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Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:06:45 PM

Valyraen

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline

Allow me to preface my question with a bit of background. My kitten, Aqua, while submissive to me is very much of an alpha female personality type. This leads to a bit of fun in our dynamic that I like to call "aggressive submission". Before anyone starts knocking it, I find it very endearing and have encouraged Aqua to continue.

Now then, while Aqua is submissive to me, she's often said that she'd switch to dom a girl, should she meet one that she felt strongly enough about and I didn't have a problem with her doing so. So, I was thinking about her inclinations compared to some of the information that I've seen across the CM forums (now, to be fair, this was at about 6:45 this morning while I was prepping for work), and it got me wondering. Thus, I pose to the submissive(/slave/whatever term you feel appropriate to apply to yourself) community:

For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations? Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?

P.S. Please forgive any convolutions in sentence structure - sometimes, in my desire to be clear, I get a bit... intricate. If anyone needs me to pose this question less delicately, I'd be more than happy to.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:15:37 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valyraen

Allow me to preface my question with a bit of background. My kitten, Aqua, while submissive to me is very much of an alpha female personality type. This leads to a bit of fun in our dynamic that I like to call "aggressive submission". Before anyone starts knocking it, I find it very endearing and have encouraged Aqua to continue.

Now then, while Aqua is submissive to me, she's often said that she'd switch to dom a girl, should she meet one that she felt strongly enough about and I didn't have a problem with her doing so. So, I was thinking about her inclinations compared to some of the information that I've seen across the CM forums (now, to be fair, this was at about 6:45 this morning while I was prepping for work), and it got me wondering. Thus, I pose to the submissive(/slave/whatever term you feel appropriate to apply to yourself) community:

For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations? Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?

P.S. Please forgive any convolutions in sentence structure - sometimes, in my desire to be clear, I get a bit... intricate. If anyone needs me to pose this question less delicately, I'd be more than happy to.

Until I read this post I would have said no way do I have a switch bone in my body..
but..
my dom calls me his alphasub & friends tend to rely on me if something has to be done. I've been in trainer positions at work more than once although maybe that is just because I'm a Leo?
Now that you've confused my self-identity

I wonder if the perceived differences between what I thought I was & what I thought they were are just that.. perceived. Confusion abounds.
Oy.

I'm going to do some thinking on this one.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:36:47 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valyraen

...
For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations? Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies? ...

I am a submissive who LOVES to Top! The only difference I see in myself and submissives who do not top...is a keen interest in the physicality and sadism that comes with playing with edgy toys. Still...I'm as submissive as the day is long.

That said...for some who don't 'get it' (which may have been me a couple years ago), while I don't feel I'm at all dominant (much to the dismay of more than one submissive man), I AM consentually sadistic and quite good with floggers and canes and things cause 'ouch'! LOL I believe I'm moving to the place where I could actually 'switch' with the same person...given some time.

beverly

edited to add See: MsBearle ...perhaps one day I'll have but one profile. For so long I didn't see this as 'switching' though!

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 5/29/2007 4:40:52 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:37:15 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Jenny, it made my head hurt when he first started talking about the concept too!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:38:50 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Jenny, it made my head hurt when he first started talking about the concept too!

Ha! Does that happen often with the two of you?

I'm glad he posed this question actually, its giving me something totally new to consider about myself. After all isn't that what it's all about?

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 4:46:14 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have no clue if I am different from others that have switch inclinations. I do not have the desire to switch with anyone so far in my journey. I have never had a top type fantasy. I have been refered to as an alpha type submissive by my former dom because I am a take charge type of person, but I am not to the dom in my life.

I do not equate my aggressive side with being unsubmissive. I have a warrior type spirit in many ways, but even warriors have to obey the person that commands them. I have no desire to command anyone.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:28:35 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valyraen
My kitten, Aqua, while submissive to me is very much of an alpha female personality type.

I'm the same way. Matter of fact, it's been my experience that I'm more dominant than a lot of Doms I know. Master is someone that is actually mentally stronger than I am, so it brings out the submissive in me. He refers to this as "Lioness Syndrome". A lioness is very strong and self sufficient. In fact, they care for the whole pride. However, the one that she will submit to is the lion who is the head of the pride.

And I love topping and being Dominant over other women.

I will say that I think I'm less likely to cave on issues than the purely submissive women that I know. (The "you're not a real submissive" line has never worked on me) I have no issues standing up for myself or telling someone to fuck off. I also was very very picky when it came to finding my life partner.

From a submission standpoint, no, I don't see a difference. My dedication to him is the same as many of the "slubs" I know. I submit my will to him 24/7/365. I just have been blessed to have been given permission to play freely with other women. (which he enjoys watching)

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/29/2007 5:30:14 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:29:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well first I will divorce the idea that personality = orientation. Having a strong, aggressive, dominant personal has NOTHING to do with having a dominant orientation or wanting to dominate others in a personal intimate relationship.

Secondly, it's extremely common for someone to hold their submission very tightly towards one person and feel aggressively on the other side when it comes to "competition" or other women. I have found this most true with females who bond more with males socially anyway and who do not fit the typical female stereotypes.

Finally, yes of course there's a difference between a sub and a switch. One's a switch and one isn't.

Otherwise, no I haven't seen any differences.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:30:27 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

Here I speak for myself, and only myself. I am an individual.. I am a submissive in that I find it much easier to express my innermost feelings and self in close personal relationships when in the submissive role.. which in this particular dynamic are formed exclusively with women - dominant women.

My submission is SSC, it is conscious, it is consensual, done through choice, and when that choice is accepted it becomes commitment.

My submission varies and takes on the necessary characteristics, nature and mood required or influenced by my Domme's needs, the situation, the atmosphere or my feelings or moods. I can be feisty, bolshy, or I can be a doormat, I can submit with a deep haunting intensity, it can be physical, tangible, or it can be ethereal, mystic, but in all cases it is real, heartfelt and sincere.

But I can switch.. and tend to switch invariably with men.. i.e. male submissives - preferably the experienced, seasoned types who know what brings out their submission and what hits that little spot in their psyche which makes them go 'aaah' (just as I do with Female Dominants). Again it can take my mood, the situation, the submissive, even an isolated reaction - I can be friendly, patient, sensual, maternal even, then all of a sudden turn mean, sadistic and hard.

In life I am both, both submissive... and dominant and assertive. At times my life is difficult and challenging, but I face adversity like a game, I am a strategist, I know when to play ball, when to let go, and when to fight. I choose my conflicts carefully, I can walk away, appear to walk away, and I can appear to be staring defeat in the face for a long time, then circumstances change, an opportunity arises, and I make my move. Yes, I can be defeated, I can be beaten, but I can never be destroyed or annihilated.

Am I a true submissive? A true submissive switch? I am neither. I am a true 'me' - nothing more, nothing less. How does that compare to other submissives?

I am me - nobody else - so how do I compare to another person?

Draw your own conclusions.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:31:56 PM

SadisticMan

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well first I will divorce the idea that personality = orientation. Having a strong, aggressive, dominant personal has NOTHING to do with having a dominant orientation or wanting to dominate others in a personal intimate relationship.

Secondly, it's extremely common for someone to hold their submission very tightly towards one person and feel aggressively on the other side when it comes to "competition" or other women. I have found this most true with females who bond more with males socially anyway and who do not fit the typical female stereotypes.

Finally, yes of course there's a difference between a sub and a switch. One's a switch and one isn't.

Otherwise, no I haven't seen any differences.

You are a wise Lady.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:37:39 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Jenny, it made my head hurt when he first started talking about the concept too!

Ha! Does that happen often with the two of you?

I'm glad he posed this question actually, its giving me something totally new to consider about myself. After all isn't that what it's all about?

Actually... yes. *Grins* We'll often come up with something that makes the other's head hurt. We talk about it for awhile, consider the idea on its merits and its cons... and then we devolve into Invader Zim references.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:48:40 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Aquatic you are so dead for this...

"I'm telling you man, smoke machines are the way to go"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 5:57:57 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

YAY! WE'RE DOOMED!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 6:02:42 PM

Valyraen

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Aquatic you are so dead for this...

"I'm telling you man, smoke machines are the way to go"

It's so very rare that any of us get an opportunity to call you on somethin', LA... so you'll forgive me for having to seize the moment.

"Everything's always lasers with you. I'm telling you, smoke machines are what the people rea- *insert frenzied screaming*"

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 6:04:58 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Sorry everyone... he gets anal about his quotes. We actually put on Invader Zim to be sure! On the bright side, if you can ever catch him... well let's just say it's a lot of fun!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 7:40:33 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I do not have a switch bone in my body. I am feisty, and
spirited but those qualities alone do not make me a switch. I have been with other women as lovers and nothing else. I do not feel the need to dominate them. Same goes for other men. I'm just not a switch and that is all that needs to be said. Some are, I am not

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 16

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 8:26:05 PM

smilingjaguar

Posts: 271
Status: offline

I have quite a few sadistic desires should we ever find the right girl. I found the right chemistry once, but the girl was in shambles, really. I don't mind a fixer upper, but this was a "gut it" situation. I still fantasize about her on occasion, though. The chemistry was that great. Now to find something close in the semisortakindasane realm.

I wonder about lioness syndrome and if any of the "proud doormats" around here have fantasies about domming women?

Edit: I've wondered about the whole definition thing too and wondered if only wanting to dom females with the approval of one's owner makes you a switch. I have never had a desire to dom a male.

< Message edited by smilingjaguar -- 5/29/2007 8:31:11 PM >

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 8:39:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I have wandered into dangerous territory over my head now and will slowly make my way out the back door, back to the wall, slowly creeping out...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to smilingjaguar)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 8:42:08 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I'm not a switch for the same reason that I'm not bi-. It's just not part of my make-up. I am not interested in topping anyone. I am not sadistic. I will give orders when I'm put in charge of something, like the food at an event, but that is a submissive act in my head and heart.

I watch other submissives and see topping/switching developing in them, but I know it's not in me.

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 9:23:23 PM

lovewithoutfear

Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline

"For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations?"

Just different strokes for different folks is all. I read somewhere recently the concept that slaves are (or can be) "obedient dominants." That certainly suits me.

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 20

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