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Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 4:56:25 AM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

I was just curious, do Dom’s/Masters really have an idea of what the differences are between subs or slaves or their idea of what is different?

I see many profiles on collarme.com saying things along the lines of – looking for sub/slave for (what ever reason), there is a very high percentage of profiles that say this among the ones searching.

Are they confused as to what their view of either sub or slave is or are they not fussy?

Not picking on anyone I was just curious.

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

Post #: 1

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 4:59:34 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

same thing could be said of the profiles that say seeking a Dom/Master are they confused or simply not picky?

there are no universally recognized definitions of such (sub/slave/dom/master) & everyone has to come up with their own working knowledge of such.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/1/2007 5:01:02 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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Post #: 2

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 5:07:15 AM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

I would not know i dont look at subs/slaves profiles so i dont know what they ask for or if i have another reason to look i dont ususaly go there to see who they are asking for.

but at no time in my profile have i asked for a Dom and Master, i have said i need a Dominant in my life if its to be someone i am considering on a perminant bases, and i have said i do lean towards the Daddy Dom (another type of Dom) but never have i had in there asking for a Master also.

I am only going on what i would put in my profile in not asking if i was looking for more than what i was looking for i asked simply because i was curious, so subs do this to? mmm do they put them in one category also?

< Message edited by ennaozzie -- 6/1/2007 5:09:21 AM >

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 3

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 5:27:52 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

but do you understand that how you define/describe dominant or even daddy dom may be exactly the way someone who calls himself master might describe himself & to continue this thought... let's say you have an idea of what master means to you & you don't want to have this type in your life so you refuse to talk to anyone who calls himself a master... you might just be cutting people out who may in fact be a perfect match all because you are attempting to apply your own definition to their role without knowing how they describe themselves.

there is no clear cut definition for any of these terms other than how the user defines it for themselves & you have to be able to effectively communicate these understandings with others & never assume that what you think is the way others think on these specific terms

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/1/2007 5:33:31 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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Post #: 4

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 5:46:57 AM

jaunty1

Posts: 102
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I was just curious, do Dom’s/Masters really have an idea of what the differences are between subs or slaves or their idea of what is different?

There are many who do not distinguish between submissive and slave; and then there are those who do. Just as there are many who do not distinguish between Dominant and Master; and then there are those who do.

On a more personal note; I see all 4 as being different. Dominant and submissive as being personality traits, and Master/slave as labels that are given to some.

It all depends on how YOU and YOUR partner decide to define things.

Live well

Alex

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(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 5

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 5:59:52 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

I wholeheartedly agree & that was the point I was attempting to make... each of these terms mean something to me as well & I'll bet that my 4 definitions will most likely not match your four & so on & so on for every other person who comes on here & offers their own take on what these four terms mean to them.

The point is to define them for yourself & never assume that how you define any one or all of them is how someone else will define them.

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to jaunty1)

Post #: 6

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 6:00:24 AM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks guys/girls was just looking for others opinions that is great, now i understand more why.

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to jaunty1)

Post #: 7

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 6:21:54 AM

masterLon3446

Posts: 48
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

  I was just curious, do Dom’s/Masters really have an idea of what the differences are between subs or slaves or their idea of what is different?

There are as many different answers to that as there are people in this lifestyle. Each have thier own deffinition. My own opinion.... sub, temporarily gives up control in private, behind closed doors or just bedroom, sex only, vanilla other wise, Thus Erotic Power Exchange, The Dom accepts control for sex only... Master/Mistress = wants, needs and craves control and responsibility 24/7/365, slaves wants to give up control and responsibility for the same amount of time as the Master/Mistress desires it, Thus Total Power Exchange.   Even though Masters/Mistresses do make all the decisions when with the slave, slave can also make decisions and take on responsibility at the discretion of the Master/Mistress. No one really cares for a slave nor sub that is weak and stupid. To be in a relationship, At times, We all need to be strong sub,slave and dominant alike. Many have criticized me for my beliefs and that is expected, New age lifestylers believe in so many different things, Not saying it is right nor wrong,  Just different....Today there are dominant calling themselves, Masters and Mistresses, That actually want a submissive, This gets more confusing as we get deeper into this. In my day, the only time a person was offered the title Master or Mistress was when they actually owned   one or more slaves and
longer than 5 years, Today it is quite different even a 12 year old can take on the title, but anyway, Take from my post what you will and leave the rest. GoodLuck on your journey....

                                                                                                 MasterLon

(in reply to jaunty1)

Post #: 8

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 6:32:27 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I think that they are just covering all the bases really, because so many people have their own definition of what each label means. I guess that they want to make sure that they do not miss anyone.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 9

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 6:36:34 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

I am looking for a slave or a (boy) sub, I am well aware of the difference. I would perfer a slave, but am more concerned about compatability then mindset. By leaving this open, I am opening myself up to more people and have hopefully a better chance of finding someone compatable.

Mike

(in reply to masterLon3446)

Post #: 10

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 7:54:24 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Some have definite ideas of what they want and go for that. Some just have a general idea and see where it goes. Some just want someone and enjoy calling it "slave" to sound cooler.

Same goes for slaves also.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 11

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 8:07:32 AM

ONEDEMANDINGMSTR

Posts: 47
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

There are so many differing opinions as to what a sub isnd what a slave is. There are no hard and fast 'rules'. I think it's what the two people decide that it is. I have never wanted a 'slave because of the connotation that she is a piece of property with no mind/thoughts/desires aside from what her Master feeds to her.

I could never survive without a living, breathing, thinking sub......! It might eventually become a M/s relationship.....but I would never deny a sub, nor a slave the right to express her opinions/thoughts/desires/fantasies/needs as she felt them.

So we are stuck with definitions that don't fit the mold............go figger!!!!! smile

1DEMANDING

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 12

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 8:07:54 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

There's a difference for me. What that difference is isn't really relavant to anything or anyone other than those in my life.

Master Fire

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(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 13

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 8:12:54 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

When I was 'looking' (or pretending to look, or simply passing time), in my profile I believe I said that I might be looking for a person who identifies as 'submissive' or 'slave' (as if submissive were a noun, of course).

I suppose in my case I certainly understand what the difference between those mean to me, but I did not have a preference for 'specifically' one or another. Having said that, the fact that I have had 'slave' partners in the past usually meant that I was perceived as wanting a slave no matter what my profile might say.

To me, I was more interested in finding a 'person' who could be one or another, or one that would just allow the journey to take them to whereever they might end up. I was looking for something 'more' than orientation, 'more' than having particular interests.

In the end, when I was found (rather than vice versa), I met someone who had interests that could expose me to things that I had not imagined, yet find work well with me. She identifies as submissive, doesn't yet really know what 'slave' quite means (and I haven't really found it compelling to try to make it clearer), but wants to see where our road will go. And knows that the one thing she is certain is that it will be me to lead her there.

Doesn't get much better than that.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 14

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 8:38:03 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ennaozzie

I was just curious, do Dom’s/Masters really have an idea of what the differences are between subs or slaves or their idea of what is different?

I see many profiles on collarme.com saying things along the lines of – looking for sub/slave for (what ever reason), there is a very high percentage of profiles that say this among the ones searching.

Are they confused as to what their view of either sub or slave is or are they not fussy?

Not picking on anyone I was just curious.

beanie

Many times the only difference between a sub and a slave is what their owner chooses to call them.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 15

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 9:32:09 AM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

I am a sub, who calls her partner Master. It's a D/s relationship rather than a M/s relationship. So why "Master"? Well, I asked what he preferred to be called and that was his answer. I've also never called anyone Master before and prefer not to repeat 'names' if I can (so far so good!). Since then he's also done a mightily good job of earning it. So it just fits.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 16

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 2:52:47 PM

jiro

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/14/2006
Status: offline

my girl is in a "state of confusion" over what she is. she calls herself (wants to be) a slave. she seeks direction, does tasks, asks permission of me....etc.
BUT she will also say no to some of my requests, she will make social decisions without asking....etc. i have explained to her (my thoughts) that a slave
will do as told (within limits) - PERIOD! a submissive will do as told or asked, but at times will take initiative with no intent to dishonor her master by
such actions. what thoughts do you have that will help me clarify her title/role for her?

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 17

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 2:59:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jiro
what thoughts do you have that will help me clarify her title/role for her?

Fraid not, you guys have to decide what works for you both.

I'd say focus more on being compatible and happy together, no what you call it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to jiro)

Post #: 18

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 3:22:55 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jiro

my girl is in a "state of confusion" over what she is. she calls herself (wants to be) a slave. she seeks direction, does tasks, asks permission of me....etc.
BUT she will also say no to some of my requests, she will make social decisions without asking....etc. i have explained to her (my thoughts) that a slave
will do as told (within limits) - PERIOD! a submissive will do as told or asked, but at times will take initiative with no intent to dishonor her master by
such actions. what thoughts do you have that will help me clarify her title/role for her?

There are slaves who are very independent. There are submissives who wouldn't dream of saying no to anything. The only thing that matters is finding a dynamic that works for you two and calling it whatever feels best to you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jiro)

Post #: 19

RE: Question for Dom's/Masters on sub/slaves - 6/1/2007 7:32:50 PM

ennaozzie

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for all your replies, going by some of the comments, obviously we all have different views of what subbies and slaves are, i consider myself a subbie but going by one post i am slave if i go by their definition, and yet my definition of a slave is so not me.

I can see what you mean if someone calls themselves a subbie and you want a slave she maybe what you look for and your idea of a slave i never thought of that before.

Thanks for everyones comments, it has more than answered my questions.

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 20

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