How do you define "smoking"?

How do you define "smoking"? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

How do you define "smoking"?

lights up regularly in legal areas pack+ per day

62% (25)

smokes occasionally on a back patio or front porch

7% (3)

Smokes in certain social situations only

2% (1)

enjoys a cigarette on rare occasions

27% (11)

Total Votes : 40

(last vote on : 1/14/2009 3:24:00 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

GoddessDustyGold -> How do you define "smoking"? (5/20/2005 3:38:54 PM)
I have never posted in this area before, so please bear with Me. I spent some time emailing with a boy, and then 2 hours+ on the phone with him just last night. Everything was absolutely fine, and then, just to cover the bases, I reminded him I am a smoker. Suddenly, this was a major problem. His definition (he was aware I smoked) was that I might smoke one or 2 cigarettes each day or two. I am a smoker. I do not hide that fact. I smoke regularly, and in My house and in My car. I observe public laws regarding designated smoking areas, but in My own home and car, I simply do it. Note also that I seek slaves. So if there is a sensitivity to this issue (health related) I would think the boy (or girl) would be aware of this, and it might be a first question they need to clarify? Anyone certainly has the right to determine that something could not work out, but why wait to suddenly get on the bandwagon about this after a lot of emails and more than 2 hours on a telephone call? I think it should also have been fairly obvious that I was lighting up, even as W/we were speaking. This poll is to satisfy My curiousity as to the average person's definition of "a smoker". Perhaps I will find I need to be much more specific regarding My personal definition of "being a smoker"?

onceburned -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/20/2005 3:59:49 PM)
I define 'smoking' as the process that occurs before something bursts into flames. As long as the domme does not catch fire, (which is really inconvenient) I don't see any big deal (other than health related concerns).

GreyStorm -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/22/2005 4:28:41 PM)
I think you were fine, he was not being realistic. If you had said light or occasional smoker then there might be a problem, but saying you are a smoker to me means you suckle at the teat of mother nicotine when you feel like it. (Is there anything like a cigarette after some hard sex? MMMMM) onceburned----I too find it extremely annoying when they burst into flames, it just kinda ruins the mood. edited because I can't spell worth a damn.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/22/2005 6:16:13 PM)
I define smoking as the act of lighting up a cigarret and puffing it down, wheather that's only once a month or all day everyday a cigarette is a cigarette is a cigarette.

GddssBella -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/23/2005 4:51:23 PM)
G'evening all: Frankly, any smoking is a big issue to me, but only for me. I make it a requirement that any subbies looking to respond to my profile meet certain qualifications, that being one of them. Smoke-free. It's abbreviated, but I do believe that most intelligent folks can decipher what "D/D/S free" stands for. Dusty, I make one suggestion. List it in profile, so future subbies can't bring it up negatively later. There's no list of pre-determined values on here like some sites. You may have very well told him, but most men being what they are, are prone to lapses of reason and memory loss. Chris (onceburned) being one of the exclusions.[sm=kiss.gif] (Congrats on the 1k marker baby. Does this mean spankings are in order, like birthdays?) Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella

onceburned -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/23/2005 8:51:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GddssBella (Congrats on the 1k marker baby. Does this mean spankings are in order, like birthdays?) ooo.... that sounds like fun! [:D]

SweetDommes -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/23/2005 11:19:50 PM)
My vote is for "all of the above" but since that isn't an option, I'm abstaining. For me, any smoke at all is a problem, which is why we require that our boys not be smokers - even if they only "smoke socially" as one put it. Someone smoking around me = about a 75-80% chance of me ending up in the ER after having a coughing fit that makes me black out. But because it's a problem for us, we make it clear what our definition of 'smoking' is, and that they have to fit our definition of a 'non-smoker' ... if it's a problem for him, and he didn't clarify, then he's an idiot and not worth wasting any more of your precious time for. If you'd like, I have a few friends who have a smoking fetish that I can direct your way [;)]

darkinshadows -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/24/2005 4:40:32 AM)
I have never smoked in my life, other than passive. (my profile explains my view) - but my parents have smoked constantly all their life from a very young age. They come from a time where smoking was fashionable and acceptable. Even with their experience, they realise the harm and consequences however. But they still don't stop. I do have a very personal thought to smoking. I dislike it totally. Any smoke, even for a moment is, IMO, smoking... even just once in a life. To myself I view it as an unconsensual act. To smoke means that others do also. Passive smoking. From a health point - I believe that it is the responsibility of a dominant to ensure their health. If they do not see the dangers of smoking, I am biased to believe that if they cannot care for themselves - how can they care for a slave/submissive in the long term. Now that may sound harsh - but it is how I feel. I would feel the same way about someone who drinks(even one unit) and drives. Or drives without a seat belt. Why wait to get on the 'bandwagon' - maybe they may assume, that because you are showing a willingness to take them on - nurture them - that you will be aware and responsible enough to take care of your own health first before they can show you an increased commitment. Peace and love

sissymaidlola -> RE: How do you define "sanctimonious"? (5/26/2005 6:49:17 PM)
quote: I do have a very personal thought to smoking. I dislike it totally. Any smoke, even for a moment is, IMO, smoking... even just once in a life. To myself I view it as an unconsensual act. To smoke means that others do also. Passive smoking. <snip> Now that may sound harsh - but it is how I feel. I would feel the same way about someone who drinks(even one unit) and drives. Or drives without a seat belt. Well, sheesh, pretty stern stuff, eh? No smoking, no drinking (not even one unit!) and driving, no driving without a seat belt ... bring on the Nazis! What better person to respond to a little fascist bastard like that than sissy's good old buddy, dark~angel. Over to you, d~a: But there are no rules. There are individuals. There is no hard and fast rule - no black and white - and if there was, I doubt that the majority of people would even want to be involved with wiitwd if there was. You can't tell people what to do - you can exchange views but none have the right to insist on uniformity. I don't have to blindly follow and submit to every rule and regulation. We care a community of like minded people who converse at times, but practise what we practise when we want, how we want, if we want. No rules. Nor Order. No Functions. The only function, order and rules we have are laid out ourselves. Thats not anachy - thats freedom to exist. Yay, way to go, you showed 'em, d~a! [:D]You showed that little fascist no smoking, no drinking, "must always wear a seat belt" rigid rule imposer what's what, alright! Thank God there are people out there like you that believe in no rules and no order and no functions! Vive liberté à exister! Vive l'anarchie! Oh ... wait a minute ... you are also that rigid little rule imposer, too! Oh, dearie, dearie me ... is there no one on these forums that doesn't talk out of both sides of their ass? [:(] sissy maid lola [image]local://upfiles/21203/7550AAD373274EA8911F0BC3852D002C.jpg[/image]

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/27/2005 8:31:51 PM)
Actually, Bella, after I updated My profile, I realized I had failed to mention smoking. So I added it to My journal. Now since My profile specifically refers anyone to My journal as additional required reading, I had hoped that would cover My ass, but since most don't read the profile anyway, I guess I shouldn't expect them to read the journal either. I handled it that way to keep the profile up and lessen the work load of the mods. As to your personal sensitivity to smoking, I absolutely understand your position, but since you feel that way, I also would not expect you to even consider writing a letter to Me regarding live-in. W

ScooterTrash -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/28/2005 9:56:46 AM)
Interesting poll..seems there should have been more options up the scale..like smokes whenever they want, where ever they can keep big brother from legislating against them. I understand as many are opposed to smoking as are smokers, that's cool, it's a personal preference. By the same token, it's legal, so don't hassle those who do. It puzzles me when the same people that rant that they are all for personal freedoms and that everyone should have the option to think as they like, blast others for doing things they don't approve of, hypocritical seems to come to mind. I will respect someone's specific health issues if smoking causes them immediate problems, like the blackout example or someone with cronic resperatory problems. But to arbitrarily limit an area to no smoking, like ordinances where smoking is prohibited outside or no smoking in a filthy aired factory, are a bit too much. I even generally refuse to patronize resturants that have no provisions for smokers, even though I am not going to smoke while I'm eating. Even more hypocritical is the one's in a resturant who when asked "smoking or non-smoking" say first available..gezzz, now smokers are not only limited to their own little area, but now the same opponents (the perceived enemy) can use up that capacity, damned...if you're not a smoker, stay out of the smoking seating area...we can't sit in yours. It's a tad hard to respect someone elses preferences when they have no respect for others, particularly when there is no just cause. The anti-smoking coalition is as full of crap about their claims as they accuse the pro-smoking coalition to be (a site called "white lies" comes to mind). Health issues..hmm, might be some, makes sense, but all the skewed statistics in the world really don't matter anyway, smokers won't care, non-smokers will. (end of rant) We have always been open about being smokers when talking to potentials and make it clear they have to either be a smoker or not be bothered by it..or it's a deal breaker right off. So is this not being prejudiced? Sure it is, just as predjudiced those who lean the other way..fair is fair. Anyway...there's better things to worry about I guess....feel free to hold your breath while I light up.

sub4hire -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/28/2005 10:43:55 AM)
Smoking to me means any type of smoking. Whether it be one a year or 100 a day. It is all the same. If you rent a non smoking room at a hotel and smoke 2 or 3 while in the room, are you smoking?

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/28/2005 4:49:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire If you rent a non smoking room at a hotel and smoke 2 or 3 while in the room, are you smoking? I'm afraid you lost Me on that one, Gloria. I agree smoking is smoking. And I would never smoke in a non-smoking room or a non-smoking area. My question is, if I say I smoke, should I have to further indicate what being a smoker means? Or should a potential slave applicant who may have a sensitivity to smoking then take the responsibility of clarifying with Me to what extent I smoke. That way he can make a determination if this is going to be a deal-breaker for him, and W/we don't have to waste any more time. I just thought it unusual that someone would accept the fact that I smoked with the assumption that I mean I only smoke one or two cigarettes every couple of days, outside, and then get all upset when he realized I smoke...every day, usually about 20 times a day. If a boy is interested but has a serious problem with cigarette smoking, then I would certainly accept a letter and a question regarding that. If he just ignores it because he assumes it isn't that important until W/we are well into discussions, it kind of burns Me. (pun intended).

sissymaidlola -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/28/2005 10:51:32 PM)
quote: This poll is to satisfy My curiousity as to the average person's definition of "a smoker". Perhaps I will find I need to be much more specific regarding My personal definition of "being a smoker"? Dear Goddess Dusty Gold, sissy Feels that you are being entirely fair and objective about the smoking issue. sissy Requires non-smoking in his partners and he would normally just skip over any Domme profile that he saw where it was stated that She smoked (and he believes he did indeed skip over Your own profile for that very reason, although possibly it was because sissy doesn't consider himself a slave - and if all it takes nowadays to be a slave is to empty a kitty litter or two, or do some house and cat sitting, maybe sissy should reconsider that policy!). If it wasn't stated in the profile and we had reached the point of talking on the phone - or we had reached that point because we had hooked up via a mechanism outside of CollarMe or any other personals system - then if the topic wasn't brought up by the Domme (and in Your case, You did bring it up) sissy would go ahead and ask since it is an important criterion to him and not something that he feels ambivalently about. However, whoever initiated the subject, sissy would nevertheless go ahead and request a qualification of what was being said because "smoking" is a relative term. Thus, if You stated: "BTW, I am a XXXX smoker, is that a problem for you?" (where XXXX = null, light, medium, heavy, or any other qualifier) sissy would respond with, "What do You consider to be XXXX smoking?" (or in the case where XXXX = null, "How heavy a smoker are You?"). Because "smoking" is a relative term that varies with different individuals, any qualification of the term is really a waste of time. Whether You tell sissy that You are a light, medium or heavy smoker the onus is still on sissy to determine exactly what that means ... one person's "heavy smoking" is someone else's "light smoking" etc. Even if You had told the boy in question that You were a "very heavy smoker" the onus is still on him to determine what that actually entailed, so he certainly had no right to automatically assume that "smoker" meant any specific quantity. It should have only served as a trigger to prompt him to establish how much of a smoker you are. In answer to Your poll question, ANY amount of smoking makes You a smoker, Ma'am - as You are finding from most people's posted responses on this thread. It appears to be a peculiar belief of some smokers that low amounts of smoking allows themselves to be called non-smokers! [:D] And for those that are adamant about strict non-smoking such as dark~angel, it really doesn't matter whether You call Yourself a light or heavy or any other kind of smoker. OTOH, most people, no matter how rabidly anti-smoking they might be, are frequently not going to be that hard and fast about it - if they are like sissy, they are going to be willing to make compromises. sissy Would still prefer to hear that You were a complete non-smoker, but if You told him that You only smoked twice a day out on the patio then that is something that is quite workable, even for sissy, granted that everything was firing on all cylinders in all the other areas of potential Mistress / slave compatibility. But that small compromise on the behalf of sissy now makes three of Your four poll smoking categories acceptable to him - but only if You were charming his pants off in other areas, otherwise any of the four categories would probably eliminate You in sissy's mind. So here is the source of Your dilemma, Ma'am. No matter what You describe Yourself as (e.g., light, medium, heavy, etc.) it still needs further discussion and qualification, and even then the potential candidate may still not cut things off while he's still enthralled by You. Although that will apply more to the other three categories in sissy's personal case ... sissy knows that he could not be flexible enough to accommodate a one pack plus a day smoker. But that is him ... someone else could have a different threshold, knowing that they could not be flexible enough to accommodate a three pack plus a day smoker, but perhaps feeling about one pack a day the same way that sissy feels about a 2-3 cigarettes a day. So there is no straightforward answer to Your problem, Ma'am. However, a two hour telephone call is hardly a lot of overhead here. It may have taken sissy the best part of an hour to compose this post to someone that he does not know nor expects anything from. In contrast, Ma'am, You are searching for a life partner, someone that is, in theory, going to give their all to You for the rest of their life, and thus for You to balk at a two hour waste of Your time in this quest may make You appear a bit of a cheapskate to some. This aspect of Your relationship might have a lot more to do with why Your potential boy suddenly got cold feet and decided to make an issue of the smoking when he was prepared to compromise over it up until that juncture. You might wish to re-examine what was occurring in all the other areas of Your conversation with this boy to better understand why he might suddenly decided to play his "wild joker" card. sissy Hopes the foregoing helps and he remains, Respectfrilly Yours, sissy maid lola [image]local://upfiles/21203/7550AAD373274EA8911F0BC3852D002C.jpg[/image]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/28/2005 11:10:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold I have never posted in this area before, so please bear with Me. I spent some time emailing with a boy, and then 2 hours+ on the phone with him just last night. Everything was absolutely fine, and then, just to cover the bases, I reminded him I am a smoker. Suddenly, this was a major problem. His definition (he was aware I smoked) was that I might smoke one or 2 cigarettes each day or two. I am a smoker. I do not hide that fact. I smoke regularly, and in My house and in My car. I observe public laws regarding designated smoking areas, but in My own home and car, I simply do it. In my opinion, if it wasn't smoking, it would have been something else. I cannot imagine cigarettes destroying a possible relationship, unless you're unconsentually lighting up and puffing away in an asthmatic's face, or a sub who really hates it. I don't smoke, except on very rare occasion when I'm out with sisters or girlfriends who smoke, or I'm playing and using someone as an ashtray. I don't believe you need to alter the profile if you mention that you smoke; I mean how much more specific can you be? If he hates it, don't reply, the end... I mean how was he going to cope with your 2 cigarrettes/day?. M

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/29/2005 1:44:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissymaidlola quote: This poll is to satisfy My curiousity as to the average person's definition of "a smoker". Perhaps I will find I need to be much more specific regarding My personal definition of "being a smoker"? However, a two hour telephone call is hardly a lot of overhead here. It may have taken sissy the best part of an hour to compose this post to someone that he does not know nor expects anything from. In contrast, Ma'am, You are searching for a life partner, someone that is, in theory, going to give their all to You for the rest of their life, and thus for You to balk at a two hour waste of Your time in this quest may make You appear a bit of a cheapskate to some. sissy maid lola Now sissy, I would just like to gently remind you that My initial post did specify that I had also spent some time emailing with this boy. I didn't just jump to a phone call, and I also mentioned that it should have been obvious I was lighting up while W/we were speaking. Maybe it wasn't, but most people can tell. It almost seems silly to Me at this point that I even bothered to put this up, (I posted prior to the definition wars in other areas)in view of all the "definition" threads going on right now. And a commonly understood definition of smoking was what I was hoping for, but apparently there isn't one of those either. I am older and I grew up during a time when smoking was more widely accepted. There were ashtrays in doctor's offices when I was young. I realize times have changed, drastically, so I must recognize that there are those who would feel that 2 cigarettes a day is heavy smoking while others feel that a pack a day is just average. I do also note in My profile that I live with another Domina, and her name is given in My profile, so it should not be that much trouble to see that She also smokes and her profile does specifically state "cigarette smoke friendly". But perhaps that is asking too much. Even if I didn't smoke Myself, I still have to contend with that situation. When I say "spent some time emailing" I did mean quite a number of emails. Like at least a dozen or more back and forth. (Gosh, I hope there's a defiinite definition for "dozen"!) Smoking never came up. Lots of other things were discussed in correspondence, but never smoking. On a personal level, I feel that A/anyone who can go without a cigarette (and still be pleasant) for several days, or only smoke while out with friends, is not a serious smoker. They are the "I can take it or leave it" folks. I actually envy those who can just enjoy a cigarette every now and then. I admit it. I'm an addict! More of an addict than some, less of an addict than others, but an addict, nonetheless. As to the telephone conversation, the boy was ready to come for a visit. The call was going perfectly well. All systems seemed "go". But I did want to ensure I covered all bases. I absolutely respect another's right to not want to be around cigarettes. This was not a health issue for him. This was a lifestyle preference. And it was extremely important to him. So important, that I did have to wonder why this wasn't something he wanted clarified much earlier. Maybe in the first two emails? I agree with M. If not the smoking, perhaps it would have been something else. Perhaps not. He even asked if I would consider quitting. I cannot and will not do that. If and when I quit, it will be because I am ready to quit. No, I am not a cheapskate, and I have to say that this was an excellent beginning, and thus, a special disappointment for Me. . I am quiet and soft-spoken and W/we had a wonderful conversation about many, many things. To have weeks of communication suddenly end because a boy didn't pay attention is what bothers Me. But then, I also have to be quite specific on what a "slave" means to Me. I put that in My profile too. Not that is does that much good! (smiles)

perverseangelic -> RE: How do you define "smoking"? (5/29/2005 11:20:55 AM)
I consider "smoking" to mean "do it regularly." I smoke maybe 1 cigarette a month. 2 tops. I don't consider myself a smoker. I greatly enjoy smoking. I also know what it does to my health and that my partner hates it. I consider one cigarette a month to be...well...not enough to call myself a smoker. 12 a year isn't even 1/2 a pack :)

sissymaidlola -> RE: Non-smoking smokers! (5/29/2005 12:07:34 PM)
quote: I consider "smoking" to mean "do it regularly." I smoke maybe 1 cigarette a month. 2 tops. I don't consider myself a smoker. I greatly enjoy smoking. I also know what it does to my health and that my partner hates it. I consider one cigarette a month to be...well...not enough to call myself a smoker. 12 a year isn't even 1/2 a pack :) I consider "killing" to mean "do it regularly." I murder maybe 1 person a month. 2 tops. I don't consider myself a killer. I greatly enjoy killing. I also know what it does to my mental stability and that the FBI hates it. I consider one murder a month to be...well...not enough to call myself a murderer. 12 a year isn't even serial killing :) [sm=lol.gif]Some people just do NOT understand how the English language works! If sissy is ever made King of the World, these people would be repeatedly hit over the head with a rubber chicken! [sm=lol.gif] sissy maid lola [image]local://upfiles/21203/7550AAD373274EA8911F0BC3852D002C.jpg[/image]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Non-smoking smokers! (5/29/2005 1:45:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissymaidlola I smoke maybe 1 cigarette a month. 2 tops. I don't consider myself a smoker. I consider "killing" to mean "do it regularly." I murder maybe 1 person a month. 2 tops. I don't consider myself a killer. I greatly enjoy killing. I also know what it does to my mental stability and that the FBI hates it. I consider one murder a month to be...well...not enough to call myself a murderer. 12 a year isn't even serial killing :) [sm=lol.gif]Some people just do NOT understand how the English language works! If sissy is ever made King of the World sissy maid lola Sissy, come here, let me tell you a secret: IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS! Are you getting any? You're kind of high strung there babe. Smoking occasionaly in your house or in front of your lover IS NOT and will never be comparable to murdering someone.. You're definitely never going to become king of the world if you don't loosen up.. M

sissymaidlola -> RE: Non-smoking smokers! (5/29/2005 2:50:46 PM)
quote: Smoking occasionaly in your house or in front of your lover IS NOT and will never be comparable to murdering someone.. And no one said that it was. You're the one that needs to chill out here! [;)] The post was about the correct and appropriate use of verbs in English. It wasn't about how egregious sissy felt smoking was or was not. sissy Was simply showing, by means of different verbs ("to kill / murder") how ridiculous her statement was ... and also how in denial Perverse is about her smoking. If she smokes one cigarette a year she is a smoker ... it's that simple. The verb "TO BE" has no levels of relativity associated with it. Either one IS a smoker or one is NOT a smoker. What determines that? Well, do you smoke? Yes. Then you ARE a smoker. Period. How often one smokes has nothing to do with it. Only a smoker in denial would write something like that. Only another smoker in denial would read sissy's post the way You did. It has nothing to do with whether sissy approves or disapproves of smoking or smokers. It has everything to do with the correct use of English. In future, please read more carefully and engage brain before pounding on the keyboard! [sm=lol.gif] sissy maid lola [image]local://upfiles/21203/7550AAD373274EA8911F0BC3852D002C.jpg[/image]

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