RE: embarrasing your Dominant?

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RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/3/2005 6:05:19 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas
Yes, I do, and I take pleasure in seeing my slave make progress toward meeting that standard. If you'd like to think it's because I have a penis, that's fine by me.

Sigh have to agree, on the lack of manners part, as much as I hate to admit it. Many people cut themselves out of contention for me because they aren't aware of those subtleties and proprieties.

I'm no Emily Post, but etiquette is a subject of fascination for me and I enjoy employing it where I can (odd for a person who expounds about being blatantly kinky in public forums I know, but I think that shows how serious I take the issue). When I took the boyfriend, who is 21, to a semi-formal dinner and dance, he felt very awkward being the only one with a boutinere. He also was the only one to rise at the table when a lady entered or left and got my chair for me every time (the other men were too busy gulping down their free beers). I told him I couldn't help it if other people didn't know how to treat their dates well.

Are a lot of rules of etiquette sexist? Yes, and I don't mind as long as everyone is AWARE that they are sexist and no indication of a woman's or man's "place" anywhere outside of the world of etiquette. The boyfriend was brought up right and simply needed some finishing touches and exposure. For full-grown adults who don't know the basics of table settings, and think the only use for a cup is to get the slave to refill it automatically, I don't waste my time.

This isn't a whiny rant, I'm not annoyed or anything with the world, though it can appall me at times. Manners CAN be learned and enjoyed if people want.

(in reply to Leonidas)

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Post #: 21

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/12/2005 1:18:24 PM

pygmalionsub

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

Oye, considering my name is pygmalion , i had to of course respond to the thread drift.

Most people associate pygmalion with my fair lady...which is a fair. However Pygmalion originally came from roman mythology of a man who carved his perfect women from stone.

For me, I know i am not perfect, I was raised in a working class family, and while i'm polite and was taught my please and thank you's, I couldn't tell you a salad fork from a dinner fork. Proper ettiquete is something i find interesting and beautiful in its own way. I would love to learn it, however i dont HAVE to have a Dom for that. But the idea of having a man to mold me and make me a better person is appealing.

I was basically a tomboy growing up, i grew up in a very rough neighborhood, and as a result, i'm not very femine, but i want to be, so i seek that out.

I believe its an awesome form of submission to allow yourself to be molded in every aspect of your life, and not just have kinky sex.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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Post #: 22

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/12/2005 1:21:41 PM

pygmalionsub

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

also, just my experience, but i recieve way more emails from Doms who seek kinky sex, then Doms who understand the constant work and effort it takes, to truely mold a sub from the bottom up.

(in reply to pygmalionsub)

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Post #: 23

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/25/2005 5:34:27 PM

leomaster2

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline

My first response is that if I saw my sub being rude to a person (anybody, anywhere) they probably deserved it. And if it were me involved, I would be far more likely to be rude (intentionally or unintenionally) than her. She is unfailingly polite and kind. Which is not my approach. I treat others politely and respectfully until they show they don't deserve it. Then I either ignore them, or if that's not possible, I let them know I find their behavior offensive in the most appropriate way possible.

My second thought is this. This other Master is not her Master. Which means, as long as she is being polite by the common standards of our society, I'll back her all the way. If he takes offense because she is not meeting his standards of how a polite submissive behaves, so what? He has no right to expect more. Has no right to "expect" anything more than he gives. If he is polite to her, she'll be polite to him. If he tries to treat her like his slave, or like dirt, I want her to either ignore him, or treat him like a slob. Better yet, complain to me and let me have the fun of deflating the ego.

(in reply to pygmalionsub)

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Post #: 24

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/25/2005 5:37:26 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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I can't help this............

I gotta think........{not the best start to your brightest day}

LOL

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Leonidas)

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Post #: 25

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/26/2005 3:30:51 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

As regards to everyone commenting on the "white knight" syndrome and Doms that want to rescue and protect their subs, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with that. It's kinda what I'm doing with my pet anyway.

However, there is a difference between helping a person to get better self-esteem and make it so they are more functional in the real world, as well as in the relationship, and molding a person to be dependent on you for everything that s/he experiences. The first is what I like to think I'm good at, though it takes time, and the second is probably what LA was referring to as "Pygmalion-like."

Replying to the OP, I wouldn't be mad at koi if she tells off someone for saying or doing offensive things after a request to stop. In fact, I encourage it.

But, if she were deliberately rude to anyone without good reason, I'd be disappointed and her knowing that is about as bad as any other form of punishment.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 26

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/26/2005 6:14:06 AM

ChangingWolf

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If your slave behaved rudely to another Master would that embarrass you?

Do you feel the slaves behavior is a reflection upon you?

Would you feel it shows a lack of training so feel responsible?

Would you punish the slave?

If you would punish them would you ask the slave why they were rude before punishing them?

Funnything, I know Wolfspet well enough that if she is rude to someone, my first reaction is "Well, ya shouldn't have pissed her off".

Keep in mind that not all slaves are submissive, some are quite Dominant in their own right, they have chosen to submit to someone they "feel it " with.

I have punished her on the one or two occasions that she did let her mouth run wrongly.

(in reply to kisshou)

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Post #: 27

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/29/2005 9:01:51 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

I would never punish my submissive at the behest of another Dominant. My sub is submissive only to me and I expect nothing more than basic good manners to others from him. If the other person has a problem with my submissive not kowtowing to them, that is their problem, not mine or my sub's. He is not required to hold the door for anyone, fetch or carry for anyone, let anyone go before him but me, or in any other way acknowledge someone as his superior other than me. I'm very willing for my sub to tell someone who gives him an order to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. My sub is not the world's submissive. He is mine and his service is reserved for me.

I agree with you

(in reply to BeachMystress)

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Post #: 28

RE: embarrasing your Dominant? - 6/29/2005 9:34:27 AM

sudja

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

Yes, it would show a lack of training, and it would be my fault that I have not helped her to mind her manners and be respectful....and to feign respect, even if she doesn't have it.

Why on earth should she "feign respect" if the person is not worthy of same? Doesn't that diminish the value of her respect when she does truly have it?

Beyond that - everybody is entitled to courtesy, but just because somebody is, or proclaims themselves to be, Dominant, doesn't mean they are entitled to anything extra or special from me.

They are not *my* Dominant, I am not their submissive. As between the two of us we are "just people."

Anybody who expects more than that from me is proving they are entitled to less respect, if any, from me, not more.

sudja

(in reply to DesertRat)

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Post #: 29