RE: when to walk away ??

RE: when to walk away ?? (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 8:19:06 AM)
quote: My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship, I tried not to say anything. Did you not realize what you were signing on for? He has a primary relationship and you are a side dish. Did he make promises to you that at some point in time you would become primary? If you became primary, wouldn't you always wonder what was going on with him and who he was seeing on the side? This is probably a pattern with him. Just some things to think about. I doubt anything would change if you magically became his primary partner.

shyinini -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 8:23:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver I have an un popular view about ~love~. I do not see it as multi dementional. It's something you give, it can be accepted, but it can not be taken. If it is not returned or returned in the fashion you want it to be, the love you give is still there. It doesnt go away because you've made a poor choice, or because you want it to. Now with that said......... it seems you've gone and gotten yourself involved with someone who in some way is attached. I'm not going to lecture you about the wisdom of your choice. It happens. But I feel your mistake was believing more could come from this relationship. You chose to believe ~words~. Walk away? You can distance yourself physically. But there is no switch for emotion. You can not un-do yesterday. All you can do is build and better yourself. Take the knowledge you've gained from this experiance and keep it in the forefront as you travel the path your on so you dont make the same mistake over and over again. And hold precious the fact that you ~loved~ and wanted to give even if it didnt turn out the way you wanted it to. .................. Hugs Very well stated Q.... Excellent advice and viewpoint.

pinksugarsub -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 8:46:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship, but after 6 months im still waiting and have realised it will never change. I have grown and become strong and my submissive side has even suprised me, my need to submit has gone beyond being satisfied from a few snatched hours when master can sneak away. I told him the only reason ive hung around waiting for him is that he promised he would end his relationship early on as there was nothing left, but hes still there! I cannot go on deceiving myself and his partner, this isnt what being submissive is about for me im looking for a ltr which he promised, but reality has hit me and i need to decide if its time to move on? any genuine advice woukld be good as this is so difficult as i love him dearly which ive told him , he says he loves me but im struggling to cope with this situation. yr first issue will prolly be with yrself; thinking about Him all the time; wondering what He's feeling; trying to decide whether to re-contact Him. That i cannot help you with; yr F/friends are gonna have to rally round and be there for you when you feel weak. However, to end it with Him, simply say "i'm moving on" and then end all contact immediately. Phone, email, IM...use block or ignore if necessary. i'm terribly sorry yr in this position, but try to focus on the one thing you do know about Him: He lies to get what He wants. That kind of Man isn't good enough for you.

domiguy -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 8:48:39 AM)
When I was married I would often find myself in the situation described by the op....Well...Umm..I was the guy described by the op....Yes, the majority of attached men say they are going to leave their wives or significant others.....And we will say at some point we will end the relationship.....However, all to often it is when our spouses catch wind of our wonderful new romance...For some reason they are rarely pleased. Ooooh, before I forget, here is the important part...When we say that we love or care about "you".....In this case whenever you hear the word "you" always remember to substitute in it's place...."your cunt," "your mouth" or "your tits and ass".... etc ..And this way you will have at least a better understanding of just how important "you" are and deeply and strongly we feel about "you."

puella -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 8:59:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub i'm terribly sorry yr in this position, but try to focus on the one thing you do know about Him: He lies to get what He wants. That kind of Man isn't good enough for you. I do not mean to seem snarky, but I really do think that it is important for this person to realise that she is a liar and a cheater too, and that this 'position' she is in is one she knowingly put herself into (unlike the wife who is getting fucked over unknowingly by the both of them). He is not the only liar in this relationship, and until she decides to import more integrity based standards for herself, he is about as good a man as she deserves. You reap what you sow.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 9:00:48 AM)
Experience shows any man who desires to cheat with you, is capable of cheating ON you. Not someone who honors committments. It's not really up to you to judge his character, but you do need to look at yours and decide what you can live with as far as your own self worth goes...

mistoferin -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 9:04:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Ooooh, before I forget, here is the important part...When we say that we love or care about "you".....In this case whenever you hear the word "you" always remember to substitute in it's place...."your cunt," "your mouth" or "your tits and ass".... etc ..And this way you will have at least a better understanding of just how important "you" are and deeply and strongly we feel about "you." Are you trying to say that what these men are really saying is that when they say they love you "deeply" they really mean on average about 6 inches "deeply". (Of course, taking into consideration the "domidong", we would have to considerably up that measurement for you)

domiguy -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 9:49:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Ooooh, before I forget, here is the important part...When we say that we love or care about "you".....In this case whenever you hear the word "you" always remember to substitute in it's place...."your cunt," "your mouth" or "your tits and ass".... etc ..And this way you will have at least a better understanding of just how important "you" are and deeply and strongly we feel about "you." Are you trying to say that what these men are really saying is that when they say they love you "deeply" they really mean on average about 6 inches "deeply". (Of course, taking into consideration the "domidong", we would have to considerably up that measurement for you) Now I think we are getting somewhere!!!...Exactly! When you are seeing someone who is married/attached you are just a substitute for their hand.....Well actually you are not as nearly as important as my hand.....Last time I looked there were a bazillion subs on CM....And I only have two hands...Just enough to juggle several women.

drawntothedark -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 9:52:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: puella quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub i'm terribly sorry yr in this position, but try to focus on the one thing you do know about Him: He lies to get what He wants. That kind of Man isn't good enough for you. I do not mean to seem snarky, but I really do think that it is important for this person to realise that she is a liar and a cheater too, and that this 'position' she is in is one she knowingly put herself into (unlike the wife who is getting fucked over unknowingly by the both of them). He is not the only liar in this relationship, and until she decides to import more integrity based standards for herself, he is about as good a man as she deserves. You reap what you sow. I couldn't agree more.

smilingjaguar -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 9:59:35 AM)
Yeah, what Puella said. To answer your question, you walk away when he says "I'm married".

onestandingstill -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:06:10 AM)
I empathize with you. I too would not be able to trust him, or have an emotionally healthy relationship with him due to his breach of trust with his 1st gal. I think you do indeed know what you need to do. I also understand how hard it is to walk away from someone you connect with due to extenuating circumstances beyond your control to change or cope with. I'd lay my money on the side of he's a cheater and had no intentions of doing more with you than sneaking around behind her back. Most women in relationships with cheaters say their guy said the same things about just need to finish with such and such then I can end my current relationship with the old gal stuff. Over all I personally could not trust him as if he's cheating and deceptive to his last gal that would lead me to believe there's a high likelihood he'll repeat his patterns. I don't prefer to date any one who is not in control of his life or doing things in shadows. I think the relationship is potentially injurious to you. Good luck with your choice and your future. suzanne

lateralist1 -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:09:47 AM)
When you get married for regular sex and you don't get it you look elsewhere. And unless it's a better option you don't change the situation. You tried you failed now you have to get over it. Very few men leave their wives and some of the ones that do end up regretting it. What usually happens in the end I think is that their wives leave them if they can. Of course I maybe wrong it's just my impression.

lovewithoutfear -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:29:37 AM)
"My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship" But what has he taught you, that it's OK to be out of integrity with someone one has made promises to? That in his frame of reference deceit is acceptable? Yick. How can you trust him? JoyfulYes

bliss1 -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:32:22 AM)
Part of a D/s relationship is trust in what your partner says. Since he has already shown you that he does not keep his word (I bet he has a good reason each time you ask also). I would ask myself; even though I love this person, is this what I really want?

lilFrancesca -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:45:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship, but after 6 months im still waiting and have realised it will never change. I have grown and become strong and my submissive side has even suprised me, my need to submit has gone beyond being satisfied from a few snatched hours when master can sneak away. I told him the only reason ive hung around waiting for him is that he promised he would end his relationship early on as there was nothing left, but hes still there! I cannot go on deceiving myself and his partner, this isnt what being submissive is about for me im looking for a ltr which he promised, but reality has hit me and i need to decide if its time to move on? any genuine advice woukld be good as this is so difficult as i love him dearly which ive told him , he says he loves me but im struggling to cope with this situation. I'm new to all this, but he sounds to me, to be a man that just wanted to have an affair without the responsibilities of a real relationship. He made promises to you and failed to live up to them, he doesn't have your best interest at heart. Not very "Dominate" if you ask me. If it was myself in your situation... I'D DUMP HIM and find a real Dom. He sounds like another dirtbag to me. sheepishly bowing my head and hoping this is not taken the wrong way. Be true to yourself first.[;)]

lilFrancesca -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:52:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: puella quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub i'm terribly sorry yr in this position, but try to focus on the one thing you do know about Him: He lies to get what He wants. That kind of Man isn't good enough for you. I do not mean to seem snarky, but I really do think that it is important for this person to realise that she is a liar and a cheater too, and that this 'position' she is in is one she knowingly put herself into (unlike the wife who is getting fucked over unknowingly by the both of them). He is not the only liar in this relationship, and until she decides to import more integrity based standards for herself, he is about as good a man as she deserves. You reap what you sow. OUCH!!! I guess the truth hurts though. Time to learn from your mistakes and move on. Although your comment seems cold at first, it is well said and deserved.

onegoodgirl -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 10:52:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bustysubmissive My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship, but after 6 months im still waiting and have realised it will never change. I have grown and become strong and my submissive side has even suprised me, my need to submit has gone beyond being satisfied from a few snatched hours when master can sneak away. I told him the only reason ive hung around waiting for him is that he promised he would end his relationship early on as there was nothing left, but hes still there! I cannot go on deceiving myself and his partner, this isnt what being submissive is about for me im looking for a ltr which he promised, but reality has hit me and i need to decide if its time to move on? any genuine advice woukld be good as this is so difficult as i love him dearly which ive told him , he says he loves me but im struggling to cope with this situation. My heart goes out to you :(... like the others have said, a man rarely leaves his primary.. and the hurt never goes away. You'll either have to accept position as secondary or move on.. Personally, I would not trust him to stay loyal to you, even in the event he did leave to be with you, simply because of his dishonesty. Best of luck hon.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 12:17:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovewithoutfear "My current master has taught me well and promised to end his current relationship" But what has he taught you, that it's OK to be out of integrity with someone one has made promises to? That in his frame of reference deceit is acceptable? Yick. How can you trust him? JoyfulYes Exactly.

velvetears -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 1:22:12 PM)
hides the tar and feathers from the morality police RUN busty RUN... as fast as you can!

puella -> RE: when to walk away ?? (5/24/2007 1:31:59 PM)
Uh huh, nice try velvetears. If you look at the reasons things were said, you really have no argument here.

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