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The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 4:39:14 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Okay, I just finsihed talking to a Mistress friend of mine who had a no show for a weekend she had planned for the last two weeks.
So this question is dedicated to those out here that feel sometimes everything is going wrong for them.

Can some of you share your most postive memories in this lifestyle
Your worst experience so that others can see its not as bad as they think it is
And lastly , your biggest surprise you discovered out here- good or bad..

I am going to have her check this out
Thank you for any involvement

Post #: 1

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 6:18:11 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Well i have to say my over all best experience was meeting my current partner. I can say i didn't see him as long term potential material, but here we are over a year later, still together and looking for others to play wiht together. Also good have been the friends i have made, both those i have met in person and those i have not, yet (hugs open). Also good was a surprisingly fun evening shared with another couple. The variations of 4 of us with some switch tendencies was a heck of alot of fun!

Negative??? No shows, people who go poof and the one stalker. Thankfully we met on a different site and he doesn't know me on here....

Most surprising??? How nice some people can be when others are in need of a shoulder or a little good advice, or just some reassurance. If you read between the idiots on here you really see some awesome people.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 2

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 6:29:38 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Positive...I met many wonderful friends....as evidenced by journal entries on my profile. A great friend I'm teaching about the lifestyle...we hang out, have lunch, I tie him up on occasion..fun stuff. I know a really intelligent rope bottom who is simply cool. He's relaxed, easy going, articulate and well...loves to be tied up...for what more can I ask of in friends? I have my Robert. Without a doubt the best experience from Collarme and within my entire life of BDSM. I love this man in his entirety. He's exactly the missing puzzle piece. I relish every moment of him and his service to me. I am going to pull a quote from him and put here for all to see...(this is actually from my latest journal entry as well)

Robert's Words to me today:

"I know there is nothing I can really say or do at this very moment that can help.....but try to hang on just a few more days Mistress.....and know that I want only to make Your life more pleasant
You are up early every day....You are up late every night....You run from place to place.....You cook, You clean...You take care of the girls, You take care of [husband]....
I want to be the one who takes care of You
and takes away some of that stress and daily grind
So You can focus on the things that are so important to You....Your family, Your schooling
If I say it too many times, I'll say it even once more too many......You can unload on me Mistress"
"I am at Your service....for everything...whether that be play, listening, talking, joking, kissing, working around the house, finances.....I am Yours Mistress.....in any way You can conceive"

The worst experience? I had a live in for a brief time who decided that I needed to be knocked around. He physically pushed me down in anger and I believe would have beaten me up had I not yelled for my husband.

Surprises.....hmmm......oh! I know...I seem to find more sub/slave female profiles that are full of baloney than males. The amount of no show females far out numbers the no show males for me.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 3

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 6:36:00 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

One of the nicest things ever? Expecting a no-show...and find him waiting for you in a standing present a the bottom of the hotel stairs and a national leather conference.

One of the nicest things ever? Knowing that my girl would drop everything to come to me should I call her to do so.

One of the nicest things ever? Having a houseboy who sincerely and honestly loves service for service's sake...and has only missed two weekends in two years.

One of the nicest things ever? To go to a leather/Ms/spiritual conference and know I'm HOME and with chosen FAMILY.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 4

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 6:51:25 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

My pleasant experiences in BDSM vastly, greatly, significantly outnumber the unpleasant experiences. I have had many beautiful moments. I have met many wonderful people. And I have given countless footrubs ;-)

One less than happy experience was a failed courtship about 6 years ago. It left me feeling bad (heartbreak like bad) and I recognized that part of the reason I felt so bad is because I had dreamt so long to meet someone like that, and then to see the chance fade. And odds for another opportunity seemed distant. These feelings then propelled me to take steps to change these odds. That year was a breakout year for me. And so what at the time seemed to be an unhappy occurrence actually became a pathway to wonderful happenings.

My pursuit of BDSM has helped me tremendously with personal growth. It has done so by forcing me to go outside my comfort zones in social situations, allowing me to meet people I otherwise would not have met, and enabling me to grow my confidence. And it actually allowed me to meet women! If you think the ratio of men to women is bad in Fm, wait till you hear what it was like in engineering classes and workplaces!

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Post #: 5

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 7:50:21 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Can some of you share your most postive memories in this lifestyle
Your worst experience so that others can see its not as bad as they think it is
And lastly , your biggest surprise you discovered out here- good or bad..

Went to a party at a commercial dungeon and there was a very tall, muscular man with piercing blue eyes there. He was built like a rugby player (which actually he was) and towered over me (I am only 5'2 and 52 kg). The pro-domme told me he was a client who had just moved over from NZ. She gave him to me to play with.

He obeyed in silence. We entered a private chamber and shut the door. I put him in Japanese bondage in the cube with his arms secured overhead and did a heavy impact session - flogger, paddle, crop, cane etc. Those blue eyes watched me silently in the mirrors. Intensely. We played in complete silence.

Finally I walked around his huge body and up close to his face. He was looking straight into my eyes. Such defiance. Then the strangest thing happened. I kissed him. He got a shock but opened his mouth and kissed me too. He was naked in bondage. The only parts that touched were lips and tongues.

Then I realised what I was doing (to someone else's client!) and stepped away. He finally said something. He said "may I take you out for dinner, Mistress?"

Richard was the first and last great love of my life. We had two amazing, passionate, kinky years. Then he married a nice vanilla woman (a successful busines sperson like him) and lived happily ever after in the suburbs, never to grace my dungeon again. That was 6 years ago.

Surprise? Learning the hard way that men like richard may love women like me, but they marry Nice Girls.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 5/26/2007 7:53:55 PM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 6

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 8:54:47 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Can some of you share your most postive memories in this lifestyle
Your worst experience so that others can see its not as bad as they think it is
And lastly , your biggest surprise you discovered out here- good or bad..

Went to a party at a commercial dungeon and there was a very tall, muscular man with piercing blue eyes there. He was built like a rugby player (which actually he was) and towered over me (I am only 5'2 and 52 kg). The pro-domme told me he was a client who had just moved over from NZ. She gave him to me to play with.

He obeyed in silence. We entered a private chamber and shut the door. I put him in Japanese bondage in the cube with his arms secured overhead and did a heavy impact session - flogger, paddle, crop, cane etc. Those blue eyes watched me silently in the mirrors. Intensely. We played in complete silence.

Finally I walked around his huge body and up close to his face. He was looking straight into my eyes. Such defiance. Then the strangest thing happened. I kissed him. He got a shock but opened his mouth and kissed me too. He was naked in bondage. The only parts that touched were lips and tongues.

Then I realised what I was doing (to someone else's client!) and stepped away. He finally said something. He said "may I take you out for dinner, Mistress?"

Richard was the first and last great love of my life. We had two amazing, passionate, kinky years. Then he married a nice vanilla woman (a successful busines sperson like him) and lived happily ever after in the suburbs, never to grace my dungeon again. That was 6 years ago.

Surprise? Learning the hard way that men like richard may love women like me, but they marry Nice Girls.

I've been a little teary eyed all day anyway...but wow...that threw me over the edge. How beautiful how melancholy. For you, my heart feels.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 7

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 10:16:14 PM

JpnsTigerrrlily

Posts: 161
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline

I'm just going to share the good part :)

Meeting the people that I call friends even after all these years. We've been through a lot together and though we may not always see eye to eye. They're the people I can go to should I ever need anything and can talk to about anything.

Have you ever met someone and right away know that this person is going to have an impact on your life? For me, that person introduced me to the public scene and was the catalyst for me finally getting out there and meeting people. I can still remember the chemistry. You know those rare people whose voice can raise goosebumps. Silky...sexy. Those people that make you feel like you're the most brilliant and sparkling woman that has ever crossed their path. *sighs* We ran into each other at a party one evening and having him walk up to me and wrap me around him and kissing me till I was light headed. We never needed words. We simply understood each other. Those amazing connections. :)

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 8

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/26/2007 10:35:05 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

The best? Meeting my husband-to-be at a munch. We've been together ever since and it just gets better and better.
The worst? Having a rejected Dom "out" me to every one of my family he could search out. He even turned up on the doorstep of my now-husband's ex, asking her to take him back, so he could have me. That went down really well! NOT!
The surprise? That there are so many fuckwits and losers out there, amongst the gems we really treasure.
:))
LadyHeart

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 9

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 12:43:50 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

Surprise? Learning the hard way that men like richard may love women like me, but they marry Nice Girls.

Been there, done that, know exactly what you mean. My glued together heart goes out to you.

The good...I've learned alot, met some wonderful people, made some wonderful friends and laughed a great deal. Life is good.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 10

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 12:54:53 AM

needDomme

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

I am 61 and always thought something was wrong with me and that there were no others in the lifestyle. i recently met a lifestyle Domme and had the time of my life serving her for a few hours. She allowed me to spend the time performing housework for her. i intend to pursue this relationship and hope it works out.

It was an absolutely divine experience.

need

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 11

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 12:57:55 AM

needDomme

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

Let me add this: If i had it to do allover again, i would definitely want to ask this woman to marry me.

need

(in reply to needDomme)

Post #: 12

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 4:21:59 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

After reading all of this, I have to admit I'm a bit choked up. People forget about the beauty that occurs in this lifestyle.

For Myself, I can add only this......

The slave who educated Me,
The pet who left Me,
and the boy who showed Me it wasn't over.

(in reply to needDomme)

Post #: 13

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 4:24:20 AM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

God these all all so great....real experiences . The emotions behind them.That is what this is all about.And A personal note here.I see so many write and focus on their happy experiences instead of dwelling on the failures and jerks they have meet in life...Thank you all so much...And keep them comming.

(in reply to needDomme)

Post #: 14

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 5:48:13 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

One of my best moments ... Having a special mini christmas with my boy because we couldnt be together on the actual day and him suprising me with a Cb 3000 and telling me while he looked right at me how much he loved me and wanted to be mine and that his cock was mine

worst moments hmm there are two getting my first ever full on hard domme drop after a session that I had planned for 3 weeks that went wrong at the very last ten minutes of the beautiful weekend we had had it was awful and I didnt know what was happening, it took a week to sort my head out and realise what had actually happened. And I guess the disapointment from the cb not working out was also a worst moment.

suprising god theres two again realising I actually do love hoods and ball gags lol and being suprised abouthow powerful and intimate fisting can be and the amazing feelings it bring

There is nothing worse than arranging to meet someone and they dont turn up. I had about 4 fuck ups earlier in the year when arranging to meet possible maids and getting time wasters who either didnt turn up or just werent who they said they were. When you have to plan timesround u.m's and organise transport etc and your then fucked over its most annoying, god I'm glad I have my boy and maid all sorted now lol

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 15

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 2:13:54 PM

ready4srvce4all

Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline

My most positive experience is not a specific day with Mistress, such as Her first email, or when She first said She loved me, or when She became Mistress, or the day She collared me. It has been everyday with Her, from our very beginning, now, and forever. It's been the entire "dance", and the music hasn't stopped.

My worst experience was back in 1998/1999 thinking I had met "The One" on two different occaisions. Just prior to packing up and relocating, both did almost the same exact thing. The sent me an email saying...."I have something I haven't mentioned yet, and I need to be honest." One, dropped a bomb on me that she had 5 UM's (despite telling me that she was without). The other said in reference to her age "around yours". I was 38 at the time....so "around yours" to me seemed not more than maybe 10 years. She wasn't. She wasn't 48. She wasn't 58. She was 64. Could that have been possible back then? I think so....but that was just way too big of a "haven't mentioned something yet" for me to go on.

Biggest surprise? Okay, just to interject a bit of humor. It's how many nurses are in the lifestyle. I wonder, when I graduated, and doing the candle ceremony, if one of the instructors was a Domme or sub, and looked at me and thought..."obviously into needles and cutting."

_____________________________

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 16

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 2:17:28 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all

My most positive experience is not a specific day with Mistress, such as Her first email, or when She first said She loved me, or when She became Mistress, or the day She collared me. It has been everyday with Her, from our very beginning, now, and forever. It's been the entire "dance", and the music hasn't stopped.

We'll dance this dance until we part in death...

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)

Post #: 17

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 2:55:27 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I feel pretty lucky, my exploration in the D/s dynamic, as been very positive for the most part, in regards to potential partners. Some experiences have been better than others, but i can't say I've had a really "bad" experience, or at least any that i haven't learned from.
For the last 4 or 5 months I've been getting to know someone who already had plans to relocate to my area. We've spent more time getting to know one another as people than anything else, however we've touched on enough of our general D/s philosophies to know that we're compatible in that area. If I've learned nothing else, it is the fact that i want/need to be with a partner who accepts all of me because i have no desire to suppress any parts of myself. So who knows...maybe that will become my "best" experience.

Edited because i didn't realize this was the "Ask a Mistress" forum.....sorry...

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 5/27/2007 2:57:30 PM >

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 18

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 8:53:39 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Hmmmm. I can't decide whether I'm jealous or just aroused......

TM

; )

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

One of the nicest things ever? Expecting a no-show...and find him waiting for you in a standing present a the bottom of the hotel stairs and a national leather conference.

One of the nicest things ever? Knowing that my girl would drop everything to come to me should I call her to do so.

One of the nicest things ever? Having a houseboy who sincerely and honestly loves service for service's sake...and has only missed two weekends in two years.

One of the nicest things ever? To go to a leather/Ms/spiritual conference and know I'm HOME and with chosen FAMILY.

Master Fire

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: The good , the bad, and the ugly - 5/27/2007 9:53:09 PM

MsBlackheart

Posts: 54
Joined: 7/27/2005
From: Memphis TN
Status: offline

This one is both good and bad...

I moved to be with my first sub, and while it didn't work out- he was separated at the time and decided to go back home, a decision I supported in light of the pressures he was facing that were affecting our happiness- we're friends to this day. I might still be with him if he hadn't made the difficult choice he did (and no, I wasn't the cause of their separation, more a result). Our time together was incredible and I learned so much about my young-dominant self. I will always be his One if only in memory and his wishful "what if's" and I consider it an honor from someone so amazing. It was painful at the time, letting go, and left to face a new city on my own (I moved back months later), but I wouldn't give up the time we had together.

It wouldn't have worked out at all if we both hadn't been honest and communicated along the way, saying what had to be said even when it wasn't fun, but it was absolutely necessary and I can't be happy without it. It also built into me my demand for good chemistry and sexual/kink compatibility (I need not mention my DIStaste for married men, absolutely not now, separated be damned). I got my first taste of what I truly wanted and this man serves as the standard to this day.

_____________________________

"Reality kicks Fantasy's ass every time" -Me

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 20

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