Gone for a while (Full Version)

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EStrict -> Gone for a while (6/3/2004 3:06:27 PM)

Just wanted to say I won't be on the boards for the next few weeks. Going on vacation and don't waste much time with things like boards during what ever time I get with my sons :)

I will be checking mail though, so if anyone needs to reach me, or there is something someone things I REALLY need to see here, you can contact me on the collarme side.....




topcat -> RE: Gone for a while (6/3/2004 3:10:31 PM)

"so long boys- have a nice time storming the castle!"

Midear Sandy-

Have fun, hurry back- we'll miss you.

Stay warm,
Lawrence




proudsub -> RE: Gone for a while (6/3/2004 3:22:22 PM)

Have a great time Sandy, where you going?




GoddessMarissa -> RE: Gone for a while (6/4/2004 12:45:48 AM)

Have a safe trip and enjoy your free time with your precious gifts of joy.




Sinergy -> RE: Gone for a while (6/4/2004 3:43:09 AM)

Enjoy your vacation, and safe return.

Sinergy




Estring -> RE: Gone for a while (6/4/2004 9:04:43 AM)

Hey people, I'm not going anywhere! Oh, wait, that's Estrict. [:D]
Have fun Sandy.




MistressDREAD -> RE: Gone for a while (6/6/2004 2:58:04 AM)

Estrict
safe journeys
I too will soon
be doing the
same at the
end of the
month.




MistressKiss -> RE: Gone for a while (6/6/2004 5:01:44 AM)

Have fun, Sandy...

I will be on vacation all this coming week as well, having fun with my 8-year old daughter. I will peek in when I can...

Take care, all, and enjoy the beginnings of a great summer!

[image]local://upfiles/10574/DEE377620FD84554BDEF784DE01FE6AE.gif[/image]




proudsub -> RE: Gone for a while (6/6/2004 8:20:57 AM)

quote:

I will be on vacation all this coming week as well, having fun with my 8-year old daughter. I will peek in when I can...


I hope you have a great time too MistressKiss.




EStrict -> RE: Gone for a while (6/15/2004 3:42:07 PM)

Thanks everyone. Had a great time, got to see my oldest son graduate, my other son turn 17 and introduce Race to the rest of the family. Probably will waste the time to read what I missed as Master is back to old grindstone already, and Race is sleeping off all the time changes and travel.




proudsub -> RE: Gone for a while (6/15/2004 4:04:35 PM)

quote:

introduce Race to the rest of the family


Glad you had a good time Sandy. Sorry who is Race, i must of missed it somewhere along the way.




EStrict -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 8:50:07 AM)

Race is our 23 month old godson I have mentioned several times. He and his mother lived with us while she was pregnant until he was 5 months old. He was with us for his 1st Christmas (after they moved), we saw him a couple of times in the next few months, during which time his mother had a nervous breakdown and gave into her abusive husband's attempts to control every aspect of her life while getting her hooked on meth.

Last Oct we took him for *a few days* when she wanted to leave the husband after they were being evicted from their 3rd place, both unemployed (a year ago she was making 50K a year), and with nothing of value to their name so she could *get organized*. We have had him ever since. I am rambling, because I have to push them this week for permanent custody because the state found out about the situation last Dec and wanted to take Race, but allowed a 6 month temp custody for us to all decide what was next. That ends next week, and if we can't get them to sign the permanent papers, the state can show up to take him away,,,

Our families had seen pictures of him since he was born. My sons talked about him all the time (they have spend time with him every visit since he was born), and consider him their little brother. This was the first chance for my family (other than my sons) to meet him, and he is a doll around people and a ham, so he had a wonderful vacation with all the extra attention (normally it's me 95% of the time and Master 15% , 10 of which we are both around). So if I am distracted this week, or moody, you now know why.




January -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 9:12:37 AM)

Horrible and scary situation. I hope Race's parents sign the papers soon. What other legal remedies do you have?

January




EStrict -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 10:22:13 AM)

*Legal remedies* are none. We are not blood relatives, and not qualified to have foster children (we are just closing on our house, and for the state to allow us to be foster parents we would have to do thousands of dollars of things and find a way to take classes that just don't fit into Master's work schedule), and even if we were, we wouldn't be *guarenteed* to have him placed with us. At just under 2, caucasian, healthy and smart, he is too placeable. The state wants him in their system so they can work on getting a share of the support (in fees) from the parents somewhere down the line, plus from federal resources in *showing* they rescued another child from neglectful parents. They could care less that he is being fully supported by two people who have been in his life since his conception and are not asking for a cent from them or the parents.

He has a set of grandparents in AZ who live in a 30ft trailer (the kind you can drive) in a retirement area and cannot even consider taking him in. He has a single grandmother who is about to lose her job in CA and again isn't in the position for taking him in. The bright side is BOTH sides believe we are the best possible place for him, and because of that have agreed that if the state takes him to come claim him, get guardianship then sign it over to us. The bad thing is that will take days at best months at worst and would be a traumatic experience for the child that is in no way needed.

I just called and left a message for his mother, we will see what happens next.




proudsub -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 11:06:08 AM)

quote:

They could care less that he is being fully supported by two people who have been in his life since his conception and are not asking for a cent from them or the parents.


That is so sad. Thank you for the reply Sandy. Hope it all works out for you and Race.




ModeratorThree -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 12:40:05 PM)

I don't know if it will help or not. But do you have a childrens organization such as CASA where you are. They are in effect atty's for the children and go to court to represent the child and their best interests. Also, most state welfare agencys offer parenting classes for free, Most of those that attend them are court ordered to be able to keep thier children, but still worth a shot.

If it were me, and that's easy to say because it is not. I would get letters from the grandparents saying they believe the child should be with you, make sure they notarize before sending them also. And keep the envelopes they came in as to verify postmark.

You should have been keeping a diary of every time the "parents"( word used loosely) contacted you or even asked how the child was doing. Also, if they are far from you, you can ask the phone company for all past bills that show where you had been in touch with them. They may charge you a minimal fee to send them to you, but may be worth having.


I know this has to be hard, keep the faith and remember there is nothing we cannot overcome. It just seems we cannot. I have seen judges give children to friends of family before, it happens. You just have to present your case strongly. It may serve you to take him to a psychologist or therapist, just to get a documented evaluation of the childs current stability. And their professional opinions should he be removed.

I wish you the best of luck, and do please keep us up to date. You have now attached that little boy to some of our hearts as well!


Mod3




iwillserveu -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 12:52:47 PM)

Have fun. Rest assured everyone will talk about you behind your back.[:D] (Just kidding. On a written forum everthing is in front anyway.)




feline -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 2:33:36 PM)

i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. All the best to you Sandy.


Take care,

[image]local://upfiles/17000/B3ACC7A0407C4150A906D82F76B3ADC6.gif[/image]




EStrict -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 7:45:53 PM)

Thanks for the good thoughts everyone. Mod3, Nevada sucks. I do have a *diary* though, and according to it, it has been 17 weeks and 2 days since they have seen him and 16 weeks and 4 days since I last spoke to them. They live in the same town.

I have tons of reciepts showing things we have bought, pictures of him doing all kinds of things, and with people who clearly love him surrounding him. CPS told us the grandparents beliefs are as irrelevant as the fact that he is here with his parents knowledge and permission. And supposedly *they* are doing what is correct for the protection of the child.

I called her 3 times today, and will try again shortly. I plan on *surprising* them by dropping by where they are at lunch with his grandmother (who is coming to town this weekend from CA just to make sure I get to see them so he doesn't get pulled from here) on Sunday. Honestly, it sucks that the state and child protective services do things by *standardized* rules rather than by individual cases.




sub4hire -> RE: Gone for a while (6/16/2004 8:00:12 PM)

Sandy,
I hope everything works out for you. I know we've talked about the situation before. When all seems hopeless sometimes there are small miracles. We can pray for one for your family.
Please keep us updated.




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