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Micromanagement - 5/18/2005 9:04:17 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		Should serving a Master to meet his needs and make his life easier include micromanaging him?

This is my random question for the day...I DO have a list just to keep things fun and informative here...Grin

Regards In Leather,
Elegant
~Slave to Master Archer
~Southeast Bootblack 2005
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/19/2005 3:52:30 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		It should if that's your Master's need.

I have a need to control my girl in general, not just in actively dominating her, but I'm not into micro-management. My girl is also "second-in-command" in our relationship, which means I trust in her ability to function as I'd expect any intelligent person to when I'm not there.

She does have rules and tasks etc but I'm too relaxed and laid-back to wanna control *everything*! Besides, it'd limit her opportunities to surprise me....

Focus50.

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/19/2005 4:39:52 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Should serving a Master to meet his needs and make his life easier include micromanaging him?


Define micromanage? lol Ok, I have to admit, we (Scooter and I) need a keeper. We lead very busy lives. Between him going to work, both of us remodeling the house, family obligations and, of course, our addiction to the message boards, we tend to forget a lot more then we remember. So for us, micromanagement might be an issue. Although I don't see it as quite that extreme. Part of our submissives "job" description includes making sure I take my pills (I only remember one out of 3 on most days), that he remembers to take his phone to work with him (what's the point of having a cell phone if you never move it away from the charger?), making the grocery list (we used to do the "I'll remember what I need from the store" thing, 5 jars of mustard later we decided we need a list), and that sort of thing. Organizational things mostly. I don't know if that is micromanagement or not, so if it is... we're guilty.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/19/2005 5:27:15 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It certainly can. There are slaves who totally manage the finances of everything and actually give the Owner an allowance. If that's how the Owner feels happiest and most comfortable, thats cool.

Now, others will likely ask how can the Owner possibly be in control, couldn't the sub just do what she wanted, isn't he being "kept"?

My response is, would you say the same about a slave who planned and cooked all the meals?

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 1:03:05 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Its been my experience, and is my opinion, that a slave sometimes acts as a personal assistant and in that role may be held responsible for assisting the master / dominant in managing everything from their appointments and schedule, to their shopping, to wardrobe, to accounting. For some this brings up the question of who is in charge (as Emerald pointed out). I find that viewing it as being a personal assistant helps answer that. A personal assistant may do all those things, but they still work for that person, and if they fail to be a good assistant and do their job properly they will be fired. In the case of a slave being giving these tasks, it becomes the slaves job to assist the dominant in whatever ways outlined by the dominant to the dominants satisfaction. And, interestingly, if the slave fails to say, remind the dominant of an appointment, etc. can become grounds for punishment. The question of control ultimately comes down this, whatever the slave is doing, it was required by the dominant and must be done to the dominant's satisfaction... and both those points indicate it is still the dominant who has final authority.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 1:32:35 AM   
JustaDom


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
both those points indicate it is still the dominant who has final authority.


I'll have to concur with Padriag, he put it very well. The term micromanagement implies authority. If there is no authority, but more of a delegated responsibility, then the submissive or slave is acting much like a personal assistant. I’d gladly have someone who could do a good job at it organize and schedule things for me so I could put more effort into the task at hand.

Again, delegating a responsibility is not necessarily giving up control. The dominant or master may just prefer managing the big picture and delegating the details or daily organization to the submissive or slave.

Joe

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 3:53:44 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I would like it if my slave could sense what I need, and provide that assistance accordingly. We are still in the early stages of our relationship and already she shows glimmerings of that, so I think it's acheivable.

As for my micromanagement of her, I, unfortunately, find it necessary to do that much of the time. If I give her an order, I have to be VERY specific, as she will obey to the letter, but not the spirit of my desires. I also have to check constantly to confirm that she is obeying my orders. It's not a case of my giving her too many orders...hardly that...more a lack of training and we are addressing that now.

Bobcat

(in reply to JustaDom)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 4:57:11 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

micromanaging


Micromanaging is a hard limit for me, in absolutely every direction and context, kinky and non-kinky. I think it is counter to self-actualization.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 5:47:57 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

As for my micromanagement of her, I, unfortunately, find it necessary to do that much of the time. If I give her an order, I have to be VERY specific, as she will obey to the letter, but not the spirit of my desires. I also have to check constantly to confirm that she is obeying my orders. It's not a case of my giving her too many orders...hardly that...more a lack of training and we are addressing that now.

Bobcat

How do you know it's not a passive aggressive attempt at getting your focused attention?

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 6:00:29 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Allow my slave to micromanage me...? Hmmm...no.

I do, howver, let my slave know about the things I want to get done during the week. She will remind me by saying something like, "Master, do you still want to take your car in for an oil change today?" just as a friendly reminder. I wouldn't call that micro management...I call it a service.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 6:43:08 AM   
Stoneygirl76


Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think, as others touched on, it's all dependent on the people involved and their personalities, their needs.

Personally, I couldn't abide micromanaging or being micromanaged, but that's just me. I'm sure there are others who would perform beautifully under those circumstances.

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 6:51:09 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		This is something I have found hard to reconcile with my submissive nature. My Master is diabetic and sometimes His sugar levels will drop way low and He will be "out of it" in such a way that I have to be very forceful in getting Him to eat or drink something sweet. Even to the point of having to pinch or slap Him to get Him to wake up enough. However it is part of my service to Him and so I do it but afterwards I do feel a bit bad about it

I make sure He takes His meds, set up His dialysis machine, remind Him of clinic appointments as well as the usual household chores. He has a notoriously bad memory so I am kind of like a living diaryI usually remember things we need when we go shopping but do make a list most times. He is more micro managed than I am

(in reply to MrThorns)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 7:01:00 AM   
Stoneygirl76


Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Looking after one with diabetes is a tough task indeed. Requires a lot of forethought.

My empathy to those who have that on their plates.

(in reply to Rayne58)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 7:19:59 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

Allow my slave to micromanage me...? Hmmm...no.

I do, howver, let my slave know about the things I want to get done during the week. She will remind me by saying something like, "Master, do you still want to take your car in for an oil change today?" just as a friendly reminder. I wouldn't call that micro management...I call it a service.

~Thorns



Good example Sir. But what happens if you then forget to take your car for that oil change (and here I mean if slave cannot take it herself)? Does she remind you again and again?

And what happens if the reminded task was something of more immediate need of great importance such as making the house payment. (again, as if this is your job and the slave does not do this)

At what point do the reminders become nagging and controling instead of polite pleas to do something that is necessary? At what point does the slave become the babysitter/parent?

(in reply to MrThorns)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 7:29:38 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

At what point do the reminders become nagging and controling instead of polite pleas to do something that is necessary? At what point does the slave become the babysitter/parent?

As usual it's up to the dom to decide. When the Owner and I first got together, one of the very first questions I asked was whether he wanted me to remind him of timing and being late or to just let it go and let him deal with it. He told me he wanted me to be a reminder for him, so I do.

When it doubt, just ask fdirectly.

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Micromanagement - 5/20/2005 8:00:02 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		Master needs to have a blood test Monday morning for His clinic appointment that afternoon and He is terrible at waking up for those because He doesn't sleep well and feels crappy in the mornings anyway. I have instructions to not take NO for an answer that morning because it is most important that this test is done - so watch out for the subbie/Domme

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Micromanagement - 5/21/2005 9:11:30 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant


quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

Allow my slave to micromanage me...? Hmmm...no.

I do, howver, let my slave know about the things I want to get done during the week. She will remind me by saying something like, "Master, do you still want to take your car in for an oil change today?" just as a friendly reminder. I wouldn't call that micro management...I call it a service.

~Thorns



Good example Sir. But what happens if you then forget to take your car for that oil change (and here I mean if slave cannot take it herself)? Does she remind you again and again?

And what happens if the reminded task was something of more immediate need of great importance such as making the house payment. (again, as if this is your job and the slave does not do this)

At what point do the reminders become nagging and controling instead of polite pleas to do something that is necessary? At what point does the slave become the babysitter/parent?



As Emerald has mentioned, that is up to the dominant. Perhaps I had a change of priorities and didn't choose to inform my slave of that change. If I feel as though I am being nagged...(Which hasn't happened within my relationship)...I will tell my slave that she may stop with the reminders.

It's not a matter of my slave asking me to do something that she feels is necessary, rather, she is following my instructions to remind me of something that I feel is necessary. If I change my mind about something, her job is to simply accept the change.

Nagging, I think, occurs when someone becomes emotionally invested in something and wants to make sure it gets done. The idea about the way my slave serves me by helping me stay organized and on task, is that she doesn't get emotional about the task. It's simply something I decided I wanted done. She reminds me, but if I choose to do it or not, is irrelevant. She did her job by reminding me. Does that make sense?

~Thorns


_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 17
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