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16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 12:10:48 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's
the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I
can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but
I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and pigs win blue
ribbons."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of  yours. So you know someone whocan post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS .

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't.  Sign here."

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 12:23:52 PM   
subinside


Posts: 233
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Toronto, ON
Status: offline 		some of those were definitely cute.. thanks for posting


_____________________________

~si

You want me to call You what?... i'll take it under advisement.

000-150-313

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 1:09:23 PM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and pigs win blue
ribbons."


So how many did you win officer?

Hey!  Hey!  Stop that!  This is police brutality!  C'mon! You set yourself up for that one!

_____________________________

Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

(in reply to subinside)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 3:37:09 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and pigs win blue
ribbons."


So how many did you win officer?

Hey!  Hey!  Stop that!  This is police brutality!  C'mon! You set yourself up for that one!


LMAO now thats funny

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to Marc2b)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 5:45:34 PM   
sexyteddibare


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/21/2005
Status: offline 		telling an officer...well i was only going one way

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 5:58:27 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		sad, but I can imagine cops saying these things

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/27/2007 6:53:43 PM   
beautyImurDaddy


Posts: 58
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		I am retired after 20 years in law enforcement... and yes... some cops i know actually HAVE said those things.... or a slight variation... like the "you only had 2 beers? what were they 30 gallon drums?"... and definitely in God we trust all other are run NCIC. I am sure there are a million more.... thanks for posting this bear and making me remember the good ole days.

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 12:46:19 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		But let's not forget some of our favorite ways to get out of a ticket (at least for women)

I'm sorry officer, but I just got my period and I really need to get to a bathroom fast.

I am having a horrible bout with the runs and I really am just trying to save myself a mess (buy some fart spray and they are bound to believe you).

(in reply to beautyImurDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 1:22:33 AM   
mastercreeker


Posts: 70
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I actually got out of a ticket once by pleading urinary insanity. I was taking My wife/sub to the OB/GYN for an ultrasound. Doc had told her to drink plenty of fluid beforehand, which she might've taken to excess. As she was obviously pregnant, and obviously in distress, he let Me off with a warning....and the name of a good car detailer, just in case the dam burst, so to speak.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 1:39:41 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline 		*LOL*

Some good ones. My cousin is a retired police officer after 25 years. From the stories he's told me I can TOTALLY believe these comments. One of his co-workers was suspended for a week after a complaint was made about a smart-ass comment he made to a member of the public. I'm going to pass these on to him. :)

(in reply to mastercreeker)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 7:22:37 AM   
ViborgHerre


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well - if you didn't do anything - why did you try to escape? If you can tell me a new story, I'll let you go........

Well - a week ago my wife ran away with a police officer - seeing the blue flashes I tought he was trying to return her.

Have a good day,Sir

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 10:13:28 AM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		They all sound real to me.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/28/2007 7:30:29 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		You have the right to remain silent... please use it.

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/29/2007 3:54:28 AM   
LadyDominaX


Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		These remind me of the stories my cousin used to tell about his adventures in the RCMP.

One involved a woman who had bagged up her groceries at the store and then grabbed them and ran without paying.  She was pursued and threw the groceries over the fence of a nearby yard.  When it went to court, she claimed she was innocent, and that she had bought and paid for the groceries.
"If you paid for them, why did you throw them over the fence?" the judge asked.
Her answer?

"Well I had to get rid of the evidence, your honour."

< Message edited by LadyDominaX -- 5/29/2007 3:59:03 AM >

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: 16 Police Comments - 5/29/2007 3:59:38 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		then there was the irish mugger, that had to take part in identity parade, and while standing in the line-up, as soon as the victim came through the door said;

"thats her, thats the woman i robbed!"


_____________________________


download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

http://www.saab.com/main/GLOBAL/en/download_release_me.shtml


a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to LadyDominaX)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: 16 Police Comments - 6/30/2011 2:43:05 AM   
ExquisiteStings


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		I think number 8 is hilarious. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog? I also like the one  about the new handcuffs that will stretch out with wear. Too funny.

(in reply to m0rgan)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: 16 Police Comments - 6/30/2011 2:59:23 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."


I know people who say that about turning straight girls gay from an episode of Ellen...  (From Wikipedia)

Ellen goes out to dinner with her old friend Richard, a reporter who is in town to cover a story. His producer, Susan, joins them for dessert and she and Ellen hit it off. Ellen goes back to Richard's hotel room. He comes on to her and, uncomfortable, Ellen leaves. She runs into Susan in the hall and returns with her to her room. They continue to enjoy each other's company until Susan tells Ellen that she's gay and that she thought Ellen might be too. Ellen denies it and suggests that Susan is trying to "recruit" her. Susan sarcastically says that she'll have to call "national headquarters" and let them know Ellen got away. "Damn, just one more and I would have gotten that toaster oven." An agitated Ellen leaves Susan's room and returns to Richard's room, determined to sleep with him to prove to herself she is not gay.


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ExquisiteStings)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: 16 Police Comments - 7/3/2011 6:36:26 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		bear,

great post, I think mI know one of them.

CP

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 18
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