RE: How can I be a great sub?

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RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 12:29:21 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

It sounds like you are challenging his "authority" (ugh), just like a child challenges the authority of his/her parents. I think you are looking to see if he is up to the task. you are trying to push his buttons to find out what you can and can not get away with. It is My suspicion that will settle down with time, with you either respecting him in his new role or not (and at this point I am almost completely certain that you do not respect him in his new role. As a husband, yes, but not as a Dom. He has not earned that yet as you both are still fresh.) As long as he remains consistent in his efforts, you will grow to respect him and fully acknowledge his control over you.

That is My hunch anyways.

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RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 5:53:09 AM

IWantYou

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/7/2004
From: Brampton, Ontario
Status: offline

Hi sufergirl

LOL.. I had to chuckle as I read your posts, esspecially ones of your disobedience, sounds a little like my slave but you are slowly without realizing it becoming comfortable with the pain/pleasure of the lifestyle. You sound comfotable with who you are but removing your "legal" side of your relationship, are you comfortable with him as a Dominant?? Does he understand or have a desire to understand what it is to be a Dominant/Master of you??

Now you mentioned you were both new, I can tell you from expereience even thou we both had experiences before we got together W/we have never stopped learning together and that is important. I will tell you as a Master in the beginning I had to come to understand what is was for you to be a submissive and what is was I had to pay attention to. The techniques are not to hard to do but it is how to apply them on you the recipient sometimes is the tricky part and it does not matter what the toys are. They all can cause damage, please remember that.

I am looking forward to reading future posts on this,

IWY

quote:

ORIGINAL: surfergirl

I am new to this lifestyle. My dom is my hisband and I want to serve him in the best way possible. Can any of you give me some hints and advice?

Thanks..
Surfergirl

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Post #: 22

RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 8:26:26 AM

surfergirl

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Well, I tried the kneeling thing and it works! Not only did it put me in the submissive frame of mind, It made my master feel very dominate. It was great to give that to him!
I did feel like being sassy a bit last night, but kept it under control.
Do I repect him as a domiante? I am getting there. I WANT to, and so I will get there. We are going to a dungoun tonight and I ususally pick out my own clothing. Tonight he will. Now this is going to be hard for me. So this will be a true test! LOL!
I told him about posting here and he read it. I think that he also is learing alot. We are getting better at communicating and its going to be a great road to go down!
Thanks fo all the help! I will keep you all updated!

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Post #: 23

RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 2:37:12 PM

calpoly

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

NO offense but you cant just become sub you either are or you arent. Even trained subs are not real. You have realize that as a sub you are property, you exist for your Master's whims and discretion. You and your being 'fiesty' have no place in a D/s if you are flipping him off, you have no concept of what it is to be sub err go you are just pretending to have this new position in your marriage for kicks not for real. Dont play with this unless you are planning on altering your relationship with your Master. And one more note, it takes more than, I want to be slapped around during sex to be a sub and more than being a macho man who doesnt like his lippy wife saying no whenever he wants to do her kind of 'husband' in a vanilla relationship to be a Master. They are very few real subs and Masters and I call BS on you.

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RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 4:15:44 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: calpoly

NO offense but you cant just become sub you either are or you arent. Even trained subs are not real.

They exist. I'd say that's pretty real.

quote:

You have realize that as a sub you are property, you exist for your Master's whims and discretion.

I'm sorry, but only some people have a property/owner dynamic. Others have a very different one. Because one does not want to be property does not remove them from the right to take part in power play.

quote:

You and your being 'fiesty' have no place in a D/s if you are flipping him off, you have no concept of what it is to be sub err go you are just pretending to have this new position in your marriage for kicks not for real.

Some people prefer their partners "feisty" I know a couple that thrives on the conquored dynamic. He needs her to overpower him and "force" him and she needs to force. Just a different power dynamic.

quote:

Dont play with this unless you are planning on altering your relationship with your Master.

Why not? it's fun. If you want to play, why not play? Life, as I see it, is supposed to be fun. My life is very much tied with belonging to my partner. So that is fun. I think the point is enjoyment, in whatever form your enjoyment takes.

quote:

They are very few real subs and Masters and I call BS on you.

While I understand this is just your opinion, it isn't very nice to tell someone that becuase their dynamic is different than yours they are bull shitting.

Different dynamic, different set of people. nothing wrong with that.

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RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 5:47:00 PM

surfergirl

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

NO offense but you cant just become sub you either are or you arent. Even trained subs are not real. You have realize that as a sub you are property, you exist for your Master's whims and discretion. You and your being 'fiesty' have no place in a D/s if you are flipping him off, you have no concept of what it is to be sub err go you are just pretending to have this new position in your marriage for kicks not for real. Dont play with this unless you are planning on altering your relationship with your Master. And one more note, it takes more than, I want to be slapped around during sex to be a sub and more than being a macho man who doesnt like his lippy wife saying no whenever he wants to do her kind of 'husband' in a vanilla relationship to be a Master. They are very few real subs and Masters and I call BS on you.

Well gosh arent' you the all knowing one.. I guess I will just forget all the great advice I have gotten here and go back to my vanilla life since you have called BS on me. Good to know you support people new to this lifestyle..
You know whats even more ironic, is that the group of people we are involved with have more then once explained that this is a lifestyle that really has no rules, what might be right for you is not right for me and vice versa and that seems to be what makes this lifestyle so neat and special. Gosh by your post I guess I and the women who is mentoring me.. who by the way has been in the lifestyle over 30 years.. are wrong..thanks so much for clarifying everything for me.

< Message edited by surfergirl -- 5/21/2005 5:48:30 PM >

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Post #: 26

RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/21/2005 6:58:32 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

NO offense but you cant just become sub you either are or you arent. Even trained subs are not real. You have realize that as a sub you are property, you exist for your Master's whims and discretion. You and your being 'fiesty' have no place in a D/s if you are flipping him off, you have no concept of what it is to be sub err go you are just pretending to have this new position in your marriage for kicks not for real. Dont play with this unless you are planning on altering your relationship with your Master. And one more note, it takes more than, I want to be slapped around during sex to be a sub and more than being a macho man who doesnt like his lippy wife saying no whenever he wants to do her kind of 'husband' in a vanilla relationship to be a Master. They are very few real subs and Masters and I call BS on you.

Not that I care to click on your profile. However you sound very inexperienced. What exactly is your orientation?
The fact you are all knowing only tell's me you have little knowledge within the scene. I've been researching it for 20+ year's now. I've been in a D/s relationship for 16 of those year's. Am I real? Maybe not to you. Just as by your words you have told me you are not real to me.
Do I care if I am real to you? Should the person who asked the question care?
I think the answer to all is no. Name calling is for children. Then again perhaps that is what you are.

(in reply to calpoly)

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Post #: 27

RE: How can I be a great sub? - 5/26/2005 6:19:40 AM

IWantYou

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/7/2004
From: Brampton, Ontario
Status: offline

surfergirl

Excellent you are letting him choose your outfit. Yes it is a good idea that you let him see what you have wrote but that he also has to become a member and read for himself what is here for himself. LOL I realize now that there was lots that I had to better understand about having a slave than just having one submit to me. You slaves take a lot of work but with communication it is easier as time passes and you will both better identify what you need to pay attention to more. Even in the little over the year sinced I collared her we have to talk and the best time i have noticed is right after a session of i.e. spanking in what is refered to as aftercare where I hold and softly caress her esspecially if we have played for quite awhile.

I would like to hear here out things went that night and more. You may use IWY rather than having to type my entire nic :).

quote:

ORIGINAL: surfergirl

Well, I tried the kneeling thing and it works! Not only did it put me in the submissive frame of mind, It made my master feel very dominate. It was great to give that to him!
I did feel like being sassy a bit last night, but kept it under control.
Do I repect him as a domiante? I am getting there. I WANT to, and so I will get there. We are going to a dungoun tonight and I ususally pick out my own clothing. Tonight he will. Now this is going to be hard for me. So this will be a true test! LOL!
I told him about posting here and he read it. I think that he also is learing alot. We are getting better at communicating and its going to be a great road to go down!
Thanks fo all the help! I will keep you all updated!

(in reply to surfergirl)

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Post #: 28