darkinshadows
Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004 From: UK Status: offline
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quote:
It is odd that some, our "own", are so insistent with trying to keep clearcut definitions from surfacing. WE are the ones who make the rules, WE are the rulemakers. No one from the nilla world, Webster included, is going to come in and tell us who is right and who is wrong..the only way this is done is for everyone to agree that something MEANS a specific thing. I have witnessed and been involved in this same discussion countless times and all I ever get out of it is that most folks know what they are talking about while a few simply want to stir the pot. If we would simply agree on the definitions, then we could persuade others to see what we mean, then eventually the topic would be done once and for all. But why do we need to justify what we are? This I just cannot understand. All the time, people say - 'you are what you are.' You choose a 'label' - a name - a distinction... and its personal... do it the way you want... individual choice etcetcetc... Then, the next minute... its... 'ah... but there are clear definitions - we must make those definitions stick... it's our job to make the rules.' I swear - the minute I have to submit to someone elses rules other than Demon, or to somone who I don't know or want to submit to - is the day I walk out of the Lifestyle. There shouldn't be a group mentality - we aren't making BDSM into some religious community which dictates and seperates those that don't fit our 'ideals' - it would make wiitwd no different than the life outside of wiitwd. It would make it regimented, ruleridden and extremist. We need to support each other - not turn our backs because a person doesn't fit our 'ideals' - not ridicule someone or say they are wrong because it doesn't conform - all I can see is that people are beginning to segregate - you'll end up with different sects - different denominations that will stiffle, not enhance wiitwd - and all the time - these discussions within ourselves are only making it harder. Why must we choose a definition - you say the majority yet, its quite clear its pretty 50-50... or else we wouldn't be discussing. Look through the profiles... slaves, dominants, subs, switches, masters, mistress' - no one can prove to anyone else they are what they say they are, because we all see each thing different. You claim to be a dominant - yet you aren't that to me(no offense intended). Emerald is a slave - but if she wasn't already owned - some here would dismiss her as foolish.... M'Lady A sometimes bottoms(see relevant thread) yet, shes no switch - she is a very dominant female who is highly respected within the community... I should be a slave by definition - but I am not by Demons choice.... cheryl is a sub by nature, a slave at heart but to me? - she is a very dear friend and yes - sister because I have grown to trust her. I know Masters with slaves, but they are not master to me - they are Mike, or Jon or Chris... Sure, slaves are owned. But by what? By a Man? A Woman? A Lifestyle? Every damn definition is different... every 'BDSM Bible' is different and alters over time. Things evolve. All I can see is that people don't want to evolution of the slave to occur - but it already has, way before any of us were even born. And it will continue to do so - no matter how much you want to try and fight it. He is a Master - He claims to be one, yet has no slave - yet in His heart His slave is still with Him, even though she died two years ago... are you wanting to take that away from Him? It isn't up to us to change the definitions - maybe make new ones - but you can't change the definitions - you evolve with them. We as a group havent got the power of each and everyone of us to say exactly what must be. But we as a group should stand by each other and accept the individual even when we cant understand their viewpoint. Peace and Love
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.dark. ...i surrender to gravity and the unknown... |