masturbation

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

masturbation

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> masturbation

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

masturbation - 5/23/2005 5:01:31 AM

Lareah

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline

have a boy I cant break of this nasty habit no matter the punishment... he slips home after work every day and jerks off... does anyone know something that is oderless and will burn like hell when put into his lube?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 6:49:43 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Well I certainly don't consider masturbation nasty, but you could put cinnamon oil in it, though it's not oderless.

There certainly are ways to prevent masturbation like chastity devices, though I'm sure if you came up with a punishment direct and intense enough that they would be controlled on their own. Covert actions are generally not a good way to go.

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 8:37:04 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

There certainly are ways to prevent masturbation like chastity devices, though I'm sure if you came up with a punishment direct and intense enough that they would be controlled on their own. Covert actions are generally not a good way to go.

I agree with Em on this. I would never do a covert action. In fact, what stings the most is to walk away from him.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 8:37:39 AM

littlespike

Posts: 80
Joined: 5/21/2005
From: Austin
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lareah

have a boy I cant break of this nasty habit no matter the punishment... he slips home after work every day and jerks off... does anyone know something that is oderless and will burn like hell when put into his lube?

i agree with Emeraldslave2 that beating it out of your slave is not the answer. Chasity devices seem to be the way that most couples put a stop to unwanted sexual activity.

_____________________________

http://www.goddessselene.com/ -- My Mistress and best friend

http://www.homepage.bannerzzz.com/ - My homepage

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 12:17:29 PM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline

G'afternoon all:

This may seem drastic, but I suggest castration. He can't play with what isn't there!

Seriously though, if the boy is directly disobeying you? Why would you allow this to continue? Is his submission really worth all that much if he's breaking a cardinal rule? Walk away and let him wallow in his misery when you're gone. Maybe then he'll wake up and smell the lube.

(There's this evil little voice inside my wicked head suggesting some odorless sports rub to be added to his tube when he's not looking....) <blinks innocently>

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others....

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 1:54:46 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

This is a lifestyle built on trust. I don't know how doing something such as this would cause him to react, but it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. If you can't trust your sub, I don't see that doing something such as taint his personal lube would make things better. It only brings you down to his level. If you feel this sub is worth keeping, talk with him about the problem and tell him you intend to place him in chastity to correct it. Be honest and up front about your intentions. If he has a problem going into chastity for you, dump him. He isn't worth your time. There are too many subs out there to keep one who repeatedly disregards your orders.

Chastity devices to check (of course, make HIM pay for it.. it is his fault it is being acquired.)

cb2000, cb3000 and The Curve - http://www.cb2000info.com/

Neosteel http://www.neosteel.de/ hard to follow site, but an excellent product

Lori's Tube http://www.chastitytube.com/ requires piercings..

There are many others, and you can read reviews of the above and see other types at http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/reviews.htm I personally am having trouble finding a device to fit my sub. He is about 5 inches around when soft. He doesn't need to wear a device to be reminded to not masturbate, but I want him to have a tangible reminder on the days I'm keeping him in chastity. We're just starting out, so he is still at the point of doing less than a week at a time, with no milkings necessary. As the time lengthens the device may become more of a necessity than something that will constantly remind him about my control.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 4:34:59 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

A well fitted chastity device. No question.
That is one of My upfront rules, anyway.
I have very good luck with the CB 2000, 3000 and curve. Keep both keys.
How does he slip home everyday after work? Are you living together? If not, enforced chastity is the way to go for sure. If so, take away any privacy he may be permitted to have right now.
Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 5/23/2005 4:35:53 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: masturbation - 5/23/2005 6:52:27 PM

subgreg

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

I would suggest forced masturbation. Take something that is pleasureable and turn it into a chore. Force him to masturbate several times a day, for extended periods of time. And even if he comes he has to continue until the time is up. This is akin to making a kid caught smoking smoke a pack of cigarettes one after another.

_____________________________

Beach's toyboy
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
~~~
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/beachstoyboy/
http://talkingsex.ning.com/profile/Beachstoyboy

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: masturbation - 5/24/2005 4:54:01 AM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

I'm with the majority on this one. The only thing you will accomplish by spiking his lube is that starting next time, he has a secret stash of lube that you don't know about. You are going from disobedience to disobedience plus deception. Not an improvement in the situation.

No one has brought up the concept of rewarding him well for NOT masturbating. Too many people involved in bdsm think only in the terms of punishment. If you make a study of behavior modification, which anyone calling themselves a Dom/me should, you find out that positive reinforcement of desired behavior is generally more effective than punishing a behavior that you want to extinguish.

Masturbation is self rewarding and self reinforcing. A chastity device would certainly work to prevent masturbation. A tube or CB can also add an element of physical reinforcement in a D/s situation, which both parties find appealing. Ideally, in my view, you should not NEED a physical device to reinforce obedience. To make an analogy, my dog works very well on leash. But it is not the leash that makes him listen to me, he also listens when the leash isn't there. He listens to me because he's trained to do that, leash or not. The leash is just a physical device that shows he's my dog. It's not the greatest of analogies, but I think it helps.

So, I would say, reward him for not masturbating. Make him WANT to comply with what you want, both because he wants to please you, and because what he gets from compliance is more rewarding than masturbation. Long term, that is going to be a dynamic that serves you better than a fear of punishment.

_____________________________

Strange thoughts beget strange deeds.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: masturbation - 5/24/2005 5:26:35 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

Seriously though, if the boy is directly disobeying you? Why would you allow this to continue? Is his submission really worth all that much if he's breaking a cardinal rule? Walk away and let him wallow in his misery when you're gone. Maybe then he'll wake up and smell the lube.

I agree with GddssBella. I am assuming that you have made it clear to him that he is not to masturbate without your permission. If he is continually making the decision to disobey you, I would try to figure out why. Is he seeking more attention from you in the relationship? Is orgasm control a hard limit for him? Is he not as serious about submission as you need him to be?

I personally do not like chastity devices because I believe it takes a much greater level of submission for a sub to refrain from touching himself when he has free access. If I tell him not to masturbate, I expect him to comply with that.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to GddssBella)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: masturbation - 5/24/2005 6:50:16 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

becarefull of forced masterbation, you can shafe the penis and make bloody sores on it playing with it to much, my x did that once played to hard to long and made bloody open sores, and maybe it would serve your right but it's not safe sane nor consnetual to make someone do something that will harm ,

You could also just threaten to leave him since he won't obey even the simplest of your commands and desires.

(in reply to SecretDomme)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: masturbation - 5/25/2005 1:28:25 AM

terah

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline

I wonder if he does it because he enjoying the taboo and they thought of being punished. If he constantly masturbate lock it up with the CBT2000.Or just simply ignore him and don't give him any response.

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: masturbation - 5/27/2005 8:02:23 AM

lionheart67

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/27/2005
Status: offline

Hello All in response to your delema about the masturbation I think that You M'Lady must take control of him.Do not sneak but let him know that the toy he has between his legs is Yours.You Women in general hold great sway over us men the ones such as I that are submissive would do anything for you.But it is something that the two of you should talk about come to terms with each other.Such as for everytime he pleasures himself the he owes You 5 chores around the house Plus he pleasures You for as long as You desire.Also maybe You hold back from Touching his toy .....he will miss You more then he knows.

(in reply to terah)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: masturbation - 5/27/2005 8:41:41 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well, it should be open and honest as can be, make him masturbate with a handful of stinging nettle...........the consequences should be understood.........only my opinion and probably not shared by the group.

edited because I can not spell........lol

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 5/27/2005 8:43:16 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: masturbation - 5/27/2005 11:19:44 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, it should be open and honest as can be, make him masturbate with a handful of stinging nettle

I said this last time stinging nettles were mentioned, and I have to say it again 'cuse it's -so- icky. Some people (like me) are HIGHLY allergic to these. Like, off the charts agony, beyond what most people wish to cause. BE CAREFUL especially on soft, squishy parts!

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: masturbation - 5/27/2005 11:24:03 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Dearest Perverseangelic,

The Pharmocological answer to that is to drink stinging nettle tea. The active ingredient that irritates you is the formic acid (that which causes an ants bite to sting((those little formica countertops))..............lol

Sincerely,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: masturbation - 5/28/2005 7:58:29 AM

marydontwantmen

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline

i must agree if he does not respect you anough to follow your rules leave him to his lube just walk away

Attachment (1)

(in reply to Lareah)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: masturbation - 5/28/2005 9:37:07 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Dearest Perverseangelic,

The Pharmocological answer to that is to drink stinging nettle tea. The active ingredient that irritates you is the formic acid (that which causes an ants bite to sting((those little formica countertops))..............lol

Sincerely,
Ron

I knew abuot the formic acid, but I don't get it. How would drinking a tea of it make me less allergic?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Stinging Nettle Tea - 5/29/2005 7:03:45 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Dearest Perverseangelic,

The reason it works is that stinging nettle also contains a great deal of histamines. Formic acid is destroyed by heat, so never fear, you would not be drinking formic acid. Juice from Dock leaves as well as sage, rosemary and most mints also will alleviate symptoms. Stinging Nettle is a member of the mint family (I am a font of useless and trivial knowledge, dear lady.....lol).... hope this can be of some help to you.

I edited this for clarity of my position. Under no circumstances do I advocate using it on any moist membrane, or when the plant is wet (although I know of nobody dying of it). Additionally, it will not make you less allergic, it only cures the symptoms at the time, the next time will be agony for you again. Allergic reaction to formic acid at these levels while rarish, certainly occurs in the population.

Sincerely,
Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 5/29/2005 7:10:59 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Stinging Nettle Tea - 5/29/2005 9:53:17 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

AH! I get it now. I was feeling like I was being dense. That makes more sense :)

Unfortunatly, the only times I seem to run into the darn things are at SCA events when there's nothing on hand to make it better. Ah well. I've learned that ice helps but otherwies you have to suffer.

Thanks for clarifying. I feel less dumb.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 20