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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/29/2007 7:12:39 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

By no means is this an "across the board" type phenomenon but I was wondering if anyone else has ever noticed this. I have noticed on message boards that sometimes people seem to stick together and defend each other based upon orientation. There is some kind of "subbie sisterhood" where if one submissive is taken to task by a Dominant, a line of her "subbie sisters/brothers" will step up in her defense. If it is a Domme....other Dommes will defend. I don't see it happen nearly as often with male Doms. 

Has anyone else ever made this observation?


Of course.

Chics side with chics...sub (men) side with whoever might get them laid.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:05:51 AM   
MellowSir


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Yeah I've been stampeded a few times, especially when I broach the "I claim I'm looking but not really" subject lol.  Just because these forums and such, and the lifestyle set themselves apart from society as a whole, doesn't mean the same herd mentalities don't affect people here too, they do.

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:10:59 AM   
AquaticSub


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I think the reason you get stampeded is because that's code for "I'm looking, but not for you."

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MellowSir)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:19:53 AM   
susie


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I do not know anyone here personally. Master and I do not really mix with others in the lifestyle and those that we do know are UK based and do not use CM. When I post I post my views on the subject being discussed and it does not matter who is posting I will respond in the same way no matter what. I have seen the clique thing happening but not so much here as on another website I use. That one is UK based and there are certain people there that you cannot disagree with or you will be jumped on by many for having the "wrong" point of view.

If I post anything here in support of anyone it is because I am supporting their viewpoint and not the person.


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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:31:50 AM   
MellowSir


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Not at all, I've actually had quite a bit of luck, here and elsewhere, just haven't found one that fully satisfies yet, but I shall.  In the meantime it's feast or famine usually lol.  And even if I did get an equal number of those showing interest, that some women do, I'd take a minute to reply. If I didn't have the time to reply then I'd sure not have the greater time to be there in person.....now watch and wait for the inevitable stampede on THAT statement lol 

< Message edited by MellowSir -- 5/30/2007 8:33:21 AM >

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:34:37 AM   
KatyLied


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quote:

I'd take a minute to reply. If I didn't have the time to reply then I'd sure not have the greater time to be there in person.....now watch and wait for the inevitable stampede on THAT statement lol 


Not a quick study, are ya?


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:47:59 AM   
MellowSir


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Maybe I enjoy provoking a reaction, in a virtual world who can really tell.....certainly the ones easily provoked don't take a genius to spot lol, all in good fun and if the occasional healthy debate surfaces, then all the better


< Message edited by MellowSir -- 5/30/2007 8:51:19 AM >

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:50:28 AM   
mistoferin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir
Maybe I enjoy provoking a reaction, in a virtual world who can really tell.....


Out of everything you have posted, this definitely has the loudest ring of truth to it. A confession???

_____________________________

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MellowSir)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:51:41 AM   
KatyLied


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Public humiliation kink, anyone?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 8:54:21 AM   
MellowSir


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Sure I'll confess to anything I'm guilty of, I never claimed to be perfect after all

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 9:13:50 AM   
TigressFL


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I have not encountered this situation with submissives (or any other orientation) at real life groups or events. What I have seen has been online where a submissive has been in chat rooms or has gotten a lot of messages from people that "expected" him or her to be submissive to anyone that wanted them to be; i.e. they would get messages to the effect of "on your knees bitch" from total strangers. As a result some lash out and go on the defense on a regular basis with a battle cry of "Just because I am submissive....." rather than chalking it up to that person is an idiot. Another thing I have seen is that some submissives viewing *slaves* as doormats and as such they fight tooth and nail against *slavery*. Ignorant for sure but it is how many I have encountered view it because they are going by gut reactions rather than any practical knowledge.

What I have witnessed within these boards that I find rather interesting is that there appears to be a double standard with regard to posts that seem to be trolling rather than a valid topic of discussion. I have noticed males being attacked for having these types of posts and yet some women getting away with exact type of “self-advertising” or trolling posts. Interesting to say the least. The sheer pack mentality toward what is considered trolling is rather interesting in and of it self, when you notice the gender bias it is even more interesting to me. I personally could care less if someone really is trolling in his or her post. I must say though that any time you have a group of people that come together on a regular basis there are going to be clicks and there are going to be some pack mentalities. There are many here that I think of as the “Posting Mafia” because if anyone posts out of their comfort zone they are sure to pounce on the person in attempt to get them to post what and how they think everyone should be posting or simply out of frustration. They just appear to not be able to control the discomfort of their expectations’ not being met so they must set the person straight and not just occasionally but these people seem to seek out posts to complain about while at the very same time they complain about people posting about their personal complaints. <laughing>  Interesting!



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Live your own truth, Life is short

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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 10:23:55 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
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From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

By no means is this an "across the board" type phenomenon but I was wondering if anyone else has ever noticed this. I have noticed on message boards that sometimes people seem to stick together and defend each other based upon orientation. There is some kind of "subbie sisterhood" where if one submissive is taken to task by a Dominant, a line of her "subbie sisters/brothers" will step up in her defense. If it is a Domme....other Dommes will defend. I don't see it happen nearly as often with male Doms. 

Has anyone else ever made this observation?


I haven't noticed that, but I've definitely noticed that there are certain people that will come and defend certain people in threads - I don't know if they are friends or whatever.  There are also some people that will always come into a thread with a joke, and other people that will always come into a thread if it has a particular person in it and make negative comments (probably some sort of history that I'm not fully aware of).

It is very fascinating to watch though.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 11:03:42 AM   
crouchingtigress


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From: Maui
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its like everything else if you believe something...you will find eveidence of it everywhere, if you dont you wont.

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 11:44:51 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

By no means is this an "across the board" type phenomenon but I was wondering if anyone else has ever noticed this. I have noticed on message boards that sometimes people seem to stick together and defend each other based upon orientation. There is some kind of "subbie sisterhood" where if one submissive is taken to task by a Dominant, a line of her "subbie sisters/brothers" will step up in her defense. If it is a Domme....other Dommes will defend. I don't see it happen nearly as often with male Doms. 

Has anyone else ever made this observation?


Yes but not based upon orientation (what i bolded above). In fact i made a whole thread about it "Constructive Ideas Needed" - the idea being that certain people here have formed "cliques" and they support each other in bashing certain posters or what they percieve as "drama threads"

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 11:56:12 AM   
mistoferin


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I honestly have not seen a lot of cliquish behavior here. Some may perceive there is but on closer inspection they may find that not to be the case. I think that what happens more often is that there are groups of people who have similar mindsets. As an example, on the collar of protection thread that is going on right now, there are 5 or more of us that have essentially the same POV. Some may look at that and say that we are in a clique or that we are supporting or defending each other. But if one looks closer they would see that every one of us has been on opposite sides of an argument at times and just as boldy expressed our views...even in opposition of each other. If you don't believe me, ask LA or dark or Katy and they will each tell you that on some other topics we have had some fierce "battles".

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/30/2007 11:59:08 AM >


_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 12:26:49 PM   
KatyLied


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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

they will each tell you that on some other topics we have had some fierce "battles".





_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 12:51:05 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
DISCLAIMER:  i do not know susie and am not posting to defend and/or validate her opinions.  She is not my buddy, friend, or crony and i'm not adding my 2 cents to try to bolster what she has said.  With that said............
 
I do not know anyone here personally. Master and I do not really mix with others 
Same here, susie.  The number of people from the forums i have messaged with on a regular basis can be counted in a single digit. 

When I post I post my views on the subject being discussed and it does not matter who is posting I will respond in the same way no matter what.
Ditto.  There are posters with whom i regularly agree and, oftentimes, i will do what i have done here and quote someone as a jumping off point to express my own opinions.  i don't do it to just pipe in with a "me too" thing as was mentioned earlier - not that there's anything wrong with that.  There are so many people posting here that that's bound to happen.  Usually by the time i get around to posting, the usual suspects have already answered and given the definitive answers.  If others couldn't occasionally say "ditto" or something similar, they'd never get a chance to opine on anything. 

I have seen the clique thing happening
there are certain people there that you cannot disagree with or you will be jumped on by many for having the "wrong" point of view
Yeah, but as long as you realize that's total bs, you'll be fine

If I post anything here in support of anyone it is because I am supporting their viewpoint and not the person
i agree totally. 
 
i'm not sure when it became so absolutely unacceptable to "defend" someone of like mind.  Sure, they're adults and don't need someone else to speak FOR them.  But if they are making what i consider a valid point and are being basically "ganged up on," why is it so wrong to come along and offer encouragement and attempt to help them make a good point?  And, even if they aren't being ganged up on, but you have something to offer that helps make their point, why not offer it and try to help them out?
 
A lot of people also tend to have a problem when friends or partners routinely "defend" each others' points.  i also don't see why that's an issue.  i'd hate to think they wouldn't.  Yes, if one of them consistently "starts something" and then the other steps up to "finish" it, that's not too cool to me.  But, in cases like juliaoceania and Sinergy - a couple who regularly gets jumped on for "tag teaming" people  - they are both very capable individually of making a well-thought out argument.  They don't have to depend on the other to do it for them.  However, they agree and often come together to make a unified argument, as it were.  What is so wrong with that?  If i were to meet with them for dinner, for example, i wouldn't find it odd if they agreed and worked together to make an argument/point.  Why should they feel they can't do that here? 
 
A final point:  i said it the other day and i'll say it again.  WHY is it so wrong to want to feel validated?  That term is tossed around on here like a 4-letter word!  It's not a bad thing, folks.  Merriam-Webster's online dictionary say it means:
to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis <experiments designed to validate the hypothesis> b : to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of <validate his concerns.  i'll take all the validation i can get when i feel i'm making a worthy point.
 
i think several others have said it well:  i don't regularly "defend" the same people but i'll always pipe in to "defend" what i feel is a worthwhile point......................slave luci 




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(in reply to susie)
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RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 1:54:51 PM   
CuriousLord


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Strength in numbers, yeah, I guess.  May also be empathy, as such people may share similar thoughts and experience.

Yeah, male dominant, to an extreme, so I have a hard time empathizing with the feeling of sticking up for another.  Not like there's any need.  It's just a message board.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 2:53:23 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Not at all, I've actually had quite a bit of luck, here and elsewhere, just haven't found one that fully satisfies yet, but I shall.  In the meantime it's feast or famine usually lol.  And even if I did get an equal number of those showing interest, that some women do, I'd take a minute to reply. If I didn't have the time to reply then I'd sure not have the greater time to be there in person.....now watch and wait for the inevitable stampede on THAT statement lol 


*chuckles* I don't know about that. If you got letters saying "I loved your profile" but they were balant lies, you'd probably lose respect too. I only respond to them all to tell them what horrible, idiotic liars they are in no uncertain terms.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: "Us" against "Them"...strength ... - 5/30/2007 7:34:14 PM   
Evlgryn


Posts: 64
Joined: 9/24/2004
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As a Dominant, I sometimes check in on my slave wildfleurs , see what she is posting about. Sometimes to see the original posts from which she has asked my opinion. Sometimes letting her birddog the interesting threads. Sometimes just from nosiness. It gives me an idea of the issues she is interested in. And sometimes I will jump in for support or clarity on an issue. Am sure I am not the only one, and am certain it accoounts for some of the phenomonen that started this thread.  She has never asked for my help in any forum like this...but I hate to see her have to defend her bona fides herself, when she has a master she has served nearly a decade who is here to do it for her.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
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