RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior

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RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior - 5/20/2005 3:02:17 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

For some period of time, in somewhat of an experiment, I made a conscious effort to respond to every email I got.

As a result, more than half the people I said, "No thank you, not interested," followed up with a question. "why not?" or "can we just be friends?" or "can you tell me what I am lacking?" Another portion of the one liners, the "hi how are you?" often wrote back annoyed emails, as if I was responding to a PM, not an email.

Then, there were some that just decided to get insulting. So as a result, I trippled my incoming emails, and all it does is put me in a bad mood when I go to read the next one which might be from someone sweet.

If someone does not have unlimited time to spend on collarme, especially if it is running slow, then answering every single email is a difficult option.

And, my profile happens to be very specific and I imagine femdoms who are looking for a rl partner get 10x the emails I do.

Akasha

Respectfully asked, does this mean that you think the majority actually read your complete profile????

Now, I realize they don't. At first I thought I got tons of emails from subs because it was not spelled out extremely clearly that I am not seeking a real life partner, I already have one. I re-wrote it to be extremely specific beyond that, and I still got a ton of emails.

Akasha

I have not been a member of this site very long, and in the beginning made an effort to reply to every email. I did it at the beginning, because my profile had not been approved, so I thought the short emails were because they had no profile to look at. The amount of mail has not decreased, and I try to answer the emails that are real, and sometimes, unfortunately, because of real life, do not complete that task as quickly or completely as I would like (real life intervenes at times). IMO, I would rather try to at least answer the legitimate ones, and delete the ones that obviously took no time or thought to approach me. I like Sweetdommes idea of a specific instruction in their profile to be followed. I would imagine that would make the reply list much shorter. I have a very simple profile directive, and if it is not followed, (it is not a hard thing to do at all), I do not answer. If an email appears to be that well thought out, the directive would be followed, since, supposedly, they are looking at or have read my profile to be able to write that well thought letter....

(in reply to AAkasha)

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Post #: 21

RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior - 6/2/2005 4:06:12 PM

MisterCorvidae

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/15/2004
From: Crow
Status: offline

First off I would like to thank each and every one of you for your responses. Secondly while not budging an inch from my stance I also want to acknowledge the fact of this issue being akin to whacking that poor old decomposing horse yet again obviously months after it has ceased to respond to such crass treatment.
I also see where my frustration is shared, and some ways that several of you either look at it or otherwise deal with or attempt to minimize it. I quite frankly have little requirement of clarification as to the reason(s) for any lack of interest a sub may have once I have written my letter of interest a simple “Piss Off” works almost as well as the most thought out letter of “No Thanks”.
Sincerely
Crow

_____________________________

Insanity could be: taking the same action over and over while each time expecting different results.
“To thine own self be true,
And it must follow,
as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
William Shakespeare

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Post #: 22

RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior - 6/2/2005 11:00:02 PM

SteelBondager

Posts: 86
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

When I write to people, I'm succint and polite. I write with comments, questions, advice and hellos. Almost everyone responds to me. One person never opened my mail and one person read it and didn't reply.

That's a really good response rate and says something about the community here.

(in reply to AAkasha)

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Post #: 23

RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior - 6/3/2005 12:38:54 PM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
Your post is valid, and as you've noticed, it's also unfortunately very common... It has been stated that no one owes anyone courtesy, kindness or respect;

Oh, but we do owe each other courtesy, kindness and respect.

But the choice to respond to unsolicited emails isn't a matter of courtesy, kindness, or respect. An invitation to dialogue must be just that: an invitation. If I'm angry over being declined, then it wasn't an invitation: it was a demand. The demand is what is discourteous, unkind and disrespectful.

Good response, and one i'm inclined to agree with.

There is NO rule of etiquette that suggests that anyone ought to reply to an unsolicited email on a web site. By the same token, i would say to the OP, if you believe some mail went astray somewhere because you didn't get a reply, then I don't think it would be rude to send it again, with an explanation. OK, that could look like harrassment, but if someone doesn't reply, then maybe that's what they should expect now and again.

On the other hand... sometimes people aren't 'not replying' to you.. what is happening is that all unsolicited mail is just getting deleted without being read, or sent to their spam box or whatever. Not everyone on the site is here to find a partner, not everyone WANTS to use the message system.

~ Elektra

(in reply to Faramir)

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Post #: 24

RE: Just a thought: Courteous Behavior - 6/3/2005 2:14:35 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Respect is earned. It doesn't cost anything to be courteous though.

I personally am much more impressed by people who are courteous and respectful
of other people, regardless of what color name tag they wear at munches.

People who live in their own one-person drama queen / king show make me want
to signal the Alien Mother Ship that my work here is done and I want to go back
to my home planet.

As Patrick Swayze said in Roadhouse, "be nice, until its time to not be nice."

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

p.s. I suspect I couldnt get a clue if I stripped naked in a field of clues and did the
clue mating dance while playing a clue call.

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(in reply to MisterCorvidae)

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Post #: 25