RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There?

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RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 1:09:26 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

You could try adultfriendfinder.com That site caters to swingers, but has a lot of bdsm folks as well. Lots of people to hook up with, though the site isn't exactly free.

adultfriendfinder is just alt with a different focus. Other sites include swappernet.com and swinglifestyle.com. Of those, one is free and the other isn't after 3 days.

But they are swinger sites and very few of the profiles mention bdsm in any way, shape or form - even in cloaked terms.

juliet

THat is swingererslifestyle.com and it doesn't cater to bdsmer. Though when you advertice, you can always mention your kinks. This will keep those not interested away.

I totally understand about the experience. The first couple i swang with were not into bdsm, but the Dom i was playing with made it so they were interested in it. ANd i have found that pain takes much more priority to swinging for me. Though it really is intertwined. I go straight into sub space when i swing, but this is because i love the idea of having sex in public.

I have also been blessed with finding a dungeon that caters to swingers on occation. This was great because she know who of us are into BDSM, and who is just swingers. One night we ended up being all BDSMer and she lifted the no BDSM rule. It was great!

And yes, I don't know how many men have just came up to me and started trying to be physical. As i said some of the people i play with are in both scenes, and so i am always being watched and cared for. I can't say "no" once i am in that space, too. I wonder if you can look into the BDSM scene in your area. Also learning some more things then just flogging might be fun too.

Have fun exploring.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 21

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 6:30:51 PM

pamela700

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

we are into both, and have found people on here, also on alt.com and aff.com and craigslist.

the most important thing for us has been to find those who are interested in both, and really talking to them about it. we've been most successful meeting other folks at plain old swing parties who then admit to being into bdsm. we make it easy to bring up the topic, because it's fairly normal to do the 'how did you guys meet' question when meeting new folks, and my partner and i met at a bdsm club. people that know the name of the club kind of get it, and we then take it from there.

as far as what some people here posted about it getting out of hand for one dom to control the situation...it all depends on the scene. it helps if you've all had some experience in both 'scenes' beforehand. if anyone needs absolute control over everyone, it should be somewhat arranged in advance. we've had very successful small gatherings with 4 or 5 couples (or the equivalent), where people agree who will top whom, who will be acting more like 'assistants' (helping with binding, positioning, running for a drink of water etc.). we've also had a lot of fun getting to know people this way, where everyone brings their favorite bdsm toys and after dinner we start taking them out, discussing their relative merits, and then almost invariably someone volunteers to use it on someone else who is interested. and when the bdsm play has people so far over the edge they can't take it anymore, the sex stuff begins.

in my experience, it's best when it's not overly controlled. if the dominant folk in the room are respectful of each other, not interested in a pissing contest, everyone can learn and play and have a good time.

regarding the whole swing-don't touch if not asked thing, you'll probably have better luck with that stuff at smaller or more private parties, be they swing or what we like to call 'crossover' (both swing and bdsm involved).

i'd stress again that the best results will be had by screening the people you meet carefully, getting to know them a bit, and making sure everyone's head is in the right place. inexperienced players often have to deal with jealousy and other competitive issues that don't lead to a fun time.

good luck in your search! if you guys ever head out towards the new york city area, we'd love to invite you!

---pam

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 22

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 6:39:29 PM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

I've found quite a few "friends" on swinglifestyle (.) com that are into bdsm as well as swinging.

(in reply to pamela700)

Post #: 23

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 7:32:09 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

Other sites include swappernet.com and swinglifestyle.com. Of those, one is free and the other isn't after 3 days.

But they are swinger sites and very few of the profiles mention bdsm in any way, shape or form - even in cloaked terms.

juliet

THat is swingererslifestyle.com and it doesn't cater to bdsmer.

hmmm...well, typing swinglifestyler.com doesn't work..and since we have a profile on swinglifestyle.com, and it's in my favorites that way...AND I just checked it under that name... I'm thinking it's swinglifestyle.com

Unless I'm missing entirely what you're saying here.

juliet

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 24

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 7:37:47 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I think she meant
http://swingerslifestyle.com/

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(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 25

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 9:18:37 PM

Guru

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

There are a few of us around. We use Swinglifestyle dot com but bear in mind that a lot of swingers are rather close minded about sex and conservative. At least that is what we have seen as contradictory as that seems. We have met a few thought that blur the line between the two lifestyles but not many. Maybe we are a bit too wild forthe swinger lifestyle.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 26

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/27/2007 9:21:26 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Guess W/we are depraved or strange.....W/we are looking for other couples into flogging, tie and tease, then sex.

Welcome aboard toadette! I have friends into swinging but I don't think you and Toad would be willing to drive to South Carolina just to party. Me, I'm not into the swing scene but I've been poly before so I'm familiar with the difficulties of trying to blend both sets of interests... Looks like you've gotten plenty of assistance and contacts here so I'll move along now... :)

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)

Post #: 27

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/28/2007 6:40:40 AM

blondesurfergirl

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

My hubby and i have been in the swing lifestyle for a few years, and i am the one exploring the bdsm side. He, unfortunately is not as interested as i am, BUT he has let me explore , post a profile, and experience a session with my Dom who i have been in contact with. I am still too new to begin to see where these 2 lifestyles could merge, at least with our swing/lifestyle friends, and i think when i actively started searching this lifestyle i had NO idea where i was going with it. I am fascinated and intrigued and will continue to research this out as long as he lets me. I think Mistoforin is correct in saying that most swingers arent aware of the bdsm protocal, as my hubby was't when i had my Dom over for our first session.. Swingers, however have their OWN protocol, its just very different than bdsm protocol.

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Post #: 28

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/28/2007 10:19:14 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

Other sites include swappernet.com and swinglifestyle.com. Of those, one is free and the other isn't after 3 days.

But they are swinger sites and very few of the profiles mention bdsm in any way, shape or form - even in cloaked terms.

juliet

THat is swingererslifestyle.com and it doesn't cater to bdsmer.

hmmm...well, typing swinglifestyler.com doesn't work..and since we have a profile on swinglifestyle.com, and it's in my favorites that way...AND I just checked it under that name... I'm thinking it's swinglifestyle.com

Unless I'm missing entirely what you're saying here.

juliet

Doop...i can't spell. swingerslifestyle.com. It is also big on letting you know where there are meet and greets, so you can meet others in a group setting.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 29

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/28/2007 10:55:22 AM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

Atlanta had a swing club with a dungeon in the basement--very fun place too...maybe you would consider focusing more on Hedonists groups...I belong to one that is accepting of all lifestyle choices...swing, s&m, d/s, gay, tv, ts...we are very eclectic...

_____________________________

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http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 30

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 5/28/2007 3:56:10 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Darn Florida! They have all the fun places!!! lol

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 31

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 7/9/2007 2:19:34 AM

Runs2deep2002

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I thought swinging was a portion of suspension play???

(When O when will they take away my ice cream cone?)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 32

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 7/9/2007 5:01:06 AM

SexyBlondSub

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

Well...I got into swinging first. I'm bi and my friend was a swinger and really - it was just sort of a natural progression. I've always loved kinky, rough sex and I met a 24/7 couple at the swingers club I was a regular at. The slave runs a sub group and I took her card. I kept it very safe until I was ready to use it - and when I was, I did. There's another couple there who loves rope bondage. Of course, the club has a dungeon so maybe it attracts more BDSM couples than the other club in town.

(in reply to Runs2deep2002)

Post #: 33

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 7/9/2007 9:31:08 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

As we become more and more active in both the Swing and BDSM scene (were on SLS as MisterAndMistress), I've come to realize that the two scenes don't really have a lot of people who cross over. Most swing clubs have a "fetish" night, but that just means wear cheap pleather lingerie and give some playful spankings.

I think there are far too many subs and slaves looking for "the One" for there to be any large section of swingers. Even in the poly realm (where poly typically means one master and his two slaves) there is still too much insecurity for real swinging.

It's great to see so many on this board who do participate in both, though...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 34

RE: BDSM and Swinging.....Anyone Else Out There? - 7/9/2007 3:03:57 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

Austin TX is lucky enough to have a swingers (off premises) club that is having a fetish night that's about more than the clothes, and I'm looking forward to attending. Daddy and I will get to play in public, feeding my exhibitionist side, and it might end up being an interesting, regular event so the two lifestyles can mingle some.

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 35

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