:47 PM   
MsRose


Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Here is a list of reasons I have been given by these men... they are not a list of my assumptions. (these of course are not direct quotes--just the gist of the conversations)

1) I'm rather well known & highly respected in my local community & they would never look at me the same way again if they were to know that I secretly wish to find a dominant woman to give myself to. If it all works out, I will be your slave behind closed doors & the rest of the world will see us to be dom-couple. We could even find a cute slave-girl we could co-top in public & you could even use her to put me in my place afterward.

2) I believe in female supremacy but I really enjoy topping. There is no way I would top a guy because I'm not gay. I fee so guilty after topping a woman that I need to be punished. Would you punish me for the error of my ways?

3) I have to put dominant on my profile because if I don't Gay men won't leave me alone.

4) I have to put dominant on my profile because if I don't all the other predators (i.e. tribute queens, fake profile folk, etc) online will get me.

5) Oh I don't know why my profile says dominant, I marked it submissive so the site must be screwed up.

6) Some days I feel dominate, some days I feel more slave... I just need someone to help me figure it all out & I thought you might be someone who would put me in my place.

7) I was told that in order to be a good dominant that I would need to learn how to be a good submissive, so what you say? Feel like spanking my bad boy bottom so I can go out & get me a naughty girl to spank?

8) I am very dominant at work. I've always been in control of what goes on around me at work. I figured that because of this I'm a dominant but I've always had fantasies about a woman doing "X Y & Z" to me.

9) Oh, I thought I contacted you from my other profile... should I go to that one & email you back?

10) Oh I figured that if I subbed for you that you might sub for me & we could have a lot of kinky sex with each other.

The list could go on....


I concur with some of the reasons listed above by MstrssPassion. To me, it just smacks of confusion, particularly when the Dom wants to keep his intentions hidden from the community, and I'd just much rather have everything out in the open. I respectfully decline their propositions as I have no desire for or interest in a self-professed "Dom" working out his kinky inconsistencies with me.


_____________________________

"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/26/2007 7:24:33 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		In my experience most men using the personals here are just looking for kinky sex. They don't know or care about Domming, submitting or anything except finding a woman to stick it to. 

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/26/2007 9:29:25 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

Is this a trick question?  I realize that my own definition of "Dom" may not be everyone's, but in my book, any "Dom" desiring to be secretly dominated is either a fake, or a switch in denial.
JohnTom


Wherease those doms who openly admit to being masochistic and/or having some submissive feelings to explore are much more real. In all seriousness, here, I'm not even being sarcastic. I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch." That's just the way I see things. I do agree with you on the secretive part though cause if someone isn't comfortable enough to OWN who they are and what they want then that's a problem.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/26/2007 9:38:15 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Here is a list of reasons I have been given by these men... they are not a list of my assumptions. (these of course are not direct quotes--just the gist of the conversations)

1) I'm rather well known & highly respected in my local community & they would never look at me the same way again if they were to know that I secretly wish to find a dominant woman to give myself to. If it all works out, I will be your slave behind closed doors & the rest of the world will see us to be dom-couple. We could even find a cute slave-girl we could co-top in public & you could even use her to put me in my place afterward.

.........

The list could go on....


LOL! So true!

And regarding this first one in particular, I find it so absurd due to being part of the Leather community where one is more of an oddity if he/she didn't begin as a boy/girl/sub/slave before finding his/her inner Dom/Sir/Daddy/Master. The people I know who are "well known and highly respected" wouldn't even THINK of hiding the fact that they too have Sirs, or had in the past. To do so would be utterly disrespectful.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 12:55:19 AM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		I believe it's mainly the whole "I'm new to this so I had to put down that I was a Dom because all twue men are Doms but really ... I get turned on by the authoratative bitch in the porns I watch".

The other reason is that they are lying and simply hoping to get a Dominant woman into a position where they can bully her in an attempt to dominante her.  Sort of a cuddos for their ego.

But .. after thinking about this for a moment, I once knew a man who really got off on the fight to dominate D-types.  So much so that he would video tape himself being Dominated so that he could watch it for jerk off material. 

Pfffttt, who knows - lol!

Wickad

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 2:37:25 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Why do so many Doms contact Dominas with the secret petition to be a submissive?


I agree, I am inundated with messages from Dom Masters that wish to switch and become My sub/slave.

Maybe they need a bit more training in the Dom department, or maybe sexually orientated lol .

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 4:42:08 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Its probably just their raw, uncontrollable, overwhelming, tidal-waveish physical attraction to you.


THAT is priceless!  I think, much like Smythe and others mentioned, for some there is a stigma attached to admittting being a submissive---that  tells Me they have not come to terms with that and are afraid of being called  "weak, woosy, and worse".  However there are the desparate wankers who will say anything to "get a chick"---
 
smiles.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 4:49:24 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I would like to know why too.....I get so many emails for male doms on the otherside
asking me to train them.


Diane

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 4:52:32 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I just do it to trick them into having sex with me.  I am a glorious man-pig and shall remain so to the end of my days.  I can live with myself.


Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 4:54:55 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Ron, I already know that....


Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 5/27/2007 4:55:22 AM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 5:13:45 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL,

I can always count on you to send a little tough love my way.

Admiringly,
Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 5:16:15 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		hehehe

Thank you.........


Diane

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 5:19:31 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		I choked on my coffee over the " Doms are just submissives that haven't found the right Domme, don't cha know :) "



_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 5:44:37 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I would like to answer this question in two ways. If the original question referred to "Doms" in on line situations like CollarMe, then I would have to agree with most of what is written above. In fact, I'd go further - some guys will say anything to get kinky sex. Simple!
But if the question referred to real time Doms, then I'd have to say it's a lot more complex. It's a bit like human sexuality - not nearly as black and white as people would like to believe, but lots of shades of grey. Why shouldn't a Dominant enjoy a sensual experience just because it is associated with being submissive? You're a Dom therefore you're not allowed to enjoy having your arse warmed up occasionally? Why the hell not? My very Dom husband who is a self confessed wuz when it comes to anything painful and who wouldn't be tied up if he was dead still enjoys fire cupping and light flogging around his head when he's wearing rubber. Does this make him a switch? I'd like to be around when you tell him so! Why put labels and limits on what Doms can and can't do? I gave this up after the day I participated in a scene where a gay pro Dom spent a happy afternoon bottoming to a heterosexual female pro Domme. He does it every now and again to relax, and it no more makes him a sub or a switch than it makes him straight in my book.
:))
LadyHeart

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 5:48:16 AM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Wherease those doms who openly admit to being masochistic and/or having some submissive feelings to explore are much more real. In all seriousness, here, I'm not even being sarcastic. I believe that most people are more complex than any one "dom" or "sub" label can capture and thus it is perfectly cohesive with my world view that a man or woman could simultaneously be a slave to one and master to another or master of one and slave to another without identifying as a "switch." That's just the way I see things. I do agree with you on the secretive part though cause if someone isn't comfortable enough to OWN who they are and what they want then that's a problem.


This is the best answer and otherwise we are simply going by an internet label. What the hell is that ? Seems there are a few who can't admit to being a switch and others all over that can't seem to admit being anything. Seems there a few more presumptions and predjudices still alive and well on this subject too.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 6:56:41 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The whole thing is like a rainbow, fully submissive or fully Dominant, and a thousand shades in between. I think as long as people are honest about motives, then there is nothing wrong in trying what you want. The problems start when you tell someone you are totally Dom/sub and thats not the case.

(in reply to Scheherazade)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 7:21:58 AM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline 		I've experienced this a few times and can only list the reasons that I've been given (or seen).

One Dom was interested in a particular fetish that would traditionally be considered submissive. His approach to trying to get me interested in participating was originally in the vein of "this would be a learning proposition for you", then moved towards a do-me type thing. Then he got a little snitty because I didn't rearrange my schedule to chat with him as often as he would have liked. Both the profiles he contacted me from wound up being blocked.

Others have said that they wanted to explore their submissive/bisexual side, and wouldn't feel comfortable doing so with anyone who knew them as a Dom.

Then there have been a couple of "sure you don't wanna switch?" messages mixed in with a couple of generic damn-you-look-good's which I interpreted as generic come-ons, not necessarily an interest in approaching me for bdsm play.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 7:29:55 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

The whole thing is like a rainbow, fully submissive or fully Dominant, and a thousand shades in between. I think as long as people are honest about motives, then there is nothing wrong in trying what you want. The problems start when you tell someone you are totally Dom/sub and thats not the case.



I only have problems with subs and doms that tell me what they are gonna do to me and
the ones that want sex in return.


Diane

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why Do Doms Do This? - 5/27/2007 7:51:50 AM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

I only have problems with subs and doms that tell me what they are gonna do to me and the ones that want sex in return.


Diane


I agree with that. I also have problems with anyone who comes across as disrespectful or demanding in any way. Otherwise, I'm also openminded as to who contacts me and why.

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 40
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