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waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 1:23:16 PM   
disciplinedslave


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/24/2007
Status: offline 		hello everyone,

i have an interesting question to throw out there.
does your Master/Mistress/Dom/DommeTop, wait a couple of days or even a week before punishing you for an infraction. if so how does it make you feel. do you constantly think about it and wonder when it is going to come, do you forget until He/She finally punishes you, do you think about what you have done wrong the entire waiting period.....?

I am curious to hear others point of view on this subject.
thank you in advance for all your responses.

_____________________________

disciplinedslave
owned and collared by Mr. Discipline44

It's not about the man being strong enough to dominate, it's about the woman being strong enough to submit.
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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 1:26:47 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Master waits until he is no longer angry and then takes his time deciding the appropriate punishment. Which in some cases has been days.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 1:27:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: disciplinedslave

hello everyone,

i have an interesting question to throw out there.
does your Master/Mistress/Dom/DommeTop, wait a couple of days or even a week before punishing you for an infraction. if so how does it make you feel. do you constantly think about it and wonder when it is going to come, do you forget until He/She finally punishes you, do you think about what you have done wrong the entire waiting period.....?

I am curious to hear others point of view on this subject.
thank you in advance for all your responses.

I may take some time, but during that time, we're talking together, I'm thinking it through, I'm getting to the actual source of the need for punishment and reworking my training to suit where we need to go, seeing where they are.

I don't really want him focusing on what's going to come- I want him focusing on why he has it coming and how he will change his behavior in the future.

As well, it's always best for the punishment to be as closely related in time and activity to the actual behavior you want to correct as possible.  While punishment is a serious thing and should be rare and not taken lightly, any more than two days seems more harmful than good for the ultimate result.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 1:42:44 PM   
Domspaintoy


Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		Its depended, He has never punished me in anger, He has waited, but on the rare occasion and i can only think of twice when He has punished me as immediately as He possibly could and it shocked me because i wasnt expecting it at that precise time, i just got told i would recieve my punishment there and then and once was in the public arena which made it worse because He had to stop when someone came into view and that drew it out terribly. i was very lucky i did get a hug afterwards and ill not be making the same mistake twice, and i have to say i dont know if it was the fact He had had to punish me or the fact He was not pleased with me that upset me the most. His displeasure in me is horrid and i try not to cause that at all but invariably i do because im human im His slut and he knows im not anywhere near perfect yet. (loooooooooooooooong way to go before that happens lol if ever)

Usually though if i get punished its for minor infringements (dress, swearing etc) so He will make me wait for them almost to the point i have completely forgotton, which has me thinking He has forgotton lol BIG mistake He never forgets.



Dpt.

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 1:44:14 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Punishment is an extremely rare thing in our relationship for several reasons.  First of all, I usually just don't disobey or do anything to merit it.  Secondly, Master prefers discipline over punishment.  He would rather teach me how not to disobey than wait for me to do so so He can punish me.  Thirdly, Master doesn't need an excuse to do any of the physical things that many consider to be "punishment."  He can do anything He desires at any time as far as that goes so He doesn't have to fabricate or search out some seeming violation in order to "justify" punishment.  As a matter of fact, the only punishments I have ever received have not been physical or sexualized in the least.  They tend to be added rules/restrictions, writing assignments, loss of certain privileges, etc. 
 
With that said.......the most recent punishment I received did not come immediately following my violation.  Master let me know immediately of His displeasure but told me He was going to think about what course of action to take.  After several days, He gave me a detailed list of what would be expected of me (above and beyond the usual expectations) over the subsequent two weeks.  During the time I was waiting on His decision of what the punishment would be, I was a bit apprehensive.  I knew it wouldn't involve physical pain, so that wasn't an issue, but I was a bit anxious as to what it would involve.  Mostly, I just felt like a knucklehead for having broken one of the very few rules He had in place for me.  So, I didn't constantly think about it or forget it totally.  But, when it came to mind, I mostly felt regretful for having done something disappointing in His eyes........slave luci

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 2:06:28 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		My relationship with my D is still rather new... we are getting to know each other, in every day life as well as in D/s.  Safe to say, nothing I have done yet has required punishment.  So far, I can't think of much anything that would make him do so... at least, nothing I would ever do...

One thing I would never want to do would be displease him though... that much in itself would tear me apart... all he would really have to do would be to give me an annoyed glance and I would probably fall to pieces, lol...

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 2:31:12 PM   
Arastella


Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		Oh god, yes I've experienced it before.  And I usually can't get it out of my head period.  And it hurts because I'm filled with guilt the whole time.

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 2:46:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arastella
Oh god, yes I've experienced it before.  And I usually can't get it out of my head period.  And it hurts because I'm filled with guilt the whole time.

In relation to the thread you started yesterday, you might want to discuss this with your mistress.  This time you fill yourself with guilt and pain, you're completely obsessing about YOU- your fault, your guilt, your sense of badness.  Instead of focusing on what you can do to provide better service for HER, the long term changes you can make for the relationship, perhaps you two can work out a system of quicker punishment or ritualized punishment to work yourself out of the funk earlier and move beyond yourself.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 3:26:06 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arastella

Oh god, yes I've experienced it before.  And I usually can't get it out of my head period.  And it hurts because I'm filled with guilt the whole time.



The best 'punishments' are like this.  Oftentimes you don't need to really 'do' anything to a sub/slave, because what they are doing to themselves is quite fine, thanks.

I do believe in 'some' sort of reinforcement, if for no other reason than to ensure that my partner knows that I caught the 'offense' as well and that it is serious enough to bear some sort of correction.

I don't really get angry (check that, it's possible, but it would have to be so extreme that 'punishment' would be a privilege compared to what my first reaction might be), so punishing in anger probably couldn't happen.  Lacking that, the correction needs to be done at the first available opportunity, in my opinion.

It's like a dog.  Sometimes they make mistakes, and you swat them for doing something wrong.  But if you do it two days later, they have no idea 'why' it's happening, and it borders on abuse.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/1/2007 6:41:24 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I have to say that while with a dog you need to punish soon as it would not understand days later, a submissive can and does understand ,whenever the punishment takes place..Personally for me I would not focus on what was to come, nor would I have it occupy much of my attention.I am sure with any Dominant ,when or if he deems it is time for punishment then there it is..I am simply not into the self flagellation thing..After a transgression is done, I would simply and sincerely apologise and be done with it in my own mind....Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 8:24:06 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I've learned with My Pet how punishment and discipline work... I must admit, I have been harsh on the poor girl, perhaps out of line in the past... but in the end I hope those times tempered the steel. 

I find the most devastating punishment is psychological.  The most harsh punishments (that are not clearly out of line) are removing a submissive's ability to serve (temporarily) and not allowing closure.  I know My Pet would much rather catch a spanking and be told she is forgiven pending she learns from this mistake, than to have me say "You've broken one of my rules" and leave it alone.  It would burn inside her forever, until I gave her closure.  She would seek it, I would go as far as to say she would beg and plead for me to punish her just so she can have the knowledge that everything is balanced and I am truely no longer angry.  I've learned the hard way the weight of these punishments, but I don't regret it.

To get back on track, I have yet to punish My Pet for anything more than breaking a minor rule.  Although I have been very harsh and overly cruel in those punishments.  I usually punish her straight away, but would hold off if I needed to think it through.  It's important to take into account how that time in limbo is being spent.  If I tell My Pet "I need time to think about a proper punishment, you are not out of this yet, but we are putting it aside" then those few days can pass fairly normally.  If I tell her of her failure and simply say "Hmph.." And then take a few days to mull over it, she will slowly grow insane.

Punishment... Discipline... Mistakes... Failure... There are so many ways that these get tossed out of balance.  I praise the fact that I've nearly mastered the relationships.

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 8:51:24 AM   
glynn012954


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/6/2004
Status: offline 		Unless I've done something seriously wrong which requires immediate attention my Wife/Mistress keeps a little spiral notebook and pen in her cigarette case and jots down the offense. Then on every Thursday night She will secure me across our spanking table, pull out her list from the previous week, review it with me and then administer thhe apporiate punishments. Afterwords she rips the pages out of the book and discards them wiping the slate clean. She leaves me secured to the table to think about what I will do to never repeat these offensives again. After an hour or so She will release me and life goes back to noemal

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 9:31:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Wow if I had to spend time EVERY week doling out a punishment, I'd be seriously rethinking my situation.  I don't want someone who performs so poorly so regularly and requires so much of my time in reaction.

I'd also feel pretty crappy if I had to be punished weekly.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 10:31:34 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Wow if I had to spend time EVERY week doling out a punishment, I'd be seriously rethinking my situation.  I don't want someone who performs so poorly so regularly and requires so much of my time in reaction.

I'd also feel pretty crappy if I had to be punished weekly.


I tend to agree. Although, what it sounds like is a list of small stuff, and then they play it out. Punishment for me is something I fear and dread. It means that I've done something more than just not have his coffee ready at exactly 5:30 in the morning.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 3:12:08 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I thrive on the actual correction dealt me when it's needed; the time waiting is the self-examination, how-can-I-do-better-time, and if there's too long a delay I start to worry something's really wrong.

-Einzelgänger

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 3:40:41 PM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		Unfortunately for some of your dominants waiting to administer punishment for hours and even days is a lot of times counter productive. Psychology studies show that for punishments to be most effective they need to meet three criteria.
1. Must be age-appropriate
2. Must be directly proportional to the mistake made
3. Must be IMMEDIATE...

Waiting to punish someone causes them to forget what they were even punished for and at times, they have often already repeated the mistake. I have heard that it takes 21 days to create or retrain a habit and that for every day you miss it adds at least that many days to the end of the habit making.

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Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 7:22:37 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Einzelganger

I thrive on the actual correction dealt me when it's needed; the time waiting is the self-examination, how-can-I-do-better-time, and if there's too long a delay I start to worry something's really wrong.

-Einzelgänger


In re-reading what I'd posted earlier, I thought someone might misinterpret the first part of my post.  I do not thrive on the punishment in the sense that I will be a manipulative brat just so she'll punish me or for attention.  When I say that I thrive on it, I mean that being punished means we're working out our problems...just in a different way than the ordinary relationship. *smiles*  It also means to me that she loves me and cares; if she didn't care, she wouldn't punish me for things I'd intentionally done, or had failed to do out of sheer laziness.  Just my $0.02...

-Einzelgänger

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 8:36:26 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Mine will usually tell me when i call him on my lunch break from work, than he'll say that he will be over in a couple/few days. Yea that can get me real antsy, and wondering what his impliment that he'll use. And yes i will think about what i did wrong, until usually the day of. Than i'll try to think again what it was, and he's there to always remind me.

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/2/2007 8:47:21 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: disciplinedslave
does your Master/Mistress/Dom/DommeTop, wait a couple of days or even a week before punishing you for an infraction.
 

Yes.  Master waits a couple of days or even a week to punish His slave.  His punishments are given at His convenience, which usually isn't when His slave has done something wrong.  For instance, this evening His slave was mowing the lawn and working in the yard, including mulching some hay straw, and she wasn't wearing the breathing mask that He always tells her to wear when working in the yard.  His slave has allergies and has just gotten over a cold and the mask keeps the dust and pollen from being breathed in.  Now she is sneezing and having a hard time breathing.  Master saw that His slave wasn't wearing the mask while she was working in the yard.  He didn't have time to punish her tonight because He had to leave for work but, when he called His slave from work, He made sure to to tell her that He will be punishing her for this.

quote:

 if so how does it make you feel. do you constantly think about it and wonder when it is going to come, do you forget until He/She finally punishes you, do you think about what you have done wrong the entire waiting period.....?


It doesn't bother this slave and she doesn't waste her time or energy thinking about when, where, or how the punishment will be administered.  There have been times, in the past, that this slave has been silly enough to think that her Master actually forgot about it and wasn't going to punish her after all but, of course, He never forgets and always makes the punishment appropriate and unforgettable.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: waiting for punishment - 6/3/2007 12:57:53 AM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		I rather like the idea of setting a specific date and time for punishment.  Far enough away that it's within reach, just so she can fret about it a bit.  Besides that will also give me whatever time to calm down I might need.  Then perhaps begin the punishment session abruptly, without a word, and finish it likewise.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
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