RE: What Would YOU Do?

RE: What Would YOU Do? (Full Version)

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earthycouple -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 7:58:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I have to say I would have stopped the scene immediately. I've been known to do it before on incidents not nearly as obvious as this. No one, and I mean NO ONE hurts My boys, either physically or emotionally, that is not acceptable. Since you can not change the night, what I would think you are now left with is what I will call damage control, for lack of a better term. This is obviously bothering you. It may also be bothering your submissive. Step back and regroup. For one, get the trust issue back in order. My suggestion would be to instruct your submissive that you won't be inviting anyone to join you in playing with him, whether it is a "friend" or not, at least for a little while. When the time period you have decided on is over, and you are willing to let someone join again, change your negotiation process a bit. Don't let it be just anyone who you know about by 'word of mouth' for their reputation. Make sure it is someone you know. Someone you have participated with in scenes with you that went well before is usually a good bet. Prior to play, make sure you go over the details of what is and what isn't acceptable. It wouldn't hurt to let your submissive observe this, or even contribute to it for his reassuracne. As for his Domme "friend", I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't hear from her for a bit. Not important in the least. Much more important to get your own house in order. I agree here, LadyPact. I am asked all the time by new communicators if I "allow others to use" them. I always answer no. I simply do not trust anyone enough to care for my ward the way I can. Do I rationally know that people can? Of course. Does that change how I feel? Not one bit. The closest I will come to sharing or allowing Robert to be used by another is if a VERY close friend of MINE wants to use him as a BOTTOM for a demo of some sort and I am right there to watch. It would be fully discussed first and the now "top" would know what MY limits are for HER with him. I would not ever say what Robert's limits are (those are his to have). I put needles in his skin, I cut him, I cause blood. No one else will be doing that with him, not now, not in a year, not ever. Can Robert speak up for himself? Of course he can. Would Robert allow another dominant to put needles in him? Maybe. Would he use his faculties to determine if this person was capable and safe? Absolutely. Would I still go nutzoid over it? Yes. He's mine and I choose to retain that control.

MHOO314 -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:03:05 AM)
Very clear agreement before hand as to what is allowed and not allowed--then a simple, " thank You. Your work here is finished--oh and if you ever touch him again, You will find Yourself with a one way ticket as the plaything of LAM"....

PairOfDimes -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:05:36 AM)
If nobody told this woman that scratches that break skin were off limits, then she didn't violate any agreement and so wasn't out of line. However, since it appears that you three had very different expectations, as others have written, you might want to work on negotiating more fully and more clearly before you play. That, I would argue, is the learning experience here. Also, just because a person is pleasant and friendly doesn't mean that he or she has a play style compatible with yours. People can be pleasant, friendly, sane, safe practitioners of BDSM without being compatible with you. Remember, if you're co-topping, the tops need to be compatible with one another as well as with the bottom(s).

MstrssScarlet -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:21:44 AM)
Looks like I need to clarify things again. The other domme is/was a friend of my submissive's - nothing more, nothing less. He had been to several parties where they were both in attendance and had seen each other play. Yes, she knew his safeword, but he didn't use it. She was attending an event with us and had no submissive with her so we went as a threesome. We drove there together, had dinner together, and then went to the party. I asked my sub what previous experiences with her were like and all he told me was that she tended to take over a scene. I was prepared for this. I was NOT prepared for her to do something so drastic before we had hardly started. Yes I could have grabbed her and pulled her off and caused a big scene, but I was trying my best to be tactful considering the circumstances while still trying to protect him from any further harm - which I did. I have already stated in an earlier post that I have made it very clear to my sub that this domme will never be allowed to play with him again. I RARELY share him as he is perfectly happy with the experiences he has with me. Trust has already been established. He realizes that I literally had no time to react and does not blame me. I hope this helps. Mistress Scarlet

mistoferin -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:26:40 AM)
I really was not trying to be offensive. I was attempting to offer a different perspective, that of a submissive who has been in that scenario. I thought it might be helpful to see how others have approached this issue for your future reference.

MstrssScarlet -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:54:29 AM)
No offense taken. It just seemed like people were starting to wander and not reading all of my posts. I should add that we did discuss what kind of play we were going to engage in over a long, leisurely dinner. Unfortunately, I did not specifically state "No raking your nails down his back hard enough to break the skin!" Mistress Scarlet

MstrssPassion -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:58:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet At a recent play party, I attended with my collared submissive and a domme friend of his. I'd met her once before and we got along pretty well. It was agreed that all three of us would be playing together that night. No sooner did we get my submissive secured when the other domme stepped up behind him. I haven't even read the rest of your post but I can tell you right now... this is where the mistake was made. This is your collared sub. It is your responsibility to see to their safety when engaged in a scene. You did not know this woman, her styles or anything & his knowledge is not good enough. You did not negotiate a scene, you just let her her jump in with not parameters. If any harm comes from this scene it is completely your fault & that, sorry to be so blunt, is the facts. I have a huge group of very close friends who I have known for years, people I have co-topped with, people who's play styles I know very well, people I trust but NEVER will I allow them to interact with my submissive without clearly defining what is allowed & what is not allowed. quote: I watched in horror as she raked her long, sharp nails down his back - breaking the skin. My sub never used his safe word, but I was not happy with what she had done (to say the least). Mistake number two... you are completely within your right to stop this scene. quote: Because he hadn't used his safe word and they were close friends, I did not pull her off right away. I redirected her to some different play that was within the limits of my sub and I. I played very lightly with him the rest of the evening on account of her actions. I apologized to my submissive for not protecting him from this, but I didn't even have time to react. SHE has since called him and apologized, but has not contacted me as he requested. It's too late for me to do anything but refuse to allow her to play with him again. My question is: What would YOU have done? No criticism required here...I already feel terrible about what happened and learned my lesson with this particular domme. Mistress Scarlet You can view my post as criticism if you wish but it is meant as corrective criticism. Your right, you screwed up big time. I don't understand why you did nothing when this scene went beyond your limits. I'm sure she felt she was completely within her right to do as she did because she was not told by you what her limits were. I assume when she first found out that she had offended you she was shocked because you allowed her to proceed after ripping him open. Your sentiment of "learned my lesson with this particular domme" is misdirected because you did not do what you should have done as a domme to ensure the safety of your submissive in the first place. The tough lesson here is accepting the fact that you did you screw up but understanding that this is something that anyone is capable of doing but only once.... & I'm sure you will never ever have a situation such as this arise again. Thats it for you because the focus of this scenario should not be about you... the big issue here is how is your submissive dealing with this? Is blood/broken flesh a hard limit for him? It would be a good idea to make sure that you have not broken his trust in you & it would be a good idea to not engage in any co-top situations until any breach of trust that may have resulted in this has been completely resolved.

mnottertail -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 9:04:28 AM)
So, everything about it is iffy. But right now? If the fucker don't call me back, or show up to discuss it, then that one is out of the circle, ignored and flushed. Now regarding your horror at this nail thing, you are in a no fault state called BDSM, and many take it to mean that if you specifically state that you will not eat shit, shit eating is ok.......know what I mean? So the misunderstanding is equal and mutual. I would not be hot under the collar at it, but would be less circumspect in my discourse with casual sharing of my shit. Say for instance I am a vegan (that ain't ever gonna happen)--- but you don't fundamentally understand it or know it----- you borrow a cup of sugar from me, and I loan that cup, in the meantime you use it to save some ham juice or whatever---- then you bring it back and say, oh sorry that it took so long to bring it back but I used it to defat some ham juice and forgot it in the dishwasher a couple days later............ who should be freaked? who is at fault? should recriminations be in the offing or should there be a win-win communication? There ain't no concrete answers in human relations, you gotta consider and wing it. Ron

MstrssPassion -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 9:17:08 AM)
ok, so you have now said you did negotiate... tip: develop better negotiating skills because they were obviously lacking in this scenario. None of us know what was said & maybe too much attention was spent discussing things that really didn't apply to the scene because stating limits is not something that requires hours of conversation over dinner.. most often limits can be clearly stated in 5 minutes or less. Then you continue defending this that he didn't use his safeword... does this mean he controls the scene? Does this mean if he starts flying & things take him to a level where cannot speak, you will continue to beat the daylights out of him because he didn't use his safe word... it's his fault things weren't stopped? You say you are his dominant... time to step up & be such. You are in control & you are completely within your right to stop a scene regardless as to what is going on. You don't owe anyone an explanation on this fact. It's good to see you write that he has told you that he still trusts you & views this all as a big mistake & a lesson to be learned from but it still looks as though you are trying to push the fault all on this woman rather than step up & admit you made a mistake... your gut told you to stop the session but you were more worried about what others might think by you doing so rather than what was best for your submissive. There was no need to cause a scene, all you needed to do was tell her to step away.. she was done & that you would talk to here after you tended to your sub back. Personally I would rather insult/piss off every person at a party than ever have my submissive face harm & then not be able to look at me with complete trust & respect.

petal7 -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 9:55:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet At a recent play party, I attended with my collared submissive and a domme friend of his. I'd met her once before and we got along pretty well. It was agreed that all three of us would be playing together that night. No sooner did we get my submissive secured when the other domme stepped up behind him. I watched in horror as she raked her long, sharp nails down his back - breaking the skin. My sub never used his safe word, but I was not happy with what she had done (to say the least). Because he hadn't used his safe word and they were close friends, I did not pull her off right away. I redirected her to some different play that was within the limits of my sub and I. I played very lightly with him the rest of the evening on account of her actions. I apologized to my submissive for not protecting him from this, but I didn't even have time to react. SHE has since called him and apologized, but has not contacted me as he requested. It's too late for me to do anything but refuse to allow her to play with him again. My question is: What would YOU have done? No criticism required here...I already feel terrible about what happened and learned my lesson with this particular domme. Mistress Scarlet I'm not a dominant so I can't speak to that side of things. I can place myself in the shoes as the submissive and think that I would be horrified. This is probably one of the many reasons Master does not share His toys with others -- there are times when things could be out of his immediate control (though I imagine he would yank back control fairly fast in that kind of a situation) and he doesn't like to be out of control over something - especially when it's happening to His slave. As the submissive in that situation, I would have wanted my Master to stop the scene. I would think that the way the scene would have played out with He and I would have been Him stopping the scene, coming over to check on me and then quietly telling the other dom he was no longer welcome in the scene. What discussion ensued after I was safe, between Master and the other dominant would not be my business.

MsCameron -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 10:07:39 AM)
I'm not going to beat you up about this. I imagine you're doing more than enough of that to yourself. Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it? Could have.. should have.. Having been on both sides of the coin on this, the best thing I can say is deal with it, learn from it and move on. When you invite someone else in to play, there is always a risk that something may happen you didn't cover. Shit happens and mistakes happen. MC

WhiplashSmile -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 10:24:01 AM)
I think you've made it really clear what your thoughts and reactions were regarding what happened. My question is this? How does/did your submissive honestly think and feel about this experience? Did he enjoy or not enjoy having his back raked and skin broken? Mind you this did happen right away in a scene. I realize that the event did not sit well with you. However, did this exceed your submissives limits or not? I'm a little curious if he did not use the safeword because he enjoyed it or not. Perhaps it was done and over with before he could use a safewood. I'm a little curious with regards to this. Even though I'm a Dom I'm also Maso.. and I have enjoyed having fingernails racked down my back to the point it breaks the skin. Actually at times I find it's a bit of bitch convincing submissives to do this to, or some people are a little stunned that I want this and enjoy it. Again, I'm not submissive, however if a Domme or submissive or any women I'm play with was to do this early on in a scene, I personally would have enjoyed it. I'm just trying to feel out to how your submissives honest reaction or response was to what happened. I myself have never shared a submissive with another Dom/me at the same time. I think I would first want to sit down and plan out a scene with the other Dom/me before just doing a scene. Work out the details in advanced, this way there would have been no unexpected suprises. If the details were not worked out in advanced, I would have expected for permission to be asked in regards to WTF was being done to my submissive. I know I would not bit somebody elses submissive to the point of drawing blood without permission. I tend to be reather vocal during play anyways... I would have been vocal about my intentions.. and if anything it the submissive would be hearing my thoughts about how to use them.. i.e. saying to the other dom "What a beautiful back your sub has, I bet it would lovely with blood trinking down their back from.. blah blah blah"... even if the other Dom/me did not give me permission... the submissive would have been thinking to themselves.. "Holy shit...".. hahahaha... There are times when I threaten to do something.. or more like... speak out loud as if I'm trying to make up my mind.. "shall I use the flogger of your ass or pull out the clothes pins first.. MMmmmm....". Just a form of verbal mind fuck. Again, I'm not submissive.. However I enjoy having nails friggen raked down my back to the point of breaking skin and drawing blood. But this is just me. I don't anything about the mentality or mindset of your submissive. Your posts don't really reflect much upon how your submissive actually took this event. It's centered around your thoughts. Personally, I would have wanted to plan the scene in advanced or expected a lot of verbal interaction between me and the other Dom/me over WTF was happening to my sub/slave. In terms of my being attacked by a female Vampire (Domme or sub), if I found her not attractive in any sense.. I would have been wanting to beat her off.. and probally would have been bitch slapped in the face. LOL.. mind you slapped with the right anglar motions.. followed by making a complaint. Oh hell, if she was attactive.. Ummmm.. I don't know I might have enjoyed it.. and I might have bite back. Dare I admit it I enjoy agressive acts at times from women, but only if it's somebody that I feel an external spark from. Call me shallow! If I'm attacked I will either find the experience enjoyable or not. They'd better have their fingers crossed that I enjoy it or else.. Anybody that attacks me out of the blue.. they are asking for it either way. However again, I'm Dom.. and I would deal with according to my own reaction. If a vampire attacked my sub/slave without asking for permission first there would have been Hell to Pay and then some. Does not sit right in my mind at all. Regardless if my sub/slave enjoyed it or not. The whole point I have to make when playing with strangers for the first time, if things are not clearly talked about. It can go over really Great or really Bad. I think a smart vampire would stop look me in the eyes and ask if I mind being bitten, instead of lunging head long teeth first into my flesh. This way they would know what my reaction was going to be. I also tend to think any smart Domme would ask for permission first before raking fingers nails down the back of somebody's elses property or loved one. The majority of people I know don't enjoy having their skin broken to the point of drawing blood. Sure, I might not mind this happening to me, however I'm at least smart enough to know this is a questionable activity. Again, I'm not certain how your submissive actually reacted, feels or thinks about went down. It's obvious that this experience did not sit well with you. I don't know what the other Domme was thinking at the time either, it sound like the assumed for felt they could do this and for it to be acceptable. It's obvious she felt bad or has a concious about WTF happened since she has apologized. Did you ask the other Domme WTF she was thinking at the time she did this? Do you feel it was more a matter of misunderstanding or done out of malice or spite? What is your submissives take on this matter since he is friends with her and knows her perhaps better than you do? Again when sharing a sub/slave with another person. I'm a firm believer in negotiating activities on the spot before they occur if a scene has not been planned out ahead of time. If I were to lend a sub/slave out the other Dom/me would know the limits inside and out before this occured. i.e. do not draw blood! be it scratching, biting or otherwise. I could see perhaps a few little dings here and there from playing a little rough. All boils down to communication. Do you think this other Domme would not have done this, if you had not been present? I kind of get this feeling you believe this from your posts. Everything I have posted here is my mindset, how I would deal with things, and my own expectations of play. Like they say.. different strokes for different folks.

petal7 -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 10:30:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet ...Yes I could have grabbed her and pulled her off and caused a big scene, but I was trying my best to be tactful considering the circumstances while still trying to protect him from any further harm - which I did. ... I wouldn't ever suggest making a scene and unless someone is seeking a drama filled life (and some do), I would imagine the other parties wouldn't necessarily want a scene either. But perhaps, as you said earlier, if your submissive knew you had a "something is wrong" face on and the other dominant hadn't seen it . . . it was time for her TO see it. Quietly walking into the scene and ensuring that she knew you were unhappy with what was happening might have stopped the scene without even a single word having to be uttered. If she still didn't get the hint...then perhaps more clarifying actions would have been necessary. But I stand by my assertion that a scene may not have been necessary. A few quiet words would probably have sufficed to stop the action. I would not consider her a very good friend if I were the submissive in that situation due solely on the fact that she's disrespecting my wishes for her to contact my owner directly. Not everyone will like my Master . . . not everyone will like me and you can treat someone with common human decency even if you don't like them. However, I will not associate with anyone who disrespects Him.

WhiplashSmile -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 10:42:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petal7 quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet ...Yes I could have grabbed her and pulled her off and caused a big scene, but I was trying my best to be tactful considering the circumstances while still trying to protect him from any further harm - which I did. ... I wouldn't ever suggest making a scene and unless someone is seeking a drama filled life (and some do), I would imagine the other parties wouldn't necessarily want a scene either. But perhaps, as you said earlier, if your submissive knew you had a "something is wrong" face on and the other dominant hadn't seen it . . . it was time for her TO see it. Quietly walking into the scene and ensuring that she knew you were unhappy with what was happening might have stopped the scene without even a single word having to be uttered. If she still didn't get the hint...then perhaps more clarifying actions would have been necessary. But I stand by my assertion that a scene may not have been necessary. A few quiet words would probably have sufficed to stop the action. I would not consider her a very good friend if I were the submissive in that situation due solely on the fact that she's disrespecting my wishes for her to contact my owner directly. Not everyone will like my Master . . . not everyone will like me and you can treat someone with common human decency even if you don't like them. However, I will not associate with anyone who disrespects Him. An idea about using safewoods.. While I have never been in a situation like this sharing a submissive/slave with another Dom/me. Even though the sub did not use the safeword. How do people think about the sub/slaves owner being able to use the Safeword? This might be an effective tool for haulting something without causing the scene to become a scene in at a Party or Public Dungeon?

Griswold -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 4:29:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet At a recent play party, I attended with my collared submissive and a domme friend of his. I'd met her once before and we got along pretty well. It was agreed that all three of us would be playing together that night. No sooner did we get my submissive secured when the other domme stepped up behind him. I watched in horror as she raked her long, sharp nails down his back - breaking the skin. My sub never used his safe word, but I was not happy with what she had done (to say the least). Because he hadn't used his safe word and they were close friends, I did not pull her off right away. I redirected her to some different play that was within the limits of my sub and I. I played very lightly with him the rest of the evening on account of her actions. I apologized to my submissive for not protecting him from this, but I didn't even have time to react. SHE has since called him and apologized, but has not contacted me as he requested. It's too late for me to do anything but refuse to allow her to play with him again. My question is: What would YOU have done? No criticism required here...I already feel terrible about what happened and learned my lesson with this particular domme. Mistress Scarlet I'd probably concur with L&M to some degree, however, you were socially considerate, I'm sure your sub survived, your "friend" was appropriate in her response, and in the interim you learned some valuable lessons.

Owned1 -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 5:19:58 PM)
As others have said, first off stop beating yourself up over this. Take this as a lesson learned and move forward. I would have stopped the scene, removed my submissive from the situation and ensured they were ok. I would have then spoken with the Dominant and explained my displeasure. With the resultant activity of her calling your sub and not you even with his insistance I would also concur with others that she is attempting to move in on your territory. I would demand that your sub has no further communication of any type with this particular Dominant until and only if she communicates with you and you both clear the air. Even then I would suggest great caution with any contact with my property. In all walks of life there are those who are only interested in others property, she may just be one of those. Take care Owned

MstrssScarlet -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 6:10:21 PM)
Mistress Passion, your post is exactly the kind I referred to when I said "no crtiticism needed..". It's obvious (if you read before you jump in to criticise) that in the intial post I felt bad about what happened and felt bad about it because it was my fault for not protecting my submissive the way I normally would. I'm a pro domme. I negotiate scenes of every variety with total strangers all the time. You know what? I would say I have a 99.9% success rate with my clients. I am DAMN good at negotiating!!! You know what else? Sometimes sht happens. And sometimes it happens SOOO fast that you don't have time to react the way you normally would. It's easy to sit here at the keyboard now and say should have, could have, but at the moment I did what I felt was the best thing. Hindsight is always 20/20. (I'm sure some of you are recognizing your own words about now) Most of the people on here have been understanding and supportive and I appreciate that. For those of you that feel you need to rake me over the coals a few more times, all you're going to accomplish is putting me on the defensive. Now for one last clarification for those of you that need it: I checked on my sub right away and that's when he saw 'the look' on my face. He was ok and told me so. There was no blood dripping and no stitches were required. (geesh!) The other domme didn't see my face because I was standing directly behind her when she raked her nails down my sub's back. Obviously I made it clear to her that I was unhappy or she wouldn't have made any phone calls! There were dungeon monitors all around us. If I had wanted to make a big scene, it would have been easy. But then what? As it's already been pointed out, incidents such as this often get blown waaay out of proportion. They were both good friends up until that evening and if I had made a huge production out of what happened, things would have been extremely awkward for them whether my sub was upset or not. For all I knew, they wanted to remain friends and I had SOME respect for that. For those of you who have been supportive and offered truely well meaning* advice, thank you. For you chest beaters out there who think you're the ONLY people on this site who are ALWAYS right, you can kiss my lovin' ass. You are the very ones who make people hesitant to start any new threads in this forum because heaven forbid they admit they made any kind of mistake. As soon as they do, you swoop in like a flock of vultures! Mistress Scarlet

MasterFireMaam -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 6:12:44 PM)
It wasn't unreasonable of you to assume that, since she and he were friends, they had a decent understanding about HIS limits. However, she apparently didn't understand yours. Also, he didn't safeword, which is part of his repsonsibility to do if you use that system. I'd say that, in general, there were mistakes all around. We can go on about what should have happened (all three sitting down and discussing limits), but in the end, this doesn't fix what happened. You are unhappy with what happened...but she was given no indication until way after the fact that what she did was a bad thing. So, she may not feel inclined to apologize...OR, having learned through him that you're not happy, she's now embarassed and is avoiding talking to you (very common reaction). You may have to be the bigger woman and call her. Simply start the conversation with something like, "I feel that there's a lot of tension here and it's making me uncomfortable. Can we talk about how to handle it?" You can't control how she will react to that, but you then have a clear understanding of her first hand and can base your actions accordingly. Master Fire

minnetar -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 7:50:50 PM)
Mistress Scarlet, i am confused. You start a thread and then ask for no criticism based on something that happened which is bad. i think Mistress Passion was trying to help. If She did criticize, don't You believe by bringing up the topic here You are open to that? i think what is most important is to learn from a bad situation and make sure it doesn't happen again especially when it it based on what happened to what You own. minnetar

DominaSmartass -> RE: What Would YOU Do? (5/26/2007 8:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion ok, so you have now said you did negotiate... tip: develop better negotiating skills because they were obviously lacking in this scenario. None of us know what was said & maybe too much attention was spent discussing things that really didn't apply to the scene because stating limits is not something that requires hours of conversation over dinner.. most often limits can be clearly stated in 5 minutes or less. Then you continue defending this that he didn't use his safeword... does this mean he controls the scene? Does this mean if he starts flying & things take him to a level where cannot speak, you will continue to beat the daylights out of him because he didn't use his safe word... it's his fault things weren't stopped? You say you are his dominant... time to step up & be such. You are in control & you are completely within your right to stop a scene regardless as to what is going on. You don't owe anyone an explanation on this fact. It's good to see you write that he has told you that he still trusts you & views this all as a big mistake & a lesson to be learned from but it still looks as though you are trying to push the fault all on this woman rather than step up & admit you made a mistake... your gut told you to stop the session but you were more worried about what others might think by you doing so rather than what was best for your submissive. There was no need to cause a scene, all you needed to do was tell her to step away.. she was done & that you would talk to here after you tended to your sub back. Personally I would rather insult/piss off every person at a party than ever have my submissive face harm & then not be able to look at me with complete trust & respect. From what I can infer from these posts, I think you are being a bit hard on her. For one thing, just because the broken skin was beyond what Mistress Scarlet found acceptible in the scene, we have not heard any real evidence that it truly bothered her sub that much. Chances are he didn't even know it had occured. I use vampire gloves a lot and sometimes people would swear I have cut them open when I in fact haven't. In the same vein, I enjoy scratching sensations and beg my friends to run sharp pointy things down my back and it feels soooo good that I don't realize they broke skin till I look in the mirror later. Only Mistress Scarlet can tell us whether her sub even had an issue with it or whether it was more her protective instincts kicking in and making her want to stop the scene. Secondly, I think that the idea that the scene should have been stopped immediately is not necessarily the best. Some subs would have preferred that, and to be treated lightly the rest of the night, and coddled, so to speak, as if some big ordeal had taken place. Other subs would much prefer to keep going like normal and not have a big deal be made of it because it makes them uncomfortable to have control of the situation in that way. Or to have that much attention focused on them. I know quite a few who considering no real harm done would have preferred things just keep going the way Mistress Scarlett did. Though I don't mean to imply ignoring the mishap, just that a note is made to not let this other domme go any further but the scene is not halted.

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