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embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 10:44:45 AM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

Post #: 1

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 12:46:58 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

My submissive is to be submissive to me. She can speak anyway she wants to with others and dose not have to take orders from anyone else.

A slaves behavior is not relfected up on me.

It means to me that he/she probably wants some type of punishment or is trying to get away with something which means they will find out more of my mean side.

Well that depends on what they did and if they wanted a punishment. Sometimes a punishment is not giving them what they want. If they wanted a spanking and did something bad then should they get the spanking? Let's say a submissive wanted to be left alone so they break a rule to purposly get ignored. Should I then ignore them?

Yes I would ask why. Atleast in most cases. After all, it would help in knowing what to do next.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 2

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 12:48:04 PM

Raphael

Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Probably. Unless he deserved it ;)

I guess there is a fine line around the concept of rudeness for me. I don't really condone rudeness, at all. But I do think that sometimes something can be rude in one situation, but not really over the line in another.

quote:

And regardless of his actions, I wouldn't want her to be

I suppose I agree with that. I wouldn't want her to be rude. But his actions could move the line a bit as to what qualifies as rude. I certainly wouldn't want her to be a doormat if another man was behaving inappropriately with her.

quote:

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Absolutely.

quote:

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Certainly a lack of something.

quote:

Would you punish the slave?

You know, if you would post more specifics I could answer this better.

But yes, if she was rude and misbehaving, I would have a duty to correct her behaviour.

quote:

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

Probably.

I almost answered certainly, but on reflection, I suppose I can imagine possible situations where I would not.

So what are we actually talking about here?

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 3

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 2:01:09 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

I think that would depend on the situation. I would be more surprised than embarrassed if my slave were to be rude, just for the sake of being rude. She tends to be very courteous until someone gives her good reasson not to be.

I believe that a slaves behavior is a reflection upon the slave, more than a reflection upon the master.

One can be trained by the greatest, grand-poohbahiest master in the world, but if the slave lacks the self discipline to follow that training, then training is irrelevant.

I would punish the slave if I felt she behaved inappropriately. I would still ask why she felt the need to be rude, but regardless of her answer, if I felt the offense was one to warrant punishment, well then...she would be punished.

Hope that answers your question.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 4

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 2:44:41 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

I think that if a submissive was rude to another dominant individual it would really matter what the circumstances were.

Suppose that the Dom/me in your scenario told the submissive in question that his/her Dom/me was "a know it all stuck up bastard/bitch who couldn't tell the end of a flogger from his/her asshole." I'd be pretty pleased if one of my own stuck it to the person.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 5

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/21/2005 4:45:24 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

If my submissive partner behaved rudely to absolutely anyone, I would be embarrassed, yes.

quote:

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

I think so, yes.

quote:

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

No.

If it was an isolated incident, I believe it was probably irritation brought on by fatigue or frustration. We are all defeated by circumstances at times.

If it was something reoccuring, I would probably question what I am doing in a relationship with someone who could not show other people common courtesy.

quote:

Would you punish the slave?

No. I'm not into punishing my partner. That's not part of the dynamic that I'm into. I prefer D/s relationships that do not involve parenting. I would however have a talk with them.

quote:

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

Replace punish with have a discussion with, then it would be part of the discussion.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 6

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/22/2005 1:53:13 PM

SirCJ

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Yes, a rude slave is very embarrassing, as would anyone without manners.

quote:

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Of course they are Mine and are viewed as part of me.

quote:

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

At this point I would have to wonder if the slave is truely a slave, and I would feel responsible for anyone in my care.

quote:

Would you punish the slave?

I would do what O/our agreement states and make sure it wouldn't happen again.

quote:

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

I would punish per O/our agreement for being rude, for a slave's manners are a must in the lifestyle. I would ask why they didn't seek me out before being rude.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 7

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 4:52:52 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

It would depend on the situation. I always encouraged my slave to behave in whatever manner was appropriate in her dealings with other Doms/Masters. Then, she being a trained kajira, we made a decision to become more Gorean. So now she (and I, to a lesser extent) need to conceal our contempt for jerkoffs, rather than telling them to buzz off. Not that all are worthy of disrespect. It is always good to start off respecting EVERYone, until it has been clearly shown that they are not deserving. Then, as I said, politeness and feigned respect are in order.

So....Yes, it might embarrass me...might not.

Yes, it would show a lack of training, and it would be my fault that I have not helped her to mind her manners and be respectful....and to feign respect, even if she doesn't have it.

Punish? Yes, and promptly...if warranted.

Finally: Yes, I would ask, and may or not punish, depending on her response.

Bobcat (DesertRat)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 5/23/2005 4:55:26 AM >

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 8

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 8:14:12 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, it would show a lack of training, and it would be my fault that I have not helped her to mind her manners and be respectful....and to feign respect, even if she doesn't have it.

Really? I would hope that her parents, her teachers and friends would have helped her figure that out before you came around.

Are most male Doms trying to have their own little Pygmalion thing going on?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 9

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 9:02:17 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Yes, I call it the "white knight dom syndrome."

And plenty of subs are looking to be little Liza's.

The reality is of course that most of them are not the strong self-sufficient functional people we like to talk about. They are broken, they are dysfunctional, they are co-dependent, and they weren't trained properly.

And most doms don't have the slightest clue or desire to REALLY do much more than make a chick wet and kneel on command, and make her feel so delicious because he's "there to watch over her" (until the hot chick enters the room and he runs after her to become the new "sister")

Perhaps I'm being a bit hyperbolistic here, obviously many of us are functioning happy adults. But I think a high majority of the ones who get caught up in the "dom makes sub from ugly duckling into beautiful precious protected swan" tend to be like this.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 10

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 9:28:32 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Yes, I call it the "white knight dom syndrome."

I like the term, "Captain Saveaho".

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 11

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 12:03:30 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Yes, I call it the "white knight dom syndrome."

I like the term, "Captain Saveaho".

~Thorns

Man! I love that! We need to sketch out his unitard!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MrThorns)

Post #: 12

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 4:36:33 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I do not expect my sub to tolerate discourtesy to himself or me, which would be the only way he'd be rude to someone. I'd assume the other person was at fault and deserved the behaviour. In a case of he said, they said, I believe my submissive, since he does not lie to me. He is well aware that to be caught in a lie is to lose me. My response to a dominant who complained my sub was rude to them would be; "What did you do wrong to cause that reaction from my sub?"

I would never punish my submissive at the behest of another Dominant. My sub is submissive only to me and I expect nothing more than basic good manners to others from him. If the other person has a problem with my submissive not kowtowing to them, that is their problem, not mine or my sub's. He is not required to hold the door for anyone, fetch or carry for anyone, let anyone go before him but me, or in any other way acknowledge someone as his superior other than me. I'm very willing for my sub to tell someone who gives him an order to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. My sub is not the world's submissive. He is mine and his service is reserved for me.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 13

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 6:19:03 PM

suberic101

Posts: 84
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline

Really? I was always under the impression that most slaves were functioning folk. They just need a balance. I always find myself way in over my head with responsibility, so that is a contributor to my desire to be of service, to a Lady. If I were a Master/Mistress I wouldn't want a slave that couldn't take care of themselves, if need be. It's a relationship, after all.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 14

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/23/2005 6:53:45 PM

ginger21

Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

I like the term, "Captain Saveaho".

~Thorns

That's great!!! lol!

_____________________________

My Xanga!
What?
"I looked up,
and I was in your arms, and I knew that I was captured..."

(in reply to MrThorns)

Post #: 15

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/29/2005 6:36:08 PM

PhantomOp

Posts: 13
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Embarass? No, but it would displease me that she behaved rudely. I read the post where MadameDahlia stated that she saw grounds for a slave sticking up for their Owner, and I agree, a slave should do so. I feel, however, that a slave can do so without having to resort to rudeness. One of my favorite sayings is "Tact is the ability to tell someone to go fuck themselves in such a manner that the person cheerfully goes out to purchase an extra bottle of AnalEaze".

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Yes and no. On one hand, it reflects on the control I have over my slave. On the other hand, each person is an individual, and I am not so blind as to believe that my slave will always do precisely as I choose without me there, because this is a growing process, and there will always be places where she will make choices that she will have the opportunity to learn.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Not a lack of training, but a lack of that training having been effective. The responsibility I would feel would be to find a more effective form of training to foster the behavior that I find acceptable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

Would you punish the slave?
If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

Punishment takes many forms. If I felt that her actions were a cry for attention and a spanking, then it is likely that I would deal with things by having her sleep on the floor by herself for the night -- something I *know* she dreads. If her actions were because of impulse control issues, I may punish her after exploring the underlying cause of her actions. If her rudeness were based in ignorance of what is acceptable, then punishment would most likely be counter-productive, as simply enlightening her as to what is appropriate would suffice - her own embarassment at having acted inappropriately would be punishment enough.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 16

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/30/2005 4:07:51 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

My girl's behaviour is a relection of me, certainly. However, she's only to be submissive to me so if she were giving another Dom/me a mouthful, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt until I know the details. I'm not rude by nature, but I won't hold back if someone is rude to me - which is the standard I'd permit of my girl in a similar situation.... Considering a small percentage of Dom/mes I've met publicly and their attitude to subs in general, chances are she's probably making me proud of her!

Of course it's not lack of training; in following my standard or example, it's quite the opposite.

Punishment is subject to her committing a "crime".... If she were rude without good reason, she'd be in trouble, yes.

Any punishment includes a full discussion and understanding in why her actions have disappointed me. It's not always black & white, especially if it's involved her actions toward a third person....

Focus50.

(in reply to PhantomOp)

Post #: 17

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/30/2005 11:53:27 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Erm, i hate to be the party pooper, rather enjoy being a party crasher at times, but

LA dont you think your posts on the whole "Captain Saveaho" and the whole folliowing of them, to be abit

intolerant?

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 18

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 5/31/2005 7:14:01 AM

DemonAngel

Posts: 36
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

I trust d not to behave rudely, so its not come up.What others think is not a hassle anyway.Behaviour is a reflection on me because shes a part of me but again, i know her not to do anything i wouldn't.Is it a reflection on me and my training?Doesn't matter.If d is happy and so am i thats all that matters.i don't punish because punishment is a plus not a minus.i know she loves me to be disappointed in herself if she did do anything wrong anyway and thats the worst punishment she could get.i dont like it when she is unhappy though, so she is always changing and learning so she isn't unhappy which is the way i prefere.If someone had to punish, then there had better be a good reason to it so yes i would ask because you have to communicate to get anything sorted.

Demon

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 19

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/3/2005 4:19:53 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Are most male Doms trying to have their own little Pygmalion thing going on?

Sexism? From you? Say it ain't so! *grin*

I had to teach my slave manners again. Her parents somehow sorely overlooked the part where it's respectful to kneel when your master, or any other man he considers his peer, enters the room, or the part where one waits quietly at her master's side to be fed, rather than just plopping down at the table next to him. Just a couple of examples out of many, but I think you get the idea. What is considered proper respect and decorum for a slave in my home probably would be a little out of place for a child in my slave's father's home, and visa-versa.

Even if I didn't require a somewhat higher degree of protocol of my slave than is typical in the mainstream, I don't think that anyone could argue that today's popular culture is known for its high regard for civility. I think that anyone, male or female, who takes a slave out of that culture and expects them to behave with grace likely as not has their work cut out for them. My standards may be (and probably are) a bit different than yours, and certainly way different from what passes for gracious behavior in the pop culture. Do I require my standard to be followed? Yes, I do, and I take pleasure in seeing my slave make progress toward meeting that standard. If you'd like to think it's because I have a penis, that's fine by me.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 20

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