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WhiplashSmile -> RE: BDSM vs SWINGING (6/2/2007 9:53:21 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: princessisabella
Will someone please tell me if you consider swinging to be part of the BDSM lifestyle. I always thought they were two toally different lifestyles.
I don't consider swinging to be part of the BDSM lifestyle, though the two lifestyles can be combined.
quote:
The reason i ask is because i keep getting e-mails from older males telling me how they want to claim me, collar me as their own, and then share me with their friends and strangers. I don't get it. Why bother claiming me and going to the trouble of collaring me if they just want to share me with any male that comes along. Are we nothing more than whores and sluts to these males? When i questioned them about this they all say the same thing, that it's considered swinging and very much a part of BDSM. I'd just like to have it clarified by more than just these males.
It's obvious you are getting emails from Guys that miss you are "here to learn more and find out if you have what it takes to be a real submissive". You are probally getting a ton of email in your inbox from a lot of guys right now, including idiots. There are many people that have monagamous relationships in BDSM as well as those that don't. It's OK if you don't want to be shared. Basically BDSM encompasses and is about the following;
- Bondage
- Discipline
- Dominance and Submission (D/s)
- S&M
You don't even have to have sex to be involved in a BDSM relationship, if you want get down to the core of what BDSM is about. BDSM is technically not about sex. It's just that most people combine Sex with BDSM. You can do anything on the list above without sex involved, let alone trying to drag swinging into the mix.
In regards to sharing/swinging some Doms want this, and others Do not want this. This is where this issue becomes an aspect of a D/s relationship. This is where it's best Dom/mes and submissives to share common views on many aspects of BDSM and life in general. Any Dom that simply wants to collar a submissive without first finding out if they share common views is not living in reality. BDSM relationships are like any other relationships, you need to have things in common for it to work out.
There are some men that have turned to BDSM thinking it's a quick easy alternative after a number of failed relationships. They come online expecting to pick up some easy slave girl that will put up with their mindless bullshit. These same guys tend to believe that submissives/slaves are whores or sluts, hence why they expect to pick up some easy slave girl.
In terms of the sexual sharing of a sub/slave with others there are a number of reasons related to BDSM.
- Humiliation/Degradation (S&M reasons) - where it makes the sub/slave feel like a slutty whore.
However some slave/subs don't feel humilated or degraded by it, so the reason for doing this kind of backfires on the Dom/Master.
- Test level Submissions (D/s reasons) - see if the sub/slave is willing to do anything their Dom/Master requests.
- Removal of Pussy Power (D/s and S&M reasoning) - they want to reinforce their control over your body, including control over your pussy. Simply put it's a form of humiliation designed to keep the submissive in check and from attempting to control the Dom/Master using "Pussy Power".
- Sexual Turn on factors (D/s reasoning) - Where the Dom/Master is sexually turned on by sharing a women with others. Gives the Dom pleasure in seeing or knowing about it.
- Rewarding sub/slave (D/s reasoning) - Some women simply enjoy being shared or experiencing swinging or being shared, so the Dom/Master will reward the submissive by catering to her own sexual desires. Called this a form of controlled cheating, where the Dom/Master is in control of it instead of the sub/slave.
There are probally a number of other reasons why Dom/Masters share a sub/slave these were just a few I could think of off the top of my head, and where they fit under the BDSM categories in terms of reasoning. I'm just trying to provide you with a little insight to why a Dom/Master shares a sub/slave sexually with others. Again, this is not for everybody in the lifestyle while for some it is.
quote:
For the record, anyone reading this, if that is what you want, please pass me by. Any e-mails telling me that is what you have in store me me, will only get you blocked.
You should consider updating your profile with this.
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