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RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 5:05:57 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Do you think we learn more from failure than from success? Are there failures in your life that in retrospect you learned from to the extent that it negated your sense of failure? Anyone feel like sharing a personal story?

Maybe its a matter of semantics, but while I do use the word "failure" I try not to put that spin of energy on things like relationships or career choices that have "failed" to continue on for whatever reason..

If I learned something then it was a sucessful venture, not a failure. Its just the view that works for me.
I'm Tony-Robbins-influenced to some degree. I started looking at things in a completely different and more positive light after reading some of his books during a very desparate time in my life when I was looking for 'reasons' for something extremely painful I had gone through. I suppose the most important lessons are the ones that we learn in the hardest possible ways.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/1/2007 5:07:16 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 6:45:11 PM

Lordandmaster

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“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.”
--Edward J. Phelps

Here's a sort of "words of wisdom" page about mistakes:

http://www.wow4u.com/mistakes/index.html

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Post #: 22

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 6:50:59 PM

losttreasure

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.”
--Edward J. Phelps

Here's a sort of "words of wisdom" page about mistakes:

http://www.wow4u.com/mistakes/index.html

There is, however, a distinct difference between a "mistake" and a "failure". One does not necessarily lead to the other... in fact, there are mistakes that have led to great success.

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 6/1/2007 6:53:09 PM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 6:52:03 PM

KeirasSecret

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quote:

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.”
--Edward J. Phelps

Here's a sort of "words of wisdom" page about mistakes:

Does making mistakes constitute failure? I thought one only has only failed when they have given up.

k

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 6/1/2007 6:54:10 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 6:53:11 PM

Lordandmaster

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Umm...yeah, that's sort of the point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

There is, however, a distinct difference between a "mistake" and a "failure".

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Post #: 25

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 7:22:06 PM

Vendaval

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I would define a "mistake" as putting a bit too much or a bit too little of something in a recipe.
A "failure" is when the oil in the pan starts a fire and you have to evacuate and wait for the Fire Dept to douse the flames.

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Post #: 26

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 7:25:51 PM

lighthearted

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call them failures, missed opportunities, whatever...each one in my life has been part of who I am today, a person I like, respect and am proud of.

now, if you want specifics, I don't think I could supply any. I tend to move on rather quickly - that whole attention span of a fruit fly thing.

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Post #: 27

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 7:55:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Interesting, I've failed at tons of things. To me failing is a very different thing than making a mistake. Now, you can make a mistake AND have it be a failure at the same time, but to me a mistake is more a wrong choice while a failure is complete lack of doing what you wanted to do.

You can also succeed at something even if you fail at something else.

I've failed TONS of times, and I've made TONS of mistakes.

The good news is that they don't seem to have really damaged too many people too badly, that they were all mine, and that I'm still pretty happy with myself and how things are right now.

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Post #: 28

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 9:14:25 PM

MzMia

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Wonderful post julia, I have learned from BOTH.
I think NOW that I am older and appreciate many of the little things
in life, I actually learn more from success.
I appreciate whatever good things come into my life with unspeakable joy.
What many take for granted {like family and health and nature and just being alive},
I celebrate as much as I can.
I will say, that I love that expression that the hallmark of insanity is when you know
something does not work for you, yet you keep repeating the same sort of thing over
and over again, and actually expect a different result.
I hate to say it, but when I look at many people they don't seem to learn much from
either one.

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Post #: 29

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 9:17:12 PM

cjenny

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My dom agreed that I learn best from success & praise. I have issues with failing lol, that implies competition to me and I really hate competing for fear of losing. Losing is failure for me.
Yet if I;m getting positive feedback and encouragment I usually succeed more than I expect.

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Post #: 30

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 9:40:54 PM

MzMia

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Great post jenny, I too learn from both.
But I actually learn more from success.
I really think this has to do with gratitude.
We all know about the people that win or fall into money, great careers,
marriages, etc. and throw it all away.
I feel that usually those that don't learn or appreciate success, suffer from
serious self-esteem issues and often have serious issues.
I sure the hell don't need to be kicked in the ass, homeless, or beat up to learn
things.
Often the best way to build someone's self-esteem UP, is to praise them and set
them up for success.
This is a common technique used with children. Even small successes can build
up a persons self confidence so they can have more success.
Many people in prison, have little to no self esteem and had few if any successes in life.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/1/2007 9:46:23 PM >

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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Post #: 31

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/1/2007 10:20:47 PM

TheHeretic

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      Thought provoking thread, Julia.

      I don't deal with failure very well. There is a semantics aspect at work. Trying something that doesn't work isn't going to bother me a bit. I just try another approach. I have even walked away from situations I couldn't make work and called it a mistake for trying.

      Total failure though.... Giving something my best and not making it happen... No. The lessons might mitigate a bit, but it remains a negative experience.



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That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.

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Post #: 32

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 12:54:26 AM

stella40

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Experiencing failure? Yes, of course.

You have Roadrunner, and the Coyote on the Looney Tunes cartoon. Well I'm often convinced that the Coyote is my own twin brother.

I have failed at lots of things, some spectacularly, and learned.

One such particular area is my own passion and hobby of cooking and baking.

A friend still has a dent in his kitchen ceiling from 1984 when staying at his flat I decided to heat a can of beans in a pan of boiling water. Then the phone rang. The phone call was interrupted by a very loud bang and the familiar 'crash' sound of breaking glass. Guess who forgot to open the can of beans? The can somehow exploded, hit the ceiling, bounced off a cupboard and went right through the kitchen window.

I've also learned the hard way that throwing several bags of popping corn into an open chip pan is not the best way to prepare popcorn. On a few occasions I've baked loaves of bread which would not come out of the tin. I have even managed to bake some cookies which remained permanently on the baking tray - despite efforts with spatulas, various knives, a hammer and chisel, a power drill and WD40.

However contrary to what it might appear I am a very good cook, self-taught, and some people are impressed when I tell them I learned to cook the T & E way (trial and error), I experiment, cooking for me is relaxing, an art form and over the years I have built up a repertoire of about twenty five different curries - Indian, Thai, Chinese, Korean, I have six different ways to do a spaghetti bolognaise including my secret recipe which includes Hungarian red wine, wild mushrooms and lean beef mince, I can do a lethal kimchee, quite a number of Chinese and Korean dishes, about 30 different salads. But this isn't without mistakes. I still cringe when friends remind me of the time I served them a stir fry to which I somehow added washing up liquid.

I'm persevering with home baking, but there's no middle ground, I can be either brilliant or a total disaster. People love my oatmeal cookies, oatcakes, I can do traditional Scottish shortbread and a very solid Christmas cake. But I've also baked home made brownies without any oil.

Some things are still beyond me - pancakes, and cooking rice. I tend to burn it, well 3 times out of every four. Pasta? Yes, al dente every time, potatoes yes, but rice? Perseverance. It once made me unpopular when I worked at a Polish university and lived in an apartment in a large student dorm. I kept trying but sometimes the fire alarms would go off and the building would be evacuated. The student dorm had ten floors and I guess about several hundred students and university staff lived there. I had to give up cooking rice when the local fire brigade wrote to the manager of the student dorm asking him to ask me to stop cooking rice.

But I keep trying and persevering.. because I want to learn Japanese cooking.

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Post #: 33

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 3:02:28 AM

Quivver

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There is a line in a song I just heard this past week ....
" Failure isnt failure is a lesson from it's learned "

Years ago, failure wasnt a word I was familiar with.
It snuck up on me and slapped me square in the forehead one day.

Looking back I now realize when I didnt know the word failure it wasnt
because I never failed, but saw each experiance as a learning tool.
But the times I felt failure I had not sorted out the lesson.

Just food for thought...............

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Post #: 34

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 7:03:05 AM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella40
But I've also baked home made brownies without any oil.

Ahh, cooking... i don't recommend brownies made with used deep-fry oil, either, nor cakes made without eggs.

i tend to think that i learn a lot from failures and mistakes in my hobbies... the results of such are often quite spectacular and/or expensive (note to self: buy replacement fire extinguisher), and kinda stick with you.

...dave

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Post #: 35

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 7:40:04 AM

lighthearted

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

To me failing is a very different thing than making a mistake.

hehe...well, ya know, after a coupla glasses of wine, they are

but, I do agree with your statement. to me, the word "mistake" means that perhaps if I'd done something differently, or learned more, I would have made a different decision. failures sometimes occur independent of the scope of our control.

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Post #: 36

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 7:47:11 AM

tzndeny

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Mistakes and failures are opportunities for growth and self-assessment. Sometimes mistakes must occur repeatedly before there can be change.

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Post #: 37

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 9:05:07 AM

ownedgirlie

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I have learned immeasurable things about myself from my failed marriage. And I think I would not have learned these lessons to the same degree otherwise, unfortunately. I have learned about love, and giving and receiving and family and dear friends and strangers who come out of the woodwork with compassion, and how to ask for help and how to let go and how to value myself and how to live in the present and look to the future instead of remaining anchored to the past by anger and pain. I have learned that you can't own or fix someone else's problems for them, and that no one else can fix my problems, either (but they can help!). I have learned that I can still have children in my life and have a positive influence on them, even if they are not my own (nothing like crawling into my 3 year old nephew's bed early in the morning and seeing his face light up when he wakes up to find you there).

I have learned that life is indeed wonderful.

So, I ask, was it really a failure? I think failure is really dependent upon how you handle failure.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 38

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 11:57:23 AM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

There is, however, a distinct difference between a "mistake" and a "failure". One does not necessarily lead to the other... in fact, there are mistakes that have led to great success.

My favorite are those little Post-It Notes (Stick-ums). It was a glue that failed.

The person who invented them is a bazillionaire.

Sinergy

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Post #: 39

RE: Learning From Failure - 6/2/2007 12:02:05 PM

pahunkboy

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it must go something like this. motorist failed to come to a complete stop. defendent failed to post bail. inmate failed to obey an order. the computerized log failed to post.

lets take the stop sign. do you REALLY come to a complete stop? every time? even when your late?

failure is one of those icky words that makes a person hard on themself,.

a rock doesnt fail.

smile. [did you ACTUALLY use your turn signal every time during teh month of May ?]

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 40

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