farieanne -> RE: BDSM glue (5/29/2007 9:29:11 PM)
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Someone said that they see BDSM and D/s as different and i do as well. The BDSM part is fun, icing, so to speak, but it's the D/s i am here for. I have been on my own since i was 15. i managed to never be homeless and never sell myself or drugs, i even graduated with honors. It was hard but i controlled and managed. i was told how strong i was both mentally and physically. When people thought of me it was not of a soft, meek, feminine person. i got married young had UM and got divorced young. i raised two UM mostly alone. All this i did and did well. However i was always a nervous wreck. Never completely happy even to the point of having a problem with my temper. When i have to do things that i am in control and in charge i can do it but i am a nervous wreck the whole time. Something as simple as a bus ride or plane trip. The entire time i feel i am doing it wrong, making mistakes and it makes me TOTALLY insane. i got online for the first time in '99' and started seeing glimpses of BDSM and D/s. i still did not begin really reading until late 2000 early 2001. WOW! It was me. someone had climbed into my heart and mind and wrote it all down. i begin to learn and grow. A side of me i had repressed started to emerge, a softer more feminine me and boy i like her. Now mid 2007 i am owned, collard, and married to an AMAZING Dom i met in early 2005 whom i am crazily in love with. i have never been happier. i have never felt more womanly and feminine. i have never felt so calm, relaxed, and free. my temper, though not completely under control, Hey it was out of control for near 40 years, is much better. Why would i not stay? Why would i stop being me?
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