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RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/29/2007 10:37:48 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?

 
From the responses i have read here, i would have to say that there is a difference between me and the Alphasub females.  And, i like that difference.  i would love nothing more that to be able to find such a female to be Dominant (and sadistic) to me and be submissive to my Master.  In fact, my Master & i have been searching for such a female for over a year.
 
i am a total Beta female, or lower, if possible.  i have intense desires to be submissive to an Alpha female, especially if she would enjoy inflicting pain on me.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to lovewithoutfear)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 4:53:26 AM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valyraen

Allow me to preface my question with a bit of background. My kitten, Aqua, while submissive to me is very much of an alpha female personality type. This leads to a bit of fun in our dynamic that I like to call "aggressive submission". Before anyone starts knocking it, I find it very endearing and have encouraged Aqua to continue.

Now then, while Aqua is submissive to me, she's often said that she'd switch to dom a girl, should she meet one that she felt strongly enough about and I didn't have a problem with her doing so. So, I was thinking about her inclinations compared to some of the information that I've seen across the CM forums (now, to be fair, this was at about 6:45 this morning while I was prepping for work), and it got me wondering. Thus, I pose to the submissive(/slave/whatever term you feel appropriate to apply to yourself) community:

For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations? Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?

P.S. Please forgive any convolutions in sentence structure - sometimes, in my desire to be clear, I get a bit... intricate. If anyone needs me to pose this question less delicately, I'd be more than happy to.

Interesting question. I am VERY service oriented. When faced with someone who is really submissive and needy, what they most need is someone to press them down so that they can relax and be peaaceful. I identify as a submissive, and consider myself such, but that inner drive to serve the need of  the other is really strong. The more powerful someone elses drive to submit, and the deeper their need, the more likely I am to be able to top them well. As far as being a Domme goes, I just don't have the wiring to want to own anyone, it's just not in me. At best, I have moments where I might function as a submissive passifier of sorts, but it's pretty rare. I'm very fussy and picky and Sir would have to agree to whatever I did, even something as simple as having someone get me coffee. I haven't topped in the past year, except to help Sir out at the dungeon once or twice. Insuring my own needs in life are balanced and met is actually something I am trying to get better at, historically I have sucked at it. On some level for me, it's very deeply about what the other person needs, beyond roles or preconcieved identitites.

(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 5:03:51 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Can I toss another question into the mix, not to muddy the waters. Something that occured to me while I was reading the various replies.

Those of you with switch tendancies who would be an alpha for your Owners (gender nonwithstanding since this applies to male and female alpha types) do your Dom leanings only seem to be toward those of your own gender?

My reason for thinking of this is my own experience. Angel and I had a conversation like this, when I was consindering bringing on a big sister for him. He cannot be Dom to a female, it isnt something he can ever see himself doing. However on the same side, he cant be sub to a male. We dont know if he could be dom to one or not, the situation has never arisen where hed be asked to try. On the other hand, I have had sub girls under me that could easly have been my Alpha with other girls, but not with men.  So, Im curous as to others responses.
(not to hijack your thread, just to add to it)

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to WillowRain)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 5:37:03 AM   
corysub


Posts: 1492
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovewithoutfear

"For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations?"

I have a strong personality in business but don't think about switching to top a woman.  My place in intimate relations is at the foot of a dominant woman and where I feel most secure.  As far as people who do switch, as long as it makes them happy and they have a partner who also is a switch, hey, enjoy!

(in reply to lovewithoutfear)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 9:44:39 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Those of you with switch tendancies who would be an alpha for your Owners (gender nonwithstanding since this applies to male and female alpha types) do your Dom leanings only seem to be toward those of your own gender?


For the most part yes. I'm oriented more towards women than men. My female friends are ccoing over Brad Pitt, I'm cooing over Angelina. It takes an exceptional man to register on my radar. So, I like that the switching fulfills the "bi" side of me.

The second part of that is that behavior wise, male and female subs are quite different. I'm trying to find a way to put this delicately and there doesn't seem to be one.  I've found that many male subs tend to be either effeminate or grovelers. I just don't find that attractive. I do know a few male subs that are strong. They don't subvert their maleness to be submissive, and I think they're wonderful. I'd Domme over someone like that with no problems.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 10:43:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Valyraen,
 
this slave believes there is a difference in how, when, why and to whom she has the inclination to submit to, as opposed to everyone else who identifies as submissive, not just the one's who also identify as switch, top or alpha.
 
Why?  because this slave doesn't share the same unique ancestry, upbringing, experiences, responsibilities, physical abilities, desires, training, etc. as they do.
 
Many here seek one-true-way-isms about what defines a submissive personality and/or identity in a relationship.  when this slave was first aware that folks matched up according to Top/bottom, Dom/sub, Master/slave, she assumed that all folks who identified as submissive were, all the time.  WRONG!!!
 
to date, this slave isn't aware of ANY submissive or style of submission she doesn't view as different, because everyone is unique and has their very own perception of their reality---their truth.
 
what a boring world it would be if we weren't different.

(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 1:57:21 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valyraen

Allow me to preface my question with a bit of background. My kitten, Aqua, while submissive to me is very much of an alpha female personality type. This leads to a bit of fun in our dynamic that I like to call "aggressive submission". Before anyone starts knocking it, I find it very endearing and have encouraged Aqua to continue.

This part of your OP and your description of your kitten could be a description of myself. I don't know if I would go so far as to call it "agressive submission" though. I will only be with a Domina that understands and enjoys my alpha female submissive personality.
 
Yes,  I do find a differences in alpha submissive traits than a person who tends to be closer to the sub/slave end of the spectrum.
 
Missy.

edited to add; I don't think I would call it submissive switch either as your title says. Just dosen't fit for me personally.

< Message edited by brightspot -- 5/30/2007 2:01:21 PM >

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 2:08:14 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?



Yes, I do.  No better or worse - just different.

(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/30/2007 4:42:52 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		Hear, hear! I'm completely in accord, as I've been boggled by how completely different people are on more than one occasion. Personally, I can't see myself ever submitting to anyone, as that's almost diametrically opposite the sort of personality that I am. I was just pondering the several discussions that Aqua and I have had regarding her submission and our dynamic, and the question came to mind. I felt it had some merit as a question, so I decided to ask it.

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CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Submissive Switches? - 5/31/2007 6:31:57 AM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Can I toss another question into the mix, not to muddy the waters. Something that occured to me while I was reading the various replies.

Those of you with switch tendancies who would be an alpha for your Owners (gender nonwithstanding since this applies to male and female alpha types) do your Dom leanings only seem to be toward those of your own gender?

My reason for thinking of this is my own experience. Angel and I had a conversation like this, when I was consindering bringing on a big sister for him. He cannot be Dom to a female, it isnt something he can ever see himself doing. However on the same side, he cant be sub to a male. We dont know if he could be dom to one or not, the situation has never arisen where hed be asked to try. On the other hand, I have had sub girls under me that could easly have been my Alpha with other girls, but not with men.  So, Im curous as to others responses.
(not to hijack your thread, just to add to it)

DV


Gender is irrelative for me, it's about their interior and what is happening inside of them. It's about the nature of their need and the intensity of their longing.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 3:09:36 PM   
SoquilisGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 5/26/2006
Status: offline 		To the OP - yes, I think subs and switches are different - otherwise we wouldn't need 2 words to describe them. ;) (Also, LA's answer was right-on, as usual.)

To DV (quoted below)
I have dommed men in the past, and can imagine domming a woman, although as some others have said - she would have to be very special. I'm extremely particular about the sorts of women I am attracted to. Someone mentioned Angelina - I adore her, but I can't imagine wanting to Domme her. Perhaps the opposite if I was in the right kind of mood.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Can I toss another question into the mix, not to muddy the waters. Something that occured to me while I was reading the various replies.

Those of you with switch tendancies who would be an alpha for your Owners (gender nonwithstanding since this applies to male and female alpha types) do your Dom leanings only seem to be toward those of your own gender?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 5:13:42 PM   
frazzle40


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		As others have said, basically each to there own.     I run my own business, have been a single mum for 19 years, at home and work i make the descisions.
Would i want to Domme?    
Not in a million years, just isnt me.       I suppose i could if ordered to and given instructions, but then that wouldnt be me Domming would it.. LOL

(in reply to SoquilisGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 8:10:21 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
He refers to this as "Lioness Syndrome". A lioness is very strong and self sufficient. In fact, they care for the whole pride. However, the one that she will submit to is the lion who is the head of the pride.

Wow - never heard the term but it applies perfectly to me. 

quote:

I will say that I think I'm less likely to cave on issues than the purely submissive women that I know. (The "you're not a real submissive" line has never worked on me) I have no issues standing up for myself

Again, I couldn't describe myself better. 

quote:

From a submission standpoint, no, I don't see a difference. My dedication to him is the same as many of the "slubs" I know. I submit my will to him 24/7/365.

And...three for three.....good post.  You summed up my feelings on this as well.  I would "top" another woman if Master desired me to do so (which He has indicated He indeed might at some point) but I don't think I'd ever do it naturally on my own..............slave luci 

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 9:33:45 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I am owned by one man with whom I do not switch.  I can be very sadistic and I love being head dog as well.  Although I will play with women with him, and I can top them or jsut bottom to him or both, I am not really bisexual and have not much interest in topping or domming a woman without him present.  But a guy?  Oh yeah, I could own the right guy in heartbeat.

So yeah, I'd say I'm real different from many subs.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 9:41:10 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

For those of you who identify as submissives (/slave, /you get the picture) and have switch tendencies or inclinations, do you feel that there's a difference between yourselves and those submissives who do not have switch tendencies/inclinations? Conversely, do those of you who identify as submissives and don't have the aforementioned tendencies see a difference between yourselves and those submissives with said tendencies?



I'm gonna muddy the waters for you a little more here, because I'm not a submissive with switch tendencies.  I'm a dominant who happens to be a collared slave.  Were it not for the Kaptin, I'd not be a slave at all, and would reside solely on the Top side of the fence.  So yes, I do see an enormous difference between myself and submissives who do not have switch tendencies.  In fact, aside from a few practical/general responsibilities and duties, I have very little in common with most submissives.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Submissive Switches? - 6/17/2007 9:45:24 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Those of you with switch tendancies who would be an alpha for your Owners (gender nonwithstanding since this applies to male and female alpha types) do your Dom leanings only seem to be toward those of your own gender?

 
I have no desire to top a woman.  I've done it, and it really does nothing for me.  I prefer men, and the bigger, the better.  Nothing makes me purr like a lumberjack on his knees at my feet.
 



_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 36
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