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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: CuriousLord
From the responses so far, I take it that scene BDSM calls for vanilla social standings outside of scenes while lifestyle BDSMers might take their roles with them with regards to their interactions with others?

I have no idea what this question is asking, can you restate?

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
.They look exactly the same, the actions are exactly the same.  Opening the car door still looks just like opening the car door.

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Seriously, I EARNED my title of 'slave' years ago, I did not take it, I earned it; r/t, hard work, training {12 areas at last count}, learning. I was called 'submissive' by partners, then after a while, I did earn my 'title' as you call it, that's one reason why I loathe being called 'a sub' that little part of me in the back will get fired up and pissed. Its a BIG step backward to be called such after you have worked hard for something. Its like being a VP of a company to having someone call you a 'junior partner.' You earned your title then someone disrespects you in such a malicious manner.

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How does one decide their place?

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  Is it given to you? Taken from you?

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For you, what defines, and determines YOUR place,  

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  Why would a slave, or sub's place be lower than a Master's or Dom's? Why wouldn't it be equal in worth, but merely different in context and concept?

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
Your disdain for submissves is palpable in your above statement.  A submissive isn't a "junior partner" while the slave is VP.  A submissive can be a VP, she just works for a different company and could not be a VP in your company.  Why would you assume only slaves work to earn their title?  A sub isn't a lesser status than slave, they are two seperate dynamics and you cannot gauge the amount of "work to earn" just based on a title - that is akin to saying my way is better than your way. 

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
.They look exactly the same, the actions are exactly the same.  Opening the car door still looks just like opening the car door.

Really??!!!   Damn... here I thought I was being intensively kinky when I opened my car door.  Well another illusion dispelled.... thank you Lucky... next your going to tell me their is no Santa Clause either.

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
Your disdain for submissves is palpable in your above statement. 

How you can read a LOT into something that is not there; plesae go back and READ what was said in context;

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
Your disdain for submissves is palpable in your above statement.  A submissive isn't a "junior partner" while the slave is VP.  A submissive can be a VP, she just works for a different company and could not be a VP in your company.  Why would you assume only slaves work to earn their title?  A sub isn't a lesser status than slave, they are two seperate dynamics and you cannot gauge the amount of "work to earn" just based on a title - that is akin to saying my way is better than your way. 

How you can read a LOT into something that is not there; plesae go back and READ what was said in context; I said that calling a slave a submisisve is like calling a VP a junior partner, its disrespectfull. I don't have a problem with submisives; I just draw a line at what a submissive is and what a slave is. After all the research I have done, I better know the difference.

I know plenty of submissives who have earned their title of 'submissive.' What I meant was, some people just pick a word, ie 'slave' or 'submissive' and say 'ok thats my title now.' They got it out ofd thin air, then did NOTHING to earn it, they just grabbed it. So it has no real 'meaning' for lack of a better term.

Anything can say they are a slave or a submissive or a master or a dominant, but, they are JUST words until they have the experience and/knowledge to back them up and actually 'posess' that title. {i hope that made sence}

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 slaverosebeauty

I loathe being called 'a sub' .....

.....Its a BIG step backward to be called such after you have worked hard for something......

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 slaverosebeauty

I know plenty of submissives who have earned their title of 'submissive.' What I meant was, some people just pick a word, ie 'slave' or 'submissive' and say 'ok thats my title now.' They got it out ofd thin air, then did NOTHING to earn it, they just grabbed it. So it has no real 'meaning' for lack of a better term.

Anything can say they are a slave or a submissive or a master or a dominant, but, they are JUST words until they have the experience and/knowledge to back them up and actually 'posess' that title. {i hope that made sence}

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I think she got it because she was reading what IS there. You said "I did earn my 'title' as you call it, that's one reason why I loathe being called 'a sub' that little part of me in the back will get fired up and pissed. Its a BIG step backward to be called such after you have worked hard for something. Its like being a VP of a company to having someone call you a 'junior partner.' You earned your title then someone disrespects you in such a malicious manner."

So being referred to as submissive would be a step backward. You used the analogy that being a slave is like being a VP, and being a called a submissive would be as disrespectful as referring to a VP as a junior partner. You said such would be disrespectful and malicious. Your words certainly seem to express that you feel your "title" of slave makes you more advanced or places you above or ahead of submissives.
The whole idea of "earning" one's "title" just doesn't make much sense to me.  How exactly do you earn it, who decides you've done enough to have "earned" it, etc, etc.  I am my Master's slave because He says so.  I didn't have to complete "X" number of tasks or jump through "X" number of hoops to "earn" anything.  He wanted to own me, I wanted to be His property, and I am.  I didn't have to prove or earn anything first. 

Erin, this just seems to be more nonsense from yet another clueless "expert."  She is one of the only "real" slaves in existence (according to her own words on another site) and yet she ONLY "dates vanilla men."  That statement alone ought to be enough to set off the BS detector.  Based on her numerous posts on another site I enjoy (she has since been banned there), she is usually pretty clueless and is one of the last people, in my humble opinion, who should be "mentoring" others.  I mean, I could claim to be the world's greatest auto mechanic but if I can't tell you how to do a basic oil change, I don't think you should trust my "vast wisdom."  Same here.....if one only makes nonsensical, contradictory statements, why buy into their claims of being a fount of BDSM knowledge?  Just an observation........luci
 
Edited to add:  Before anyone thinks I'm being too harsh, let me just give a tiny example of the type of "sage advice and wisdom" she offered to someone about what a "total slave" is:
 
Beign a 'total slave' as yuo put it would mean that yuo speak in ONLY 3rd person if that; you would have to refer to yourself in the 'it' sence as a few on here do, you would ALSO have to have NO sence of worth or be allowed to make ANY decision.

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
[Sure anyone can call themselves anything they want - i can say i am the easter bunny if i realy want to, doubt i will get anyone to agree with me.  Actions speak louder then words. 

Who decides how much earning one has to do to claim the title of anything?  If i play tennis for one summer i can call myself a tennis player, just like the pro tennis player who has played 20 years, he just plays a better game then me - but we are both tennis players. 

When you say "real meaning" are you really saying - the same meaing it has for me?  Sounds to me like it. 

You earn your status in other peoples eyes through living what you claim to be. 
Great points, velvet.  You made 'em while I was still typing.  I find it the height of irony that the one claiming that anybody can just grab a "title" without "earning" it has apparently done just that herself.  I don't know what she thinks the approved process is for "earning" one's "title" but, whatever it is, I don't think she's completed it herself.  Her posts and her actions on this and other boards don't seem to fit into any definition of "slave" I've ever seen professed by anyone but her.  Alas it IS true....anyone can say they are anything.  That does not make it so.....luci

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci
How exactly do you earn it, who decides you've done enough to have "earned" it, etc, etc. 

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci
How exactly do you earn it, who decides you've done enough to have "earned" it, etc, etc. 

Oh come on now luci, don't claim to be so ignorant! EVERYONE knows that such a title can only be bestowed upon one by faithfully attending and satisfactorily completing all of the weekend slave training seminars (yes, including spice, point and expectance) at the Secret European Slave Training Academy of the 12th Order! Or were you just being silly?
Dang, Erin.  You busted me.  I KNEW that I had to complete those before becoming owned but I thought I could fool everyone and get by without doing it.  Now, I'm found out.  I'm so ashamed.  While I'm confessing that I got my title undeservedly, I might as well admit all.  I never had a....gulp.....mentor/protector, either.  Oh, the horror of having everyone know I'm not a ''real slave."  How can I ever come back here again........luci 

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

I am my Master's slave because He says so. 
 
That in essence is what it really is all about - and if he says so it's more then likely because you have proved to him, in your own personal way, that you deserve and are worthy of that title.   You could spent 5 to 10 years learning the 12 areas of whatever and never have really learned the true essence of anything.

Beign a 'total slave' as yuo put it would mean that yuo speak in ONLY 3rd person if that; you would have to refer to yourself in the 'it' sence as a few on here do, you would ALSO have to have NO sence of worth or be allowed to make ANY decision.

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ORIGINAL
Beign a 'total slave' as yuo put it would mean that yuo speak in ONLY 3rd person if that; you would have to refer to yourself in the 'it' sence as a few on here do, you would ALSO have to have NO sence of worth or be allowed to make ANY decision.

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
Your disdain for submissves is palpable in your above statement.  A submissive isn't a "junior partner" while the slave is VP.  A submissive can be a VP, she just works for a different company and could not be a VP in your company.  Why would you assume only slaves work to earn their title?  A sub isn't a lesser status than slave, they are two seperate dynamics and you cannot gauge the amount of "work to earn" just based on a title - that is akin to saying my way is better than your way. 

How you can read a LOT into something that is not there; plesae go back and READ what was said in context; I said that calling a slave a submisisve is like calling a VP a junior partner, its disrespectfull. I don't have a problem with submisives; I just draw a line at what a submissive is and what a slave is. After all the research I have done, I better know the difference.

I know plenty of submissives who have earned their title of 'submissive.' What I meant was, some people just pick a word, ie 'slave' or 'submissive' and say 'ok thats my title now.' They got it out ofd thin air, then did NOTHING to earn it, they just grabbed it. So it has no real 'meaning' for lack of a better term.

Anything can say they are a slave or a submissive or a master or a dominant, but, they are JUST words until they have the experience and/knowledge to back them up and actually 'posess' that title. {i hope that made sence}

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL
Beign a 'total slave' as yuo put it would mean that yuo speak in ONLY 3rd person if that; you would have to refer to yourself in the 'it' sence as a few on here do, you would ALSO have to have NO sence of worth or be allowed to make ANY decision.

luci, I'm a bit confused here about where this came from as I can't seem to find it on this thread in an original post, only tacked on to the bottom of your response to the post I made. It kind of looks as though I said it, but I didn't. Am I just blind and can't find where it originated?
Sorry for the confusion, Erin.  It was a quote from her on the other site I mentioned.......luci

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL
Beign a 'total slave' as yuo put it would mean that yuo speak in ONLY 3rd person if that; you would have to refer to yourself in the 'it' sence as a few on here do, you would ALSO have to have NO sence of worth or be allowed to make ANY decision.

luci, I'm a bit confused here about where this came from as I can't seem to find it on this thread in an original post, only tacked on to the bottom of your response to the post I made. It kind of looks as though I said it, but I didn't. Am I just blind and can't find where it originated?
Sorry for the confusion, Erin.  It was a quote from her on the other site I mentioned.......luci

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ORIGINAL: susie
Perhaps you could give us all an insight into the training and experience you have which has enabled you to earn the title of slave.