RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (Full Version)

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undergroundsea -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/3/2007 10:21:53 PM)

An example of the bitch goddess persona as I see it is the OWK prison guardesses and the like.

Cheers,

Sea




SirKitty -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/3/2007 10:32:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

I have my own theories why malesubs sexualise the Bitch Goddess archetype but I would like your opinion.  Why do malesubs find Femdoms sexier than conventionally "nice" ladies?  What does it for you?

 
I've thought about the Female Supremacy, big bad Domme notion quit a bit and have come to this conclusion: 
 
(just hear me out on this one.  I don't expect to get a standing ovation )
 
It plays into the male mindset of what "strength" is and if it turns them on, it turns us on. 
 
The sad realization is that we are  once again, doing something to make a man like us.  We are a caricature of a women wearing men's armor, behaving arrogantly with seeming disregard for the males feelings and such, 
 
They love it because they can tell their buddies just what bitches we are and how he  always knew all women are bitches deep down and then smirk as they call us "Goddesses".  Or worse, they can call us whores if you ask "tribute".
 
In an odd sort of way. it's an attempt to "keep us in our place".  The behavior we exhibit makes it easier for them to keep an emotional distance.  After all, .... we are cold hearted bitches after the fantasy is over,. 
 
I prefer to exhibit the strength a female has with calm, class and even temper.  


Well you're absolutely right on each point.

I can't help but observe these so-called "male subs" and immediately recognize that it's all a total lie on their part. Like I see how that whole "submission is my gift" bullshit got blown around the boards and had to laugh because again it's that "I submit because you do what i want." I'd really like to see more of these slimy bastards strung up and gutted by a few of these no-bullshit women.

It was about a year ago I saw this news on Tv about some poor flaky asshole who'd met this girl online and she came over and cuffed him up right proper and proceeded to carve on him a litte and the silly ass called the police to save him!!!!

I think that every male in BDSM who claims to be a sub is so completely a manipulative bullshitter, i don't have the words to fully express my disdain.

It comes as no surprise to me that all of them have the fashionable short haired "prison bitch" look.






DominaSmartass -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/3/2007 10:45:49 PM)

Maybe I am wired differently but I actually don't find real cruelty erotic. In fact, even in porn, I don't get turned on by mere brutality and sadism; there must be an underlying relationship where I know there are all those happy fuzzy feelings. Otherwise, it isn't hot but just wrong, in my mind and my gut. Now, if I know that basic foundation is there and that the sub really thrives on being treated that way, then bring it on. 

I don't know if I'm alone in this but would love to hear if there are others who feel the same way. 




liks2plzlf -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/3/2007 10:56:46 PM)

Ann Coulter can be a bitchGoddess to me anytime




BlindUnknown -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/3/2007 11:30:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Maybe I am wired differently but I actually don't find real cruelty erotic. In fact, even in porn, I don't get turned on by mere brutality and sadism; there must be an underlying relationship where I know there are all those happy fuzzy feelings. Otherwise, it isn't hot but just wrong, in my mind and my gut.


*raises hand* I second that ^_^




foolishguy -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:07:21 AM)

Here is one idea:

  Many men are afraid of female sexuality. I know when I am near a really sexy woman, I feel overwhelmed, almost overpowered, by the feelings she generates within me… despite myself. I may not want to have those feelings, or even like the person who inspires them, but I do anyway. The power of these feelings creates a sense of the unknown, of not being in control of myself, or at least my own feelings. This leads to an attempt to inhibit my own responses to gain control over myself. I won’t let myself fully feel the sexual and sensual stimulation that is building inside of me.  

Enter BDSM and the bitch goddess. Everything she is doing and wearing is screaming sexuality. Her fearlessness is letting me know that inhibition is futile. There is no retreat from her sexuality. Her control let’s me know it’s safe for me to have these feelings. So, I can max out on all the wild stimulation and sensations she is sending me, and explore them with her, at her direction, without worry about what it all might mean. Although physically I am bound, emotionally I am more freer (liberated?)
FoolishGuy




chiaThePet -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:16:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Maybe I am wired differently but I actually don't find real cruelty erotic. In fact, even in porn, I don't get turned on by mere brutality and sadism; there must be an underlying relationship where I know there are all those happy fuzzy feelings. Otherwise, it isn't hot but just wrong, in my mind and my gut. Now, if I know that basic foundation is there and that the sub really thrives on being treated that way, then bring it on. 

I don't know if I'm alone in this but would love to hear if there are others who feel the same way. 


Well what'ya know DS, we got something in common after all! (Hugs)
i know without anyone defining or prescribing or applying or analyzing me, where
my submissive nature rises from. i was under the umbrella all my childhood of
those with a Dominant nature, their requirements and commands were a simple
way and fact of life. i knew nothing else, for there was nothing else but my
surrender to them. Young adulthood was just a bit confusing as the vanilla
world around me left me empty and unfulfilled, for me, it was just a tad bit
out of whack. (no pun intended, believe it or not) i suppose one might think
of me as a "stepford" male, assuming the role in a manly world, uncomfortable
with the neanderathal grunting and hoarding of lives and possessions, but existing
among them none the less. Marriage was good when it was good, bad when it
was bad, my former wife somewhat domineering, but not really a Dominant force.
i was passive, She was a bit aggressive, so things got done, in our own ways.

When the marriage ended, and after the depressing season which follows, i began
to think in ernest of my past, those deep feelings within that had not been met, nor
addressed beyond simple passive/agressive behavior in a normal day to day. The
exploration which followed, and talk about looking for Dommes in all the wrong
places, found me smack dab in the middle of thousands of images of corset clad
beauties hovering menacingly over bound, gagged and blindfold laden lads, all
statuesque in boots all the way up to there, flaxen hair cascading commandingly
down and across strong shoulders, pouty red lips grimicing bark and bite on
the prisoner of their cunning capture. That wasn't quite the committment of memory
i myself recalled. No, i was certainly held accountable to their demands, but the
picturesque scenerios which rapidly infested my mind, had no recollection what
so ever. Is this what i was? Is this what i am? Is this how it is supposed to be?
Is this my destiny? To be hogtied and suspended, quivering naked, probed, used,
abused, stripped, whipped and led by collar and chain into the twilight of my
years. And all at the nine inch nailed hands of a seductress of surrender, barking
instructions of duty and demise in the depths of the dungeons of my heart. Ah.....

No. Sure, i was subject to humiliating circumstance, horrible abuse, such things
that no child should experience, but it certainly wasn't at the hands of some
ravenous bookstore BDSM Babe all beauty and bossoms, piercing into my
eyes from the DVD of the month display. No, it was regular looking folk, the
kind you find at the Sunday social picnic, sucking juice out of the chicken legs
as they give you that toothy grin, rolling their tongue around their lips, just so
you are reminded that you are next on the menu. No glamor, no glitz, no high
expectation of porn flick degradation, just the nasty smell of sour beer as they
breath into you, sucking the very life from your quivering resistance. Darkness
never brought the flicker of candelabra's, reflecting the predicament in the eyes
of a slave chained to the castle wall. Darkness brought terror, and silent shadows.

A nervous munch proved the erotic, exotic damsels of demand had not recieved
the memo to attend. Twas like a neighborhood BBQ, sans the boy on the spit, all
roasted and toasted, submitting to such saucey desires as one would believe.
Why they looked and acted just like me, a cocktail to ease the moment, a dip
into the salsa, a nervous laugh to break the ice, and a boy of the shy gaze, all
uneasy about being among them, just waiting for Her to burst through the door,
corset pulled tight, breasts spilling over into the room, flogger waving with
anticipation as She stormed Her way into my reddened face. "Why are you still
standing there you piece of shit?!" <SLAP> " On your knees you pathetic worm!"
<WHIP> "Lick My boots good and clean you scum!" <KICK> "Get off me you
worthless sissy boy!" "Excuse me sir, sir, excuse me, could i get you another
cocktail?" "Oh i'm sorry, my mind was wandering there, sure i'll have another."
If i seek a vodka tonic in this life, don't offer me a scotch and soda, it's not me.

i am a submissive, many reasons for such living here in my heart, mind and body.
Such is recognized and accepted, my journey encouraged by the kind and wise
words of those whom offer guidance and knowledge which uplifts and gives
encouragement beyond mere image and expectation. There are many things
that i know i am, there are just as many, that i know i'm not. Sometimes though,
i feel like the boy at the BBQ, all spinning on the spit, covered in their favorite
saucey delights as they poke and prod, "Is he done yet Marge, i'm hungry,
let's eat." Expectation and image has brought failure and frustration, but the
boy walks still, as he always has, as he always will, as his heart finds the way.
The world can bitch at me if i'm doing it wrong, just not simply because i exist.


chia* (the pet)

 




MsRose -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:38:42 AM)

I cleave to the more "cruelty with compassion" end of the dominant female barometer, so I wouldn't identify with the "Bitch Goddess" moniker. But I am eager to learn what a submissive finds erotic in this persona. I'm reading all the responses with a keen eye toward learning something more about the male psyche.




thetammyjo -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 6:05:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Maybe I am wired differently but I actually don't find real cruelty erotic. In fact, even in porn, I don't get turned on by mere brutality and sadism; there must be an underlying relationship where I know there are all those happy fuzzy feelings. Otherwise, it isn't hot but just wrong, in my mind and my gut. Now, if I know that basic foundation is there and that the sub really thrives on being treated that way, then bring it on.

I don't know if I'm alone in this but would love to hear if there are others who feel the same way.


Like I said when I write those who fit into that "bitch goddess" mold that the OP was writing about are the villians in my stories. The heros (I'm not going to use gendered endings because I find it foolish) are strong, capable women who are motived by love, maybe not the for the main male character primarily but for her community, her people, herself, and then also for him.

I don't find the idea of the porn "bitch goddess" to be attractive at all. Screaming, cruelity without consideration, blanant use of vulgarities or humiliating terms, all of that says to me that she is out of control and unable to find a compatible worthy slave/sub. I think that's just sad.




thetammyjo -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 6:07:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: foolishguy

Here is one idea:

Many men are afraid of female sexuality. I know when I am near a really sexy woman, I feel overwhelmed, almost overpowered, by the feelings she generates within me… despite myself. I may not want to have those feelings, or even like the person who inspires them, but I do anyway. The power of these feelings creates a sense of the unknown, of not being in control of myself, or at least my own feelings. This leads to an attempt to inhibit my own responses to gain control over myself. I won’t let myself fully feel the sexual and sensual stimulation that is building inside of me.

Enter BDSM and the bitch goddess. Everything she is doing and wearing is screaming sexuality. Her fearlessness is letting me know that inhibition is futile. There is no retreat from her sexuality. Her control let’s me know it’s safe for me to have these feelings. So, I can max out on all the wild stimulation and sensations she is sending me, and explore them with her, at her direction, without worry about what it all might mean. Although physically I am bound, emotionally I am more freer (liberated?)
FoolishGuy



I read that behavior as exactly the opposite of what you are describing.

She isn't in control least of all of herself -- if she was she wouldn't need to stomp, scream, and act out in that fashion.

She puts down the man she is with perhaps because she lacks confidence to find a suitable slave/sub so she goes for those she can dislike and insult sort of like a bully who picks on someone to make him/herself feel better.

That seems completely undominant to me.




KaramelGoddess -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:36:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

A few people have already echoed my feeling: I don't understand why there can't be a balance. Why can't you love and care about the person you're being a cruel, mean bitch to?

I have Dominant friends who are affectionate and loving to their boys even while they are doing the most sadistic, evil things to them. They do and take what they want, but still care about whether their boys are happy and healthy, because they want to continue doing and taking with them. The old adage of broken toys and whatnot.

It's hard for me to wrap my around letting somebody "abuse" me when I didn't care about them. It's even harder to imagine doing it to somebody I didn't care about.



Hello all,
I haven't read everyone's posts but this one resonates with Me and I agree wholeheartedly.  I'm in a relationship right now where this applies.
~Kara




SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:42:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

A few people have already echoed my feeling: I don't understand why there can't be a balance. Why can't you love and care about the person you're being a cruel, mean bitch to?

I have Dominant friends who are affectionate and loving to their boys even while they are doing the most sadistic, evil things to them. They do and take what they want, but still care about whether their boys are happy and healthy, because they want to continue doing and taking with them. The old adage of broken toys and whatnot.

It's hard for me to wrap my around letting somebody "abuse" me when I didn't care about them. It's even harder to imagine doing it to somebody I didn't care about.



That was exactly my point as well. I have to have that balance and in having it I find the more deeply  I love, the more cruel and sadistic I am capable of being. I always felt that it was rather ironic. The older I get the more it makes sense to me.




lateralist1 -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 1:50:06 PM)

Being sadistic doesn't mean that you don't care.The problem in the 'lifestyle' is the use of vanilla words. I don't consider myself a cruel person. In fact I'm very kind and loving. I enjoy hurting a submissive male with whom I have a loving sexual relationship with to give me sexual pleasure.What is cruel about that as long as it is totally consensual? Being a bitch is part of the dynamic that's all lol.




addicted2it -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 2:10:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Being sadistic doesn't mean that you don't care.The problem in the 'lifestyle' is the use of vanilla words. I don't consider myself a cruel person. In fact I'm very kind and loving. I enjoy hurting a submissive male with whom I have a loving sexual relationship with to give me sexual pleasure.What is cruel about that as long as it is totally consensual? Being a bitch is part of the dynamic that's all lol.


Lateralist1, I believe that your sentiments accurately describe and speak for most of the dominant females who have a realistic vision of what they are looking for in a sub or slave.  I also believe that a healthy and loving female dominant can successfully integrate her sadistic desires with the nurturing and caring side of her personality in order to create a well-balanced relationship.




lateralist1 -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 3:29:41 PM)

Thankyou addictedtoit. Although those two facets of my character are the most prevalent in a long term relationship I find it extremely difficult to bring them to the fore when trying to enter into a new relationship. In fact I find myself getting angry and frustrated. Where and how do I start to unravel in a subs mind the unbelievable amount of nonsense he has probably imbibed about the 'lifestyle'.I have read your profile and it seems that your mind is full of the same nonsense.I am happy to believe that some women enjoy treating the men they are involved with romantically in the way you have described but I certainly wouldn't. This post states clearly that this is about D/s relationships of the romantic kind which is the only ones that I am interested in. I don't expect to use BDSM to turn a man on. If he isn't turned on by me as a woman then I am not going to get involved with him.




LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/4/2007 3:48:28 PM)

As many have said already, the balance of being cruel and kind is one that works quite well.  I think BDSM porm can be hot, but a woman screaming and beating a sub to a bloody pulp looks more out of control to me than hot.

Julie




LadyPact -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/5/2007 6:09:23 AM)

This has been a wonderful thread.  Thanks to the OP and everyone who posted.  A very good read.

I certainly can't argue the comments about balance.  I'm the classic Libra (for the astrology buffs.)  I always want balance and beauty in all things.  It may lead to why I though along some different lines.

When I read the original post, I couldn't help but think of how it immediately made Me think of sex within the confines of a committed relationship.  Personally, I know that there are different types of sex.  It can range anywhere from the lustful, animalistic, primal, I WANT IT NOW kind of sex (sorry for the crudeness here), basic, raw f*cking.  On the other end of the specturm, is more of what I would term as making love.  The souls connecting in a physical sense, carried by emotion, two people fitting mind, body and soul kind of sex.  Of course, these two thoughts are the extremes.  There are plenty of different types inbetween.

Since We are talking fantasy type here, and We are considering it from the view of the stereotypical male submissive (don't get bent out of shape), the bitch Goddess vision plays more into the idea of the former, rather than the latter.  For a fantasy, of course the lust version works.  It serves it's purpose.  The rocks get off.  The male is happy.

How well that transcends into an actual relationship....  That's another question entirely. 




addicted2it -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/5/2007 7:37:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Thankyou addictedtoit. Although those two facets of my character are the most prevalent in a long term relationship I find it extremely difficult to bring them to the fore when trying to enter into a new relationship. In fact I find myself getting angry and frustrated. Where and how do I start to unravel in a subs mind the unbelievable amount of nonsense he has probably imbibed about the 'lifestyle'.I have read your profile and it seems that your mind is full of the same nonsense.I am happy to believe that some women enjoy treating the men they are involved with romantically in the way you have described but I certainly wouldn't. This post states clearly that this is about D/s relationships of the romantic kind which is the only ones that I am interested in. I don't expect to use BDSM to turn a man on. If he isn't turned on by me as a woman then I am not going to get involved with him.


I realize that my profile does read that way, but if you scroll down past the "nonsense," you will also notice that I do not expect to find all of those qualities in one person.

If you read the profiles of many femmedommes, they also contain much of the same elements that you call "nonsensical."

Sure, it's a fantasy, but don't we all entertain fantasies from time to time?




undergroundsea -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/5/2007 8:47:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: liks2plzlf
Ann Coulter can be a bitchGoddess to me anytime


I have heard Ann Coulter's name come up multiple times towards BDSM fantasies. I think the reason is because what she says gives a sense that she is heartless and extreme, which feeds masochistic fantasies, especially for those who lie in the part of political spectrum she seems to loath. The seemingly real loathing and heartlessness create a rawness for an SM fantasy.

So, yes, she is a candidate for a fantasy. For me, she does not come across as the type of person I would want to work with or live with every day.

Cheers,

Sea




addicted2it -> RE: Why are Bitch Goddesses so erotic? (6/5/2007 9:04:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: liks2plzlf
Ann Coulter can be a bitchGoddess to me anytime


I have heard Ann Coulter's name come up multiple times towards BDSM fantasies. I think the reason is because what she says gives a sense that she is heartless and extreme, which feeds masochistic fantasies, especially for those who lie in the part of political spectrum she seems to loath. The seemingly real loathing and heartlessness create a rawness for an SM fantasy.

So, yes, she is a candidate for a fantasy. For me, she does not come across as the type of person I would want to work with or live with every day.

Cheers,

Sea


As a submissive male, I admire women who have the courage to stand up for what they believe, but I do not buy everything I see on TV or read about in the newspapers and on the Internet. 

Ann Coulter may have an on-screen personna and ultra conservative leanings. On the other hand, for many high-profile women in the news, it is just a ploy to get media attention, and TO SELL BOOKS.  She may, in fact, be submissive in bed...then again, maybe not.

So, if she trips one's trigger and creates a fantasy in one's mind, then by all means, go with it!




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